Liberal Oxymorons

With caregivers like these, who needs undertakers?

Examples of cognitive dissonance and behavior internalization in liberal doublethink:

• John Edwards: I'm rich but I care about the poor
• Michael Moore: I'm fat but I care about the hungry
• Harry Reid: I've a big head but I care about people with small heads
• Hillary Clinton: I'm a witch but I care about the fairies
• Chuck Schumer: I'm a genius but I care about dumb people
• John Kerry: I'm well-groomed but I care about the flyover slobs
• Al Gore: I'm full of hot air but I care about icecaps
• Denis Kucinich: I'm a loser but I'm going to take care of the winners
• Ted Kennedy: I'm a good swimmer but I've always cared about those who can't swim

UPDATE:

NOW AVAILABLE ON A T-SHIRT IN TWO VERSIONS:


 

John Kerry: I'm a traitorous, back stabbing SOB, and a disgrace to the uniform I used to wear, but I support our troops (just like I supported them in 'Nam.)
 

I don't even know how to put gas in my car but I want to dictate the country's energy policy.
 

Here is my stab at this. You all know I'm no good at People's Competitions.

I’m a loud mouth anti-war activist who thinks the troops are a bunch of warmongering, psychopath baby-killers, but I support the troops and am also for a woman’s right to choose.

I’m a journalist who thinks that the press and Republicans should stay out of the bedroom and should keep politics out of other people’s private lives (President Clinton in particular), but I also think we should have Sen. David Vitter on the front page news from now until election day and should ask him to resign.

I think Christians are a bunch of knuckle-dragging do-gooders stuck on age old superstitions and should be silenced and exit the political stage, but also I think they should come out and vote Democrat since we are morally-superior with our entitlement programs for the poor.

I’m a progressive Democrat who speaks truth to power, but I think that those who question the government and don’t trust the government are stupid close-minded fascist who won’t submit to the benevolence of an all-powerful centralized government.

I’m a progressive Democrat who agrees with Howard Zinn that nationalism is the root of all evil, but I also support the Iraqi nationalists who are fighting the tyrannical American occupiers.

I’m a progressive atheist who votes Democrat and believes “under God” should be stripped from the pledge of allegiance, our currency and our halls of political power, but also I think we should have footbaths for Muslim students on a college campus.

I’m a Democrat who believes imperialism is wrong and immoral, but also I supported the former Soviet Union’s quest to dominate the entire world.

I’m a liberal who believes that everyone is entitled to their first amendment rights, but also I wholly support speech codes on college campuses across America.

I’m a tolerant progressive Democrat but I think the Republicans are a bunch of stupid apes living in the stone-age and should be silenced and should be ridiculed for their opinions and beliefs.

I’m a journalist who believes that the media should be dominated by progressive leaning Democrats and should not be hindered by the federal government, but also I want the Fairness Doctrine to level the playing field on talk radio.

I’m a trial-lawyer who thinks corporations make obscene profits and should be regulated, but I also think tort reform and regulating obscene pay-outs for trial-lawyers is wrong.
 

Arnie:
I played in many movies and video games where my character wielded thousands of different types of guns of varying caliber, but once I gain control of the state I ban all .50 rifles from the public unless they have a special permit and pay lots of $$$ to the government.

And then I pass a law that requires all videogames with a rating of "M" to only be purchased and played by those 18 years old or over even though the ESRB rates them suitable for those aged 17 and up.

And then I whine and complain about how violent videogames ruin children and turn them into maniacal gun wielding psychopaths that will kill anyone who they see, despite me being in a videogame where you get to shoot police officers in a church.





 

Arnie sold his soul to the Kennedy Klan...err... clan* once he took office. I'm sure Uncle Teddy whispers in his ear how a REAL Republican should be. I guess he had to sell his soul or else he wouldn't get anymore nookie from the Missus???

Remember: People don't kill people, only guns and violent video games kill people!

(I get carded more buying a video game than I do a pack of cigs or alcohol, Betty.)

Before you know it, Betty, we will have the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Video Games “Open up! We heard you bought a video game! We have a warrant from Janet Reno instructing us to use deadly force if you don’t come out with the video games! Alright boys, fire bomb the place and edit the footage! We can't have the American people watch another tank level the place! It's for the children! FOR THE CHILDREN!”
 

Comrades, do you not see the genius of the Progressive way? Since actions are not correlated with consequences then anything is possible.

Guns shoot people of their own accord. Poisons pour themselves into people's throats. Hillary didn't eat that cheeseburger; it flew on her ass and invited along all its friends and family.

Video games corrupt merely by being on the shelf.

And let's never forget the real reason for Progressive hostility to Christianity. Although no Christian myself for some years I still understand its virtues and I also understand the truth that a man can have only one master. Moral relativism is the rejection of any master outside one's own tender conscience du jour.

And so we are again back to All Animals Are Equal but Some Are More Equal than Others. For the true Progressive stands alone in the world, under the stars, the sole arbiter of his fate, deciding the fate of others by the revelations, not divine, but personal. And if you have assumed the mantle of the divine, then there is no reason that you cannot commit acts of God, which used to be called storms, blight and pestilence, but are now purges and re-education camps.

And how wonderful of the Progressives, to manage to one-up the Divine who managed these things without help. The Progressive takes things from people he will kill, using what they made, through the agency of goon squads.

Every time I think of our Red Chinese Brethren or Jolly Danny Ortega billing the families of people who had to be sanctioned for the costs of the bullets used in their re-education camps, I realize that even the IRS has much to learn.
 

Hell, the Democrats are extremely fluent in purges, they do have a site called "Media Matters" which accuses "conservative bias" emitting from their own operatives in the media. There is nothing better than to watch the Dems form a circle and shoot one another. Ah, now that is good, clean American fun for the whole family.

But what is really cooking my goose right now (in regards to Democrat tomfoolery) is the MSM jumping on Vitter for frequenting whore houses while telling me - for so many, many years - that the frequenting of whore houses is "Okay" and that we should "keep private lives out of the media" all because their boy Clinton got caught with a porky intern under his desk.

Once again it is "All Animals Are Equal but Some Are More Equal than Others". This just highlights not only Vitter's hypocrisy (which, hopefully, he will pay for in the next election), but also the MSM's hypocrisy and application of the Party's beloved double-standard free pass for all Democrats.
 

Ugh... I'm watching Her Excellency preaching on the Senate floor about our date certain surrender date. My Darwin she looks old and tired. If anyone is lurking TPC this wee early morning, please turn to C-SPAN now and tell me what the hell Her Excellency is wearing. Looks to me like a Mao suit with a frilly scarf stapled to it.
 

She does look old and tired; the spells letting her walk on two legs are wearing off. But do you not know the beauty of the Mao suit? When Bill Gates rolled out some incarnation of the Blue Screen of Death, he and some of the Redmond Politburo appeared on the stage capering about in Mao suits--crimson ones at that. If they only had miters I would have looked for white smoke rising over the Vatican.

Someone in, I think, The Weekly Standard thinks that Our Many Titted Empress is too smart to surrender, but has to make noises to pacify the moonbats and trolls. I am the last to impute anything reputable to her--I think that she ate her litters and only Chelsea got away--but it just barely possible--just--that she knows that the Islamists cannot be dealt with just as cancer cannot be dealt with. She is, in her way, worse than a troll because she uses these people who obviously insane. She knows what she's doing and is whoring our freedom for her power.

The moonbats are deranged with hatred and resentment, which is their own personal hell. I know something about that and it couldn't happen to nicer people. And she knows how to use them. Which is like training puppies to be attack pit bulls.
 

Al Gore: I'm a concerned environmentalist who is gaining massive fame for warning people that we'd better work to "save the Earth, or else", but I served an endangered fish at my daughter's wedding.

Quote:

After Live Earth produced the carbon emissions of a small country in order to discourage carbon emissions, Gore has moved onto eating endangered species to encourage their preservation, I guess. Don't ask questions. He's a visionary:

   Gore and his guests at the weekend ceremony dined on Chilean sea bass - arguably one of the world's most threatened fish species.

   Also known as Patagonian toothfish, the species is under pressure from illegal, unregulated and unreported fishing activities in the Southern Ocean, jeopardising the sustainability of remaining stocks.

   The species is currently managed by the Commission for the Conservation of Antarctic Living Marine Resources, the body which introduced a catch and trade documentation scheme as an attempt to tackle illegal poaching of this species.

The story comes from the Humane Society
http://www.townhall.com/blog/g/9339c7d2 ... 76418c41ed
 

I believe that today's People's Comment Award should go to the good Commissar for this.  Thank you Comrade

Commissar Theocritus

She does look old and tired; the spells letting her walk on two legs are wearing off. But do you not know the beauty of the Mao suit? When Bill Gates rolled out some incarnation of the Blue Screen of Death, he and some of the Redmond Politburo appeared on the stage capering about in Mao suits--crimson ones at that. If they only had miters I would have looked for white smoke rising over the Vatican.
 

Rosie O'Donnell: I want guns confiscated from everyone. Except my bodyguards who protect me and my kids.
------------------------------------------

Isn't there a pasture somewhere that she should be grazing in?

MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
 

Rosie has put in for another five children, which will make one per nipple.
 

More food for her.  She doesn't go grocery shopping, she adopts children then eats them.  Then replaces them with cardboard cut-outs like we did with Non-Person K
 

Yes, and she wraps them in a rug before she eats them. It's a two-fur.
 

Speaking of two-fur's:

It's towards the end when Kratos mentions it.  I would react the same way as she did.  Ignore all the filler, it's kind of weird.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zCf7unhoDdM
 

And I'd react the same. And all this time I thought that I was weird. Not even in the inner recesses of my mind, even in a joke, has anything that strange bubbled to the surface. Believe it or not, I'm not all that strange.

Yeah. I tell myself that in my decrepitude, and wonder if all those good times some years ago were not merely fantasies. They say that the longest-lived cells in the body are brain cells so it's entirely possible that the cells which remembered the BEQ are merely memories of the cells that experienced the BEQ and it all happened at Roswell, NM instead of El Paso, Texas.
 

Generic Democratic Congressional Leader:  "I'm against the war and I hate the war and i've hated all wars.  I burned my draft card to ensure I wouldn't have any chance to know what war was like.  But God damn it, I'm gonna be sure Bush and his generals have to follow OUR RULES on the ground when it comes to running the war in Iraq.   and we'll be sure to let our allies in Al Q--er, our constituents know ahead of time when they're coming home."
 

Babs Streisand, Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, robert Redford, Martin Sheen:"We are talented, patriotic, Democrats who care more about both the world and the environment than the pions watching our movies do.  As such, we demand they ride corn-a-hol based motorscooters, live on 1-2 acres of gently tilled lands with their families as they helpe each other return this country to a renewable microbiatic food source.  In the meantime, of course, we will continue to enjoy foie gras, veal, or whatever we choose as we fly in Airbuses from Hollywood to Cannes and back and forth, and as our underpaid illegal alien staffs drive us from premiere to premiere.  Won't it be lovely to have different classes again....plebe?"
 

MICROSOFT WORKS!!!!!!!!!


Sorry, that's not a liberal person living an "oxymoronical" lifestyle....that's just my favorite oxymoron.
 

News Flash: Magic Pixie Juice II! If you are a progressive, take Magic Pixie Juice II! It makes you think that if you vote for elitists you can be one too. That if you let Algore eat Chilean sea bass while telling us to save the world that you'll be able to eat Chilean sea bass on Laurie David's Gulfstream instead of what will really happen: you'll have 95% of your salary taken to be used to fund preachments to you.
 

95%!? Since when did we become generous!? If anything, Commissar Theocritus, we should be helping ourselves to 99% of whatever the proles "work" for. It is fair, mind you... and we Democrats know everything about fairness.
 

Yes, Meow, we do for we define fairness. Think of one of my heros: Danny Ortega, who billed the families of the people he shot for the bullets he used to shoot them. Now that's fair to David Rockefeller whose bank lent Nicaragua money, which was stolen by Ortega and the Sandinistas, good progressives all, because how could David Rockefeller expect to get more of the money he lent, which was stolen, put back in his bank by the Sandinistas who then qualify for American Express red cards or black cards?

But about that 95%; I am mindful of Kruschev who said that if you skin someone, you need to leave enough so there will be something to grow back.

Folks, I'm bored. When's the last time that you have a child raid? You know, and old-fashioned kidnapping of children of troublesome, non-progressive people? It's been such a long time since I sent a wet package back to some parent. And how they carry on; that kid can hear perfectly well with only one pinna; and if it's a girl, what's the problem? Just grow the hair long.

I figure if I do that enough my stock in contact-lens companies will rise.
 

Commissar Theocritus

... you'll have 95% of your salary taken to be used to fund preachments to you.

95% tax rates are nothing but a sop to the reactionary corporate interests. Strong communism demands 100% tax rates!
 

I must share this with all of my new comrades, I live in the gulag of Atlanta, Ga and I was witness to a march by a group..."United States Social Forum" This is the web-site,

https://www.ussf2007.org/

This is an article that I have decided to post on this fine site, I am risking my life by posting this here for my actions may result in my disappearance.  I just hope that this is not my first and last post.

http://www.progressive.org/mag_wxld062907

The article is from "The Progressive,” I fear that I have put you all in danger by posting this information, I must go…Oh God!!  An affordable housing group from Miami is shouting slogans in Spanish at me; they are throwing puppets in the shape of doves at me…Help me!!
 

Welcome to the Cube Sea-Bass.
Are you a Chilean Sea-Bass by chance?
 

Comrade Sea-Bass! Welcome to the revolution! Good reading. Thanks. Love this cover:



PS, comrade, your avatar needs to be 80x80 or smaller. I think it can actually be a little larger than that but not humungous. I understand your revolutionary zeal but you must exercise Party discipline. Without Party discipline civilization will collapse and we will find ourselves living like barbarian capitalist pigs in our own filth.
 

And welcome, Sea Bass. I'm a relative newcomer myself, but I find others here of similar bent--red of tooth and claw, with the firm belief of what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine if I can get it and if I can get it you didn't nail it down well enough. This was, by the way, the motto, or something like it, of Leland Stanford, who gave us the bastion of progressive thought university, while he was building the transcontinental railroad.

Nothing like a robber baron to warm my heart. And how nice of him to die before we came into mortal combat.

Welcome. We are all progressives here, since words like communist, socialist, and totalitarian have all acquired a certain je ne sais quoi owing to those horrible Konservatives, who must be purged.
 

Welcome Sea-Bass.  I too hope you will stay and join in on our collective effort to bring about world peace through the Iron Fist of Hillary.  

P.S.  I hear that flamethrowers work really well against puppets.
 

If I find myself unbearably offended by a puppet, I put it on Mr. Reno's portion of the Hildo Hydra 7.3. That'll teach it. Remember Alien?
 

I find puppets to be strangely arousing. Does anyone else share my same progressive feelings???
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

I find puppets to be strangely arousing. Does anyone else share my same progressive feelings???
You are indeed our canary in the mine shaft of progressivism, Chairman!

I sense a new social-justice cause brewing, in defense of Puppet-Americans.

STOP DEHUMANIZING PUPPETS!
PUPPETS ARE PEOPLE TOO!
PUPPETS FOR CONGRESS! (err... wasn't that the theme of the last elections, comrades?)
 

Speaking of which...


 

.

(Pic from raquelwalker.com)

Hugo's favorite puppet!
 

Ah. And how appropriate, Meow. But I just wonder if they take turns. Parson Carter jetting around the world, making deals for the US, in violation of law, with Somali war lords, bitching and moaning about the evils of a nation that threw him out of the White House on his ass, skidding through the front door, and the man who is setting up a true totalitarian state in South America.

All we need is Ramsey Clark to complete the picture. Perhaps Howard Zinn can midwife the marriage.
 

Red Square

Speaking of which...




I always suspected Comrade Howie was into fisting ReTHUGlikans.

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
 

I'd hate to be Eeyore....
 

Just who screamed? Was Dean getting a bum rap while the donkey was getting a rap in the bum?

Can't resist. Sorry.
 

Commissar Theocritus

News Flash: Magic Pixie Juice II! If you are a progressive, take Magic Pixie Juice II! It makes you think that if you vote for elitists you can be one too. That if you let Algore eat Chilean sea bass while telling us to save the world that you'll be able to eat Chilean sea bass on Laurie David's Gulfstream instead of what will really happen: you'll have 95% of your salary taken to be used to fund preachments to you.

And only one square of Sheryl Crowe's toilet paper to faire your toilette with.
 

Commissar Theocritus

But about that 95%; I am mindful of Kruschev who said that if you skin someone, you need to leave enough so there will be something to grow back.



(Paging through her Big Book of Righteous and Just Socialist Leaders) Kruschev, Kruschev, Kruschev.Comerade Theocritus, who was Kruschev? Does he have anything to do with these pages with big squares cut out between Stalin and Brezhnev?  And these other pictures of Ho, Mao, and Castro, where it looks like Ho, Mao and Castro are responding to internal stimuli?
 

Which they'll use to dab the blood of where their eyes once were. The nerve of these people, looking at me. They say a cat can look at a king, and that's okay for the cat is an animal. An elitist animal, it's true for it doesn't really give a damn what you think, but it's an animal. And as such takes precedence over people, especially the White Oppressor Class of Straight Males.

All the troubles on earth are caused by WOCOSMs. Krakatoa? A WOCOSM belched and Gaia had to teach him a lesson. The extinction of the dinosaurs? That's because a WOCOSM stepped on a gecko once, although if that gecko had been selling insurance and the WOCOSM had stuffed it up a caveman's ass with a hundredweight of TNT he would be spared 100 readings of the Progressive Catechism, Earth in My Grasp by the Goracle. Even the Goracle hates that goddamned gecko.

And don't give me that stuff about dinosaurs being extinct before the WOCOSMs came about; qa WOCOSM invented time travel just to extinguish the dinosaurs.

And as proof of it, someone using a treadmill went back in time and invented the word "boredom."

So it used to be if people looked at me funny, it was to the wall. Now if they just look at me they won't again.

I shine. I am radiant. I am Theocritus, out of whose ass the beneficence of the entire universe shines, and Whose wisdom surpasseth all understanding.

And I've got your family hostage.
 

Tsarevna, you have hit on a convenient truth™. Those people are un-people. They're retroactive abortions. By fiat they exist no more and if you think that they did, you'd better have an escape ready or a bigger gun.

Next I'm going to refine un-people to partial un-people. Our Many Titted Empress has paid me a great deal, hell she's given me Rhode Island to store my Mumbai Non Conflict Sapphire empties in, if I can develop for her an un-ass. She tells me that if she eats any more burgoo of Christian babies it will take a seam for her dresses, and already they're made on carpet looms.
 

Hmmm.... retroactive choice? Sounds interesting. *Idea*! After the revolution, I think it would be in our best interest to call the gulags a "retroactive planned parenthood facility". Yes, it rolls off the tongue much better than the classic "death camp" which we will be constructing for all of those who disagree with our progressive policies for Amerika.
 

Hate-speech as defined by our comrades at Daily Kos.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Hmmm.... retroactive choice? Sounds interesting. *Idea*! After the revolution, I think it would be in our best interest to call the gulags a "retroactive planned parenthood facility". Yes, it rolls off the tongue much better than the classic "death camp" which we will be constructing for all of those who disagree with our progressive policies for Amerika.

Meow,

I want to suggest a "retroactive planned parenthood facility" in Richmond, PCVA.  Thanks to the People's Legislature of the PCVA and Bill 3202 which they passed in Feb 2007, we in the PCVA now will have to pay anywhere from $300 (minimum) to $3,000 (maximum) for traffic fines, and judges have no power to reduce the fines. I want People's Gov. Comrade Tim Kaine and Delegate Dave Albo (R-Fairtax) to be it's first "guests".

http://www.petitiononline.com/va3202/

--
Blokhayev
 

That's BS, Zam, although I have never gotten a ticket before (except for an expired inspection sticker, twice come to think of it, knock on wood).

Here is my fav. bit from that petition you linked to:

That nice little petition Zam linked to

4. The bill's sponsor, Del. David Albo (R- 42nd District) is a partner in a law firm that specializes in traffic court cases and stands to benefit personally from this legislation. This type of conflict of interest should not be tolerated.

Hmmm, no surprise there! Del. Albo is a trial-lawyer and is trying to profit off our misery (I'm shocked this guy is a Repub and not some Commiecrat!!). Ugh... what is it with our growing RINO problem in our fair Commonwealth!? It's no wonder Jim Webb squeaked into office when we have the RPV dropping the ball on so many issues and all of these RINOs running around! Speaking of the RPV, they really, really need to do something with their website... also, who is Chairman now??? Didn't Ed leave to go back to work in D.C?

<ponders>
 

Meow,

The People's Commonwealth of Virginia is really making The Party™ very proud. Imagine that! A way to extort MORE money out of your proles and it's LEGAL!!!!. Even before bill 3202 was passed, VA was already a virtual police state!!! Anything the VA State Police wanted, the legislature GAVE it to them. Now, we very close to becoming the only "perfect" socialist state in the United Socialist States.

Every single member of the legislature (except that turd, Albo) is screaming for Comrade Gov. Kaine to call them back into a special session so they can repeal it.  But Comrade Gov. says he won't. He says it can wait until the legislature reconvenes in January. I hope and pray a good communist like Comrade Gov. Kaine does not get recalled over this!

--
B. S. Blokhayev
 

Shhh!!! Keep your voice down, Comrade Zam.... they might be listening in on us and may report us to His Supreme Awesomeness, Governor Tim Kaine. <looks around nervously> Ha..Ha.. yeah, those damn Rethugs are doing everything they can to stop progress...ha...ha.......ha? <looks around nervously again> I don't think they heard us. We are safe......... for now!
 

Citizens, you make me pine for Virginia. Here in Texas we have nothing so progressive. Here the speed limits, in West Texas, are 80 MPH. And here I'm not a pervert but would be considered so if people thought that I wanted gun control. Now that's perverted. If someone breaks into your house, you may shoot and kill without the slightest fear of a problem; one cop, and this was before the concealed-carry law, gave a lesson on guns to women in Monahans, and said, "If you see someone in your house at night, shoot. If he's on the front porch, drag him inside the house if you can. If you're not strong enough, we'll help you. Then go into hysterics. You'll be okay."

Now, comrades, does that sound like the true socialist paradise of Virginia? How I envy you.

...Bruno..Do we have anything on Albo? Gotta get a piece of that action...
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Hate-speech as defined by our comrades at Daily Kos.

Here's a good post from that link. The poster, keeplaughing, knows communism and socialism are nothing to fear. "Commies" and "socialists" are just smear words deserving of being written in quotes. "Commie" and "socialist" are more hate speech right-wingers use to confuse the issues and scare people into voting repug.

Daily Kos - Hate Speech

None of these people (1+ / 0-)
would ever vote for any Democrat anyway.  They're afraid of "commies" and "socialists."

by keeplaughing on Sat Jul 21, 2007 at 05:42:30 PM PDT
[ Parent ]


Obviously we should outlaw the words "Commie" and "socialist" and  when referring to totalitarian Stalinists we should only use the proper term: Democrat.


Comrade General Secretary of the Democratic Party with young Karl Marx Treatment Center volunteer Margaret.
 

Check your dictionary, Comrade Otis: they are synonyms. There are references to "blood-stained butchers," "re-education camps," "psychiatric hospitals," "detention centers," and "ethnic cleansing."

Oh. Sorry. I'm reading the galley the 2008 People's Heritage Dictionary. Der Volkwerdbuch.
 

I see Comrade Keeplaughing got a favorable rating for his post as any good Communist should! Keep up the good work, Comrade Keeplaughing... THE PARTY IS WATCHING YOU!
 

How fortunate for keeplaughing that he has that outlet for his progressive feelings. Imagine the horrors of living in a world when you did not have the loving embrace of people who understood your need to lie, steal, cheat, and debase what other people have died for.

How sad their world must have been between the fall of the Berlin Wall, when the People's Dream of Justice and Freedom seemed to fall into dust and the rise of the Daily Kos, where progressives can gather to look forward to good times, where what they have is theirs and what others have is theirs too, and where being a progressive means never having to say that you're sorry for wasted lives and money and freedom.
 

I think the whole thing is just silly, Theocritus. Rethugs should understand that we progressives are not willing to fight the War on Poverty UNLESS the government is in the hands of good Communist to coerce us of our money. Charity!? HA! Charity is for superstitious ChristofascistJoos trying to do "good works" or whatever else they call it. Government coercion on the other hand is what we progressives need in order to help our fellow travelers. Sure, I could donate more to the government... but I refuse to! I refuse to "donate" when I could have a strong centralized government to forcibly take it from me and others! If I have to be coerced, then by golly, YOU SHOULD BE TOO, RETHUG SCUM! JACK THEM TAXES UP TO THE SKY GODDESS! JACK EM' UP, I SAY!
 

Meow, this is in camera. A great stump speech, I know, but if all are taxed equally, then how can I furnish your wing of Rancho del Rio Grande de Teocrito for you? You know your tastes, and they ain't cheap. Mine either. And Zamp, well, there's one for you. That boy can go through Eagle Rare like a Kennedy through Chivas. And the power bills when Our Many Titted Empress brings Mr. Reno down to play. I had to have three-phase laid in from Del Rio just for the Hildo Hydra 7.1.

By all means, let's tax everyone, especially all the Progressives who are real Progressives. All progressives are created equal, but some are more progressive than others, and you and I, and Zamp, and Red, and Otis, well, we're as progressive as all get-out. And I do miss SMO. Now she's a progressive's progressive.
 

Commissar Theocritus

And Zamp, well, there's one for you. That boy can go through Eagle Rare like a Kennedy through Chivas.


Let's not forget my favorite vodka.....  Chopin!!!!  (http://www.chopinvodka.com/)

Quote:

By all means, let's tax everyone, especially all the Progressives who are real Progressives. All progressives are created equal, but some are more progressive than others, and you and I, and Zamp, and Red, and Otis, well, we're as progressive as all get-out. And I do miss SMO. Now she's a progressive's progressive.

Once again, we have a situation which highlights that the late Comrade George Orwell was not only a genius, but a true prophet!

--
Blokhayev
 

Zampolit Blokhayev

Let's not forget my favorite vodka.....  Chopin!!!!  (http://www.chopinvodka.com/)
Thanks for the excellent link to the potato vodka website. This product can surely invigorate and inspire the collective as strongly as waltzes and sonatas  written by Fryderyk Chopin himself, improving the righteousness, the tunnel vision, and the proletarian zeal in our class struggle.

No doubt it is what the The Fryderyk Chopin Society has been drinking since 1934 which has helped them in "disseminating knowledge of Fryderyk Chopin and promoting his works."



And let's not forget what helped the Polish comrades to come up with an even more progressive version of the Cube!



It's the potato vodka, of course!
 

Pass the Chopin, comrades, I need a tall drink after hearing from one of my subordinates (who will be liquidated at once for knowing too much about this latest failure).

FAILURE ALERT:DKos breaks Party Code of falsely "Supportin' the Troops" by posting our TRUE feelings about the military! Commissars dispatched to delete the evidence! More at 11!
 

Comrades, let me suggest that solving the New Revised People's Cube be used as the entire math portion of the SAT. In this fashion we can eliminate the bother of teachers having to take time out from indoctrination for boring things like math, and thus surrender AmeriKKKan engineering to the Chinese who have a 4000-year history of autocracy. And lovin' it. And if there are no more AmeriKKKan engineers, it will make our ultimate triumph all the easier.

Damn. Where's Charlie Tree when you need him? Hill? Haven't heard from you lately. I hope that you and Janet and Babs Mikulski and Rosie didn't short-circuit Washington again playing around.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

Pass the Chopin, comrades, I need a tall drink after hearing from one of my subordinates (who will be liquidated at once for knowing too much about this latest failure).

FAILURE ALERT:DKos breaks Party Code of falsely "Supportin' the Troops" by posting our TRUE feelings about the military! Commissars dispatched to delete the evidence! More at 11!

Meow,

Thankfully this has been contained by DKos et al. Great Lenin's Ghost! Can you imagine the damage this would have done if Fox News had gotten a hold of this? Never the less, how the hell did classified Democratic Party information like this get out? I suspect a counter-revolutionary intelligence operative has penetrated our puppets ... er ... I mean ... fellow travelers at the Democratic Party. We should convene an Inquisition and call Comrade Howard Dean in. He has some explaining to do. Also we must demonstrate that The Party™ does not tolerate a breach of security. Comrade Dean should be disciplined by The Party™.

--
Blokhayev
 

Comrades, it struck me. Is there an epidemic of telling the truth? Anyone weak enough to even be tempted to tell the truth must be purged. Why even here, in camera, I worry about spies. Before I sleep I do a bug sweep of the house to make sure that if I tell the truth in my sleep it is not overheard.

And since I'm a good progressive, you should not believe me.
 

Did anyone watch the Party debate last night?? Was I the only one coerced to endure it??
 

No, if I want to see a circle jerk I'll turn on a DVD.
 

Eewww....

And, no.  I didn't watch the debate, although I wanted to.  Who do you think won?
 

The people who didn't watch it.
 

You missed some great moments, Theo. John Edwards made a catty comment about Hill's jacket and Biden called some YouTuber mental since he owned an assault rifle. Mike Gravel disclosed to us all that Obama is accepting money from a foreign bank and Obama countered Gravel stating that he helped pass the legislation that allowed Mike to know that he accepts money from a foreign bank. It was classic Dem insanity and I enjoyed every side splitting moment of it. I laughed, I screamed, I laughed some more... and... eventually... I popped some Tums so I could stomach the full dose of progressive nonsense.

Who won last night, Betty? Repubs... that's who won.
 

Pelosi: 'Yes, I care about the minorities and the poor. No, I won't raise the minimum wage for the Marshall Islands or American Samoa.'
 

Sorry the link didn't work.
 

Sounds like the typical Democrat hate filled catfight for power.  Sounds like I missed a lot more than I thought I would.  What did you think about the YouTube viewer questions?  Did they actually take the questions seriously, or was it just another scheme to make it look like they care what we think while they plan their future palaces with taxpayer money?
 

Here is a link to the complete list of questions and answers, Betty. Questions #38, #39 and #15 were interesting (the Gravel/Obama exchange was good too but I'm unsure what number it was).
 

Um. I see that I did miss something. Bear in mind, Comrades, that I've been ill lately and my digestion, although doing very well, is not always up to seeing 200 proof nastiness on the hoof, posturing as something worth leading me instead of being hunted down and shot and buried in an unmarked grave.

Which I would then pee on.
 

My favorite is Kucinich's answer to Question 24.

Kucinich

"We need to move away from reliance on oil, and coal, and towards reliance on wind and solar ... we take an entirely new approach to organize the entire country around sustainability, around conservation. We don't have to have our snowmen melting and the planet shouldn't be melting either."

From a business perspective I like Kucinich! His administration would put huge subsidizes in our hands and help us crush our competition. He wants to "organize the entire country around sustainability, around conservation," which in practice means the most politically vocal political groups will be able to do whatever they want in the name of conservation and sustainability. Who defines "conservation" and "sustainability"? The most politically powerful. And that will be business. And why do we need to take a free country and gut it's freedoms and organize it around environmentalism? Because snowmen on claymation world are melting! Ha, ha, ha! You've heard of a strawman argument - meet the snowman argument, a new take on the strawman. Good stuff. Very creative.
 

I hope that People of Snow™ realize just how important their vote will be in '08 and come out in overwhelming numbers to vote the straight Party ticket. Global Warming, by far, is an issue and a threat greater than "terrorism" not only to us, but also for People of Snow™ the world over. We mustn't let them melt away because of this country's ignorance and thirst for "economic prosperity" or this crap about "higher standard of living". WE MUST STOP CAPITALISM, NOW!

We do it for The Children™, but now we also do it for People of Snow™.
 

Before I sign off here I want to say one thing: GEORGE BUSH HATES SNOW PEOPLE!
 

George Bush hates everyone. George Bush is responsible for the cold winters when people freeze. George Bush is responsible for the high costs of heating oil to keep people from freezing. George Bush is responsible when the snow that freezes people melts. George Bush is responsible for the pimple on my ass.

Halliburton, I like your reasoning. You of course have found the Achilles' heel of reason: when everything is politicized, reason fails utterly. And so let's politicize everything. Snow. Straw. The wind. The sun. The dark. The night. There's always someone's money to spend in ways that we want, and thank the Good Lenin for that. I'd have to actually have to work, you know.
 

Of course Global Warming is a Republican conspiracy to disenfranchise the Snow-Americans. Just think how few of them survives the summer months when the Global Warming is at its height - and therefore can't vote in the November elections. Doesn't your heart bleed when you think of the merciless genocide of Snow-Americans committed every summer by the Bush administration's energy policies?

Countless Snow-Americans (Snowmen, Snowwomyn, Snowgays, Snowlesbians, and Snowtranssexuals as well as Snow-Blacks, Snow-Latinos, and Native-Snowpeople) suffering all over Amerikkka, denied their constitutional right to stay frozen throughout the summer and having problems procreating and taking care of their young. Maybe there's a germ of a Cube story in it.

Did I mention that Snow-Americans are also getting fatter? And what about the Snowpeople who happen to be Muslim?

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL SNOW-AMERICANS!

And here's a direct transmission from Laika:


 

WARNING: graphic image of capitalist exploitation!




Look at them, comrades! Just look at them! Snow-Americans everywhere are withering away to nothing all because of George Bush and his American Empire! If we don't act now many more will melt away! Do you want their snow on your hands!? Huh!? Do ya!? I think not.... vote Democrat, NOW!
 

Ah, someone told me there's a lot of white stuff. Where's the white stuff? Don't let it blow away, goddamn it, gimme a straw.

Mary Jo, where's my Scotch? You know you can't blow if I don't have blow!

Ah, that damned girdle, can't find my pecker. Chris, help me with this, won't you? Chris!

Damnit, don't let that stuff get away!
 

Use a rolled up hundred dollar bill, Ted. That's what I usually do. Besides, who wants to use a straw?? Using a straw is so... so... prole. :-(