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As many of you know I have created covers for some of the most important magazines in America. Progs Illustrated, Prog Fantasy, and most recently Time. Now at long last I have my own publication, its title was suggested by a comrade I will refer to as Jim Wrenn (because he has more TPC identities than Sybil had personalities).

The cost per issue is $59.99 as my application for federal funding is lost in bureaucratic red-tape. I will also accept ration cards of all types, sexual favors, threats of physical harm, or just about anything of value.

I do suggest you purchase your copy immediately, before a court order to cease and desist is issued thanks to those capitalist at Maxim.

Now back to your shovels, we have a future to win.

* * *
Republican Meghan McCain earned her cover spot on the debut issue of Maksim magazine with her comment “Michelle Bachmann is no better than a poor man's Sarah Palin” on Lawrence O' Donnell's MSNBC show “The Last Word”, adding to her long list of attacks on conservative women.

Well, there goes my appetite.

Comrade,

I would assume that this magazine cover is what is called cheeseandcake?????? I take it Ms. McCain never heard of a New Years resolution for crying out loud?????? Sheesh!

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

McCain't.

You are Waxing most equal.

Maksim, just the other day I was thinking with all the magazine covers you produce, perhaps you should start your own publishing empire—like William Randolph Hearst. You supply the magazine covers, I'll supply the Beet of the Week Awards:


[img]/red/images/clipart/awards/Beet_oftheweek.gif[/img]


As well as the requisite bumper sticker for your mom, who probably can't see out her back window anymore.

[img]/red/images/clipart/awards/Beetoftheweek_sticker.gif[/img]


But then I realized how capitalist and corporate and free market-y enterprising this all sounds.

So instead, your magazines should be grouped together in a new government program called—oh, I don't know—how about People's Public Publishing, or PPP?

This new print medium will be the ideal companion to other public media such as National Public Radio, and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

I'm sure we can get funds from Obama's stimulus to get started. Think not only of the jobs that will be created, but the number of lives touched that the Obama Administration can lump in with any job that might be created, if only temporarily.

Plus we can raise funds from the masses with quarterly shakedowns pledge drives. We can offer them thank you gifts like cheap coffee mugs and water bottles and beer coolers emblazoned with the PPP logo—which should show P's gloriously awash in long flowing streams and splashy waves of red, white and blue!*

Imagine! With continued funding from the PPP and “readers like you” (but I repeat myself) your magazines will always be printed and published—even if no one ever reads them!

*I also think we should start a whole line of "WTF" merchandise to help Obama Win The Future through fundraising for Organizing For America, but that's a topic for another thread.

Thanks so much Pinkie, receiving the BOTW award never ever gets old. I also really like your PPP idea. Maybe we could score some of that sweet Soros money as well.

No need to worry about my mom's rear window, we pulled the coil wire in her car. She thinks she's on the move but she never leaves the driveway.

be sure to use plenty of expensive union labor. that way if the funding runs out, you will qualify for Federal Bailout "Obama Buck$.

You know, I just got back this evening from a trip to DeeCee. I fixed my coffee. Lit my Pall Mall (still only $27/carton in you know where), awoke my laptop, clicked to TPC and what do I see? MAKSIM Magazine!

How wise of you to spark extra sales by featuring on the front cover the Republican we Progressives most often love to quote in order to attempt to enlighten the independents on how they should think about those brain-dead tea-party favorites such as Palin, Coulter, Bachmann & Ingraham (sounds like a law firm, doesn't it-- well 2 out of 4).

You've made a great start because sales of your inaugural issue are sure to take off like a rocket because you'll have progressives and independents flocking to the newsstands to buy one while they last.

I notice that you suitably priced it at $59.99 per issue since this surely is NOT a "poor man's MAXIM." Only super-rich progressives would want to have their fingerprints found on this issue. (Independents are likely to wear gloves.) Of course, I'm looking forward to the time when news events are suffiiently propitious to warrant Anne Coulter on the front cover (in a suitably defammatory pose, of course).

No doubt all Comrades at the Cube will eagerly look forward to succeeding issues in the same way those of us old enough to remember the 1950's used to look forward to the next issue of National Geographic when we convinced our moms we were fascinated by the study of geography (but, of course, they didn't believe us).

--KOOK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOTNQF- ... re=related


Meghan McCain is her name and she's whoring on her daddy's fame
But Palin's Tea Party kicked the moderates out again
He was a loser in '08, left us hungry, just barely alive
But 2010, met us with wins
It's a time I remember, oh so well

The night that Miss Trixie put out
Her opinions dinging
The night that Miss Trixie put out
And her hollow head's ringing
She says, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,la, la, la"

She has no intellect we can see, "No one pays attention to me"
"Daddy, dearest please", Now she's national TV
It sure beats car hoppin' good, and they don't care if her smarts are as good
Ya take what ya get and forget the rest
But how did they think that Meghan was the very best

The night that Miss Trixie put out
Her opinions dinging
The night that Miss Trixie put out
And her hollow head's ringing
She says, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,la, la, la"

Like her father before her, she's a media whore
And like her daddy's politics, where's a moderate stand?
He was a great vet, proud and brave, being liberal he did crave
I swear by his 08 defeat
We don't want no McCain back on our TVs

The night that Miss Trixie put out
Her opinions dinging
The night that Miss Trixie put out
And her hollow head's ringing
She says, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,la, la, la"

The night that Miss Trixie put out
Her opinions dinging
The night that Miss Trixie put out
And her hollow head's ringing
She says, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,la, la, la"

This is the most disturbing magazine cover I've seen in almost 20 years....

Somehow, Meghan McCain in bondage gear is even less attractive than HRC similarly treated...but then, if Mghan had a gag in her mouth, that might improve her attractiveness!

Opiate of the People, you have made my lunch rebel into my mouth. eew

Megan is on our side and I appreciate her efforts of lies and distortions of Sarah Palin, but I am not sure she should have posed for this cover. That does not seem to be her best angle (which might be face down).

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Opiate of the People, you have made my lunch rebel into my mouth. eew

Megan is on our side and I appreciate her efforts of lies and distortions of Sarah Palin, but I am not sure she should have posed for this cover. That does not seem to be her best angle (which might be face down).

Frau,

Your punchline made me laugh out loud.

--KOOK

I am pleased that I pleased the most esteemed Kook. And, I am sure Megan is also pleased tohave pleasured... to have pleased the esteemed Kook.

In the next issue I'd like to see more shovels and other power tools of the proletariat.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Maksim, just the other day I was thinking with all the magazine covers you produce, perhaps you should start your own publishing empire—like William Randolph Hearst. You supply the magazine covers, I'll supply the Beet of the Week Awards:


As well as the requisite bumper sticker for your mom, who probably can't see out her back window anymore.




But then I realized how capitalist and corporate and free market-y enterprising this all sounds.

So instead, your magazines should be grouped together in a new government program called—oh, I don't know—how about People's Public Publishing, or PPP?

This new print medium will be the ideal companion to other public media such as National Public Radio, and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

I'm sure we can get funds from Obama's stimulus to get started. Think not only of the jobs that will be created, but the number of lives touched that the Obama Administration can lump in with any job that might be created, if only temporarily.

Plus we can raise funds from the masses with quarterly shakedowns pledge drives. We can offer them thank you gifts like cheap coffee mugs and water bottles and beer coolers emblazoned with the PPP logo—which should show P's gloriously awash in long flowing streams and splashy waves of red, white and blue!*

Imagine! With continued funding from the PPP and “readers like you” (but I repeat myself) your magazines will always be printed and published—even if no one ever reads them!

*I also think we should start a whole line of "WTF" merchandise to help Obama Win The Future through fundraising for Organizing For America, but that's a topic for another thread.

I wanna WTF necklace!!

Whoever in the Ministry of Propaganda posted Maksim's mag cover on the side bar should know that the contents of my stomach are evenly re-distributed on the floor every time I come on the Cube. How progressive of you.

Rock Tsar wrote:the contents of my stomach are evenly re-distributed on the floor every time I come on the Cube. How progressive of you.

I believe I just shot beet juice thru my nose....

Lenin 'n' Things wrote: I wanna WTF necklace!!

Well, whaddaya know? https://www.atomicmall.com/view.php?id=1082569

Good to see you back, LnT! Though I suspect what you had in mind is some garish gold thing similar to the multitudes of "#1 Mom" and ubiquitous class year pendants and gold chains usually found in those mall kiosks that specialize in what I call "pimp bling."

I'm sorry comrades but this prole took the last OMG and WTF bling off the state store shelves this morning...

Not to worry, comrade shovel is at the ready.

Opiate of the People wrote:This is the most disturbing magazine cover I've seen in almost 20 years....

As that redneck trash-heap Larry the TV repair person said, "You're ugly if you can make a man poop his own wiener."

Red Rooster wrote:I'm sorry comrades but this prole took the last OMG and WTF bling off the state store shelves this morning...

omg-wtf-kitty.jpg

Comrade Red Rooster,

I've always HATED cats until seeing this picture. Now I'll have to give up my daily practice of putting my wife's cat into a bag, driving 40-50 miles out of town to an utterly desolate area, letting the cat out of the bag, and then returning home only to find the cat back at our doorstep being let back in by my wife later that evening.

Since seeing this picture, I've been lecturing the cat on collectivist wisdom, but the stupid cat keeps saying, "It's the Liberty, stupid." What's a cat-hater to do????

--KOOK

Do you have the new Mexican Drug Runner & Kitty Catapult? Works wonders.

Red Rooster wrote:Do you have the new Mexican Drug Runner & Kitty Catapult? Works wonders.

.

Never tried that. My most agressive effort was back when the cat was just a kitten. I sent the cat (via UPS) to Comrade Peeples Journalist, who had moved "next door" to the Palins. I asked him to let the cat loose onto the Palin's property with an expectation that Palin would live up to her reputation of eating kittens.

Instead of doing that, Peeples Journalist merely used the cat to make a "photoshop" image of Sarah and Todd preparing to dine on the kitten, and then Peeples Journalist sent the kitten back to me. What an idiot is the Peeples Journalist.

If he had just let the kitten loose on the Palin's property, there's no doubt that Sarah would have prepared "baked kitten" as a special dinner for Todd and herself, and then Peeples Journalist could have taken a genuine photograph of such event. Of course, this would have made her even more popular among Tea-Partiers because they all eat kittens, but it would at least have increased our standing among the vegans, who share our collective vision for prescribing the diets of all Americans as shown here, here and here.

. --KOOK

The real issue here Comrade Kook, if I may call you comrade - seeing as you're in a straight jacket ready for the gulag and all, is not the cat at all... but a somewhat notorious pug.

This pug has been wandering around collective circles scaring kitties and so the conflict of the kitty/pug has become notorious for useful idiot metaphors referring to... yep you guessed it... DemonCats and RePug-licans. If you ask me, the useful idiots that came up with these memes are like small children playing in a vast toy land created by their superior parents.

I will not go on about the triteness of these memes except to assert that The Party has made it clear through private communique that we must now Change™ the meme. Cats are to easily out witted and pugs far to skiddish for an old dried up rooster. I rather prefer something crunchy and small, or scrawny and ugly. So it has been decide that the Candiru be our new metaphor for our beloved Democrats and I think perhaps the Newt for idiotic useful Republicans.

Hail Obama!

Now that I've been Newtered by Red Rooster, I need to go back into the Gulag for re-education.


--KOOK

Good to see you back, LnT! Though I suspect what you had in mind is some garish gold thing similar to the multitudes of "#1 Mom" and ubiquitous class year pendants and gold chains usually found in those mall kiosks that specialize in what I call "pimp bling."



You know me well, Pinkie. I just can't resist a little bit of gaudy bling.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, what have you ever done?
Dumb, dumb, dumb, hear the sound of a thud
Dumb, dumb, dumb, what have you ever done?
Dumb, dumb, dumb, hollow sound, hollow sound...
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....

Meghan's kinda dumb
Meghan's really dumb
Middle of the road she's on
Taking no stand is fun
She thinks her daddy's cool
Went to his middle school

They say her developments arrested
Something didn't grow in her brain
But man, we saw it comin'
Not a chip she's the blockhead
God said brain, she heard him say rain

Meghan's kinda dumb
Meghan's really dumb
With blonde roots to her tongue
Now everybody watch the fun
Thinks she has a unique view
Like dad thinks losing's cool

He jacked republican party
The man has got to be insane
He was just the media's whore
He found himself lost in his blunder
Thought middlenomics was the way

God said brain, you ran from the rain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the rain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Meghan's kinda dumb
Meghan's really dumb
Her Blonde roots reach her tongue
Now everybody is making fun
What did her daddy do,
That Meghan's a White Trash Fool?

She really came across sleezy
Cos she gots more boobs than brains
She said she likes to play her daddies game
And he is such loser
Their politics are oh so lame

Ran away, run away from the rain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away got no brain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Meghan's kinda dumb
Meghan's kinda dumb
Meghan's kinda dumb
Everybody's making fun

Meghan's kinda dumb
A bimbo to be scorned
She's each and every RINO's hon (Honey, honey what's your problem)
'Cause Meghan's kinda dumb (We know she ain't right)
Meghan's kinda dumb (Was it daddys middle huggin')
Deeps blonde roots not brain one (That made the left look right)
Her stupid mouth stays on run
Meghan's really dumb


Props to Maksim

Sorry, the Information Minister cannot speak ill of a woman with yabos like hers.

"You don't have to bust your hump if you can hump your bust"

I'll give her a grade of "D" if you know what I mean.

Just as I was feeling bad about dissing Meghan McCain, she tweets this as a comment on today's conviction of Roger Stone.

Oh well.

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