The Socialist Brain of a Liberal Democrat

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As promised in the previous post, Republicanism Linked To Brain Disorder, we have prepared a composite sketch of a healthy Socialist brain.

Naturally it took twice as much time to map it because the brain of a progressive, open-minded Democrat is always changing - as opposed to the rigid and bigoted Republican brain.

Now in our store: ... -I10448608


See the definition of Liberalism in the People's Dictionary:


A normal state of a healthy person whose brain developed under the caring guidance of the progressive establishment.

As opposed to the rigid and bigoted Republican / Capitalist / Conservative brain, a Liberal / Socialist / Democrat brain is hard to map because it undergoes perpetual reshuffling of its centers and synapses. Generally it can be characterized by a compassionate concern for not taxing the rich enough, combined with generosity in spending other people's money.

A liberal brain is known to have a well-developed "blame-America" synapse, a benign "Smarter Than Thou" tumor, a Global Warming Panic Center, the Entitlement Synapse, Moral Relativity Gray Area, and a "P.C. Lobe" responsible for speech codes, multiculturalism, racial quotas, and alternative lifestyles. The underdeveloped areas of a Liberal Brain usually include those that handle common sense, personal responsibility, sense of humor, patriotism, and work ethics.

The eternal motivational force that keeps a liberal going is typically a daily doze of Starbucks coffee combined with the dialectical struggle of the opposites - the feeling of being a victim of oppression and the feeling of guilt for oppressing the others at the same time.

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My embedded G-think microchip just downloaded the following message:

Behold the pinnacle of cerebral evolution that is the Socialist Brain! ...^!%## Raise taxes on the capitalist exploiters; bled the class enemy dry... *(%&+= ...Oh my mythological deity, global warming is causing an ice age; we're doomed... </%$* ...Bush lied, Bush spied, people died and cried... Help, Che, help!

Sorry about that glitch. At any rate, my "American" free radical has found a hyphened word to attach to and it's "anti-".

60's Progressive
Hey maaan?
Where's the gratuituous sex, drugs, rock-n-roll brain lobes maaan?
Wm.J.C. didn't use it all up yet.

Dr. Leonid Fuku
<b>A medical triumph</b> of which even Lysenko would be proud! Not since reading Lamarck and the original Greek phrenology texts have I been so enamoured of a scientific achievement!

Certainly our research can not end with this crude diagram! We must complete the multi-cultural arm of the study, in which ethnic considerations are properly taken into consideration. For instance, certain studies have shown that particular victim groups have a much larger victim lobe, which eradicates the guilt lobe. In particular, transgendered American Indians have no guilt lobes of any sort, and enormous victim lobes as well as an enormous entitlement hemisphere. The NIH will most certainly begin funding our research again once Hillary is in charge.

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I was expecting a diagram that looked more like a black hole that not even light could escape, but instead projected stupid concentrate out of it.

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Dear Dr. Fuku -

Your scientific insight has prompted me to review our earlier scientific discovery and make a groundbreaking connection between the two. I'm talking about our definition of Moral Authority in the People's Glossary. Specifically, people with the most developed Victim Gland apparently also are the ones with the highest moral authority.
...the highest degree of Moral Authority... belongs to Fatima Jones, a homeless female homosexual Pygmy, an HIV positive crack whore of Muslim faith, mentally traumatized by a sexually abusive Catholic priest, and is now serving a life sentence for stealing a motorized shopping cart at Wall-Mart.
Practical implications of the correlation between the Victim Gland and the Moral Authority is that we can now use precise scientific measurements to appoint political, corporate, and other leaders in our progressive society based on the size of their Victim Gland. I have seen the future, comrades! Progressive science has just opened a way to abandon the old-fashioned "democratic" elections with their faulty machines and ballot recounts. Leaders of the future must be appointed by People's Doctors, such as, Dr. Fuku who knows a Victim Gland when he sees it. According to this method, the US president would be not Bush and not even Kerry, but Fatima Jones, a homeless female homosexual Pygmy, an HIV positive crack whore of Muslim faith... (see above).

And after all this time, I thought the socialist brain was a product of sniffing too much glue and getting a hollow noggin. Now I know that they are born this way and "dont know any better". I am also further enlightened as to why they use that excuse for their collective perspective on life, love and the revolution!

Che In Hell
Hmmm...this brain seems to be incomplete. Where is the "Gay Cowboy" lobe of the brain?


Che Guevara
Burning in Hell

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I hope their phrenologists get paid by the bump...

As the Commissar of Education, I shall make sure that all of this vital health information is published in the Medical and Psychology textbooks that are being published at this time. Thank you for your contribution! The People will most certainly benefit out of it.

Updated textbooks,
Vladimir Ivanov
Marxton, District of Commissars

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How about the Kennedy Lust tumor.... we must all aspire to be like a Kennedy.

Missing the glory days of camelot,
Chairman Meow.

All you missed was the neural connection to its feminine side.

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Red Square wrote:Dear Dr. Fuku -

Your scientific insight has prompted me to review our earlier scientific discovery and make a groundbreaking connection between the two. I'm talking about our definition of Moral Authority in the People's Glossary. Specifically, people with the most developed Victim Gland apparently also are the ones with the highest moral authority.

Since I read your words I've given this quite a bit of thought. I don't think you need to have the largest Victim Gland to have the highest moral authority and thus, in consequence, be the most qualified to be a political leader. The scientific community needs to be consulted, certainly - but shouldn't the formula for calculating Highest Victim Status be determined by the proper Party committee? Many factors need to be considered. This is very serious business. Factors such as media exposure and the will of the Party as expressed through Left Wing commentators (like all the pundents that've told everyone to regard Cindy Sheehan as the only person with moral authority on many issues because of her victim status) need to be weighed and considered as well. Such determinations can't be left in the hands of only one discipline. I respect Dr Fuku as much as everyone in the Party respects him but such important determinations demand a committee of Party experts from many fields. Committees of experts should always be the guiding light of the Party.

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Study finds left-wing brain, right-wing brain

By Denise Gellene, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
September 10, 2007

LA TImes wrote:Exploring the neurobiology of politics, scientists have found that liberals tolerate ambiguity and conflict better than conservatives because of how their brains work.

In a simple experiment reported todayin the journal Nature Neuroscience, scientists at New York University and UCLA show that political orientation is related to differences in how the brain processes information.

Previous psychological studies have found that conservatives tend to be more structured and persistent in their judgments whereas liberals are more open to new experiences. The latest study found those traits are not confined to political situations but also influence everyday decisions.

The results show "there are two cognitive styles -- a liberal style and a conservative style," said UCLA neurologist Dr. Marco Iacoboni, who was not connected to the latest research.

Participants were college students whose politics ranged from "very liberal" to "very conservative." They were instructed to tap a keyboard when an M appeared on a computer monitor and to refrain from tapping when they saw a W.

M appeared four times more frequently than W, conditioning participants to press a key in knee-jerk fashion whenever they saw a letter.

Each participant was wired to an electroencephalograph that recorded activity in the anterior cingulate cortex, the part of the brain that detects conflicts between a habitual tendency (pressing a key) and a more appropriate response (not pressing the key). Liberals had more brain activity and made fewer mistakes than conservatives when they saw a W, researchers said. Liberals and conservatives were equally accurate in recognizing M.

Researchers got the same results when they repeated the experiment in reverse, asking another set of participants to tap when a W appeared.

Frank J. Sulloway, a researcher at UC Berkeley's Institute of Personality and Social Research who was not connected to the study, said the results "provided an elegant demonstration that individual differences on a conservative-liberal dimension are strongly related to brain activity."

Analyzing the data, Sulloway said liberals were 4.9 times as likely as conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts, and 2.2 times as likely to score in the top half of the distribution for accuracy.

Sulloway said the results could explain why President Bush demonstrated a single-minded commitment to the Iraq war and why some people perceived Sen. John F. Kerry, the liberal Massachusetts Democrat who opposed Bush in the 2004 presidential race, as a "flip-flopper" for changing his mind about the conflict.

Based on the results, he said, liberals could be expected to more readily accept new social, scientific or religious ideas.

"There is ample data from the history of science showing that social and political liberals indeed do tend to support major revolutions in science," said Sulloway, who has written about the history of science and has studied behavioral differences between conservatives and liberals.

Lead author David Amodio, an assistant professor of psychology at New York University, cautioned that the study looked at a narrow range of human behavior and that it would be a mistake to conclude that one political orientation was better. The tendency of conservatives to block distracting information could be a good thing depending on the situation, he said.

Political orientation, he noted, occurs along a spectrum, and positions on specific issues, such as taxes, are influenced by many factors, including education and wealth. Some liberals oppose higher taxes and some conservatives favor abortion rights.

Still, he acknowledged that a meeting of the minds between conservatives and liberals looked difficult given the study results.

"Does this mean liberals and conservatives are never going to agree?" Amodio asked. "Maybe it suggests one reason why they tend not to get along."

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Brothers and sisters of the Great Revolution we have found another useful idiot:

Disturbed anti-war protester can't find soldier, kills civilian with axe instead

In Dutch: 'He hates soldiers, and says that the army kills people, so it would be legitimate if he were also to kill someone...'

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - A U.S. citizen has confessed to using an axe to kill a Dutch student after failing to find a soldier to attack, his lawyer said Tuesday.

The suspect, Carlos Hartmann, 41, of Tecumseh, Mich., has confessed to the Sept. 8 killing on a train platform in the southern city of Roosendaal, defence lawyer Peter Gremmen said.

Gremmen said Hartmann wanted to punish the Netherlands for its support of the war in Iraq.

Hartmann appeared before a judge Tuesday and was ordered held for another two weeks for investigation.

"He hates soldiers, and says that the army kills people, so it would be legitimate if he were also to kill someone . . . from the American military - or from its NATO allies," Gremmen said in a telephone interview.

When he failed to find a soldier at the Roosendaal train station, "he got such a crazy, disturbed idea that he killed a civilian," Gremmen said.

Hartmann did not attempt to escape and was arrested shortly after the killing.

Dutch prosecutors confirmed that the suspect had confessed but did not identify him or his victim, in keeping with Dutch practice.

Under the Dutch legal system, Hartmann was not required to enter a plea Tuesday.

Prosecution spokeswoman Martine Pilaar said her office was taken aback by the defence lawyer's willingness to disclose details of his case.

But Gremmen said he was only confirming details published by the local newspaper BN/De Stem. The paper's source was not named, and police declined to comment.

"I was also surprised when I saw the paper; I thought, this must be coming from the investigation," the lawyer said.

Gremmen said Hartmann has lived in the Netherlands since 2002, supporting himself with English editing work for a Japanese company, which he could do by computer, and that he had no fixed address.

He said Hartmann had consented to undergo psychological testing, and was now "terribly sorry for his deed."

The victim, identified as Thijs Geers, was waiting for a train and had no connection with the suspect or the military. Online condolence registers in the Netherlands were flooded with messages of sympathy for him and his family.

BN/De Stem quoted a witness who asked to remain anonymous as describing Hartmann as striking the victim in the back of the head with the axe. It also quoted an unidentified family member from the United States as saying Hartmann has suffered from emotional problems since his early 20s.

"It's a sad story," Gremmen said. "But I'm glad he's admitted what he's done and that he's sorry for it."

The Canadian Press, 2007

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Study finds left-wing brain, right-wing brain

It's amazing how much they could extrapolate from the simple tapping of the M and W keys. They've taken the first rule from the Style Book For Liberal Editorials:

1.) To confuse your political opponents always argue with the non sequitur. Make a statement and back up that statement with something that doesn't have anything to do with it. eg: "Liberals tolerate ambiguity and conflict better than conservatives, are more open to new experiences, and more readily accept new social, scientific or religious ideas as proved by a scientific study conducted by scientists that measured the brainwave activity of liberals and conservatives as they tapped the letters M and W."

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It would be equally valid to take that study and the conclusions in the article that've been extrapolated by the scientists, use it as part of a new study, and conclude that the study as a whole proves that Liberals do not know a logical fallacy when they see it. Actually, that goes for the entire modern-day Democratic party.

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I would have sworn I had all the "W" keys removed.
This study wasn't conducted in the White House was it?

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Just as al-Gore predicted:

al-Gore, People's Prophet and IT Guy wrote:Remember: frequent computer crashes happen because people press the W key too much. Avoid it at all costs! That key had been removed from all White House keyboards on my secret orders! Every time you press a W key George W Bush knows what you're thinking... And don't listen to static in your phone line - you never know who may be playing with your brain. A lot of folks who I know did that wound up voting for W. So there.

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Minnesota Star Tribune links to this thread:

Patricia Lopez at Star Tribune of Minneapolis, MN wrote:The sense of humor cell's connected to the work ethic molecule
May 30th, 2008 – 1:10 PM by Patricia Lopez

They may favor early morning prayer breakfasts over late night lampshade parties, but that doesn't mean Minnesota Republicans have no sense of humor.

A group that could describe itself as the Republican wing of the Republican party, the Conservative Conscience Coalition, was circulating a pamphlet this morning that included a full-color display map titled: the Socialist Brain of a Liberal Democrat. Check it out here [link to this thread - R.S.].

Among the highlights (or lowlights, depending on your political persuasion): a broccoli stem where the brain stem should be (promotes a vegan diet) and a hypothalamus bloated by its guilt for history. The map notes that the original spinal cord was bred out of the species after WWII.

Wonder what kind of Republican brain map Dems might come up with?

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...And she got it wrong in her headline. The Sense of Humor Cell is embedded in the Smarter Than Thou Tumor and is not connected to the Work Ethic Molecule.

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This chart just appeared in the British Telegraph. They used an older version from Pajamas Media though, and didn't provide a link. But the image has a Cube stamp.

Lifetime cure for Lefties
Telegraph View: Scientists have discovered a gene that is linked to Left-wing behaviour.

Scientists have given mankind many blessings, but the discovery of the gene for Left-wing behaviour must be foremost among them. For now there is a diagnosis, there can be a cure. Just think of it – a quick screening of the unborn infant, a mild course of gene therapy, and hey presto! The disease can be eradicated within a generation.

Perhaps we are getting a little ahead of ourselves. But even if science falls short of an outright cure, it should still be possible to ameliorate the symptoms. The gene does not automatically make the carrier a Lefty; rather, it triggers the adolescent brain's reward mechanism in the presence of novel experiences and viewpoints. The treatment is simple: lock teenage sufferers in a drab room, furnished with the works of Hayek and Friedman. True, their social skills will be somewhat stunted. But the benefits will last a lifetime. ... fties.html

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Comrade Square,

There is no collective processing complex visible, and there must be a large Marx infatuation zone, next to the dialectical pass through zone.

There might need to be a copy of the other side of the brain so all the heretofor unknown areas could be collectively identified.This is only half a brain does it go with half fast?

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One can assume from this study one of the groups has brain waves and the other does not.

Guessing both is only half right.

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Notice how in the comments someone said "Nobody can claim ownership that I know of, and I've seen variations of it. I think it is a group project that evolved over time into its present form. People's Cube is given credit."

It was indeed an evolving group project, but it was the People's Cube group project that I initiated. The main contributors were Laika and especially Professor Palimpsest, with some later additions from Will Beria.

Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard to give a proper attribution, especially that Google makes it so easy. I guess the answer is in the word "folklore" and the mentality surrounding it. Once a piece becomes a folklore item, attributing it to a particular living person reduces its power and diminishes its legendary aura.

Who can object to the ownership of the People™?


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A Brain By, For, and of The People™. What could be finer... now please dispense all brains to your local Party approved organ depository.

The liberal brain drawn above is fairly accurate. The people's liberal brain is drawn to scale and the brain shown is the actual size of the average liberal-brain. The party heartily approves of the size because it equal to the output of original thinking that the party discourages. The smaller brain and eventually, smaller cranium makes people more compact and pliable. There will be more room and more food availabe for the leading proliteriate.
If you have noticed, most liberal party members already sport the smaller head and thinner neck of latest style of party member. Look at the dear leader himself. He too has a small head, sloped forehead, large ears (for hearing the voice of the true leadership) and the pencil-like neck of the new socialist man.
A smaller brain means a smaller head. A smaller head means a thinner neck needed to hold it up. A thinner neck means less food eaten and less blood feeding the smaller brain. It is a win-win situation for party leadership.

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This just in, life imitates The Peoples Cube once again:

Liberals just born that way, scientists say...

Researchers at the University of California-San Diego say Ignatieff and other liberals may, in fact, have been liberals at birth, that their liberalism was baked into their DNA.

In the first study of its kind, a four-person team led by geneticist James Fowler argues the presence of a specific kind of gene — a dopamine receptor known as DRD4-7R — combined with a social environment where an individual is exposed to multiple points of view, particularly during adolescence, “is significantly associated with liberal political ideology.”

The study was published Wednesday in The Journal of Politics, a peer-reviewed quarterly published for the U.S.-based Southern Political Science Association.

The researchers chose the gene DRD4-74 because it's a gene that predisposes people toward "novelty seeking behavior.” Earlier research had associated "novelty seeking behavior” with traits related to political liberalism.

"These findings suggest that political affiliation is not based solely on the kind of social environment people experience,” Fowler said. "This is the first study to elaborate a specific gene-environment interaction that contributes to ideological self-identification, and it highlights the importance of incorporating both nature and nurture into the study of political preferences.”

Also at: Researchers Find the 'Liberal Gene'

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This is the puckey of horses!

Also in the DNA band they will find predispositions to: robbery, murder, car theft, safe cracking, making computer viruses, parking illegally, speeding, taking mobile phones, selling defense secrets, and trying to dominate peaceful collectives

Where will it end?

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There is now a German translation of our Socialist Brain map, dated circa 2014.

It has been discovered and promptly reported by Genosse Dummkopf, who has fished it out of the bowels of the German interwebs (posted here and here).

I'm told this map is also currently being translated into Polish.


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So the scarecrow was a conservative simply because he didn't have a brain?