Progressive news media have come up with a series of articles asking the same question, "Why do clouds hate us?" Already the spelling of the word "hurricane" in the New York Times and other leading media has been replaced with a more sensitive Spanish term "huracán," and some pundits have switched to a less judgmental term "draft" The word "cumulous" has quickly become derogatory and is also being ubiquitously replaced with such euphemisms as "cute" and "puffy."
President Bush has spoken to the nation from the rooftop of a flooded Seven Eleven in downtown New Orleans yesterday, vowing a swift and decisive response towards the environment. "We are up against ruthless weather systems that wish us harm," the President said. "But we are going to hunt them down and strike them at their bases. Make no mistake, and I want to be absolutely clear about it - this is not a war against all environment. We are not fighting animals and forest, just the weather."
Conservative commentator Sean Hannity has pointed out that even though weather systems had been lashing Florida and the Carolinas for years, the previous administration's response was to "just put up with them," while Bush has sworn to take the fight to the enemy, no longer treating it as a meteorological problem. An ultra-conservative talk show host and Bush critic Michael Savage called President's actions too soft and demanded an immediate destruction of all weather systems crossing US borders. He has also insisted that all activities of Environmental Protection Agency be suspended and its computers checked for possible clues of sedition and mental disorder.
France and Germany have called Bush's response "a knee jerk reaction" and urged more understanding and tolerance. White House spokesman Scott McClellan was quick to point out that "only last year France had 10,000 citizens killed in a heat wave, an action bearing all the hallmarks of weather." He also commented there was "another heat wave across Europe this summer, without a meaningful response from France and Germany whatsoever."
Despite the unwillingness of many in Old Europe to join the War on Weather, Bush has found two staunch allies in Ireland and Britain. This is seen as a major boost in support for war effort as both island nations have long suffered under what the White House described as "perpetual cloud of wet gloom, rain, mist, fog, and damp." Irish Premier Bertie Aherne is pleased that the US has finally woken up to the "dastardly effects of the weather," as Irish people are forced to spend long tedious hours in bars due to the perpetual rain outside. All activity in Ireland and Britain is at the mercy of the weather.
ACLU has warned the Bush Administration against profiling darker, heavier clouds and demanded that all clouds be treated equally, regardless of their origin, color, or elevation. Meeting their demands, US Air Force has detained a formation of cirrous clouds over the North Pole. The suspects were escorted over to the island of Cuba, examined, and then released after severe criticism from an international group Could Watchers for Peace.
Although Americans seem to be united in their response to the recent disastrous attacks, signs are emerging that the Democrats in Congress are giving in to radical pressure groups and begin to question President Bush's methods and motives. Senator Edward Kennedy has stated in a televised interview that Bush "knew" about Hurricane Katrina back in 2004, after a leading meteorologist had sent him a memo predicting, with an absolute certainty, that there would definitely be a hurricane in the following summer. "Bush knew," Kennedy repeated several times. A few whistleblowers have emerged since then exposing an alleged cover-up of corporate weather forecasters. Some Democratic leaders are now claiming that Bush had invited Katrina on purpose, in order to stir up media frenzy and thus avoid meeting with Mother Sheehan.
The new Republican initiative is met with vehement protests from grass root groups bankrolled by George Soros, claiming that declaring martial law in Louisiana infringes upon the rights of the looters to freely loot, as they represent oppressed classes who have a moral right to get back at society.
Mother of All Protesters Cindy Sheehan sided with Mother Nature at Meet the Press yesterday, where she endorsed Hurricane Katrina as Mother Nature's way to liberate itself from the oppression of American imperialism. "A grieving mother myself, I understand Mother Nature's rage against America and George Bush in particular. I did not give Bush my permission to protect America from diddly-squat! I am outraged that he is sending our kids to fight an immoral war against nature in Louisiana. Our children were not raised to fight the Neocon war for Israel in New Orleans."
In other news, Jane Fonda and George Galloway's Anti-War Bus Tour is said to be diverted to Louisiana in order to protest the illegal use of US troops in flooded areas.
Quote:It is reported that black hurricane victims in New Orleans have begun eating corpses to survive. Four days after the storm, thousands of blacks in New Orleans are dying like dogs. No-one has come to help them.
Quote:In fact, Comrade Probie, Nazism was one of the highest forms of collectivism, fighting for the right of their socialist ethnic collective to trump the rights of all other ethnic collectives and of the bourgeoisie. But that information is to be shared among Party members only. For the rest of the masses we must reinforce the image of Nazis as right-wing individualists in the mold of Ayn Rand.
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