13 Russians and 63 million Trump voters indicted

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Mueller charges 13 Russian nationals, formerly known as Trump fans, and 63 million Americans, for meddling in US elections by voting for the wrong candidate.

The Justice Department announced the indictment of 13 "Russian nationals," aka Trump fans who've been observed consuming Russian dressing, for meddling in the 2016 presidential election. Intelligence estimates show there are tens of millions of Trump fans associated with Russian aims to get Donald Trump elected. Some of these people speak Russian, and other soon-to-be-extinct white men and women still insist on voting. DOJ refers to Trump voters henceforth as Russian nationals, spies, intelligence agents, colluders, and just plain evil. They helped this illegitimate president win by unjustly going to the polls.

“Defendant's operations included supporting the presidential campaign for then-candidate Donald J. Trump and disparaging Hillary Clinton,” according to the indictment.

Mr. Mueller added that up to 63 million Americans who disparaged Hillary Clinton by voting wrongly can expect a fate the same as the Russians, er, white males, and will get deported back to Moscow where they belong. Mr. Mueller did not rule out capital punishment. The assembled reporters wearing Hillary 08 lapel pins rose in unison, stamped their feet and cheered, as MSNBC's Chris Matthews vibrated in the front row as he was having thrills run up his legs.

The indictment stated that these foreign agents, aka, white men and women wearing MAGA hats, wrote anti-Hillary diatribes in the reader's comments in the nation's conservative journals and on the GOP website. To add insult to injury, they not only refused to watch the Fareed show on CNN, but congregated among other like-minded "Russians" at Tea Party events to freely spread vile, poisonous, unnatural and treasonous ideas right out of the US Constitution, Thos Paine's Common Sense, Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, the Bible, and the Federalist.

The indictment said that some defendants “communicated with unwitting individuals associated with the Trump campaign named Donald Jr., Ivanka, and an evil Little Me midget only identified as 'Baron,'...” without disclosing their links to Russian dressing, subversive books by Leo Tolstoy, and sour pickles imported from Volvograd.

Justice said the individuals were given more than 1 ruble to be split among themselves by a Russian who is a close ally of President Vladimir Putin, or Sasha Baron Cohen, or Jackie Mason - take your pick - to fund the anti-Clinton campaign.

The indictment charges all defendants with conspiracy to defraud the Clintons, Barack Obama, and Nairobi, Kenya, all of whom correctly voted for Hillary. Most disturbingly, said Mueller, all they got for their efforts after having spent $1.2 billion for the campaign were red MAGA baseball caps. Three other defendants were charged with conspiracy for having an opinion other than that approved by the Reverends Jeremiah Wright, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton. Five defendants were charged with aggravated FAKE NEWS that departs from the Current Truth which states that the US economy is in free fall and Hillary Clinton is the nation's legitimate president.

The indictments are the most significant development to date in special counsel Robert Mueller's ongoing probe into Russian meddling. In an addendum Team Mueller has also disclosed the existence of 4787 not yet-identified hookers, all named Olga, and all of whom said that Donald Trump has groped them right after the Great War. Reportedly they are still holding in their bladders.

The president repeatedly dismissed charges that Russia got him elected, calling it “a hoax” and “fake news” - despite unanimity among the three of seventeen US intelligence chiefs led by Obama appointees (the other fourteen, or 97% of global warming deniers, have not yet agreed to the unanimity). Hillary and Bill Clinton, Eric Holder, Loretta Lynch, Susan Rice and Valerie Jarrett, agreed unanimously and collectively that these 13 Russians with the collusion of FOX NEWS - a Russian propaganda outlet - and 63 million other Trump fans (Russian agents) pulled levers at the polls throughout the Glorious Fatherland at the urging of Komrade Putin.

And that is WHAT HAPPENED!

The illegal voting by Trump fans under Russian control to get a Russian spy elected to the nation's highest office was a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy against Hillary Clinton, Mueller said. He added, "After all Hillary did win the presidency and the popular vote of Mahattan's Upper West Side, Brooklyn's Park Slope, and Berkeley and Hollywood. It would be proper for these areas to choose America's president, after all the rest of the nation are morons and should have no say in the matter" said Mueller.

Standing proudly in front of the nation's cameras with James Comey and Loretta Lynch at his side, Mueller reminded the nation as he pointed to his lapel pin, that "I AM WITH HER." The assembled mainstream media cheered him on as the team stood in front of the sign behind the podium that stated "He's Not My President."

Mueller charges Russian nationals for meddling in US election

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Kommissar Chernobylski,

I don't think it is earthly possible for a narrative to be more precise than the one you presented.

I am only respectfully requesting to present my equation to your most EQUAL post.

Ok… goes………

X = $1.35 which equals the average between .50-2.00 which is the billing unit charged for a twitter ad per tweet which is when the twitterer tweets the twitter ad to another twitterer. If the recipient twitterer retweets the received twittered ad and retweets it again the original twitterer has to pay aprox. $1.35 on average per tweet at the current market rate for the program they chose.

OK….Now……stay with me here…….

$274,100 is what RT (the Russian u.s.electionoverthrowerwannabeesof2016) spent on TWITTER to “influence” the election……so ……

RT = $274,100

T (the registered users of Twitter) = 175,000,000 million

RV (Registered US voters as of 2016) = 200,000,000

MKULTRA = 202,962 (the number of Twitter retweeters out of 175 million that saw the Russian Collusion)

? = the Gruber % of the population


RT / X = T-MKULTRA = ?

But wait, there's more………..

WTF!? = $6.7 million which is what Mueller has spent in 8 months to tell us the Russians spent $274,100 in 2016 to SWAY the election. In what direction, I don't know. I would think after the sweet uranium deal they wouldn't want Trump. Just saying.

But wait, there's more!……………….

Follow me down the dark path where the 13 Russians that don't seem to have a physical address where they can be arrested at if what they did, buying twitter ads was in fact against the law. You will see how this ‘influence' works………………

(Where is that Genosse Dummkopf? He needs to see me flex my math muscles.)

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[color=#C0392B]Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin[/color], who is apparently the mother of [color=#C0392B]Baby Ivan[/color], wrote:(Where is that Genosse Dummkopf? He needs to see me flex my math muscles.)

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Russian hackers are even disrupting surgeries in progress! This security footage reveals the horrifying details. This could be happening at your local polling station!

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FACTS ARE FACTS: Trump met with a Russian submarine captain.


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It's all too much. Or not enough. I cannot be sure. Do we have a propaganda pamphlet that covers this? I need direction and motivation (aside from Beet collection) so I will know what to think. (Is thinking allowed?) Do the Russians have to be indicted? Can't they be excused for being overly enthusiastic? They had Komrad Hillarys best interest at heart. Since I failed to show up on Vote day and cast my votes for the Hillary will I also be indicted as an unintentional Dispagarer? This is likely Deplorable on my part but I was indisposed that day as someone had stolen all my Baskets.

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Evidence of Russian collusion... Shhhh... On the need to know basis only.

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Red Square wrote:FACTS ARE FACTS: Trump met with a Russian submarine captain.

Bwaaahaahaahaaahaahaahaaahaahaahaaa! Ha! Frrrrrrp!

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I'm assuming he's exhausted his search of the animal kingdom and was finally forced to turn his attention to the real suspect.