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Brian Williams and Hillary Clinton from the War Zone

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Brian Williams's interview with Hillary Rodham Clinton was a rare, epic meeting of two hardened warriors.

But while it's true that Brian Williams has an excellent action hero resume, Hillary's heroic experiences beat his by a wide margin. To wit:

Hillary's Heroics:

  • Chelsea was jogging around the Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. (She said she was in bed watching it on TV, but we know better.)
  • Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary. (She admitted she was wrong. Hillary Clinton climbed Mt Everest first. )
  • She was under sniper fire in Bosnia. (A girl presented her with flowers at the foot of the ramp. The snipers were very sly and were not filmed.)
  • She learned in The Wall Street Journal how to make a killing in the futures market. (It didn't cover the market back then. She does not wish to publish her clairvoyance talent.)

More Hillary Facts:

  • She didn't know about the FALN pardons.
  • She didn't know that her brothers were being paid to get pardons that Clinton granted.
  • Taking the White House gifts was a clerical error.
  • She didn't know that her staff would fire the travel office staff after she told them to do so.
  • She didn't know that the Peter Paul fundraiser in Hollywood in 2000 cost $700,000 more than she reported it had.
  • She opposed NAFTA at the time.
  • She was instrumental in the Irish peace process.
  • She urged Bill to intervene in Rwanda.
  • She played a role in the '90s economic recovery.
  • The billing records showed up on their own.
  • She thought Bill was innocent when the Monica scandal broke.
  • She was always a Yankees fan.
  • She had nothing to do with the New Square Hasidic pardons (after they voted for her 1,400-12 and she attended a meeting at the White House about the pardons).
  • She negotiated for the release of refugees in Macedonia (who were released the day before she got there).

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I'm getting thrills up my leg thinking about Komrade Secretary Hillaria Clintonisk's ability to conflate, and I must admit that I almost soiled my pants like komrade trashmouth. This means, I'm "Ready For Hillary" in 2016! Are you, komrades?
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Brian Williams, the best Amerikkan we can ask for.

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Hillary Clinton dodges alien sniper fire on the moon

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DID YOU KNOW THAT...?

Hillary Clinton is the subject of the following books and publications:
  • "The Mars Trilogy" by Kim Stanley Robinson
  • "Roadside America: Giants and other weird stuff along America's roads"
  • "Hillary Clinton, Modern-Day Sex Symbol"
  • "Hillary Clinton at Microsoft" as a Support Knowledge Base article
  • "The Story of Hill and Bill" with Hillary dress-up game. Great resource for educators.

Miscellaneous Hillary Trivia:
  • Hillary wrote "Stairway to Heaven" and many other popular songs of the 60s and 70s.
  • On moonless nights Hillary puts on a Ninja costume and goes out to help the people, by taking away from the rich and giving to the poor.
  • Everything that Hillary touches becomes a registered Democrat voter.
  • When Hillary was younger she used to baby-sit children of Mexican day laborers. All of those children later became Nobel Prize laureates.
  • Once Hillary invented a car that ran on 100% proof pixie juice and emitted oxygen combined with Omega-3 vitamins and minerals. It was stolen by oil companies and buried under 30 feet of concrete underneath a suburban Wal-Mart.
  • Hillary remembers every common American's name and social security number.
  • Every time Hillary speaks about universal healthcare, the risk of cardiovascular diseases falls by 58%, and the risk of cancer falls by 60% nationwide.
  • Every time Hillary smiles, a new abortion clinic opens its doors in America.
  • When Hillary cackles, terminally ill patients become Democrat voters.
  • When Hillary stomps her foot in rage, Iran suffers an earthquake and Indonesia is flooded with tsunami.
  • Saying Hillary's name 50 times in a row increases the Common Good in the universe by 0.1 percent.
  • In the movies, Hillary's part is usually played by her twin brother Chuck Norris.

See more here -

Hillary Clinton: America's Favorite Folk Hero


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Red Square wrote:DID YOU KNOW THAT...?

Saying Hillary's name 50 times in a row increases the Common Good in the universe by 0.1 percent.


Da. I stood in line with other peasants at one of her book signings. Due to a regular diet of sawdust laden bread rations on the kollective farm, I had been suffering from konstipation and hemorrhoids. When I finally got to the head of the line, I leaped to the floor and touched the hem of komrade Hillaria's pantsuit. I was immediately healed! I had to throw away my bloody, soiled underwear, though. Komrades, I must say, "I'm Ready for Hillary!" She is more powerful than Rasputin!

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Bosnia was not the first time Hillary had been under sniper fire.

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