Before there was The People's Cube, there was CommunistsForKerry.com - the Cube's spiritual ancestor, a glorious satire factory launched in 2004, back when the Party still distributed propaganda on floppy disks and chirping dial-up modems.

For two decades it sat in digital amber, as a relic of the People's struggle against decadent capitalist web design - preserved like Lenin in Red Square. But after countless Five-Year Plans of coding and debugging, the site has been triumphantly released from its 2004 time capsule, for comrades old and new.

Yes, comrades: while capitalist websites update weekly, ours update once every 20 years (per Party directive). It should bring nostalgic tears to those who once marched with us, posted comments, or lurked faithfully from the shadows. And for a new generation of comrades, it is a lesson in history: the glorious days when John Kerry was the People's Great Hope, flip-flops were ideological footwear, and street theater ruled the day. A time when socialist web development thrived under the Bush Era.

And while the ex-president formerly known as Bushitler has since switched sides, fallen in love with Michelle Obama, and become a prog, our mission was always larger than the bourgeois politicians of the moment. Much larger.

So dust off your modem, comrades, and relive the glory: the heritage site of the Revolution has returned!
 
 

Zdórovo!

It even has the comments!

Now we can sing the old songs again.

When we opened the CFK time capsule, we discovered it was powered by ancient technologies last seen roaming the earth during the reign of George W. Bush:

• PHP 4 (back when “security” meant hoping no one looked too closely)
  
• MySQL 3 (an engine held together by chewing gum and socialist slogans)
  
• phpBB 2.x (a forum system so old it hadn’t heard of social media yet)
  
• HTML fossilized into table layouts (prehistoric relics of the Dial-Up Era).
  

This wasn’t so much an upgrade as an archaeological dig. Each layer revealed extinct code that had to be carefully scraped off and re-translated into the modern tongue. It took more Five-Year Plans than originally budgeted, and a whole Red Army of bug fixes.

But at last the site now runs on a super-modern platform - still gloriously outdated in content, but technologically fortified to survive another 20 years.

So yes, comrades: the heritage site of the Revolution has been successfully electrified, digitized, and collectivized - ready once again to serve American workers and peasants!

Rearcheologists cheer the unearthed New Economic Plan of Lenin.

Re: Oct. 10, 2004 Revolution

Simply put, profiteering is allowed for Party members only. Our compassion for the people must be compensated. The stronger the compassion, the bigger the compensation.

We were against profiteering before we were for it.

August 27, 2005 Revolution

George Soros reveals Dark New Economic Plan based on previous New Economic Plan pwnd by Lenin.

https://www.wired.com/story/dark-money- ... fluencers/


Seize the means of production of communism!

Dig your own grave for 8k a month, comrades!

Jurassic Cube!