Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

Comrade7.62 wrote: I DENOUNCE PINKIE! I DENOUNCE HER IN THE MOST VEHEMENT POSSIBLE TERMS! I DENOUNCE PINKIE IN THE MORNING! I DENOUNCE PINKIE AS I BRUSH MY TEETH, AND WHEN I DEPOSIT MY STIMULUS PACKAGE IN THE COMMUNAL OUTHOUSE. I DENOUNCE PINKIE AS I DIG BEETS, AND I DENOUNCE PINKIE AS I COLLECT MY DAILY RATION. I DENOUNCE PINKIE TO THE HIGHEST HEAVENS, AND TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF CAPITALIST HELL. IN SHORT, I WOULD RATHER COPULATE WITH NANCY PELOSI THAN HAVE THIS SEARING, EVIL IMAGE BURNED IN MY MIND. BAD PINKIE! NO DONUT! BAD, BAD PINKIE!

Nice try, Vodkov, but--oh wait, you're not the Criminally Insane Vodkov. Not even under an assumed name, because HE always throws in that tired old accusation that I'm a Huckabee Operative when I've told him time and again that I'm not that kind of HO.

Would someone please explain to Comrade 7.62, once and for all, that no one has ever walked out of here unassisted and under their own steam, much less on their own two feet or even on all fours, after trying to denounce Pinkie?

*WHACK!!!*

Is there anything you'd like to try and say to me now, Comrade 7.62?

Anything?

Anything at all?

Lately I'm beginning to think you comrades actually enjoy getting hit with a shovel.

Yes Pinkie. I DENOUNCE YOU!
*ducks and affixes People's Bayonet ™ to People's Rifle(TM)*

You and your accursed shovel are no match for a squeegie on the end of a cement filled rifle barrel. I can parry and thrust all day long, especially when under the influence of Obama's Snake Oil. Besides, I acquired a People's Anti-Pinkie Protective Headgear ™ (pat. apld. for) which greatly aids me in protecting my head from your flimsy shovel.

People's Anti-Pinkie Protective Headgear ™

The PAPPH? Oddly enough, "Pap! Fuh!" are noises often associated with being struck by a shovel: impact and reaction.

Sounds like you comrades haven't undergone enough self-induced purging. Have some more on Pinkie!

The conundrum is obvious and compelling and, as always, deeply enhanced -- if not wholly solved -- by vodka.

Surely none of us can argue with that?

It goes something like this: Do you allow yourself, even now, to feel any sort of ongoing, relieved, merciful joy that Barack Obama actually is sitting in the Big Chair in the White House? That this elegant, articulate, Zen-like man whose integrity is rock-solid and whose ideas, while certainly not in perfect alignment with every ultra-lefty vision on the planet (clean coal? Please), are astonishingly ambitious and brave, is leading this nation during one of the worst economic times in its short and paroxysmal history?

Feel those bowels moving yet?

The good news is, the Obamafied bliss is still out there, still swirling, still waiting to be supped like a fine digestif. At any given moment you can, if you so choose, pause in whatever it is you're suffering from and hear that voice and see his visage or perhaps merely hear some pundit say the words "President Obama" out loud, and you can still enjoy that delicious chill, that little jolt that says, "Oh my God, did we really do it? Is that lucid, impeccably centered man really the leader of the free world?"

Just relax, Comrades, and let it all come out . . .

You can, as I recently did, glance up at the screen during Obama's congressional address and see not only a young, composed, African American president speaking to the populace in more thoughtful, articulate language than we've heard in a decade, but also note that he happens to be surrounded by a female Speaker of the House and a female Secretary of State and a smart, funny VP who, refreshingly, is not a sneering warmongering torture fanatic who enjoys sucking the blood from live baby sharks.

AHHHHH!!!

many bitter, unloved Republicans are seething and whining and tearing into every Obama idea they can find, simply because said plans don't do enough to fellate the wealthy and worship oil companies and ignore children.

Hmm . . . and who do you think Mr. Morford would like to fellate?

We have, for the first time in just about forever, an enormously ambitious, confident, risk-taking president so full of grand and even borderline radical ideas they barely fit into a single generation, much less a single speech, and we have him at a time when we need, well, someone exactly like that.

That he just so happens to be tremendously intelligent, progressive, serene as an oak tree and utterly magnetizing? I guess you just call that a bonus.

Anyone ready to scream uncle yet, and beg Pinkie for mercy? Or even for death?

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! Jesus H. Christ, Pinkie, just whack the shit out of me over the head your shovel and put me out--for good. I don't care. But don't do that again! Please, please, please, Pinkie, don't do that again. I promise I won't let Bruno sing "Tiptoe through the Tulips" again for you. I promise that I will shave Our Many Titted Empress' corns.

But please! No more of that!

Have mercy to a fellow comrade!

also note that he happens to be surrounded by a female Speaker of the House and a female Secretary of State and a smart, funny VP

Did Biden miss the speech? Must of got his tie caught in the Xerox machine again. Y'know, that might explain why His Obamaness sounds like a bad reproduction of previous politicians....

On a different note, I may need to dispatch some killer ManChimps to San Francisco and deal with this guy. With writing like that, sales of GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL for purgative purposes might start...er...slipping.

Betinov, I googled that article that Pinkie so horribly set us up with and for which there will be blood spilt.

I find that he is loaded with many charges of god-sanctioned homophobia, until I got to the point that I believed that anyone who wouldn't do him was a homophobe.

Nice to know we have such humble comrades.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:I got explosive diarrhea after drinking Obama's Genuine Snake Oil. My poor illegal housekeeper has been scrubbing the bathroom walls all day now because of this awful, awful gimmick.

Chairman,

I have got just the thing to solve that progressive diarrhea.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Oh come on, 7.62. Copulate with Nansky? That's like Faust making a deal with the devil.

First of all, you'd loose her in a wrinkle in the sheets. Second, considering the work on her face, I bet she has chest hair.

And if you screwed her, considering that she cannot blink, it would be necrophilia.

Do you really think that the sound of her sucking her teeth would let you, uh, perform?

Commissar,

One of our Peoples National Health Care Workers has "Fell Off the Wagon" again. If he cannot get a ACLU lawyer I propose that we take up a collection for our Comrades defense. Clearly he had a right to privacy.

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/2009 ... /302250042

Castrate, I see that you are new here. Are you from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cry_to_Heaven">an Anne Rice novel</a>? I read that in 1982, one of her first efforts, and my breast heaved--hoven? somehow it fits--with the story of castrati. Ah. But I see that I am probably wrong. You are our dear Fidelito, as Sally Quinn would have it, the Made Progressive who has driven a rich Latin American nation into utterly penury.

What a guy.

As far as having sex with corpses I'm of two minds. A man has needs, after all. Is it worse to have sex with corpses than to have sex with women who don't want it? Let's ask Juanita Broderick. Do you suppose Our Many Titted Empress will have an opinion on this?

What about Paula Jones?

But then having sex with cadavers would violate the rights of our necroproxy(tm) voters. You know, the ones who get to vote again and again and again until the Progressives win. I'm told that dear Al Frankenstein Monster has voter appreciation parties in every cemetery in the state.

After all, without multiple votes and dead voters, he's just be another loudmouth on a failed radio network supported by a man who made his money savaging the British pound instead of being a really big and really important US Senator, wouldn't he?

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Anyone ready to scream uncle yet, and beg Pinkie for mercy? Or even for death?

NO NEVER! I continue to denounce you for the horrific things you have written. After drinking 12 FULL BOTTLES of Obama's Snake Oil, not only do I feel the urge to do an internal purging of Stalinistic proportions, but I believe my genes have mutated as well. That may explain the People's Rifle ™ which now is permantly growing out of my left arm, my eerie ability to see clearly into the past, a mustache which exactly resembles Stalin's, and the ability to see through people's clothing at nude beaches. That, and I can't sleep! And the bugs! Bugs under my skin!! AAARRRAAGGHH!!!! Where is Pinkie with her shovel when I need her? Oh sweet, beautiful Commisarkia Pinkie, kill the bugs!

Now the walls are moving! No more! Please merciful Obama, make it go away!

More Snake Oil, that's it. Must drink more Snake Oil. Heheheh. There that's better. See, Comrade Lenin is here to guide me from beyond the grave. He is telling me great and wonderful things. For instance Comrade Stalin assures me that The Horn Blows at Midnight, and the orange dances well. He tells me that when in Moscow, do as the Romans do, and dance in front of the Kremlin in a grass skirt while singing Oh Cananda backward. Perhaps Comrade Lenin is drunk? NO! NEVER! I denounce myself for suggesting Lenin's ghost could be drunk!

Now the ceiling is moving. A cat! Yes, praise be to Marx from whom all knowledge flows! A ceiling cat is looking down upon me! What? Yes! Yes! More Snake Oil! Quickly now! Ahh truly Obama's Snake Oil is a glorious thing!

But the bugs! PINKIE KILL THE BUGS!

Comrade7.62 wrote: IN SHORT, I WOULD RATHER COPULATE WITH NANCY PELOSI THAN HAVE THIS SEARING, EVIL IMAGE BURNED IN MY MIND. BAD PINKIE! NO DONUT! BAD, BAD PINKIE!

Comrade,

Sorry but I got to her first, however, as a good collectivist we shall both equally share the wealth.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: As far as having sex with corpses I'm of two minds. A man has needs, after all. Is it worse to have sex with corpses than to have sex with women who don't want it? Let's ask Juanita Broderick. Do you suppose Our Many Titted Empress will have an opinion on this?

Actually Commissar I had not considered it from that angle, I was thinking about it terms of being "green" and recycling.

Comrade Castrate, I must confess I already have a socialist dream girl. (No pinkie, it's not you. Your Snake Oil induced mustache is not up to my standards)

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Castrate, I see that you are new here. Are you from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cry_to_Heaven">an Anne Rice novel</a>? I read that in 1982, one of her first efforts, and my breast heaved--hoven? somehow it fits--with the story of castrati. Ah. But I see that I am probably wrong. You are our dear Fidelito, as Sally Quinn would have it, the Made Progressive who has driven a rich Latin American nation into utterly penury.

What a guy.

As far as having sex with corpses I'm of two minds. A man has needs, after all. Is it worse to have sex with corpses than to have sex with women who don't want it? Let's ask Juanita Broderick. Do you suppose Our Many Titted Empress will have an opinion on this?

What about Paula Jones?

But then having sex with cadavers would violate the rights of our necroproxy(tm) voters. You know, the ones who get to vote again and again and again until the Progressives win. I'm told that dear Al Frankenstein Monster has voter appreciation parties in every cemetery in the state.

After all, without multiple votes and dead voters, he's just be another loudmouth on a failed radio network supported by a man who made his money savaging the British pound instead of being a really big and really important US Senator, wouldn't he?

Ultimately in a true socialist paradise, there will be no need for sex, as the state will take care of all of our needs. Already with people getting leg tingles and Obamagasms, the evolution to a sexless society is happening.

Comrade7.62 wrote:Comrade Castrate, I must confess I already have a socialist dream girl. (No pinkie, it's not you. Your Snake Oil induced mustache is not up to my standards)

Now that's a lot of wealth to share!

BTW ... WTF is in between her legs just hanging out of her dress?

Comrade7.62 wrote: Ultimately in a true socialist paradise, there will be no need for sex, as the state will take care of all of our needs. Already with people getting leg tingles and Obamagasms, the evolution to a sexless society is happening.

I'm pleased to know that there are other Comrades here equally sick as I am. Until the evolution to a sexless society is complete let's enjoy it while we can.

AbecedariusRex wrote:Apparently His Predominance the HOlY GORE has already field tested Obama Snake Oil^tm and found it an excellent purgative.


thanks to MoonBATTERY on that one.
<br>If you wish a purgative without use of the Obama Snake Oil^tm try reading this article from TIME^tm.

Comrades!

A glorious day! After all these years I have finally been liberated from the propaganda forced on me through parental units and my imperlialist Governmental masters.

I actually thought and your not going to believe this, that all these past years I actually had to (Please no laughing now) that I had to actually EARN a living!

Can you believe it? I even went as far as pay my bills on time and actually griped about paying taxes!!!!!!!

Till a good friend, my unemployed neighbor who bought a house with one of those sub-prime loans, turned me on to Obama's Snake Oil. Now I know why he was always snickering behind my back, whenever he saw me get up early every morning to actually go to work. I never knew I was ENTITLED to a life.

As a new member of the Progressive Community I ask for your famous understanding as to how dumb I was in the past. To prove my honest intentions to become a productive member of the collective, I have done the following steps to lchange from my previous "Loser" status:

I've quit my job.

I have maxed my credit cards.

I've missed three mortgage payments.

I've applied for "Job re-training" so the unemployment benefits will keep on going after they were suppose run out.

I've placed Obama's picture by my bed for inspiration.

My neighbor and I now get together in the morning to watch the other losers get up in the morning and go to work.

I hope now that I've become a total winner all thanks to Obama's Snake Oil ,that you will embrace me into the Comrade fold as a valued contributor.

By the way when does that freebie stimulus check rebate come in the mail? Beer is starting to run out in the fridge.

Snoogie Woogums, congratulations on your liberation from the bourgeois conventions of honor, thrift, and work. True Progressives know that they are an unnecessary burden on the life that you are entitled to.

That's right, entitled. Just by being born you're entitled to what you want, and you're entitled to have other people do it for you.

Actually you're entitled to vote for people who will fuck over other people for you--which is practically the same thing.

Oh. Did I say a naughty word? Well, it's the right one.

Commissar Theocritus

Thank you for the kind words, however you did use a naughty word that I found rather offensive.

Therefore I have filed a lawsuit for pain and suffering and expect a healthy settlement to further my entitlement and new found cushy lifestyle.

Snoogie Woogums, I do apologize. Call off your lawyers. Here's a retraction.

<blockquote>I, Commissar Theocritus, Director of Unanimous Caring, Compassion, Backstabbing, and Impaling for the Common Good(tm) do hereby tender a full and complete apology to Comrade Snoogie Woogums for using the word "work." It will not happen again</blockquote>

Say it ain't so, Theo. Say it ain't so! Being a Made Progressive means you never have to apologize for anything Besides, you used it in a party approved context- talking about the eliminitation of the "W" word (the other W word... Bu$Hitler has been purged).

*BREAK BREAK*

Comrade Woogums, while the party is quite fond of promoting equality and an offensiveness-free environment, we do not have to personally propegate it! Furthermore, accusing Party Members like Commissar Vlad of Thought Crime is indeed a form of Thought Crime itself. Wealth cannot be redistributed from Party Members through lawsuits- who do you think runs the courts?!! I'll let it slide this time since you're new and all, but I'll be watching you. As will Comrade Red Star. Don't be surprised if you hear a *tap tap... BOOOOOOM!!!! MOVE MOVE!! TAKE THEM MEN AND BUGGER THE APPLIANCES!!!!!! EAT THAT HAMSTER!!!* around midnight some night at the rate you're going.

Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov

Oh, Vodkavich, I do thank you for your robust defense of the utter scurrility of a Made Progressive. For being a Progressive means never having to say you're sorry. Thank you, Erik Segal.

But we need to raise up the young Commissars and Commissarkas in the ways of Truth, Power, and Larceny.

Woogums means well but merely needs to know that pay dirt is white males on big corporate boards. Ask Texaco.

He does indeed mean well. He just needs to redirect his attacks against the types you mention rather than party members. It is conservatives that are the problem, not The Party. Byrd or Limbaugh would be good places to start. State governments that do not screen the races of contract competetors before awarding work are another.

HANDS OFF INNER PARTY!

-COV

I have found the children of rich people to be fertile ground. If they moan in guilt over things they had no control over, then it makes them feel good beating themselves in public. And notice the chances for a public self-examination. Nothing is more pleasing to someone born to the purple who would like the attention from the world that he got from his family's servants, and a good way to do that is moral posturing.

Makes them good marks for a shakedown.

Oh, and Betinov--congratulations! You have been belatedly selected for Pinkie's Prestigious Beet of the Week Award!


I plumb forgot about this, for which I'd apologize except it's all Bush's fault. It's just that I've been so consumed with patriotic thoughts of my patriotic duty to raise awareness of how much I care about the need to have Bush brought to justice for all his crimes. And that's when I'm not thinking of how I wish every time Obama comes out of the bathroom in the morning, I could just sneak in there, close my eyes and inhale, breathing deeply in and out, until I finally reach that sweet high of Obamafied bliss and pass out.

Oh, and the bumper sticker for your mother--"My Child is Beet of the Week at The People's Cube.com"--is on back order pending release of funds from the stimulus package. You do get the gift card for Pup's Pleasure Palace, but I'd use that as soon as possible if I were you--word is it isn't just the clients over there going belly up, in a manner of speaking. I'm sure the situation will rectify itself once he benefits from some of the--ahem--stimulus.

Pinkie, you have given me an idea for raising some dough. That is, until the stimulus package comes through of course. The Progressive People's Chef, which was formerly the White House Chef, shall henceforth feed His O'liness a diet of cabbage, tater tots fried in lard, and refried beans.

We can sell this as L'Aire du Toilette du Pape. You know how people are death on Froggie names, and it will give a new meaning to, "Like stink on shit."

But that's a <i>good</i> thing.

Commissar Theocritus!

My humble apologies!

My new found progressive lifestyle had me all giddy that I thought everybody was suppose to give me entitlements! I should have realized that means only those who are actually dumb enough to 'work' for a living, not fellow party members who are to busy laying the seeds for our glorious revolutionary lifestyle educating the masses to be bothered with the afore mentioned four letter word!

I assure you this apology is sincere and has nothing to do with the kind words given to me by Commissar Obamissar V. His 'midnight invitation' has nothing to do with this apology rest assured.

I have informed my lawyer at the good firm Slippe, Falle & Sioux that all lawsuits filed in my behalf shall only be directed at Neo-cons and Corporate pigs.

Thank you for your guidance on a new party member who really doesn't want see any hamsters harmed in his progressive education.

Thank you, Snoogie Woogums. Should you find your lawyers, a good team I know, to be overworked, you might try mine. Douie, Cheatham and Howe. They are associated with Nastie, Poore, Brootish and Shorte. They successfully sued the Weather Service for not posting a warning saying, "Looking at the sun can cause blindness."

Comrade Woogums-

You've learned an important lesson in the nature of The Party, and in the use of doublespeak. Congratulations! I'm rather fond of your legal team, btw...

-COV

My new found progressive lifestyle had me all giddy that I thought everybody was suppose to give me entitlements! I should have realized that means only those who are actually dumb enough to 'work' for a living, not fellow party members who are to busy laying the seeds for our glorious revolutionary lifestyle educating the masses to be bothered with the afore mentioned four letter word!

Think nothing of it, Snoogie-old-bean. The whole point of re-education is to break the shackles of convention and replace them with the new shackles of submission. It is understandable, seeing that the entitlements do indeed flow from The Party, to think that The Party does in fact create the wealth that fuels the entitlement. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are merely the agency of redistribution. We create no wealth; we take it from those who have cheated and stolen it from the rest of society with their hard work, risk-taking, and wisdom, and give it to those who, through absolutely no fault of their own, have pissed on all the educational opportunities offered them, quit every job they didn't get fired from "because it was hard," and have the self-respect of the common garden slug. We of course take the credit for providing the entitlement, as this is the best way to make sure the recipient votes for us as long as we continue the practice of holding elections.

Oh, and Betinov--congratulations! You have been belatedly selected for Pinkie's Prestigious Beet of the Week Award!

Pinkie, I shall treasure this beet as I have treasured few things in my life. I shall take it home, bathe it with rare ungulants (I've got a big tub), then lovingly slice it into wafer thin portions, which I will dry in the sun. Once they have reached the proper consistency, I will carefully pierce each leathery slice and link them together with fine silver wire to construct a shirt of scale armor. This I will wear daily, with the treasured beet protecting my heart from the spears and barbs of the evil Rethuglicans' hate. Thank you fair lady.

Folks, I am here to tell you that you DO NOT want to OD on this stuff. Sure it's a great trip, but coming down is horrible. Is there a recommended serving size that will not totally f a comrade up?

Is there a recommended serving size that will not totally f a comrade up?

I'm afraid that is the one unavoidable and universal side effect of GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL, 7.62.

Do you serve it neat or on the rocks?

Commissar Theocritus, Commisssar Obamissar V, Ivan Betinov,

Thank you all for your understanding and guidance. As a new Comrade ,I can already tell that with your help and guidance and vastly superior progressive knowledge that I will develop into a complete leech and drain on Society.

Commissar Theocritus my lawyer at Slippe, Falle & Sioux is in fact overworked and your referral to Douie, Cheatham and Howe is most appreciated. However at this time he is involved in my suit agaisn't Anheuser-Busch (Corporate Pigs) who is currently engaging in false avdvertising to the masses, that would make any propaganda minister proud.

They have been yammering on for years now about Bud Light. Well I just happened to weigh one full can of regular Budweiser and a full can of Bud Light.

Guess what? They weigh EXACTLY the same. There is no difference!

So I sued, because after I get my free stimulus check and stock up on my beer supply, I want to be able to say that my beer came from a 'reputable' company not one engaged in fooling the masses, and keeping the workers down through false advertising.

I'm fighting for the masses now (and free beer). By the way I hear the stimulus package comes with a George Forman grill any truth to that ?

Do you serve it neat or on the rocks?

Well, in matters of economics, it starts out looking neat, but then really quick it winds up on the rocks.

Snoogs, try putting a baby mouse in an empty bottle, then feeding it until it grows up. Fill the bottle with beer and recap it. call the brewery and demand free beer for life.

Ivan Betinov wrote:

Is there a recommended serving size that will not totally f a comrade up?

I'm afraid that is the one unavoidable and universal side effect of GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL, 7.62.

So I did not have to drink a full case of the stuff to get the walls to move, bugs to crawl under my skin, and ceiling cat to stare down at me and watch my actions? Oh well, the upside is that I still can't get "it" down. All this tingle, loin stirring stuff that Obama inspires in the masses is good for something after all!

7.62, do be careful talking about His O'liness making your loins tingle. One Bruno in the world is quite enough. I know. And even Bruno looked at His O'liness and asked, "Theocritus, is it true that he ain't run nothing but his mouth?"

In light of this I would suggest that the best way to get your rocks off would be to pour BOSO on them. BOSO has the appearance of the finest and oiliest gin, like Bombay Sapphire, but the taste of 3-in-1 Oil, which is fitting, for it is a workers' drink.

Comrades!

I have discovered a horrible side effect with this stuff. I was taking my regular beauty nap ( really un-needed of course as I'm so cute as it is but what the hey it couldn't hurt) this afternoon. All of the sudden I found myself dreaming of Nancy Pelosi and I ended up with a private 'stimulus' package that caused me to wake up and wait for about five minutes as the 'stimulus' subsided.

I won't go into the gory details.

I do like Nan's on a professional level as she is going to give free stuff that I'm entitled to just because I was born on the planet, and have some other poor slob pay for it all (Whats not to like with that deal).

Though, on a private level, I do like to drink beer but she's way past the 12 pack level and more like a case before due consideration would ever have been taken in that regard.

Is there a cure for this unfortunate side effect or does my freebies, heaven forbid actually do come with a pretty high price after all?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:7.62, do be careful talking about His O'liness making your loins tingle. One Bruno in the world is quite enough. I know. And even Bruno looked at His O'liness and asked, "Theocritus, is it true that he ain't run nothing but his mouth?"

In light of this I would suggest that the best way to get your rocks off would be to pour BOSO on them. BOSO has the appearance of the finest and oiliest gin, like Bombay Sapphire, but the taste of 3-in-1 Oil, which is fitting, for it is a workers' drink.

Theocritus, normally I do not feel this way, but under the heady influence of BOSO all manner of strange things have been going on. I may have to lay off this stuff, and go back to my usual Gosling's Black Seal Rum (Yes, yes, I denounce myself for favoring rum over vodka)

Since this is in camera, I'll let you in on a secret. Comradette (and President) Nansky has been giving <i>my</i> loins a tingle too. I know that she's 110% skank but when you consider her mind--she's like a really bad love doll which comes alive, animated by the spirit of the devil.

Who could resist that?

Evidently not Snoogie. I do hope that we won't have to fight over Nansky. I wonder if she would consider polyandry?

After all, she's slipping the nation a trillion dollars of pork and someone should slip her some pork.

Comrades...
Our dear leader's Snake oil is a wondrous product. You can apply it to anything and it will "change" it. I applied it to hair and my hair went from a straight, salt and pepper color.....to a frizzy fro',...and I am not even black. I applied it to squeaky door and the hinge went from a screech to a metallic sound that sounds like "change" everytime you open it.
I put some in my afternoon tea. I had heard that it was good for headaches. When I drank it....I immediately quit my job and signed up for welfare...which I got easily, once I showed them the spiffy bottle of oil.
I was driving through a nice neighborhood.....because I suddenly had an urge to case it to burglarize a rich house (I never had that urge before until I drank a sip of Obama's Snake Oil). I accidentally dropped the bottle of oil on the cement and broke it. The neighborhood instantly deteriorated and the people there looked out their windows to see transmissions and whole motors hanging from trees in their front yards.
Their cars immediately loss their tires and were up on blocks. The people...at first were shocked..but suddenly they did not care.
This oil is powerful stuff.

sovietskayakaputnik,

I'm so glad to hear of the efficacy of BOSO. I thought that BOSO was BS because I've been having Bruno take a bath in BOSO ever since it was rolled out. And you know what?

No change. He's still self-obsessed, parasitical, noisy, larcenous and self-righteous. I wonder what happened?

Oh. Never mind.

Comrade Commissar,

MythBusters showed that alcohol, taken rectally, has a greater and faster effect at smaller doses than when drunk. Perhaps if you treat Bruno in the same fashion?

Comrade Commissar Theocritus.....
Perhaps you have not checked the expiration date on your bottle of Obama oil. I have a new bottle...(at least I had a new bottle before I dropped it) and it's expiration date was November...2010. Older bottles had an expiration date of november...2008.
People have told me that a bottle of Obama Snake oil is good for about 2 years and then it starts to emulsify into it's main components....human feces and Obama urine....also a little 3 in one oil.
In two years it loses it's effectiveness.

Vodkavich, have you ever heard about the man who could, by controlling his abdominal muscles, drink with his ass? He has nothing on Bruno. Who by the way was shooting it out his mouth onto my furniture. Which made fine brocades as slippery as cheap vinyl covered in J-Lube.

----

Thank you, kaputnick, for your suggestion. I'll look on the bottle for a use-by date. Now I keep it in the freezer, as I do my yeast and the odd body part, hoping to delay its staleness by retarding its important activity.

On this theory we might say that this congress will never go out of session for there has been utterly no sign of reflective lucubration, only crass calculation, political cronyism, posturing, and blatant thievery.

Which is not nearly as important as say keeping yeast alive.

Ivan Betinov wrote:

I have but one question from the Socialist masses that have posted before me. Just where from the Snake does a good Socialist get the oil? I wish to know before I buy this seemingly wonderful product that must heel everything as the One has promised to do for all of us.

Now, now, Komrade Gunny, let's not get too inquisitive here. We don't have time to get into the minute details of the ingredients; it is important that you get a bottle and take a dose right away. If you don't, the whole world will die. It's as simple as that. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]Without GENUINE [/HIGHLIGHT][HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL dams will collapse, bridges will rust, highways will crumble[/HIGHLIGHT], sick children will be sold to research labs for biological experiments, and the seas will continue to rise. The ingredients of GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL are delicate and will lose all potency, not to mention credibility, if exposed to direct public scrutiny. And besides, you don't have much of a choice.

Ahhh...yes, comrades. Unlimited shovel-ready jobs, almost instantly! Although I shall refrain from using GENUINE OBAMA BRAND SNAKE OIL(tm) until the FDA approves it....hmmmmm......

OH WHAT THE HELL!

Send me a case to try Betinov---with an endorsement by a world-class chef such as moi', this product will be on back-order before you know it. In fact, I dare say, you will need to expand your snake breeding facilities to milk enough venom oil for all the "foodies" who are my legions of fans!

Does it have the government's FDA approval stamp yet? If not, do not overlook this detail. It could cost you sales, and we all know that the proceeds of this fantastical product will help fill the coffers of the Inner Circle....errr.....I mean for the Children(tm), now isn't that correct, Betinov? Anything to help the Children(tm), of course!

Che, do not be worried about FDA approval for BOSO. Because with BarackCare there will be <i>no</i> new medical advances in the world. Which means that the FDA will have no use.

Of course no federal agency will be disbanded for that is contrary to our principles. So the FDA will be repurposed to sending out nagging notes to parents of overweight children. And to putting warnings on everything that has seen a peanut. And to nagging people about, oh, just about everything. Can't let that budget go, you know, even if, after BC, there will be no new medicine.

Send me a case to try Betinov---with an endorsement by a world-class chef such as moi', this product will be on back-order before you know it. In fact, I dare say, you will need to expand your snake breeding facilities to milk enough venom oil for all the "foodies" who are my legions of fans!

The case is on the way, along with a special recipe from His Obamaness Hisself (Bang the drum slowly, flaut the flute gleefully, and sound the Ulian pipes a single day late, and all MUST bow down) for a Snake-oil vinegrette that goes great with arugula.

Betinov, I think that you have an idea. So fixated are the Great and the Righteous on every emanation of His O'liness that I detect a great profit here.

Obama Vinaigrette
3 parts fair-trade third, hot pressing olive oil
1 part sour Mogen David wine
1 packet of corn dog mustard stolen from 7-Eleven
1 week of Obama's toe jam

We can give this to the woman who uses thoughts of His O'liness and Her Resentment lying in their beds as a soporific.

And I suppose that your Toe Jam Vinaigrette will be served with arugula, Theo?

I'm thinking dandelions or gypsum weed. Nettles? Yes. Nettles.

You know, when tumbleweeds are young and alive they're a rather pretty color of purplish-green with red stripes, which would go well with the toe-jam vinaigrette.

But whatever you use it on, it will ennoble it, being made from the toe jam of His O'liness.

Kind and Fearless Leader, A base of basic lawn clippings, is always a nice touch, at the hemlock restaurants, we use the term "Organic" they eat it up. The other night a quick thinking prole when we ran out of spinach greens, he ran in to the vacant lot next door and ripped branches off a small sumac tree. We had a “Praise O'Liness from the peoples republic of Kalifornia” group in the restaurant, Sumac Leaves, PTC, and BOSO. They loved it, but damaged the table by gnawing on it.

In other news I was recently denounced, (I am truly excited my first denouncement) I request you Kind leader act as my counsel.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalities INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith
NEW (Recently Denounced)!!!!!

Yes, calling it "organic" certainly does work. And you could also call People's Tasty Crème organic too, if its producers had been feed only organic foods. Soylent Green qualifies.

The lawn clippings is a good thing too--if we could get White House lawn clippings with the droppings of the First Dog, that would only enrich the experience.

Of course, Red Star, of course I'll be glad to act as your counsel. Now I saw this next in the highest sense of comradely love: even though you may have a counsel who esteems you much, as I do, bear in mind that in the Party, a Made Progressive is one who, er...let's get right to it.

The highest Progressives are the nastiest, meanest, rankest, most double-dealing sons of bitches on earth. Think Michael Moore. Ask Pupovich if he's managed to get my heel print off his back yet.

But do not worry, Red Star, about your denunciation. I am quite sure that your goons highly trained troopers will show their true worth. When you said that you were training them I thought, "Theocritus, there is someone who can be of great use to you the Collective."

And I have taken a special interest in your training exercises. For I know that they will be well repaid.

By the way, as Mae West said, "Keep a diary when you're young. When you are old it'll keep you."

Remember those who denounce you.

Thank you kind and Generious Leader.

Did you realize one of my Goons Highly trained troopers has seen the future! Yes the brakes in Meows Zil failed, I am sure due to rust and salt corrosion. and the one that denunced me......I understand his toilet exploded, Something about Gas build up...(and a little C-4).

Yes I am enjoying this Denouncement!!!



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalities INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith

Remind me, Red Star, not to turn my back on you.

I'm <i>so</i> proud! Even now I'm choking back a little tear of pride...

Yes kind and generous leader. To think when we first met, fluffy the cat and I were drinking malt liquor beside a garbage dumpster, you came over to us and said, “Come peel potatoes and chop beets at Rancho de Rio Grande, But take a shower first.”

Yes those kind words and your tutelage have made me what I am today. You taught me proper impaling techniques, all the way down to offering some hemlock tea prior to “Show Trials” Playing looped Michael Moore and Gorical Movies to prisoners at very loud volume to soften even the most stubborn Proles to confess to thought crimes.

Further, that there is always a need for courtesy, resulting in my Goons Highly Trained Troopers, saying thank you after beating the daylights out of a prole. As well as shouting “May we come in? Prior to knocking some ones door off the hinges.

Yes I have been lucky to have had the opportunities. Che has helped with cooking and Poisoning, Vodkavich, has been instrumental in the used of explosives, and proper car washing instructions….

Yes I am truly a blessed Commissar, Sniff Sniff ……God Bless us all everyone!!!!

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalities INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith

Red Star, on this Friday we can all be thankful for our efforts. Thanks to your thuggish scientific methods of beating the shit persuading people to see the Progressive side, and to Che's gastronomic feats with hemlock and PTC, I can truthfully say that an unprecedented number of people have been traduced, shamed, and made to feel less than human, and all for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm).

Pinkie, thanks for the reference to the Obamagush - nothing like a lusty love letter to His Slinkiness to inspire this:

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Oh, all right, Rex, if we're going to have puke jokes, here's the first, and the best:

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I love puking all over the help.

Meow, dear Meow. That's what's so endearing about you. When you come to the Rancho you <i>only</i> puke over things. It's your youth and sensitivity.

Now I, at my advanced age, have taken master classes from Our Many Titted Empress and I'm <i>way</i> past puking on things.

I shit on things. That makes me fifth in line for the Presidency. First, The Holy O, second Joe Bidet, third Nansky, fourth Dear Dingy, and then little old <i>moi</i>. For after Harry doesn't it go to the Cabinet in order of the creation of the post? And what is a cabinet but a water closet which is made for shitting?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Now I, at my advanced age, have taken master classes from Our Many Titted Empress and I'm way past puking on things.

Yes, only the elite of the elites can shit on people -- either that or become a card-carrying member of the super exclusive media cabal (or circle jerk, take your pick) known only as JournoList.

Someday I too will shit on people, Theocritus -- starting with Ezra Klein.

Meow, you are first among shitters--your modesty is legendary. Usually before something disappears.

I take your point about Mr. Klein

Bluebeard wrote:Similarly, the $634 billion set aside for health reform doesn't contribute to the deficit at all. It's entirely offset by capping itemized deductions for the rich and squeezing private insurers in Medicare and a couple other policies. The cap and trade proposal is actually revenue-positive.

Blluebeard and David Copperfield and Peter Pan, all rolled into one.

I personally love the cap of charitable deductions at 28% for those making over $250K. Here at the Rancho that's tall cotton, or greasewood, but in Houston or NYC, that's not that much. Only His O'liness' supreme virtue is such that we could be assured that he has a better use for our charitable impulses than we do.

PBUH! His charities trump ours. But we are only his lowly followers.


Of all the vile and sickening things that that O'llow Man has done, stealing 72% of one's charity is the most arrogant and nasty. And for him to think that it will no have an impact on giving is fatuous.

Evil and stupid. But the moonbat professors weave a web of rubbish, saying it won't matter because of...28% alternative minimum tax...they'll do it anyway...in short, people are nothing more than carbon atoms and water and they're fucking constructs because we hate the idea of individual responsibility.

I wish I could make them into Soylent Green, feed them to al Qaeda, and feed <i>them</i> to pigs.

Congrats, Comrades! This is now featured on Moonbattery.

Comrades,

Since the 1970s are returning, I thought I'd return to them in my own way and what did I find? Why, a firm called Uranus produced a substance called Brown 25 suitable for "reeming, sheeting, ...., and the nutritional value of beef stew." In short, it would seem someone's already marketed the People's Tasty Kreem. I think some legal pressure and forced TARP funds could remedy this situation.

Here's the early '70s ad:

Little did I know when I saw <i>The Groove Tube</i> in the 70s that there would be product placement for People's Tasty Crème.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Little did I know when I saw <i>The Groove Tube</i> in the 70s that there would be product placement for People's Tasty Crème.

I haven't thought of the Groove Tube in YEARS how funny was that? eheh almost as funny as Catholic High School Girls In Trouble from Kentucky Fried Movie

Got this in the mail...

Priced at 50 cents? What about 500 billion?

Now just hold on a pocket-pickin' minute here! That ain't GENUINE Obama Brand Snake Oil! As my esteem colleague Comrade Doctor Theocritus has pointed out, this is obviously a cheap knockoff! Genuine Obama Brand Snake Oilwould never, I repeat never cost a measly fifty cents!

YEEE-HAW! That's right friends and neighbors, it's your ole pal Crazy Ivan Betinov at the Stalin Storehouse, here to give you the straight skinny on this here sad attempt by Big Snake Oil to discredit the GENUINE article with their dog and pony show. Why, you can see that the huckster and his shill are simply wearing masks. They've obviously been hired by Big Snake Oil to take over some poor vicitmized Democratic Congressman's really and truly fair and open Town Hall Meeting. Well now, I may be dumb enough to stick my tongue in a light socket, but even I know that you can't have a Democratic Party Town Hall Meeting without a solid phalanx of SEIU goons adoring supporters making sure that the right questions get asked! And Friends--and you are my friends--I don't see a single T-Shirt or neatly silk-screened sign among that motly crowd clustered about that fake Snake Oil salesman!

Well, Im not gonna stand for it! Only Genuine Obama Brand Snake Oilcan cure our national ills, and this stuff ain't the right stuff, no-sir-ee-barack! I call on ACORN, SEIU, the AFL-CIO, MIC, KEY, and MOU-SE to get the completely spontaneous grass roots GENUINE Obama Brand Snake Oil supporters onto their spontaneously generated busses with their absolutely original and not-at-all identical protest signs and put a stop to this RIGHT NOW!

Ivan, I so agree. I saw Comradette Nansky today on the news. She was using the word "Astro-turf" and she didn't mean what they put Cindy Sheehan on to keep her from grazing.

It's obvious to me that we cannot have an honest discourse without the discourse-enablers from the various unions of the oppressed. What would happen if we didn't have them?

The protesters are dressed entirely too well. To make them valid protestors, rough them up. That way they'll look like a proper Canadian rent-a-mob. The protestors look like they've been plucked from tending the yard and the house and their children. Rough them up enough to make them forget those bourgeois conceits.

The only sure cure is Dear Barry's Snake Oil. After all, even if he is an empty suit, puffed up by Bill Ayers and Rahm Emanuel like one of those air-stockings in front of used-car dealers, he's still our best hope for complete and utter control.

This thread and the lead picture are still getting attention. This morning I received a request from Portland to use the picture as an illustration on Examiner.com and now it's there -

It's about trust, stupid
by Allan Erickson

Perhaps it's time Maksim created a vector graphic version of it for a larger poster to be used at Tea Parties.

Red Square wrote:Perhaps it's time Maksim created a vector graphic version of it for a larger poster to be used at Tea Parties.

Yes I should and will, although I think the 787 bil. is out of date. Does anyone have a more accurate number?

What comes after Trillion?

2 trillion