Sunday January 20, 2013, Barack Hosanna Obama, Amerika’s fearless and most able leader, Imperial Head of the USSA, Regal Lord of all korrect thoughts, and Glorious Healer of Humanity, is to be enthroned for a second term. It is with great pleasure... no, more a sense of duty, that I offer my humble services in honor of His investiture with the majestic power that is so rightly His and His alone.
Thus, meekly, I offer a token of my appreciation - more, gratitude - for the loving, selfless, and compassionate mercy He has bestowed upon both my wretched self and His most equal flock. To this end, and in hopes He will accept my unworthy item, I submit this pendant as an offering for sale within His 57th Inauguration Store.
I trust my fellow comrades will consider placing their own contributions below.
57th Inauguration Store
Commemorative panic jewelry for the Obama years.
The Presidential Inauguration State-Run Dry Goods Store #57 would also have the following must-buy sundries for proletarian acquisition, as requested earlier by this work camp in Charlottesville, VA:
The first necessity of every unionized toiler:
Also, since assault rifles are going to be outlawed, the upper echelons of People's state might still enjoy this improved everyday-use hunting rifle, which our Comrade R.O.C.K. also embellished with a rape whistle.
While this surely is a poor substitute for beet vodka, it will let you say "Obama is the reason why I drink" and not come off as a disgruntled low-brow conservative knuckle-dragger.