As Americans are trying to come to grips with nature's attack on the Gulf Coast, reports are growing about an increased level of hate crimes against environment in US cities and rural areas.

In Georgia, a man was arrested for screaming environmental slurs at the passing clouds and threatening them with a shotgun, while in other areas local residents were seen "accidentally" ramming trees, rocks, and flowery hedges with their cars, trucks, and SUVs.

No warm fuzzy feelings remain towards the environment in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana. A couple driving a car with a bumper sticker that said "Nature Lovers" were dragged out of the vehicle and beaten with sticks by a gang of angry neighbors. Instead, offensive bumper stickers saying "Mother Nature is a Big Fat Whore" are flying off the shelves in the states most affected by the hurricane. Needless to say, global warming has increased.

Local offices of Greenpeace and Sierra Club were looted and destroyed by angry mobs, which prompted federal government to evacuate Robert F. Kennedy, Al Gore, and other known "environmental appeasers" to an undisclosed location to protect them from possible attack for "being nature's fifth column" and "siding with bitches like Katrina.

"Progressive news media have come up with a series of articles asking the same question, "Why do clouds hate us?" Already the spelling of the word "hurricane" in the New York Times and other leading media has been replaced with a more sensitive Spanish term "huracán," and some pundits have switched to a less judgmental term "draft" The word "cumulous" has quickly become derogatory and is also being ubiquitously replaced with such euphemisms as "cute" and "puffy."

President Bush has spoken to the nation from the rooftop of a flooded Seven Eleven in downtown New Orleans yesterday, vowing a swift and decisive response towards the environment. "We are up against ruthless weather systems that wish us harm," the President said. "But we are going to hunt them down and strike them at their bases. Make no mistake, and I want to be absolutely clear about it - this is not a war against all environment. We are not fighting animals and forest, just the weather."

Conservative commentator Sean Hannity has pointed out that even though weather systems had been lashing Florida and the Carolinas for years, the previous administration's response was to "just put up with them," while Bush has sworn to take the fight to the enemy, no longer treating it as a meteorological problem. An ultra-conservative talk show host and Bush critic Michael Savage called President's actions too soft and demanded an immediate destruction of all weather systems crossing US borders. He has also insisted that all activities of Environmental Protection Agency be suspended and its computers checked for possible clues of sedition and mental disorder.

France and Germany have called Bush's response "a knee jerk reaction" and urged more understanding and tolerance. White House spokesman Scott McClellan was quick to point out that "only last year France had 10,000 citizens killed in a heat wave, an action bearing all the hallmarks of weather." He also commented there was "another heat wave across Europe this summer, without a meaningful response from France and Germany whatsoever."

Despite the unwillingness of many in Old Europe to join the War on Weather, Bush has found two staunch allies in Ireland and Britain. This is seen as a major boost in support for war effort as both island nations have long suffered under what the White House described as "perpetual cloud of wet gloom, rain, mist, fog, and damp." Irish Premier Bertie Aherne is pleased that the US has finally woken up to the "dastardly effects of the weather," as Irish people are forced to spend long tedious hours in bars due to the perpetual rain outside. All activity in Ireland and Britain is at the mercy of the weather.

ACLU has warned the Bush Administration against profiling darker, heavier clouds and demanded that all clouds be treated equally, regardless of their origin, color, or elevation. Meeting their demands, US Air Force has detained a formation of cirrous clouds over the North Pole. The suspects were escorted over to the island of Cuba, examined, and then released after severe criticism from an international group Could Watchers for Peace.

Although Americans seem to be united in their response to the recent disastrous attacks, signs are emerging that the Democrats in Congress are giving in to radical pressure groups and begin to question President Bush's methods and motives. Senator Edward Kennedy has stated in a televised interview that Bush "knew" about Hurricane Katrina back in 2004, after a leading meteorologist had sent him a memo predicting, with an absolute certainty, that there would definitely be a hurricane in the following summer. "Bush knew," Kennedy repeated several times. A few whistleblowers have emerged since then exposing an alleged cover-up of corporate weather forecasters. Some Democratic leaders are now claiming that Bush had invited Katrina on purpose, in order to stir up media frenzy and thus avoid meeting with Mother Sheehan.


The new Republican initiative is met with vehement protests from grass root groups bankrolled by George Soros, claiming that declaring martial law in Louisiana infringes upon the rights of the looters to freely loot, as they represent oppressed classes who have a moral right to get back at society.

Mother of All Protesters Cindy Sheehan sided with Mother Nature at Meet the Press yesterday, where she endorsed Hurricane Katrina as Mother Nature's way to liberate itself from the oppression of American imperialism. "A grieving mother myself, I understand Mother Nature's rage against America and George Bush in particular. I did not give Bush my permission to protect America from diddly-squat! I am outraged that he is sending our kids to fight an immoral war against nature in Louisiana. Our children were not raised to fight the Neocon war for Israel in New Orleans."

In other news, Jane Fonda and George Galloway's Anti-War Bus Tour is said to be diverted to Louisiana in order to protest the illegal use of US troops in flooded areas.

This warning, by the Peoples' musical troop was issued in November, 1971 and was ignored by Bush while he frolicked as beer guzzling bourgeois college student!!!


"When the levee breaks I'll have no place to stay.
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Lord, mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
...
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.
Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?
...
Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.
All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' 'bout my baby and my happy home.
Going, go'n' to chicago,
Go'n' to chicago,
Sorry but I can't take you.
Going down, going down now, going down."

Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones, John Bonham, Memphis Minnie, 1971

Katrina sighted in the vicinity of the offices of H. Chavez.

Statement by Proletariat Hero -Juan Valdez: "Yes I did see what looked exactly like the photos on the 'wanted poster' issued by "The People's Cube" directorate. She was flying very high, then made a low pass as if practicing for a strike. It's those evil Jankee capitalists. They are trying to take away our beloved and benevolent brother leader."

Opiate Of the Masses pusher and religious extremist nut-case - P. Robertson suspected of making attempt to take out the Peoples' Leader by contracting known terrorist
~ Katrina ~ for the job.

From this day forward all clouds, atmospheric winds, etc. are to be eradicated under penalty of... stuff....

The Weatherman Underground is back and we take full credit for the hurricane bomb you call Katrina! We will send a list of demands later. Right now we're trying to find the pieces of our fallen comrades that were transporting the hurricane bomb in their VW mini van when it accidentally went off.

CORPSE EATERS! OH MY GOD! THE STORM HAS CREATED FLESH EATING ZOMBIES! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randall-r ... _6643.html

It is reported that black hurricane victims in New Orleans have <b>begun eating corpses to survive. Four days after the storm</b>, thousands of blacks in New Orleans are dying like dogs. No-one has come to help them.

I am a sixty-four year old African-American.
New Orleans marks the end of the America I strove for.

I am hopeless. I am sad. I am angry against my country for doing nothing when it mattered.

This is what we have come to. This defining watershed moment in America's racial history. For all the world to witness. For those who've been caused to listen for a lifetime to <b>America's ceaseless hollow bleats about democracy.</b> For Christians, Jews and Muslims at home and abroad. For rich and poor. For African-American soldiers fighting in Iraq. For African-Americans inside the <b>halls of officialdom [SIC]</b> and out.

My hand shakes with anger as I write. <b>I, the formerly un-jaundiced human rights advocate</b>, have finally come to see my country for what it really is. A monstrous fraud.

But what can I do but write about how I feel. How millions, black like me, must feel at this, the lowest moment in my country's story.

Randall Robinson is a social
justice advocate and author
whose <b>works include The Debt –
What America Owes to Blacks</b>

I don't know -- this dude sounds pretty jaundiced to me. And since when do you starve if you don't eat every four days? I think we all owe this guy a trip to a psychotherapist.

Now Bush will have the Vietnam he always wanted, complete with his favorite toys: agent orange, napalm and daisy cutter bombs. Nature should have studied history before making such a bold move on US soil. Bush has taken out many others for lesser "crimes against humanity".

Attention all Proletariat!

The use of psychotropic substances, which lead to illusory perception of socialist reality is strictly forbidden. Usage of any amount is punishable by banishment to a place worse than the Peoples' Republic -that is- the DNC headquaters in captialist exploiter of the masses -Washington DC!

Vodka may be consumed in unlimited quantities.

by order of Commissar of Peoples' Mental Illnesses

That dirty b***h Katrina!
She rained all over on MY parade and took all the reporters away from me!!!

Remember, you evil americans did not sign Kyoto and sacrifice your economy to the Third World.

F.M. Rommel! You poser! Where's the accent!??

PURGE HIM!! He's a Nazi anyway, not a Collectivist!

In fact, Comrade Probie, Nazism was one of the highest forms of collectivism, fighting for the right of their socialist ethnic collective to trump the rights of all other ethnic collectives and of the bourgeoisie. But that information is to be shared among Party members only. For the rest of the masses we must reinforce the image of Nazis as right-wing individualists in the mold of Ayn Rand.

Red Square

In fact, Comrade Probie, Nazism was one of the highest forms of collectivism, fighting for the right of their socialist ethnic collective to trump the rights of all other ethnic collectives and of the bourgeoisie. But that information is to be shared among Party members only. For the rest of the masses we must reinforce the image of Nazis as right-wing individualists in the mold of Ayn Rand.

Red Square

Ayn Rand...is she hot like Gena Davis?

Luckily for us she was not, otherwise it would be harder for us to force the masses to ignore her.

Red Square

Ayn Rand? Who the hell is Ayn Rand? Never heard of her!
You will take the next northbound boxcar to the Karl Marx Treatment Center and get some help!
Ayn Rand, indeed.
Marx, Lenin, Rosa ... what is this world coming to ...