Canberra:

Australia's Minister for Climate Change and Energy, Chris Bowen, made a statement at the COP24 (UNFCCC) gathering, recently, that Australia doesn't need to invest in nuclear domestic energy because Australia has more wind and sun than the rest of the world, which is investing heavily in nuclear, as a cheap source of energy. Considering the amount of hot air coming out of Canberra, there is some credibility to this claim.

"The Sun doesn't send a bill. The wind doesn't send a bill," Bowen stated.

The Australian Minister for Defence, Richard Marles, responded by saying, "This is going to change the whole way we look at the AUKUS agreement to buy and build nuclear submarines, since we don't need them, anymore. We are looking at green submarine technology that would include both solar and wind propulsion, which would keep our submarines on active duty, indefinitely."

When questioned about the viability of the technology proposal, considering that the sun doesn't always shine and the wind doesn't always blow, Marles retorted, "Look, we aren't always at war, either. Besides, we have a back up for the rare occasions when the wind and the sun are not cooperating. OAR power, or Organised Active Rowing. It's an entirely renewable backup and, utilising ocean currents, will be more than ample for those times when the Royal Australian Navy experiences the doldrums."

Asked about when these new submarines will be ready for service, Marles replied, "Well, this technology has never been tried on submarines before, so we're going to have to iron out some of the expected glitches, but we expect to have the first submarine off the slipway and underwater by 2080. Just in time for World War 4."

From the Red Southern Paradise Gulag, your foreign correspondent, KKK
 

I thought left-wing hippie types had YELLOW submarines.....?

Red Zeppelin wrote: ↑

11/25/2024, 1:48 pm

I thought left-wing hippie types had YELLOW submarines.....?

As far as I can determine, comrade, the color scheme has not yet been discussed, though I wouldn't be at all surprised if camo yellow is chosen. It's one of those "hiding in plain sight" scenarios. No belligerent navy could possibly believe such a technological marvel would be a threat.

Red Zeppelin wrote: ↑11/25/2024, 1:48 pm
I thought left-wing hippie types had YELLOW submarines.....?

 What about wrapping the rainbow flag around the entire sub?
It would signify the end of heteronormative hegemony. Why even angry butch lesbians and gender-dysphoric hermaphrodites would be able to rule the seas...

trashmouth wrote: ↑

11/26/2024, 11:49 pm

Red Zeppelin wrote: ↑11/25/2024, 1:48 pm
I thought left-wing hippie types had YELLOW submarines.....?

 What about wrapping the rainbow flag around the entire sub?
It would signify the end of heteronormative hegemony. Why even angry butch lesbians and gender-dysphoric hermaphrodites would be able to rule the seas...

I have to remind you of the time that a bunch of drunk cross-dressers, squeezing pigs bladders, that sounded like the strangling of a thousand cats, turned up to terrify the Roman Empire. Hadrian thought, "These people are too insane. We don't want to conquer them. Let's just build a wall to keep them out." Don't underestimate the power of the LBGTQ+WTF sailors. They know how to bitch slap like the worst of them.
 

RE: I have to remind you of the time that a bunch of drunk cross-dressers, squeezing pigs bladders, that sounded like the strangling of a thousand cats, turned up to terrify the Roman Empire. Hadrian thought, "These people are too insane. We don't want to conquer them. Let's just build a wall to keep them out."

Some of those were my forefathers*. The English couldn't deal with 'em either - hung 50 members of my Clan at one time once. The BBC even did a documentary on it.

This was a big reason we wound up in America. That fierce spirit of independence also qualified me for membership in the Sons of the American Revolution AND the Sons of Confederate Veterans.

INVICTUS MANEO, Baby!!

*Gotta admit - I'm a little conflicted here. Two centuries after my Scots ancestors came to America my Roman-affiliated ancestors showed up.

Red Zeppelin wrote: ↑

11/27/2024, 12:02 pm

RE: I have to remind you of the time that a bunch of drunk cross-dressers, squeezing pigs bladders, that sounded like the strangling of a thousand cats, turned up to terrify the Roman Empire. Hadrian thought, "These people are too insane. We don't want to conquer them. Let's just build a wall to keep them out."

Some of those were my forefathers*. The English couldn't deal with 'em either - hung 50 members of my Clan at one time once. The BBC even did a documentary on it.

This was a big reason we wound up in America. That fierce spirit of independence also qualified me for membership in the Sons of the American Revolution AND the Sons of Confederate Veterans.

INVICTUS MANEO, Baby!!

*Gotta admit - I'm a little conflicted here. Two centuries after my Scots ancestors came to America my Roman-affiliated ancestors showed up.

I understand the conflict, comrade. I'm of English aristocratic stock, Scottish aristocratic stock and Welsh stock, with an English aristocratic surname. I'm more Celtic than Anglo-Saxon, but I have quite a bit of Italian and French heritage. I'm basically a European mongrel.
 

From a local colleague:





mdtlion

@mdtlion


BREAKING NEWS: Chris Bowen Announces New Policy:

Australians To Power EVs By Pedaling Stationary Bikes

In a bold move, Energy Minister Chris Bowen has announced the “Sweat For Sustainability” program, requiring Australians to pedal stationary bikes to power their air conditioners and charge their electric vehicles. “This innovative solution tackles the electricity crunch while promoting fitness,” Bowen said. “Every household will become a mini power station. It’s a win-win!”

Greens leader Adam Bandt jumped on board, proposing EV drivers carry rooftop solar panels for backup. “Charge your EV when it’s sunny, and if it’s not, get pedaling,” Bandt said. “It’s the future!”

Australians weren’t as thrilled. One EV owner in Sydney complained, “I signed up for green energy, not the Tour de France. Charging my car takes four hours of cycling!”

Meanwhile, the government still recommends switching off air-con. “Or use a fan powered by your pedaling,” Bowen added confidently.

Malcolm Roberts of One Nation (a political party) took to Twitter: “Next, Bowen and Bandt will tell us to attach wind turbines to our bikes!”

At press time, Bowen was pedaling furiously to power the mic at his next press conference.