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Wedding Bells & Whistles (Literally Wedding Them)

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SMO, I have taken your advice and am over my schoolboy crush on Spinerette Nancy Peloski and transferred it to you. But perhaps I was not explicit enough in the cross-pollnization: I recommended Atomic Balm and Axle Grease. But by all means let us play Julia Child with the receipe. She was a French cook, after all, not a Greek one. But this is in point of fact neither. Well, perhaps we need an ancient Greek cook--who was the one in the Iliad?--and we could call the Hildo 7.0 Charon after the ferryman over the river Styx, which is what we shall call the LuxoLube a cayenne a la mode Hilliarie.

But this leaves open just who is to be Cerberus, the three-headed dog? The Hildo 7.0 is to replace Slick Willie (AstroTurfLube) but he has only one head in his nether region, and if you believe Gennifer Flower's statement in her <i>Penthouse</i> interview Slick has a small penis and Hillary fat ankles and they'll have to live with each others' imperfections. Which imperfections gave us Chelsea, but I digress. Again.

For Cerberus I propose the body of Hillary, whose ass is enough to support the extra two heads of Sheila Jackson Lee and Barbara Mikulski. But can you imagine the bozon flux they'd set up? The bozon is the elementary particle of irrationality, which dissembles quarks and makes time fly backward. That is why watching the People's DemKratic Konvention is only two days but in subjective time stretches back to the Mesozoic era.

I'm off to El Paso for the night to have a computer repaired, which I shall of course charge to a governmental entity, and I have reservations in a nice private dacha. Unfortunately it does not come with hot and cold running men, but then I'm rather past that.

Still, window shopping costs nothing, if done discretely, and you can't catch anything from it. It is too bad that the habitues of stores selling books and classical CDs look like people who frequent stores selling books and classical CDs. But until the Glorious Revolution, I won't have everything.

Westward ho to my rented dacha!

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I forgot. TiVo has a hard disk which never sleeps. It does move and throb and hum.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:SMO, I have taken your advice and am over my schoolboy crush on Spinerette Nancy Peloski and transferred it to you. But perhaps I was not explicit enough in the cross-pollnization: I recommended Atomic Balm and Axle Grease. But by all means let us play Julia Child with the receipe. She was a French cook, after all, not a Greek one. But this is in point of fact neither. Well, perhaps we need an ancient Greek cook--who was the one in the Iliad?--and we could call the Hildo 7.0 Charon after the ferryman over the river Styx, which is what we shall call the LuxoLube a cayenne a la mode Hilliarie.
Dearest Reactionary Ochlocratic BOy-Toy,
I fear I have created a recipe for capitulation... or at least unpalatably neutral swill (Swiss food!). I must, of course, reject both your reference to the river Styx, and Charon as one implies a religious afterlife and the other requires that the commune pay for the privilege of getting there. I don't think the chef in the Iliad was ever named... don't beat yourself up over it... that would be moussakistic... (sorry... I know that one hurt)...

Commissar Theocritus wrote:For Cerberus I propose the body of Hillary, whose ass is enough to support the extra two heads of Sheila Jackson Lee and Barbara Mikulski. But can you imagine the bozon flux they'd set up? The bozon is the elementary particle of irrationality, which dissembles quarks and makes time fly backward. That is why watching the People's DemKratic Konvention is only two days but in subjective time stretches back to the Mesozoic era.
Theocritus - it is my turn to admire your "fund of bullshit", but then, you have ten years on me and the ivory tower in which you were educated is no doubt whiter than the one I attended - lack of sun tends to yellow ivory. As long as we are discussing the Atomic Balm, and apparently, Schrödinger's dog, I must point out that according to Heisenberg, we can know the number of Hillary's heads, or their velocity, but not both... in all probability her ass could not support two extra heads given the fragility of the Bose-Eisenstein condensate we are sure to land in if we walk down this particular Planck... our feet will become superimposed... nay... entangled in a stew of degenerate gases unless we can keep our heads cooled to absolute zero. I think you will find that upon observation, the entire theory collapses. But let's move on, before we Bohr our comrades...

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I'm off to El Paso for the night to have a computer repaired, which I shall of course charge to a governmental entity, and I have reservations in a nice private dacha. Unfortunately it does not come with hot and cold running men, but then I'm rather past that. Still, window shopping costs nothing, if done discretely, and you can't catch anything from it. It is too bad that the habitues of stores selling books and classical CDs look like people who frequent stores selling books and classical CDs. But until the Glorious Revolution, I won't have everything.
Did I mention that cayenne pepper has anti-bacterial qualities? Barring that, the krisko is useful when donning PVC, which I also find protektive. However, I must again disagree with you regarding your assessment of the patrons and employees of book and music stores... having worked in used and antiquarian book sales to fund my somewhat yellowed education, I can attest to having experienced a wide range of attractiveness of both workers and shoppers. Beauty is relative... what's more, I have been told that beauty is truth and truth beauty... Honestly. Perhaps your disappointment is a function of locale, rather than the general characteristics of said habitues.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Westward ho to my rented dacha!
Wrong direction comrade... Do you not mean Eastward Ho? Please correct your orientation immediately, or I will be forced to denounce you... but only because I care so very much about you...

In your best interests,
S.M.O.

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My dearest SMO. I realize that it may seem natural to head east but west is where Berkley lies. And Stanford in Palo Alto. Where Commandant Punchenko will be glad to know that they are building a separatist dorm for toasters, and Helen will be the dean of toasters. There will be classes on toaster theory, and Shakespeare taught from a toaster perspective. When Caesar's ghost pops up from hell, he really pops up.

Actually the underworld is merely a foreshadowing of Soviet realism. Charon is the captain of the ferryboat over the Volga. In the People's Paradise life and death will commingle in magic realism that even Gabriel José García Márquez cannot imagine. And our glorious future is after all a religious one--it cannot be proven that it works, must be taken on faith, and what are a few million bodies among friends when doctrine is challenged? Savaronola would be green with envy, and Torquemada would have a hissy fit. We have much in common with other religions--environmentalism, veganism, animism, totalitarianism. All much the same, if you consider them from a feminist viewpoint, in terms of power.

The ivy tower of my education had no towers, rather it was situate in a Houston swamp and we called it William Rice Marsh University. Such education that I have is entirely eclectic, other than training in piano, Latin and computer science. I would hate to be constrained by the rigors of educated thought, and said lack makes me the perfect Commissar. Ignorance is power. I have taken a page from Jerry Falwell. I wonder if he would appreciate my red-in-tooth-and-claw sentiments. I might conjure up a heart attack if I kissed him afterward. The contagion would shorten my life, but anything for the Cause.

It is my turn to again admire your fund of bullshit, in calling it Scroedinger's dog. I had thought that it was a cat, but I realize that you in reality had reference to a bitch in a box instead of the other way round which makes sense with the Hildo 7.0, in a wonderful Moebius rendition of scientific history.

I do understand the point of your point about the people who frequent book and CD stores, but bear in mind that being of a certain age, and growing up in West Texas as neither fish nor fowl, but having the urges incumbent on fowl, I have, until a recent life-changing event, had a rather pornographic view of people--one from column A, another from column B and an hour later you're ready for some more. And in a part of the world where ratiocination is confined to a rigorous intellectual analysis of the fair-catch rule (Oops! I wet 'em), there is very little scope indeed, especially since virtually all of the other people who are neither fish nor fowl have sundered their lives into two and fled to a larger, more hospitable city, an option not open to me. (But then I refuse to be a man of two halves.) Although I do find myself frequenting Barnes and Noble in foreign cities more and more... Nothing to the selection at Amazon of course, but there is a certain <i>je ne sais quoi</i> about being in a large room with books and people who hold them right-side-up to read them.

And I remain, an ochlocrat of a kakistocracy which is dissolving into a pornocracy--Commissar Theocritus

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Theocritus...
Very briefly as I am just going to bed... Chairman M. S. Punchenko is looking for you... I will tell him he may find you in this thread... I hope your trip was profitable, computationally and mechanically.
S.M.O.

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Yes, the trip was profitable. On leaving the shower in the dacha--a cheap one with 10K gold faucets--I found that the hot-water heater had burst and flooded the calidarium. (Which is conveniently located next to the vomitorium, which, to aid in its emetic design, plays videos of the Democratic Convention 24/7.)

While the serfs dressed me, I found that I could walk on water, thus showing that religion is fine, after all, as long as the oligarchy alone is honored.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Yes, the trip was profitable. On leaving the shower in the dacha--a cheap one with 10K gold faucets--I found that the hot-water heater had burst and flooded the calidarium. (Which is conveniently located next to the vomitorium, which, to aid in its emetic design, plays videos of the Democratic Convention 24/7.)

While the serfs dressed me, I found that I could walk on water, thus showing that religion is fine, after all, as long as the oligarchy alone is honored.

Good to hear... had started crafting a response to your note of yesterday, but had to go to dentist appointment, where simple thing became... not so simple thing involving vast amounts of novocaine and ridiculous number of needles, stitches and gause... Perhaps the longest appointment of my life (dentist appointment... I've had longer tattoo appointments involving many many more needles but no novocaine that I recall) which, now that the freezing has worn off, has become quite painful. I hope you will excuse me for my neglect, but I have to go and hammer a nail through my foot now...

Ow.
S.M.O.

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Heh, heh. Reminds me of the time I got my Wisdom teeth removed. No one told me they put stitches in! (I need the party for that kind of thing.) I thought it was gauze stuck in my braces, so I yanked it out. Thankfully, the novocaine hadn't lost its effect yet and I just sat there with a black thread in my hands. I decided, using my superior socialist trained intellect to just put some more gauze in, and go to sleep hoping that it would heal overnight. The next morning however, when I removed the gauze, there was a 1"x1/2" blood clot stuck to it, and a hole in my jaw.

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Y'all a bunch of sissies.

I'm the 3rd person in the world to have a Hoffman device (Halo) screwed into my skull while I was awake after I had broken my neck in two places. Now they put you under. I was a guinea pig for the calibrations for each turn of the screw for four screws.
I've had detached retinas in both eyes, requiring a scleral buckle in my left eye. Eye surgery...that's pain!
No cartiledge in both knees, now there is Synvisc and I can walk again. I get injections each year.
College basketball and the Army did a number on my body.
Shit, teeth? I lost a couple of Chicklets playing ice hockey. Sutures? Over two hundred. Broken bones? All my fingers, both arms, right foot, and my neck (previously mentioned)
And a mime thinks he can kick my ass. He'd better have a gun.

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Premier Betty wrote:Heh, heh. Reminds me of the time I got my Wisdom teeth removed. No one told me they put stitches in! (I need the party for that kind of thing.) I thought it was gauze stuck in my braces, so I yanked it out. Thankfully, the novocaine hadn't lost its effect yet and I just sat there with a black thread in my hands. I decided, using my superior socialist trained intellect to just put some more gauze in, and go to sleep hoping that it would heal overnight. The next morning however, when I removed the gauze, there was a 1"x1/2" blood clot stuck to it, and a hole in my jaw.
Betsky,
Is called 'dry socket' and is excruciatingly painful, no? And could possibly be the reason you were so well-prepared when it came to power stapling your tongue to so many surfaces in last year's thought-experiment. But enough reminiscing... I believe I can say with all honesty that this is more painful than my own experience with wisdom teeth removal and dry socket... But it could be because they removed a small piece of bone from my jaw a few hours ago, and it was well-attached up to that point. Also, I am unable to ice this particular insult as I have pre-existing damange to trigeminal nerve that causes increases in pain when cold is applied... I will endeavor, mind you, not to remove any of the stitches myself... What I cannot figure out is why the only thing still 'frozen' is my right ear...

One last thing Betsky - I know you are relatively young and believe that you are invincible, and so think you can just 'heal overnight'... It is a fallacy... This is where the problem started for me as today's surgery was the logical end (to this point) of me head-butting someone in the foot with my face in high school, and had I had more respect for the injury at the time, I wouldn't have had bone 'scar' to remove today... Also, I know how fascinating open wounds can be - I once found myself quite enthralled with incision and closures from spleen removal and couldn't help myself from wanting to see what they were trying to hide from me - But in future, please don't remove any more stitches yourself. They are actually useful at keeping things from falling out of body...

To your health.
S.M.O.

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I always remembered the stories kids would tell about stupid stuff they did, and what horrible things happened to them. I never had any of those stories. Either because I was smart enough not to do those kinds of stupid things, or because I was just lucky. I think it's the latter.

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:Y'all a bunch of sissies.
I'm the 3rd person in the world to have a Hoffman device (Halo) screwed into my skull while I was awake after I had broken my neck in two places. Now they put you under. I was a guinea pig for the calibrations for each turn of the screw for four screws.
I've had detached retinas in both eyes, requiring a scleral buckle in my left eye. Eye surgery...that's pain!
No cartiledge in both knees, now there is Synvisc and I can walk again. I get injections each year.
College basketball and the Army did a number on my body.
Shit, teeth? I lost a couple of Chicklets playing ice hockey. Sutures? Over two hundred. Broken bones? All my fingers, both arms, right foot, and my neck (previously mentioned)
And a mime thinks he can kick my ass. He'd better have a gun.
Oh ho... I am most impressed Laika! And I am, in fact, a sissy... sissy massively opiated... I can only claim skull fracture, 3 x broken nose (there is no septum cartilage left so I can thread things between my nostrils to make people vomit on command! Is most amusing at parties) broken wrist and surgery on both hands so they would continue to move... dislocated A/C and torn rotator cuff with similar dislocation, fractured shoulder blade and large number of ribs (that was kewl accident... 96 pounds of frozen chili fell out of the sky onto me!), spondyloarthropathies on several vertabrae with almost complete fusion of L1 through L4, severe deterioration of sacrum and both hips (I am 41 and need both replaced already)... knees and ankles are similarly problematic and require surgery shortly, and am supposed to be wearing hinged thingies on both legs but it's hell getting through airport security with them on, and they cancel out protection of tinfoil hat... I did dislocate my elbows a total of five times between the ages of 4 and 6, once both at the same time!... but small children are very flexible... and I frequently unscrew the top of my skull and remove my brain for laundering... You got me on the eye surgery though... ewwww... am very jealous of Hockey injuries. Have practically brand new Bauer's that I haven't been able to break in for over two years now and will have to wait until at least next winter... most distressing... Congratulations on Halo! Quite an accomplishment!


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Premier Betty wrote:Okay, now you're just making shit up.
Nope... that's the short list... I left out a number of breaks that were very straightforward, and I really did have my shoulder blade fractured by 96 lbs. of frozen chili. Mind you, I've never had an accident with a power tool. Appliances are lovers, not fighters... which is why you should never stick a fork in your toaster, as Meow can well tell you... plus, it's just rude...

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My lord and I thought that I was a walking infirmary. In 1995 I thought I had the flu but my secretary made me go to the hospital. I went to ICU and my brother and father came in and I handed Mark my wallet and said I'd be out in a day or two; please see to the cat. Five weeks later I came to in a hospital 80 miles away, having been in a coma from peritonitis. When I arrived I had no pulse or blood pressure, and held the record for years of being the sickest to survive.

Then lymphedema and astonishing pain, blackened toes; venous hemotoma; gastric blockage and the stomach pump, and our old friend the upper GI. Not serious in and of itself, but proving that medicine cures modesty.

And a year ago I was in the hospital here told that I would die shortly, having reacted to an intolerable life by trying the Party's cure of the bottle. No past, no future, an impossible present. For some reason, perhaps because hell has my grandmother and one in the family is quite enough, I managed to do the medically impossible and have recovered utterly and completely. Never been done before. Praise be to Hillary. And with that ensued an astonishing chain of events--the destruction of ideology, opening mental closets, putting my life in order, working through problems, and finally publicly taking <i>everything</i> out of the closet, including me in a small town--to no ill effects. And the oil boom doesn't hurt either, giving me the resources to be nasty to all and sundry who deserve it, because of the wonderful fact that I now have what is known in New York as fuck-you money. And no more desire for the Party's remedy either; I have no further need for medicine.

So I do have quite a bit of sympathy for illness, but have always taken comfort in the adage from the early days of flying: Any landing you walk away from is a good one.

Time to flog the kulaks. And don't tell Our Many-Titted Empress that (1) I'm doing well; (2) I'm actually happy; (3) I don't resent the world; (4) I don't want things from people; (5) and I don't need the approval or let or leave of her or anyone else to live, or she'll make a special concentration camp for me. For after all, we in the party have nothing to fear but people who don't need us or fear us. The independent man must go to the wall.

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Hmmm, I have managed (thus far) not to break anything (KNOCK ON WOOD). I'm afraid that might change now due to a debate I'm having on Thursday with a room full of drooling moonbats (Campus Commies if you will) that will probably break my legs after dismissing their puny arguments against the Iraq War (most of them can't find Iraq on a map) (most of them don't know we are at war with Iraq) (most of them don't know anything at all and are only there because the school wants more $$$ for exspansion). <sigh> I just hope I don't make anyone cry this time, heaven forbid if I bust out laughing and have to feel bad the rest of the day for causing someones little world to collapse.

( I saw an Oral Surgeon, Betty. They do a better job and ensure you have the best in opiates for the rigorous recovery!)

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Holy shit sis...are you a crash test dummy or something?? wtf is up with all that misery (sorry to hear about it tho, truly I am). Laika I can understand because of his former military career...were you on Les Habs ?

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:My lord and I thought that I was a walking infirmary....Time to flog the kulaks. And don't tell Our Many-Titted Empress that (1) I'm doing well; (2) I'm actually happy; (3) I don't resent the world; (4) I don't want things from people; (5) and I don't need the approval or let or leave of her or anyone else to live, or she'll make a special concentration camp for me. For after all, we in the party have nothing to fear but people who don't need us or fear us. The independent man must go to the wall.
Proud Theocritus,
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! Can I get an amen! Testify! I like to say that every day above ground is a good day, even though I live in a bunker...

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Hmmm, I have managed (thus far) not to break anything (KNOCK ON WOOD). I'm afraid that might change now due to a debate I'm having on Thursday with a room full of drooling moonbats (Campus Commies if you will) that will probably break my legs after dismissing their puny arguments against the Iraq War... ( I saw an Oral Surgeon, Betty. They do a better job and ensure you have the best in opiates for the rigorous recovery!)
Meow,
Breaks heal.. necklacing leaves bad scars. Be thankful you aren't debating the Campus A.N.C.
Normally, I have an oral surgeon remove the bone-thingy about every ten years... it's a recurring problem. However, in the course of having something simple done in my dentist's office, we found that it had come back faster than usual and in order to fix what needed fixing he had to do it on the spot. Usually I psyche myself into it, but was unprepared today. Thankfully, I have access to the very best in medications, as I have nasty suite of auto-immune conditions which make pain management necessary. You didn't think my name had to do with political philosophy, did you? I really am handi-capable.

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I forgot to count my broken nose (3x) I forgot about the ribs too.
Knees are on the replacement list.
Never had a power tool accident, but working in a lumber mill, I saw a few fingers lopped off (Very amusing story) and I had a 12 penny nail go through my left foot.
Accidentally punched my hand through a glass window once and severed an artery on my right wrist. That's all minor stuff.
New Bauers? What's wrong with Tacks? Do they still make Tacks? I'm a big Penguins fan. The first game I saw was against the Leafs. Plante shut us out 4-0. I have Davie Keon's autograph somewhere. The 'Guins downed the Islanders 5-2 tonight. Sid the Kid had a pair.
No, SMO, I'll remove you from my sissy list. Lumbar fusions are no picnics. The fuckin' mime stays on the sissy list for life.

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...I'll never bitch about my hand excema again...although its painful when it flares up and my fingers feel like sizzling bratwurst on a wood-fired grill...a couple weeks of Prednisone and various topicals usually control it...piker stuff to you guys...

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Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda wrote:Holy shit sis...are you a crash test dummy or something?? wtf is up with all that misery (sorry to hear about it tho, truly I am). Laika I can understand because of his former military career...were you on Les Habs ?
No... Come from family of double-jointed women - makes dislocation very easy, but we are profoundly flexible... then spent my teen years in Saskatchewan where there is nothing to do but get drunk and brawl (well... that is huge over-simplification, but you get the picture)... then I worked in film industry, on set doing male type job in female type body, which is a bit wearing... and then began military career battling immune system in civil war... it adds up over time and meds used to suppress immune system weaken bones and connective tissue... Plus, have always been very rough and tumble tomboy type person... have worked doing other guy-type jobs and very physical sports and recreation... note I own hockey skates, not figure skates...

But enough sad things. What of Appliances? And Love?... The incomparable electricity produced when a human meets just the right tool for the job? I have a crush on Nikolai Tesla, but please, don't tell anyone... and sometimes when I'm home alone, I shuffle over carpet just to self generate electricity...

... and then there are the vegetables... the whole appliance/vegetable equal rights movement has me obssessing about potato clocks...

We are neglecting this thread terribly...

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Laika proclaims what we all know
The fuckin' mime stays on the sissy list for life.
ya...I miss him tho...sis and T, you would've had a field day with us :)

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*IDEA*

We need a Mikael Rudolph Memorial Thread! Yeah! And we can play Elton John's Candle in the Wind MIDI as we all talk of the happier times we had with Mikael! Maybe with revamped lyrics, selected Mikael quotes and cheesy mime pictures to commerate the man who captivated our hearts and further reinforced why we're are right and he is just WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG...... and stupid.

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Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda wrote:Laika proclaims what we all know
The fuckin' mime stays on the sissy list for life.
ya...I miss him tho...sis and T, you would've had a field day with us :)
From what I have read as I catch up on the last year, I believe I would have. I have had actual... pangs... at the thought of 'the piss' I missed 'taking'.... but then I remind myself that there is no shortage of assholes in the world, and since everyone needs a hobby, there's sure to be another one along any time now... or barring that, one of us will find our way onto one of their blogs and 'invite' them to participate in a Cubist foray... and then what fun we'll have, my dear Pravda...

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:*IDEA*

We need a Mikael Rudolph Memorial Thread! Yeah! And we can play Elton John's Candle in the Wind MIDI as we all talk of the happier times we had with Mikael! Maybe with revamped lyrics, selected Mikael quotes and cheesy mime pictures to commerate the man who captivated our hearts and further reinforced why we're are right and he is just WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG...... and stupid.
Meowitchka,
Could we perhaps also have a MIDI version of Queen's "Teo Torriatte". I believe it is a much underused memorial anthem, and its lyrics do contain the words candle, night, years, cling, AND lessons... it's so maudlin it triggers my lactose intolerance on principle. The two could loop one after the other... Also, I'd like to suggest that for that thread only, we have a very visually busy wallpaper of some execrably 'spiritual' objet ou symbole de paix... doves and daisies... well... doves certainly...
LET'S DO DERISION RIGHT! And this would allow those of us who missed tormenting him at the first go-round the opportunity to post swooning opuses to our grief over having missed full contact lackwit-bashing one such as He (PBUH)...

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Survival is its own reward. Not a believer in anything but empiricism, still I have to think that perhaps the reason that I still infect the earth is that there are many eyes which have not yet felt my thumb.

Darling SMO, did you resort to your armamentarium of medicaments when Peloski opened Congress? Unfortunately I did not change the TiVo channel before turning on the goggle box and am awaiting shipment of a new one.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:Survival is its own reward. Not a believer in anything but empiricism, still I have to think that perhaps the reason that I still infect the earth is that there are many eyes which have not yet felt my thumb.
Ah yes... The Three Stooges Justification. Logically speaking, in an infinite universe, one cannot disprove the existence of a supreme being, or anything else for that matter... speaking of which, re: earlier in this thread, the Jesuit astronomer channeling Coyote - not a coyote... the Coyote, as in the Native American trickster god... and the Jesuit worked at the Mount Graham Internation Observatory in AZ. Also, I dispute the use of the word "infect"

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Darling SMO, did you resort to your armamentarium of medicaments when Peloski opened Congress? Unfortunately I did not change the TiVo channel before turning on the goggle box and am awaiting shipment of a new one.
I do not use meds to treat psychic pain - only physical pain... and as Agent Peloski's Basilisk-like properties were distorted by the effects of gravitational lensing around Bonnie Fwank, I was saved from damage to my person or my electronics... If it will at all help, just keep reminding yourself that as the universe expands, the things in it are flying away from each other very very fast... so every second that goes by takes you farther away from her...

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Soul-mate SMO--and I would flee in uttermost distress from that appellation, I in a rare moment of honesty warn you--I appreciate your dispute of the word infect, but then it occurs to me that Dr. Jonah Salk managed great things by a deliberate infection.

I am convinced that there is a supreme being, having been led to that by Mortimer J. Adler's <i>How to Think About God</i>, which I read in 1984. I cannot rehearse his arguments now any more than I can the vector-calculus argument using spherical integration to prove the volume of a sphere. Suffice it to say that I trust my memory of the logical process. But in his ultimate paragraph he says that at the present state of philosophy it is impossible to prove that god is knowable.

I am currently in a friendly contention with a Fr. Brooks, who is writing a book on pacifism in the early Church, who points triumphantly to his statement that Adler was received into the church before his death, and a great many other things, which to his mind prove that not only is god knowable but that he happens to be not only the Catholic one but the particular flavor of the Catholic god which he has designed for himself. I have confected a reply to him, which a friend, Katie, has advised me not to send on the argument that it is not nice to kick out his crutch, and in that reply I have suggested that I cannot prove that Jesus is not the son of god, but neither can he prove that Jesus is the son of god and that--herein the heresy--his religious observances are individual caprice suited to his pleasure. And that he does not properly understand the definition of faith, and I will accept the Biblical one.

Another nice insulation from Bonnie Fwank--who engenders in me the feeling that Clarence Thomas has on seeing Jesse Jackson--is the Mozart coming from the bedroom on the new B&W 705 speakers bought Monday; Texas pecan coffee; snow on the ground, a great rarity; good health (and I wish you the same); and the knowledge of a relatively easeful day confecting deeds and researching title--pedestrian work to be sure but it is not for nothing that it is called real estate. And the knowledge that tomorrow I shall give supper to a friend of high intelligence and understanding, and Saturday to another of the same. The pesto I made last night was in perfect proportions and I managed to remember them. A major achievement.

Into the snow-covered world...

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Just wanted to point out that things have really gotten out of hand on this thread (as they always do around here!) It's like Disneyworld without the stupid monster with big ears and Michael Jackson gloves.
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Here's a website on the golem:
https://www.templesanjose.org/JudaismIn ... /Golem.htm

As an additional clarification: Comrade Theocritus is not, in fact, a pedophile but a psomiaphile. Though some children may be crumbs, no crumbs are in fact children (that's logic!)

And finally with a quick ref to the def chef in the lliad, I'm sure you're thinking about Pelops (or maybe Atreus)... well one of those blokes anyway cooked a mean souvlaki!
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Proud Theocritus,
Reference to Dr. Salk implies vaccination... again, I must contest usage. If you must, perhaps homeopathy similitude whereby infintesimal amount of something dangerous provides a cure for itself... Tincture of Theocritus! In this way, too much of a good thing might just be what the doctor ordered... Can you live with that?
AbecedariusRex wrote:Just wanted to point out that things have really gotten out of hand on this thread (as they always do around here!) It's like Disneyworld without the stupid monster with big ears and Michael Jackson gloves.
D'ya think! Heheheheh. I keep trying to bring things back around to machine love, but to no avail. Perhaps Glorious Red Square will split the thread... or simply chasten us (good luck with that... ).

BTW Abecedarius... your avatar bears a startling likeness to a local sports talk radio personality in T.O... do you have a twin?

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BTW Abecedarius... your avatar bears a startling likeness to a local sports talk radio personality in T.O... do you have a twin?

Oh is that who I am? I thought I was more Jean Reno from Leon, the Professional.

Like this:
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Honestly, though, here's a real honest to goodness honest portrait of me:
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(I'm getting rather thick around the middle)

Crikey, this beats working!

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:I keep trying to bring things back around to machine love, but to no avail. Perhaps Glorious Red Square will split the thread... or simply chasten us (good luck with that... ).
I thought all the talk about replacing human parts with manufactured ones fits right into the topic of man/womyn/appliance/vegetable love. Comrades with artificial parts and developed exoskeletons, whose skulls can be unscrewed to allow an easier access (for all the Party's brainwashing needs) are the prototype of the New Man fit to live in the glorious new society.

This thread falls into the category of "best practices" and should be propagandized as such on a broader scale.

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Red Square wrote:
Sister Massively Opiated wrote:I keep trying to bring things back around to machine love, but to no avail. Perhaps Glorious Red Square will split the thread... or simply chasten us (good luck with that... ).
I thought all the talk about replacing human parts with manufactured ones fits right into the topic of man/womyn/appliance/vegetable love. Comrades with artificial parts and developed exoskeletons, whose skulls can be unscrewed to allow an easier access (for all the Party's brainwashing needs) are the prototype of the New Man fit to live in the glorious new society.

This thread falls into the category of "best practices" and should be propagandized as such on a broader scale.

Dear Glorious Leader,
Such a relief to know that not only will I not be purged for digressing to the point of having my own corialis effect, but that my soon-to-be-required double eyeball transplant is on point.... Not to be outdone by Comrade Canine, Laika, I have today taken on the task of sitting in front of very slow computer while working in perhaps original version of PhotoShop in order to clean up many-times photocopied and then scanned hand-drawn illustrations for guild research paper. My eyes are red burning coals... very similar to our beloved cube, albeit spherical. I look forward to having them replaced by people's ball-bearings, OD 1.0625 - surgical stainless if at all possible, but can always just keep lubricating if rust becomes an issue. I think it would be good for party tricks.

Also, while we're on the topic, I believe it's time to degauze the plate in my head. I have been attracting all manner of metalic objects as I make my way through the world, some flying at me with great force, which tends to deform my carefully thought out tinfoil chapeau.

I believe this falls under warranty.
S.M.O.

ps... and may need to do something about hydraulics as this freaking computer (not mine... though all belongs to the Party) is slower than my old cobbled together 386, not to mention my very first - an Apple II+ requiring two 5 1/4" floppy disks.... so I am about to blow gasket... Gaah!

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:ps... and may need to do something about hydraulics as this freaking computer (not mine... though all belongs to the Party) is slower than my old cobbled together 386, not to mention my very first - an Apple II+ requiring two 5 1/4" floppy disks just to boot up.... so I am about to blow gasket... Gaah!

Sorry about these duplicate posts... yet another problem with either the computer I was on or the network, which was also very slow today... I think when I hit "Submit" the page was loading so slowly that it was timing out and then attempting to resend, even though the message had gone through to the Cube's server... Yet another reason to have to such pressure in the hydraulics today... that and the universe's oldest copy of PS - I think it must have been installed using punch cards (yeah yeah... I know... that's IBM)... altogether, not a happy computer day.

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... and Sorry again... I'd just delete them but I can only do that if they are the last message in the thread, as far as I know... so Sorry... I'm home now on a machine that works and on a network that's all my own (and the Party's, of course)...

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Sister Red,
Either you are emphasizing a point or else the repetition has subtle and subversive strains of realpolitik Newspeak.
Either way, I like the burning coals for eyeballs image.
See here:
Image

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AbecedariusRex wrote:Sister Red,
Either you are emphasizing a point or else the repetition has subtle and subversive strains of realpolitik Newspeak.
Either way, I like the burning coals for eyeballs image.
See here:
Image

I'd have done up a nice graphic with fiery orbs... IF I HAD A DECENT COPY OF PS AT HAND (that banging sound you may hear is my head hitting my desk repeatedly... <moan.... whimper>)... so much for that nice multi-licence copy I was going to get my hands on... if I had to work with that every day, I'd absolutely lose it, so I guess I'm buying a new copy of PS.

... Ahhh... I think I know why the multi-posts... my service provider is having some problems (same ISP as the place I was working today... )... that's why the multiple copies of stuff... people were probably getting multiple copies of emails from me today too. Internet is okay but now the mail server is acting up...

Glorious Red Square,
What happens when we all get 'implants' a la Wm. Gibson, and the network goes down (or we get a virus like in Johnny Mnemonic)?... What if we all had chips running stuff and there was an EMP? Don't get me wrong... I'm all for making babies with toasters, but it does raise some questions... Like, with the Six Million Dollar Man... if we're only as strong as our weakest part, why wasn't he always ripping his arms off? Enquiring minds want to know... Meow - any ideas? Theocritis? Pravda? Otis?... Betsky?... Laika must have some ideas. This is gonna keep me up tonight...

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SMO, I apologize for my silence. It was not pique; for me that is a one-way street, to be given and not taken. My ISP is also being a Hillary today, and I find that getting 1/1000 of the speed that I'm paying for Just Won't Do, and I'm within Teddy's conscience of firing them, contract notwithstanding.

I would love to see things orbit the plate covering your trepanation before degaussing. That is certainly more interesting, and wholesome, than the things which orbit me. I seem to have discovered here a new dimension to the charm property of quarks: the ability of morons to glom onto me without mercy. A woman came in and through her daughter/interpreter, stared at me, with eyes like red coals, demanding that I remove her daughter-in-law from her old house because her no-good-son had fled to El Paso with a puta leaving his children behind. (And do not consider genetics; that is a one-way trip to the bar.) In vain I explained to Senora Eyes of Glowing Coals that I do not enforce the law, but merely confect titles and conveyances, but it seems that anything to do with dirt encompasses all to do with dirt. On this reasoning anyone who flushes the toilet in the morning has direct control of Congress.

But I think that Nancy Peloski manages to outdo us both: you with your trepanic attraction, and me with my bozonic attraction. She has silver, goal and valuable paper circling her, and none of them is ferrous or particularly stupid. I expect that when she went out on a date, the boy had to take the mad money for a cab ride home, and I'll bet that many a boy on a date with her did it, leaving his car for her to run over proles, sue them for failing to keep a safe lookout (a legal term of art), and then hock the car, and the boys who took a lesson at the first go wound up walking the streets of the Castro looking for love in all the right places, right that is after what was left after her.

And you endear yourself to me again. Nearly 30 years ago I wrote some rather nice software for an Apple ][ and it has a soft spot in my heart. So good was the experience that I'm typing on my 29th Mac. But it is, after all, the computer of the fruit.

I am not convinced that, viz. (your shadow again) the Six Million Dollar Man, that we are only as strong as our weakest part, else that gobsmackingly stupid Senator Jay Rockefeller would insure the sinking of the Demokratic Party. But if logic is to be consistent, which I admit is an inconvenience to the acquisition of power, either we are not as strong as our weakest link or Jay Rockefeller is not the weakest link which implies that the Demokratic Party is so utterly evil, vile, and stupid you and I and Bill Buckley could plunder dictionaries for a year and not find a word of sufficient strength to do it justice and finally we would all disappear in a puff of frustration.

Oh. Been there. Done that.

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But if logic is to be consistent, which I admit is an inconvenience to the acquisition of power, either we are not as strong as our weakest link or Jay Rockefeller is not the weakest link which implies that the Demokratic Party is so utterly evil, vile, and stupid you and I and Bill Buckley could plunder dictionaries for a year and not find a word of sufficient strength to do it justice and finally we would all disappear in a puff of frustration.
James Webb has already proved his brilliance, too...I hear they selected this dork to respond to Bush's State of the Union address; I'm sure it will be priceless!

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:SMO, I apologize for my silence... My ISP is also being a Hillary today, and I find that getting 1/1000 of the speed that I'm paying for Just Won't Do.
Fearless Theocritus,
No worries about silence - I sometimes disappear for a year at a time. Something was going wrong in a number of places, and I'm not sure it was service providers 'fault'. ITR indicated there were problems that day.

I would love to see things orbit the plate covering your trepanation before degaussing. That is certainly more interesting, and wholesome, than the things which orbit me. I seem to have discovered here a new dimension to the charm property of quarks: the ability of morons to glom onto me without mercy... In vain I explained... that I do not enforce the law, but merely confect titles and conveyances, but it seems that anything to do with dirt encompasses all to do with dirt. On this reasoning anyone who flushes the toilet in the morning has direct control of Congress.
There is a name for this phenomenon. It is called El Torbellino de las Perras Idiota, and happens when there is a confluence of just the 'right' astrological, meteorological and cultural variables within a stew of wishful thinking and childish stubbornness. Personally, I believe that it is connected to global warming since it used to be a relatively rare phenomenon, but seems to be increasing in frequency worldwide. That, or I could just be a lot less tolerant than I used to be.

I am not convinced that, viz. (your shadow again) the Six Million Dollar Man, that we are only as strong as our weakest part, else that gobsmackingly stupid Senator Jay Rockefeller would insure the sinking of the Demokratic Party. But if logic is to be consistent, which I admit is an inconvenience to the acquisition of power, either we are not as strong as our weakest link or Jay Rockefeller is not the weakest link which implies that the Demokratic Party is so utterly evil, vile, and stupid you and I and Bill Buckley could plunder dictionaries for a year and not find a word of sufficient strength to do it justice and finally we would all disappear in a puff of frustration.
I was speaking purely in the physical sense... which might explain the recent increase in the number of adverse reaction reports to the makers of Viagara, re: the disassociation of members from owners. Apparently, although you won't go blind, it can fall off...

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye,
S.M.O.

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There is a name for this phenomenon. It is called El Torbellino de las Perras Idiota, and happens when there is a confluence of just the 'right' astrological, meteorological and cultural variables within a stew of wishful thinking and childish stubbornness.

Yes, but have you considered Las Tortellinas del Otros Patria? Now that is a phenomenon worthy of the people! The other is capitalist pig-dog propaganda.

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I do not know if you--and I--are merely getting older or wiser. And bear in mind that I have a decade on you, which to my calculating mentality means that I'm 25% older. So my patience is easily tried, and frayed, and in the past year I have come to recognize what is important and what is not. My particular problem is caused by the authoritarian mindset of the people here, people, who are good and bad, smart and stupid, kind and cruel like everyone else, but do not have ingrained centuries of due process of law. Their first loyalty is to a supreme being, next to someone of power, nearly always a man, then their family, their extended family, friends, and then a polity. Perhaps. From this it is little problem to understand the Islamofascists or even the kleptocracies in Africa, where it is thought that a man who did <i>not</i> steal to provide for his family would be a bad man.

To the man who is supposed to have the answers comes the problem. Someone will present me with his problem and, his part done, stand back. I will give him a plan of attack and he'll tell me his problem. Again; having confessed, he has done his part. And so it goes--I am to conjure for a supplicant. Therefore unashamed corruption no longer surprises me. And it should come as no shock that the culture is very sentimental, overlying callousness.

(I have no objection to immigrants but will shout from the rooftops that they must assimilate or America will become what they fled.)

I have been very amused by reports of old goats who, on getting a scrip for Viagra or some other leavening. ("My rod and my staff they shall comfort her--I am pleased to think.") There is nothing more absurd than a man of advanced years thinking that a drug will make him revert to a stud when all it does is make him stand to attention. Studliness is more than that. Perhaps I am unduly sensitive, from my vantage point. After all, one thing which most people do not consider about people who like others like themselves is that we such people, on looking in the mirror, must say, "Would I do you?" And all the apothecary's potions on earth cannot change the answer to that.

To relax and fight off the ague from a traveling opportunistic malaise--not to be confused with the stationary one on Capitol Hill--in the arms of Schumann's string quintet, which is just the ticket.

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Commissar Theocritus wrote:I do not know if you--and I--are merely getting older or wiser... I have come to recognize what is important and what is not... My particular problem is caused by the authoritarian mindset of the people here... Their first loyalty is to a supreme being... the kleptocracies in Africa, where it is thought that a man who did <i>not</i> steal to provide for his family would be a bad man.
Theocritus... it's Friday... you can relax for the weekend.
I'm not sure that age is necessarily indicative of mind-set. Certainly, crises tend to anneal the personality. In some ways, getting very sick was the 'best' thing that ever happened to me, since it becomes much easier to shed the unnecessary without guilt... or even second-guessing oneself. Easy to say when I don't work at a job that brings me in contact with the public - but then, I have to navigate the Canadian healthcare system on a regular basis, which is slightly better than an intransigent HMO run by Oompa-Loompas. My patience is not so much frayed as on hold... I just don't bother to engage the emotions necessary to require patience any more. To quote 'Marla' in "Fight Club"... "Sliiiide"... Like water off a duck...

To the man who is supposed to have the answers comes the problem. Someone will present me with his problem and, his part done, stand back. I will give him a plan of attack and he'll tell me his problem. Again; having confessed, he has done his part. And so it goes--I am to conjure for a supplicant. Therefore unashamed corruption no longer surprises me. And it should come as no shock that the culture is very sentimental, overlying callousness.
(I have no objection to immigrants but will shout from the rooftops that they must assimilate or America will become what they fled.)
This also falls under the heading of refusal to engage in exercises requiring patience. I understand that everyone needs a hobby and so some might look to willful simpleness for entertainment, but I can't be bothered to even pay attention let alone encourage them, and have a bad habit of telling them so... I guess you can't really do that at work... heheheh... sorry... I also tell people when I think they're sociophathic... I have no patience for individuals who stick their fingers on the works of other peoples' lives to distract themselves from their own misery or boredom, and simply won't put up with them. I've made some very good friends by telling people to F**k off, and those that don't get it just aren't around for me to worry about... it's a very effective tactic for managing relationships. Interesting that among my friends, many of whom have come to Canada from Argentina, there is constant consternation at how accommodating Canada is and how little it requires its new citizens to embrace the culture they moved here for. Too many native-born Canadians find Trudeau's myth of multiculturalism too beguiling to argue with... it makes them feel good about themselves because it would be nice to live in a world where everyone just gets along... But then, I'm a practising Buddhist, so I'm one to talk (Betsky once told me Ghandi was a Nazi in a diaper, to which I replied, "just like Goering"). My only defense is that I practice Zen... and Ghandi was Hindu.

I have been very amused by reports of old goats who, on getting a scrip for Viagra or some other leavening. ("My rod and my staff they shall comfort her--I am pleased to think.")... on looking in the mirror, must say, "Would I do you?" And all the apothecary's potions on earth cannot change the answer to that.
LOL... A british researcher has shown that the more dissimilar two individual's genetic profiles are, the more likely they are to find each other's smell attractive, and that smell is, albeit subconsciously, the biggest indicator of attraction... and since we mostly can't smell ourselves... well... maybe, "would I smell you?" would be a better question, though posed to someone else.

To relax and fight off the ague from a traveling opportunistic malaise--not to be confused with the stationary one on Capitol Hill--in the arms of Schumann's string quintet, which is just the ticket.
Nine Inch Nails to shed stress and undergo catharsis after a bad day... Bach to code web pages by... Henry Purcell (Arise My Muse) and the soundtrack to American McGee's "Alice" for computer graphics... the Saint-Saens Symphony 3 in C minor, op. 78 - The Organ Symphony for preparing and cooking for large groups, although the 4th movement should be avoided where souffles are concerned... and Monk, Coltrane, Hyman and Peterson for reading by... that's the short list... Tonight, it's NIN The Fragile. It has been a very difficult week...

So... tonight I'm just having some cocoa and crawling into bed with the cat and my iPod (had to mention an 'appliance' of some sort)... Tomorrow I'll reconnect with my vacuum cleaner, as well as my Swiffer mop.

For Meow - the vacuum is a sexy little Miele and I do love it... her... I think of it as a her, but same sex marriage is legal in Canada, so it doesn't disqualify me from human/appliance marriage... Oh! And I just found out I'm getting a beautiful KitchenAid 600 Series Bowl Lift Stand Mixer in Pearl Metalic for my birthday... It's go a whack of kewl accessories like a pasta or a sausage maker (Meow! Check out the whisk and the dough hook!). I believe the the vacuum and the mixer will become good friends and the Miele has already raised the possibility of Polyamory...



 
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