Holiday Greeting From The National Lawyers Guild & ACLU

In the true spirit of Christmas collectivism we decided to lift off this traditional holiday greeting that for a few years was being shared equally by the multitudes of Internet users, courtesy of an unknown progressive member of the National Lawyers Guild or the ACLU or both. To be a true progressive you have to believe that no idea can be called good, bad, new, old, or stolen, since all ideas reside inside our common collective consciousness which belongs to no one in particular and to everybody at once - an entity also known as The People™. So if you already saw this greeting before, go ahead and refresh your memory; if you're seeing it for the first time - enjoy!

Dear Person
(hereinafter called the wishee):

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make this country great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, age, physical ability, religious faith or lack thereof, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or itself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.