Comrade Neo-conservative Hillary,

If elected to be the Leader of the Free World, would you bring back the ancient Roman post of Imperator? Imperator (English translation=emperor) in Latin only means "first citizen, taken by Rome's first Emperor Augustus. After all, you have already held the title of First Lady, why not First Citizen? Yes, First among equals. Also with DemoKrats trying to take back God and Moral Values, you could do as the Roman First Citizens did, and declare themselves Gods. This would cinch the Pagan vote for sure!

To the Stooge (who, by the way, proves MOST USEFUL again):
You got something there, an ancient, yet timeless feel. I'll keep that on the back burner. But Stooge, can I call you Stooge? What do you think of Patroon? After all I am a bonafide New Yorker now and it has a certain historical ring. Good job!

Hillary

Dearest Comrade H

Where were you when John Kerry was fighting and facing death in the Jungles of Vietnam and Canadabodia? And how many purple hearts did John Kerry get? And what service were you in? While you were writing books about Villages, John had already burned down more Villages than the books you write about. And B***h, is it not true, that you did not even write your own book, but only provided some of the material?

You humble servant,
WCK

To WCK:
Watch it mister! Or you find out what service I was in.

Hillary

I am Larry King, of CNN (Clinton News Network) and tonight we are going to ask Hillary the really tuff questions, that nobody esle will ask. I had to ease up on her a little bit, as too many people had been writing in saying what a mean right wing hate monger, I was. My first question, to Hillary is; Now that you have used your godlike quailities to become Senator, will you still be writing another book? Will, that all the time we have for now.

Larry King:
OK, I give the F**k up, you can ghost-write the next pulp fiction. Just how long have you been kissing my ass, Larry? Have you any self respect? Ok, here's the deal Larry, you write the book, I get ten appearances on your show in the Fall of 2008, and I win the election. Sound Good?

Hillary

Dear Hillary,
I have head that some people prefer to call you Adolf Billary Clinton. What are your opinions on this new name the people have chosen for you?
-Comrade Betty

Comrade Betty:
Don't make me blush! A simple "Heil Hillary" will suffice.

Hillary

Very well, "Heil Hillary!"

Smile when you Heil, Betty, and put a little more snap into it. And remember! No eye contact!

Oh my, look at the time! I have another fundraiser I must attend and George is going to be there........not Bush you idiot. $oro$

Ta-ta 'til next week.

Hillary

Many of our proletarian brethren are unable to afford basic needs like digital cable and black alpha-girl pumps, and yet these poor souls seem to not notice their own condition. I see people every day who have not and probably never will experience the simple joy of getting a full-body massage before soaking in a Jacuzzi full of melted Swiss chocolate while watching Sex and the City on DVD. I try to tell the janitors at my office about how the capitalist exploiters are depriving them of all that is good in life while growing fat on their labor, but they just stare back and mumble that they're satisfied with how they live. How can I bring the revolutionary message to the oblivious workers without directly condemning their meager—but noble—lifestyles?

Full body massage? Jacuzzi? Hmm....I'll let you in on a little secret, shhhh... Janet Reno is out of town. I'll sneak over and you can give me one of those massages and I'll pour some Swiss Chocolate over you in the Jacuzzi. Did I ever tell you how nice your legs look? Well after that and after you write a nice puff piece in the Times, I'll teach you the Revolutionary message in three easy positions that's neither hard on your knees or back. Please just don't tell Janet, OK?

oxoxoxo,
Hillary

Word up gizzle?!?! What will yous be doin fo us hood rats and g's biatch?



Dear Gfizzle,

Say de tay, tippy tippy tay, I need some bling foe my thang? You know whatz I mean? You know whatz I mean? It looks like green muthaf@#ker, now hand it over or youse gonna have a pipe upside da head, and I'm not talking glass trash.

Daz right, hand it over, nize and slow.

$$$$$$$$$$$??????????


Sheee-it sebenteen dollas an fifty tree cent You no f@#king Revolutionary, now get the f@#k outta my site.

Queen Hilareefah

Hillary, that was merely a front to hide all the pain that I have:(...why do you disrespect me? I can't help that I live in the hood repressed by the white man...now I must be repressed by the white communist woman? You want a revolution? I'll give you revolution...remember the proletariat.


Dear Gfizzle,

I am so sorry I hurt your self esteem, I apologize a thousand times. As we all know self esteem is more important than knowledge or manners. It's not that I disrespect you, after all I am the first Black FFLOTUS, it's just that I was trying to make a point and put it into homey speak that you could understand. See? You should be proud you were rolled by ME, Hillary, Patroon Potentate in such proletarian terms. Be proud Mr. Gfizzle because you did contribute to the Revolution, albeit in a small way. I must say, every cent counts, just like your vote. I'm sorry you feel repressed. I know what! My friend Janet Reno is back in town. Why don't you stop by Maureen Dowd's some late evening, put on some of Janet's leather goods and act out your repression in a playful, but not too rough manner with the three of us naughty white communist women? Sound like fun?

Hillary

P.S. By the way, what's in your other pocket?

Gfizzle the Revolutionary wrote:Word up gizzle?!?! What will yous be doin fo us hood rats and g's biatch?



Dear Gfizzle,

Say de tay, tippy tippy tay, I need some bling foe my thang? You know whatz I mean? You know whatz I mean? It looks like green muthaf@#ker, now hand it over or youse gonna have a pipe upside da head, and I'm not talking glass trash.

Daz right, hand it over, nize and slow.

$$$$$$$$$$$??????????


Sheee-it sebenteen dollas an fifty tree cent You no f@#king Revolutionary, now get the f@#k outta my site.

Queen Hilareefah

I didn't understand a single word of that. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE SPEAKING ANOTHER LANGUAGE!

Comrade Betty wrote:

Gfizzle the Revolutionary wrote:Word up gizzle?!?! What will yous be doin fo us hood rats and g's biatch?



Dear Gfizzle,

Say de tay, tippy tippy tay, I need some bling foe my thang? You know whatz I mean? You know whatz I mean? It looks like green muthaf@#ker, now hand it over or youse gonna have a pipe upside da head, and I'm not talking glass trash.

Daz right, hand it over, nize and slow.

$$$$$$$$$$$??????????


Sheee-it sebenteen dollas an fifty tree cent You no f@#king Revolutionary, now get the f@#k outta my site.

Queen Hilareefah

I didn't understand a single word of that. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE SPEAKING ANOTHER LANGUAGE!

Let's try re-education for Gfizzle. Remember, we're all equal.

Comrade Betty & Vladimir!

Since I am the smartest woman who has ever lived, let me translate my conversation in Ebonish with Mr. Gfizzle:

Mr. Gfizzle wanted to contribute to the revolution and he did by a free will donation of $17.43. Since his donation was small in terms of largess, he began to have feelings of repression, which is not uncommon in the lumpenproletariat. I reassured him that a sexual foursome with three white communist women should cure that, since traditional sexual relations within the confines of marriage will certainly be abolished when I become Lord Protector..er I mean President. Thousands of years of monogamy has proved nothing but repression for all people who cannot freely express their true desires. As for Vladimir's comment, I believe he might be heading for the re-education camp. Ebonish, Spanish, French, Tutu, Mandarin, and Cantonese will be the non-official languages in my administration, since English is a tool of the capitalist oppressors. Maybe Vladimir should get some tutoring from Mr. Gfizzle so he can adjust to our Brave New World.

Give 'em Hill

Hillary wrote:Comrade Betty & Vladimir!

Since I am the smartest woman who has ever lived, let me translate my conversation in Ebonish with Mr. Gfizzle:

Mr. Gfizzle wanted to contribute to the revolution and he did by a free will donation of $17.43. Since his donation was small in terms of largess, he began to have feelings of repression, which is not uncommon in the lumpenproletariat. I reassured him that a sexual foursome with three white communist women should cure that, since traditional sexual relations within the confines of marriage will certainly be abolished when I become Lord Protector..er I mean President. Thousands of years of monogamy has proved nothing but repression for all people who cannot freely express their true desires. As for Vladimir's comment, I believe he might be heading for the re-education camp. Ebonish, Spanish, French, Tutu, Mandarin, and Cantonese will be the non-official languages in my administration, since English is a tool of the capitalist oppressors. Maybe Vladimir should get some tutoring from Mr. Gfizzle so he can adjust to our Brave New World.

Give 'em Hill

I have been enlightened! I see how this works. I am in-process of re-educating myself in languages other than the language of capitalism, English. Definitely need to see you become the Great Leader of the USSA in '08!

Supporting the People's choice,
Vladimir Ivanov
Red Journalism Headquarters, Moscow, USSR

Hillary wrote:Comrade Betty & Vladimir!

Since I am the smartest woman who has ever lived, let me translate my conversation in Ebonish with Mr. Gfizzle:

Mr. Gfizzle wanted to contribute to the revolution and he did by a free will donation of $17.43. Since his donation was small in terms of largess, he began to have feelings of repression, which is not uncommon in the lumpenproletariat. I reassured him that a sexual foursome with three white communist women should cure that, since traditional sexual relations within the confines of marriage will certainly be abolished when I become Lord Protector..er I mean President. Thousands of years of monogamy has proved nothing but repression for all people who cannot freely express their true desires. As for Vladimir's comment, I believe he might be heading for the re-education camp. Ebonish, Spanish, French, Tutu, Mandarin, and Cantonese will be the non-official languages in my administration, since English is a tool of the capitalist oppressors. Maybe Vladimir should get some tutoring from Mr. Gfizzle so he can adjust to our Brave New World.

Give 'em Hill

Oh, now I understand... I think...

My Dearest Hillary,

I find myself longing for you more and more everyday. Those thick thighs, that well rounded rear, that lesbo haircut. (I sure hope your not swinging for the other side. Us hetero's need you on our side) I need to be near you, feel you, carress you like no man has ever carressed a shamless, sexless, hypocritical bulldogish woman before. I am tired of spending lonely nights in my bedroom, staring at you in Newsweek magazine with nothing but my fantasies and a paper towel to keep me company. When can we get together and knock boots? I have dug more ditches, swung more shovels and hammers than Bill ever will. Surely that is a turn on. Let me know when we can rendevous.

Forever yours
Ditch Digger.

Dear Double D.

Just to set the record straight (no pun intended) I am Omni-sexual. Discrimination of any sort will not be tolerated in my Administration and that includes sexual preferences! This of course means greater freedom for all the masses. Nevermore will pedophiles, necrophiliacs, incestual, beastial, hetero, homo, polygamist, and onanists like yourself need to worry about being stigmatized by being lumped into a catagory. Your wants and desires are to be realized and celebrated. In this spirit of sexual healing you may stop by Maureen Dowd's apartment any late Friday night and partake in one of our group sessions. Please bring your shovel because Janet broke her broom handle and we need a substitute for it. Make sure it's sanded because I don't like splinters. Be sure to stop by the White House after I'm elected for the Christmas tree decorating. Friends tell me it's like a scene out of "Caligula".

No labels here,
Hillary

Komrade Klinton,

I must say I am perplexed by your choice to appear moderate all of a sudden. I am terrified that you either have forgotten who made you, or you are trying to appeal to the evil Capitalist pig-dogs. Either way, I feel that such behavior is detracting from such a staunch revolutionary such as yourself. Be proud of the party that made you. Remember Komrade Klinton, the party giveth, and the party can taketh away!


You Fool! I AM THE PARTY!

You were a centimeter away from the Gulag buddy! AND THAT"S CLOSER THAN AN IMPERIAL INCH!

OK Hill, take a deep breath
inhale.................
exhale....................
remember your composure..........

I am sorry Koz, let me explain it in simple proletarian terms. I am not a moderate, I am lying. There, see....that didn't hurt. We must use the democratic system to destroy it. Understand now Koz? What the hell do I need to do to convince you people? A Reichstag fire?

Jeezis H. Hillary

Comrade, should all women be forced to wear the burqua?

It is so typical of our western mindset to seek to impose on ethnic minorities our own oppressive notions of gender equality. Western cultural patriarchy is far more insidious in the current post modern, decaying capitalist epoch than at any point in history.

As we know, western women are today subjected to a vicious process of 'normalisation'. Pernicious media systems of cultural control endeavour to reinforce the 'dual systems' exploitation of the patriarchal, capitalist order, and as such keep women in a state of subjugation.

Women are enslaved by aesthetic cultural expectations propagated by bourgeois 'lifestyle' women's magazines which cultivate new markets for make up, diet fads, cosmetic surgery etc, in effect corporations 'police' both the mind and body of the modern western woman, ultimately she is 'commodified' and repressed by sexually exploitative cultural expectations.

In contrast, Islamic culture allows women to wear the burqua, effectively liberating them from the aesthetic 'rat race'. That is why so many enlightened 'sisters' such as Germaine Greer have woken up to the fact that we have much to learn from medieval Islamic culture.

What are your thoughts on this matter?


Dear Smir,


I like your idea of force but you seem to have forgot my "Pretty in Pink" press conference. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I celebrate the vagina and not the penis. I do admit the burqua makes it a bit more "mysterious" as to what's underneath it, but as an officer of the court I have an obligation to uphold "full disclosure".
I suggest you should head to a college campus near you and take in a production of "The Vagina Monologues". Burqua or not, it's the clothes that make the man, not the womyn.

Hillary the Haberdasher

Lest we never forget.

MEMORIAL DAY 2005

http://members.tripod.com/~rcjustice/pres.html


https://www.apfn.org/apfn/count.htm


They made the Supreme Sacrifice for the Common Good TM

Hillary

Are you a lesbian? I think that might make you unequal from the rest of us, because I'm not a lesbian. I'm a man.

Steve, you don't have enough spare change in your pants pockets to pay attention, do you? If you would have read a previous post you would know that I'm OMNI-SEXUAL. I've banged Vince Foster, I've banged Janet Reno. I've humped doorknobs, Buddy the Labrador has humped me. I do not make distinctions where preference is concerned, only a bigot and a (fill-in-the- blank)_____phobe would do that. Come the Revolution, your way of thought will all but disappear, except in the Gulag.

Horny Hillary

Steve wrote:Are you a lesbian? I think that might make you unequal from the rest of us, because I'm not a lesbian. I'm a man.

No one shall burden themselves with sexual genders, soon everyone will be bisexual, and the words male and female will be forgotten forever!


Omni, Comrade Betty, not Bi. You have grasped the main idea though, so I've ordered an extra ration of vodka and two potatoes for you this week. Good Job!

Hillary

Hillary, my comrades and I are looking to institute the Party in our local school community. However, we face a dilema- should we attempt to re-educate students who resist the change, or should we simply remove them? Since you will surely have to deal with this in two years, I thought you could help.

Komrad Andry,

I am glad you asked that because it does take a village nowadays. Resistence? No need for that! Just visit the village pharmacy and tell the pharmacist "resistence" and he'll give you a bucket full of Ritalin. That should cure it, but if it doesn't work, then we can talk deportation.

Dr. Hillary

Komrad Andry wrote:Hillary, my comrades and I are looking to institute the Party in our local school community. However, we face a dilema- should we attempt to re-educate students who resist the change, or should we simply remove them? Since you will surely have to deal with this in two years, I thought you could help.

I also have this problem. However, when I wear clothes featuring the Sickle and Hammer or Che teachers call me a terrorist. This slur doesn't apply to me AT ALL, as I am a respectable comrade in the school. I even represent the smart kids on a team. Thanks.

Marxboatright,

Try the swastika and maybe even a t-shirt of me. That should set them off like Bastille Day.

Hillary

Since you're OMNI-sexual, could you send me a "revealing" picture of yourself?

Waiting Patiently,
Comrade Mike


Sure Mike,

See the PayPal in the left hand margin? Send a nifty-fifty($$$$$) and I'll have Comrade Red Square take care of you.

I'm not that kind of gurl,
Hillary

If Monica Lewinski was a revolution, which one would she be and why?

Also, on a similar note, if given the chance how and where would you like to fight her? Examples: Knife-Fight in the Jungle, Chains in the Alleyway, Boxing Match, etc.

With Love,
Steve


That would be the "French Revolution" .....beret, inhaled, knees, surrendered.

Texas Steel Cage Match for query #2.

Hillary the Hammer

My friend is going to China. Given your knowlegde on revolutions, what should he do over there? Do you have any advice for him?


Stay away from Johnny Huang and Ng Lap Seng, that's an order!
Other than that, take in The Great Wall, see the Forbidden City, and have a nice bowl of snake blood soup.

https://www.flyingchair.net/story.php?storyID=470

Hunan Hillary

oh....and tell Charlie "Ya- Lin" Trie I need another bagman. Hey, maybe your friend can help?

Dear Hillary,

I am a journalist (wink wink) with a mainstream press organization. My question is, would it hurt your cause if we started a "Mainstream Media Party?" At our 2005 Investigative Reporters and Editors Conference (<a href="https://www.variety.com/VR1117923921.html" target="_blank">IRE</a> for short), as we all jumped to our feet to give Dan Rather the resounding "standing 0" he so deserves, I suddenly saw a bright light and lost consciousness. When I awoke, our collective destiny was clear in my eyes! A revolution! A Party of our own! Of course we would remain a sub-party devoted to your success, my fine Comrade.

My only worry is that the time may not yet be for such a bold undertaking. Please advise.

Yours in print,

Comrade Mainstream

There is and will be only one party, The Peoples Party!
-Kommissar Betty

Well, it's been damn near two months and not a single new question.

That proves: A) I'm so smart, I have all the answers.
B) Karl Rove is keeping the liberal press busy on a witch hunt.
C) Bush has nominated a Supreme Court Justice.
D) All of the above


(The answer is "A". Have you forgotten? It's all about me, you fool!)

When you are elected, will you break up The Supreme Court and abolish the Constitution? Will you replace it with a Progressive version of the Loya Jirga, where we have wise elders such as yourself, Jimmy Carter, and Diane Feinstein deciding issues that will impact our daily lives? These institutions have stood in the way of the Progressive Movement for far too long.

Yes, absolutely, but don't mention C. in my presence again. Loya Jirga and a twist of the Peoples Court ala 3rd Reich. Rollie Friesler has already rendered his service, so there won't be any real need for me to be there except for high profile cases that generate media exposure and campaign cash....and by my second term we won't have to worry about that anymore, since the Diktat of the Proletariet will be firmly established and the Village will rule SUPREME!

Thanks for the insightful question.

Hillary

What do you think of Comrade Boxer? Surely there is a place for her in your regime ERRR Administration?

Of course after you wh00p the next punkass Republican pig in the Great Patriotic Election of 2008...

As Always,
Smilin' While Heilin' P.P.


Oh, we have plans to snatch that Boxer in 2008. We don't want to muff the arrangement right now. We will dive into that later.

Hillary

Oh, we have plans to snatch that Boxer in 2008. We don't want to muff the arrangement right now. We will dive into that later.

Hillary

ppphhffftt...hair

I'm comin' to get you, Bitch!

Bitch? You just Can't Understand Normal Thinking!
Bring it on! I'm gonna pour a 55 gallon drum of "Whoop-Ass" all over your skinny butt!

H.

Heil Komrade!

We know that the capitalist dog's concept of "names" is only a tool used to maintain the bourgeois class barrier. Since it would be impossible to steal from the workers to give to the capitalist pigs if no-one had a "name" and we were all truly equal, would you institute the People's egalitarian measure of outlawing forever the elitist practice of "names"?


Names? Where in the hell have you been since the New Deal? Ever hear of "indentity theft"? It isn't your name that's being stolen Mr. XXX-35-7892.

The ONLY name that matters,
Hillary

Ha ha! Check the latest poll. You dropped 15 points, bitch!

You've never been up against someone like me before. Better vaseline back your stringy hair and get your straight razor, cause I'm gonna bring it right to your doorstep in Chappaqua. And you better keep Bill out of Westchester, 'cause we have a few warrants out on that pervert.

Ever heard of Arkancide? You wanna make the list? Check out my Memorial Day post on this string and get back with me. I got Fahmey on speed dial. It CAN be arranged, slut!

Hillary

P.S. Who gives a sh*t about Bill?

Here's a riddle for all the readers out there:

Who has cankles, saddlebags, eyebags, buttsag, flapjack boobies, bad breath, crazy eyes, and likes munching on <a href="https://shagcarpet.com/images/18-52.jpg" target="_blank">THIS?</a>

jeanine pirro wrote:Here's a riddle for all the readers out there:

Who has cankles, saddlebags, eyebags, buttsag, flapjack boobies, bad breath, crazy eyes, and likes munching on <a href="https://shagcarpet.com/images/18-52.jpg" target="_blank">THIS?</a>

I LIKE munching on that...

http://shagcarpet.com/images/18-52.jpg

Jeanine...love ya!

Hillary...hate ya!


Sean, Sean....wait a minute! I don't hate you! I may have said some caustic remarks about you now and then, but it's all part of the game...you know (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) So how about booking me for your show 8 times in the fall of 2006 and 12 times in the fall of 2008?
Sound good? It'll improve your already fantastic ratings and I'll get to spew some conservative bullsh*t and blow smoke up everyones ass. Think of the money Sean....how much do you want? Everybody has a price Sean. Gimme a figure.

H-Bomb

H,

doncha know J and I are tight???

Save the BS pub for CNN no one wants to see ur skank ass on Fox

well maybe Alan and Greta but that's it...die young, stay pretty!!

OOPS! too late!

You may be a "Great American" Sean, but I am a "Greater World Socialist"!!!!!

You're going to pay for this Sean.......I got that old fart buddy of yours, Marty, tied up in a basement, in an undisclosed location outside of Cincinnati. If you don't want to see him hurt or worse yet, maybe even an "Arkancide" you'll cough up the airtime. You have 96 hours to comply.
You forced me to do this Sean, you only have yourself to blame!

Mad as Hell,
Hillary

Hey Hillary, guess who intercepted a "secret song" your hubby wrote? Should make good campaign fodder!

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for all the joy and pain.
Picture shows, second balcony, was the place we'd meet,
You'd suck my meat, what a Dutch treat, you were sweet.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Save those lies, Darling don't explain.
I recall, you rolled up in a ball.
How I spooged on your dress, what a mess, I confess.
That's not all.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane.
I can see, you bent over my knee.
Cigars in your behind, all the time, sniffed them like wine, that was fine.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for blowing me again.
Though we go on our seperate ways,
Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, Danke Schoen.

Danke Schoen, Oh Darling, Danke Schoen.
I said, Thank you for licking me again.
Though we go- on our seperate ways,
Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, Danke Schoen.

Danke Schoen, Auf Wiedersehn, Danke Schoen

You are going DOWN (and not the kind of "down" you like, you muncher!)

Once again Bitch, nobody gives a rat's ass for Bill. It seems you're obsessed with the hillbilly. Better watch out, or the next thing you'll hear is Bill telling you to "put some ice on it".
Well, you have a choice when it comes to ice, you can have some on your lip ala Bill or I can put you on ice. My kinda ice is NOT nice. Republican? You're about as Republican as Arlen Specter, who's going to be playing the bagpipes at your Scottish Funeral.

Hyena Hillary

Well, well, well.......
Musta scared the litlle squint
She ran off, it's been three days. I guess that "RINO" remark hurt.
Awwww....I feel bad now, we have so much in common. We both pretend to be something we aren't and our husbands are assholes <sigh>.
Come back, I Dream of Jeannie!
I didn't mean it, maybe we can be friends and the New Yorkers get screwed.
Heck, either way, friend or foe, the New Yorkers get screwed.

Don't mess with the...

<(I)>
II

H-Bomb

that didn't last long...little tease c***

Hi Hill Honey,

Sorry, I've been busy during the day (and at night). I met this smooth-talking southern lothario uptown the other day, and we've been getting it on ever since. He tells me his wife is a haggard bitch with grotesque cankles and a fetish for old smelly fish. He loves to worship my feet and do as he's told. He has a chest scar from a bypass and a daughter named Chelsea. That's right, I had your man beeatch!!! HA HAHAHAH BWAHAHAHAHAHA

That's right, I had your man beeatch!!! HA HAHAHAH BWAHAHAHAHAHA

like she cares? Jeebus that just means that Hill's snatch is fresh for the next chi...EERRR suitor You just did her a favor skank.

Hey Hill...let's get together...I'll dress up in those Ellen DeGeneres overalls you like so well and we can eat...uumm...never mind...call me!

Hey Hillary,

Welcome back from your vacation in Alaska. I heard you proved that Global Warming is a result of mankind in just three days. Good job. How about looking through a telescope and telling us about the big bang next? It's BIG After that you could tell us whether God exists, I Do how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop, 347 and how many times your husband has banged whores, teenagers and tacky hangers-on? 15,000 (estimate)

You foul, arrogant beast from Hell! Is there any topic that you can't master in a weekend you grotesque fire-hydrant-physiqued butt-plug of a human being? No.

I have worked as a climatologist for my entire life, and I would NEVER DARE to postulate what you have called a FACT. You bitch! Thank You!

PIRRO IN 2006 is gonna get her ass kicked

My responses in red italics....Hillary.
Thanks for stopping by!

Looks like someone needs a timeout...at the Gulag...and a shovel upside the head!

I DENOUNCE YOU, LYING BASTARD OF CAPITALIST SCIENCE!!!

Heilin' and Smilin' P.P.

Hmmmm . . . FOUR days and no response from the little fire-hydrant! Perhaps she is busy checking on the whereabouts of one Southern Male Scamp with the libido of a rabbit? Check Shonna's Massage Parlor on 135th street uptown!

I was having my nails done so I can scratch your sna....eyes out!
Jeannie, can't we be friends? We have so much in common. You still can be Senator in 2006. All you have to do is join my Coup d'etat September 24th. Say yes Jeannie and it's yours.

H

Hey Hill,

My hubby is out of town. Wanna come over, have some margaritas, and bury the hatchet or something similar? You know, oubleday ildosday can be fun! Lesbe friends from now on!

Love and kisses,

Jean

I'm there babe! I like your legs! You're the sweetest Rino I've ever had to deal with. Don't tell Maureen Dowd.....she might get jealous....unless you like threesomes. You gotta try this neat little toy I got in my bag of goodies....It runs on diesel.

xxxxooooo
Hungry Hillary

Loved this article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 79_pf.html

and this quote:

"I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in our entire economy that <b>they're being watched</b>," she said in explaining her call for an inquiry by the Federal Trade Commission. "I think human nature left to itself is going to push the limit as far as possible, and that's what <b>you need a government regulatory system</b> for: <b>to keep an eye on people</b> to make the rules of the game fair, to <b>make a level playing field</b> and not give anybody some kind of undue advantage."

I'm sorry, your point being......what?
I stand by my original quote.
No Stoli for you, come back two years!

Hillary

Mom,

I've never told you this, but I'm ashamed of you and Father. I hope you choke on carpet, you dirty Seahag.

Love,

Chel

That's perfectly fine with me dear daughter, but what is it you got against Webb Hubbell?
It's Ok to Rebel, just don't register Republican.

Mommy

hey Chelsea...what up?? You got a fire I can hose for ya??

Now you listen to may Mrs. Clinton! *huccup* Jost because we ahr in tha same pahrty doesn't mean you ahr *hiccup* tha voice of tha Revolution. Ah'm the liberaherl lion, the chahmpion of tha working man and ah'm *hiccup, hiccup*. Excuse Me. Ahs I was saying, Ah've spent ahver 40 yahrs in the Senate trying to bring tha revolution to fruition and not ahbout to laht some jeannie come lahtely tahke the prominence from me! Ah'm running for tha presidency in 2008 ahnd won't be sharing the spotlight with some piano legs frahm illil, illlino, illos... tha state with a city of Chicago. Ah well be tha great people's leader!


Do you ever see Mary Jo's face at the bottom of a bottle? Keep it up jackass, I'm thinking of a Fall Purge Season, and with you that's something that should have been done a long, long time ago....

Hates Hyannis,
Hillary

Ted Kennedy wrote:Now you listen to may Mrs. Clinton! *huccup* Jost because we ahr in tha same pahrty doesn't mean you ahr *hiccup* tha voice of tha Revolution. Ah'm the liberaherl lion, the chahmpion of tha working man and ah'm *hiccup, hiccup*. Excuse Me. Ahs I was saying, Ah've spent ahver 40 yahrs in the Senate trying to bring tha revolution to fruition and not ahbout to laht some jeannie come lahtely tahke the prominence from me! Ah'm running for tha presidency in 2008 ahnd won't be sharing the spotlight with some piano legs frahm illil, illlino, illos... tha state with a city of Chicago. Ah well be tha great people's leader!

I feel an extension of Purge Season coming on. Ted Kennedy? never heard of him....

You listen to meh private, you cahn have it *hiccup* aht other places but you're naht going to interrupt meh when I'm talkin'! *hiccup*Ah've served tha pahty for many yahrs and won't be tossed ahside like a Trotsky. *hiccup* Ah'm the leberaherl *hiccup* the liberaherl *hiccup* lion and chahmpion of the *hiccup*. Hold thaht thought. Ah think ah need a drink.

Dear Madame Clinton
I have left the democratic party because partly you, partly JOhn Kerry, partly Dick Durbin. I don't feel like I belong in the party because I am patriotic, because I back the military and our police, because the borders should be closed and because I believe hard work and discipline work for anyone. Anything you can tell me to help me?
Defector

yeah...you hear that knock at the door?? Pack your sh*t, you get one bag, it's bohemianlikeyou and the Sercret Police of the Revolution coming to drag your ass off to the Lenin Institute of Re-education. OH YEAH, better pack some Tylenol and a bandaid cuz Kommissar Betty is gonna smack you upside the head with the People's Shovel.

Have a nice trip, a$$wipe.

Don't forget to tell him the train leaves at midnight for the Archipelago.

H.

Hillary,
Can I be part of your revolution? I think I proved with that whole Oil-for-Food kickback scheme with Saddam that I have absolutely no moral scruples - but I can also play submissive, too! Just let me know what I need to do.

- Kofi

Kofi...go f*** yourself.

Have a nice day,

John

(who said I can't be diplomatic?)

Kommissar Betty requesting permission from the Purge Queen herself to purge comrade "Ban This Book" form history.

Hillary, y'all be stupid fly and Hugo da voodoo man gots yo swatter.. hangin', word dat beyatch.

Now, jus thuppose you juxtaposed with me. Here be ma main question; babygirl, wat you be doin' dis friday an who you be doin it with? You best be answerin what I wants to hear cuz Hugo da voodoo man gots your luv babygirl and its all majik, so do you want some of dis here sugah or wat?

Hillary,
Got a few questions for you. I know we've been working a lot of this whole socialist solution, so you know I'm not some sort of arm-chair revolutionist. But do I really have to give up *all* of my money? Couldn't I just give half of it - it's not like instituting a 100% tax on republicans/conservatives wouldn't give us enough.
Second, are we still allowed to 'marry upward?' And for that matter, do you have any plans to 'get rid of' your husband when it becomes convenient? And if so, I don't suppose you have a thing for vaguely-french-looking senators?

- John Kerry

By John Kerry

never heard of him...anyone?? Buehler??

So, Hillary, how is the CPUSA treating you? If anyone gives you trouble there, you can gulag them. Also, there are some willing recruits over at the RCP and the WWP, thanks to me.

On the whole Mother Moonbat thing, Sheehan was just trying to placate the crowd and the Mechevic Trotskists (they are on the way to the gulag right now). She is still for you, hillary.

And, thank you for being in my latest McLenins commercial. Ration card usage at them has jumped by 64%. Trikitos and McLenin burgers are the best sellers. Stalin Freedom Camp fries are also doing well, and the McBreshnev shakes are a great seller.

See you around

---P. Breshnev (only dead in your imagination)

What should I do? There is a new group of communists called the National Boshleveks who want to sweep me and you from power. I can't Gulag them right now, as I need money!

Hill,
When you win in 2008, and we move back to 1600, can Monica still come over??

Bill (anywhere but Chappaqua)...


The answer is yes for obvious reasons. The masses are fascinated by our family dysfunctional appearence. You can let Chelsea bring over her friend Michael Jackson too. Think of the photo ops!
By the way, how's that UN thing going, have you got Kofi compromised yet? What is taking you so long?

Hill (Chappaqua? Oh, yeah....hehehehe, I almost forgot!)

Hillary,

What of NJ? I hear that Komrade Korzine is in a tough race with the Captialist pig dog Forrester! Corzine is running on HIGHER taxes!! How can anyone NOT vote for him?!

I wish to know what the party needs me to do in the county of Bergen to help the cause. Rest assured, I've already rigged half the machines in the state to come up for Corzine.

-Koz

Greetings fellow Comrades and your most absolute excellency Comrade Hillary,

I am a new member at the cube and I hail from The Peoples Commonwealth of Virginia and I have excellent news to report. Just recently on the glorious November Election day Revolution, my fellow Demokrat apparatchiks and I have selected Comrade Tim Kaine to serve as our proletarian governor to free us from the likes of the evil and wretched Republican controlled legislator who wishes to give us tax breaks, encourage pro-business economic growth and completely and utterlessly destroy the good name of you Comrade Hillary.

Oh praise be to the revolution and the good-think concepts of progressive ideals! Oh Comrade Hillary, you would love Comrade Kaine so much and I hear him and his wife are having marital problems and she might become available before to long for you our most absolute excellency!

Please Comrade Hillary, send all us Demokrats a word of hope and praise for our efforts here, I have worked hard within the offices of the party and me and my fellow apparatchiks have done everything to ensure that even the deceased vote will be counted.

For the glory of the socialistic progressive liberalized overwhelming bureaucratic Revolution!!!

Yours FOREVER,
Chairman Meow-Say-Pun

P.S- Tell Soros to wire us some more money, we had to pay out to much this election to get these inner-city folks out to the polls....


Here it is....are you ready?......Hope & Praise.
You're gonna hafta kiss ass a ton more than that sweetie!
We'll do lunch sometime....
Shit, Virginia, might as well been Arkansas.

Hillary

Miss Hillary,

You seem very nice. But i've got a bad feeling about all this. What reassurances can you give me?

Is this some kind of sass talk?
Ok, here is your "reassurances".
Don't vote for me and expect a knock on the door about 2AM, make sure your one suitcase is packed and don't bother to write a farewell note to your family....after all your just another Joe Blow. Verstehen Sie?

Mez Hellary...

Hoew long sense yu un Billy dun had sexual intercorse? Or with anybudy??

Doesn't my husband know you? I'm sensing in the biblical manner. It's OK, he had his shots, put some ice on it.

Ah haes not ben given no guvment chek fo sum time. Aen i has herd thet yu knows whet cen be dun.

Catch the Greyhound to New Orleans. Tell 'em Ray sent you.

H.

Deer comrad Hillery.

Tank u in comrad Bil fo awl the wunderfol tings u did for da edukashional sistim' becauze of u i hav now gadeuated wifth honurs in hav ben accpeted to haverd loaw basd on my progeessirve breleafs+ awl otders dat sayd thdey was smatyr thyn me hav ben resjeected becouse thy lyked that old mayn Regan from da eeghtiies- i prays u an da wunderfol demoratic patty fo awl yoor hayrd werk,

tank u laady and mr mayn bil

Comrad susie stupyd

Oh, pardon me while I wipe a tear from both my eyes. Success stories such as yours Susie are so heart moving....and proving Democratic Socialism Works! Glory be to the Village for now and forever! Awomyn!

Hillary

Hello Cubeies!
I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, but those of you close enough to me to know, when Election Day and Halloween approaches, I undergo a metamorphosis, not unlike Kafka's dung beetle, but more like Lon Chaney Jr's Wolfman. Hair starts growing out of my knuckles, my finger nails grow long, my teeth turn into fangs, my camel toe becomes humongous and I have an uncontrolable urge to politically campaign for anybody as long as they pledge fealty to me. Republicans claim they can't notice or tell a difference in me, but for me it's pure hell campaigning for somebody else other than ME.
Dr. Malek has been giving me injections leftover from Dr. Morell's secret stash he had for Hitler and I've had much improvement these past few weeks.
I'm looking forward to the Yule/Kwanzaa/Some Jew Holiday season and by golly with the help of the ACLU we can finally eradicate this phoney holiday known as "Christmas" this year! This of course doesn't mean we'll be getting rid of the "Christmas Tree", we'll just rename it the Wiccanbaum. After all, we have all those condoms, cock rings, and anal teasers that we've been saving throughout the year for decorating the tree on this very special occasion. The whole Cube is invited for this wonderful tradition started by me and don't forget to bring the KY Jelly.

Ho Ho Ho Hillary!

Dearest Comrade Hilly,

Chimpy Booshitler offends me and, I'm sure, the sensibilities of every member of the revolutionary vanguard. He jumps up and down with his cowboy hat. He smiles. He waves his little monkey hat in the air. And he looks at me with those beady little eyes like he knows he's untouchable.

I can't take it anymore. Are you of the opinion that Booshitler is in need of re-education? Perhaps - as they say - a little "treatment?"

For the Glorious Socialist Future,

-Bubbles

How come you guys let Ted "The Swimmer" Kennedy question Alito on ethics, what are you guys, stupid?

HITLARY (SORRY) HILLARY HAS FALLEN ILL. SHE WAS UNABLE TO SEE THE DIFERENCE BETWEEN NATIONAL SOCIALISM AND INTER NATIONAL SOCIALISM . BUT NOT TO WORRY SHE IS IN GOOD HANDS AND FOR THE MOMENT NO INFO WILL BE GIVEN OUT TO YOU (THE MASSES). SMERSH HEAD OF KGB.

Glorious Leader,

In glorious old days, of the great Khrushchev and Brezhnev, we had only to write simple letters to politburo in order to aquire, shall we say, "implements of revolution"(plus trunk load of ammunition!) Now, Comrade Putin and even YOU, glorious leader ask for "contributions" in exchange for these implements.

What has happened to priorities of revolution? We send letter to your office, requisitioning "implements". We recieve bill for $25,000...and pre-paid at that! You claim to be our leader, but you do not provide us with our basic need, "implements", unless we pay money that simple, honest, travellers simply do not have! $25,000? If any of us had that kind of disposable income, we wouldn't be a rabid pack of disenfranchised Marxist revolutionaries, now would we? Hell no, we'd be sitting on fancy beach with Chairman Dean, or in posh ski chateau with Commrade Failure, er, Kerry. Instead, we sit here, in stinking basement, 10 revolutionaries to a room, no hot water, no clean clothes, no electricity, DAMN IT BITCH, WE AIN'T EVEN GOT SUNLIGHT!

How are we to secure polling stations come Novemeber and beyond? Wool socks filled with washers? We don't even have the socks, let alone the washers! Furthermore, in spare time I have done research, and "implements" of the Model 74 variety can be had for as little as $500 a piece! We asked you for one shipment of 25 "implements". At best price, that would still come out to only half the ammount you ask of us!

Some of the adherents here in North East Sector are becoming disillusioned by lack of supplies such a cruel capitalist display on the part of leaders such as yourself, Chairman Dean, Commrades Kennedy and Kerry, and Commrade Soros, aka, People's Bank. Commrade Sheehan makes soapbox out of son's coffin, and you all make big fuss. Dinners. Dancing. Tropical Vactions. Large gift baskets of assorted cheeses, chocolates and muffins! What has SHE done? Make fool of her self in public and weaken People's Cause, that's what! While we, the True Vanguard of Revolution sit in stinking basement and play solitaire with deck of 51, watching toes freeze off!
Where is Global Warming as promised by Commrade Gore? We suffer while bastard Bill makes friends with Imperialist Bushes. NYET!

We are strong of will, and rich in spirit, but if such disapointments are to be the norm in organized People's Struggle, then perhaps we would be better served to align ourselves with the Imperialist Bushes as well! Perhaps join National Guard, dah? They will give us "implements". They will give us warm beds, hot water and food, socks without holes in toe, AND SUNLIGHT, GLORIOUS SUNLIGHT, HOW I MISS YOUR WARMING TOUCH!!!!!

Ahem, do not take this as ANYTHING other than simple illustration of the dangers of low morale amongst Revolutionary Vanguard. We could never join imperialist US Army, but desertions could be possible, if not probable if relief does not come soon.

Best Wishes, Long Live Glorious Struggle, and Glorious Revolution, and Glorious People's Leader,

Commandant Ivan Jerkinov,

AMSOC Sector Chief,
New England Soviet Socialist Republic


I am sorry about the state of low morale, therefore I am sending Janet Reno and Maureen Dowd over to your basement for some oral pleasure. I hope you like mowing shag carpet.

H.

NYET!

Reno is man, and Dowd is pruned-up bottle red with shrill voice and empty head!

UNEXCEPTABLE!

Unless you want mutiny, send us those two lovely lefty-headcases Aniston and Jolie!

Aniston enjoys sleeping in dog bed, so our accomodations will surely be to her liking. And as for Jolie, well, look at her mouth!

Enough said!


Respectfully,

Commendant Ivan Jerkinov

AMSOC Sector Chief, New England Soviet Socialist Republic



Those two are out of town right now. How about Barbara Streisand? You and a comrade can play "Chinese Finger Cuffs" with her. She likes that! She also has a very special talent where she sings "People" while manually manipulating your manhood. Wear protection though. (She's been with my husband in the biblical sense, you don't know what you might catch) If you pound on her hard enough you can actually un-cross her eyes. You don't want to do it too often though. Once she begins to start seeing things straight, she might begin to think straight and we don't want to lose a useful idiot, do we?

Funny Girl,
Hillary

NYET!

That's it, we mutiny now!

There are so many young and attractive Bolshivette whores running around the entertainment industry these days for you to send on "morale boosting" trip to People's Revolutionary Vanguard, yet now you insult us with offer of digusting, disease ridden, over-the-hill, illiterate hag.

This Red Faction is CLOSED!

OK, OK.....I understand. Babs is a little long in the tooth, how about Jeanine Garawfulho? She's cute in her own special way! She's younger! C'mon, toss a poor dog a bone fellas!

Monty Hillary
(what's behind door #2?)

NYET!

Garafallo is hack "comic"(if you find 20 minute rants about ovarian cysts funny), who built entire career by serving as Ben Stiller's "booty call"...until of course, Mr. Stiller got rich and famous, no longer requiring booty call, and married, at which point Garafallo's career declined into it's current state of airing radio show to 9 people nation wide.

We're not even sure she even likes men anymore(or ever did), and thus doubt her willingness to serve as morale booster for embittered Red Factions.

No cash, no perks, no hot, slutty, Bolshivette tail...screw this, I'm getting a job and joining the National Guard!

Screw you AND your revolution,
Resigned Sector Chief Ivan

Comrade Ivan:

Trolling around the Cube I have come across your desperate plea for a "morale booster". Her Socialist Majesty H*llary R. Clinton has tried to appease your needs with many eligible semi-single Party members who are more than happy to give themselves for the glory of the revolution. I understand your reasons for rejecting such hideous gutter trash and why you have moved to resign........ NO! I DONT UNDERSTAND!!! How could you renounce the Party !? Is'nt tax increases, open borders, unionized everything and the watchful eyes of the nanny-state far more important than "cash,perks and or Bolshivitte booty" Lenin help us all, you sound like a REPUBLICAN advocating incentives for hard work, HOW DARE YOU!!! How could you turn down the more than generous offers presented by Her Excellency H.R.C???

The Party is always right Comrade, no matter what position our leaders may have one day or the next, they are always right, tis the way of the Demokratik Party. It is your Party and my Party and we must hold it dear to our bosoms and always remain loyal. One day Comrade, after the revolution, the Amerikan people will sit in glory as Comrade Clinton reigns over the feudal state enslaving all of us under the yoke of socialism within the peoples working paradise where high taxes, superb re-education and social acceptance of omi-sexual and deviant sexual practices become the standard bearer amongst the nations of the uncivilized world.... Stay Comrade, and help make that tommorow today.

Stay strong Comrade or be ready to find yourself in academia undergoing re-education.....
The Party Hand-puppet,
Chairman Meow

Komerade Frau-fuheress Hitlery! Ve hav a problem. Vhile my bold soldiers were attempting to reskue ze prizonors held by ze terrorizt movment "Swordz of Demokracy", zhe unit I vas kommanding fell victim to an IED! I now have 6 soldierz in Kritikal Kondition, which I hav already noted Komerade Doktor Fuku. Howevar, I also hav news zhat zhe frontal assault led by ze Afrkia Korps haz bekome bogged down! VE NEED SUPPORT! KAN ZE PARTY SPARE ANYTHING TO DESTROY ZE ZIONISTS? ANYTHING VOULD BE VELCOME!

Reichfuher SS Hit H. Ead wrote:Komerade Frau-fuheress Hitlery! Ve hav a problem. Vhile my bold soldiers were attempting to reskue ze prizonors held by ze terrorizt movment "Swordz of Demokracy", zhe unit I vas kommanding fell victim to an IED! I now have 6 soldierz in Kritikal Kondition, which I hav already noted Komerade Doktor Fuku. Howevar, I also hav news zhat zhe frontal assault led by ze Afrkia Korps haz bekome bogged down! VE NEED SUPPORT! KAN ZE PARTY SPARE ANYTHING TO DESTROY ZE ZIONISTS? ANYTHING VOULD BE VELCOME!

I have dispatched a legion of the New Peoples Red Army Nixon clones to assist you in your time of need. Don't worry about sending them into death traps, they have no will of their own, use them just like you would useful idiots, or democrats.

-Kommissar Betty

I Zalute ze Partee in zhis hour of dezparation. Ze Frontline haz been stabilized. Howevar, ze cost vas very high. Zhough I am getting new cazualty reports around ze clok, it is clear we hav lost at least 48% of all our forcez. I do not even vant to think about vhat vould hav happened had zee Red Army aid not arrived vhen it did. Ze men still alive are unruly and angry. Ve vould hav used ze Commizars to shoot zhem, but zhey are about all ve hav left. Ve are not avare ov any reports indicating ze Swordz of Demokracy (from know on, to konserve ze toliet paper I am uzing az stationary, to be reffered in my reportz az ".S.O.D.") hav handed ze prizonerz over to ze rezistence, but zhat kould change at any moment. My forces need time to regroup and resupply. Howevar, I am tranzmitting ze planz of vhat ve are kalling now (until Komerade Khairperson Fraufuheress Hitlery givez uz zhe official name) Operation Glass Chicken.

Ze objectivez of Operation Glass Chicken are zhe followingk:

1. Clean Alpha Cave Syztem of .S.O.D. fighterz. Zheese tunnels have a very good view of ze battlefield, and vill be important to planningk our next moves.

2. Destroy ze .S.O.D. main base at Canyon #1313131313131313M95. Az far az our Gheztapho agents hav been able to determine, zheis iz ze enemy's Forvard Kommand Post. Ze capture or deztruction of zhis vill greatly hamper zhere ability to kontakt and kommand zere forcez.

3. Kill Kheiftan Abdul Lamar Al Fazama. He zeems to be zhe lokal .S.O.D. Kommander, and I hav a feelingk he vas direktly responsible for zee IEDs zhat hav slowed zhe advance. Hiz death vill kriple zhe enemy in zhe immediate area.

4. Seize Village Kodenamed Alphabetakappaphi. Vee are knot shure if zhis village iz alligned vith zhe .S.O.D. terrorists yet, but zhey seem to be gettingk a great deal of reinforcements from somevhere in zee area, and zhis iz zee only human settlement in a 22,000 kilometer radius, so it iz zee most likley kandidate.

5. Klean out kave systemz Beta, Gamma, Luna, India, Echo, Texcoco (vhy did I name vone of zhem zhat?), Sarajevo, and Kappa of ze .S.O.D. Ve arn't sure vich vone of zhese haz ze prizonerz, if any, but our spiez hav seen ze enemy movingk vast amounts of zupplies into ze caves, so ve must investigate!

I need time to rest zee men, so zee operation kannot be effectivly launched until April 9th Pacifik Standard time. Vhe hav until zhen to discuss our taktiks. Howevar, if ve do not hear back vrom you or reach an agreement on taktiks, or lose kontact vith you etc. by zhe 17th, zhen vee vill be vorced to attack usingk our best guesses.

Again, thanx for zhe Nixon Klones!

Yours Warmly, Reichfuher SS Hit H. Ead

PS Kan you have Doktor Fuku on standby? Ve have a kill ratio of 1:7 in favor ov us, but zey breed like wabbits. Ve expect heavy Kasualties!