COMRADES!

Aside from our Current Ascendency into the Progressive World Of Next Tuesday™, there has been much reflective self-flagellation, chatter and clucking coming from the now extinct Rethuglikkkans as to why they lost.

Some individuals are clucking that the Rethuglikkkans are "too white", old, male, and stuck in a 50's-style moral time warp; that they are 'out of touch' with what has become "mainstream". Conservatism is dead, they say. It's no longer relevant as moral equivalence and relativism has taken its place. Minorities have fled the Rethuglikkkans in droves as they flock back to the New Plantation™ of Next Tuesday™.

Other pundits, who refer to themselves as "moderates" and those on the left, have taken up the high-minded chore of offering their analysis and sage advice on what the Rethuglikkkans should do next to "rebrand" themselves to become 'winners'. Imagine the devil himself giving you 'good' advice when all the Rethuglikkkans needed to do was heed the prophetic call of Obamafone Lady as she waved her Obamafone in our faces praising his O'holy name.
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With Rethuglikkkans still reeling and stinging from their defeat, they quickly try to scramble into lockstep with the rest of the Regime. No time to regroup as the political blackmailing begins, John Boner springs into action with the new paradigm we should get behind.

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This is the New and Improved John Boner. Of course he looks a little like Santa O'bama-claus, but he's nothing more than a cheap, petty imitation. He doesn't have the slick charm and appeal of the Real Deal™.

At first glance, one notices the once strange orange skin has turned a shade of envious green, along with distorted facial features wrought from years of Rethuglikkkan hate-speech preaching about deficits, gay 'marriage' bans, tax cuts for everyone, job growth and fighting Islamic terrorists. These non-issues have relegated the Rethuglikkkans into the ash bin of history, thus requiring Mr. Boner to "get with the program".

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This is the New Standard Of Rebranding John Boner has decided the Rethuglikkkans will from this point forward take. There is no hope of ever getting rid of the charge of the Rethuglikkkan Party being "too white", as demonstrated here.

However, certain kinds of "white" are better than others. For Mr. Boner, this is a leap in the right direction. Comrades, we need to synchronize and get in step!

ONWARD NEW PLANTATION™(!)

Comrades, I am all in favor of an appropriate and long overdue re-branding of the RethuggliKKKan Party logo/symbol. Might I suggest:

This new logo reflects - in action - the true nature of the submission the RethuggliKKKans have come to call their own.

I suppose "white-hispanic" carries too much baggage. They are all after all pre-emptive vigilantes. And raaaacist. And probably anti-ladyparts. Otherwise, here's a logo that might work, conveying the fact of extinction of the Grand Old Party *spit* while at the same time reminding The [older progressive] People™ that once upon a time there was oil.

Ah yes, Comrade Marx,

A fitting symbol for the decrepit, extinct Party of the E-vile, greedy rich White People who believed in a work ethic, family values and morality, love of country and God. Such things are SOOooo blasé bourgeois as compared to the modern, hip and progressive, no holds barred beautiful world of Next Tuesady™ We are finally FREE, Comrade!

And yes, a reminder of that substance known as 'oil' will be included in such Childrens™ bedtime stories fitting for use on Halloween.

(They DO use oil for our new Spandex™ one piece, right?)