Cecil's killer blames photographers, selective editing

Famed lion killer, Dr. Walter Palmer, the American tourist who went to Zimbabwe and murdered Cecil the Lion, has taken a page from the Planned Parenthood's playbook and is blaming the bias of the anti-hunting photographers who have edited their footage to sensationalize the story.

In an interview to be aired this Sunday with ABC's George Stephanopoulos, Dr. Palmer is calling for Nancy Pelosi, congressional Democrats, and the Justice Department to launch an immediate investigation into the Zimbabwe nationals who took the now famous photos of Dr. Palmer's kill.

George Stephanopolous: Did you murder Cecil in cold blood?

Dr. Palmer: The only guilty party are the undercover photographers who are trying to entrap me and they have been completely unsuccessful. That's why they are showing these highly edited photographs to be sensationalized. It's completely taken out of context... The folks behind this, in fact, are part of the most militant wing of the anti-hunting movement that has been behind, you know, the bombing of hunting farms... That's what actually needs to be -- to be looked at.

Dr. Palmer goes on to explain the humanity of his killing by saying that all the leftover parts of the Cecil's carcass have been harvested and fed to the less privileged starving animals.

"My killing of Cecil is for the greater good," Dr. Palmer continued. "Africa is suffering from animal inequality, where privileged lions are at the top of the food chain, destroying the families of the disadvantaged hoofed animals and harassing their entire vegan collectives with impunity and with no animal advocacy group protecting their rights. Think of me as the animals' Robin Hood, warrior for animal justice, taking from the rich and giving to the poor. The killing of Cecil was an act of compassion that will better serve the animal equality of Next Tuesday."
 

If Cecil the Lion was unborn, it would be totally ok though. Has anyone else noticed the name irony? Cecil the Lions story running interference for Cecile Richards? Vast Right Wing Conspiracy???
 

OksanaTheTerrible

If Cecil the Lion was unborn, it would be totally ok though. Has anyone else noticed the name irony? Cecil the Lions story running interference for Cecile Richards? Vast Right Wing Conspiracy???
Cecil the Lion and Cecile the Lying
 

Remember kids, it's only ok to kill them BEFORE they're born!
 

OksanaTheTerrible

Remember kids, it's only ok to kill them BEFORE they're born!
Au contraire, comrade. Many enlightened academics, such as Peter Singer, have said that products of conception are subject to termination up to the age of one year post-birth if they prove to be a nuisance an intolerable burden. Some have set the disposability age even later, to 18 months or two years. Myself, I would set the cutoff (pun!) to the age of reason for humans, i.e., 35 or so.
 

RedDiaperette

OksanaTheTerrible

Remember kids, it's only ok to kill them BEFORE they're born!
Au contraire, comrade. Many enlightened academics, such as Peter Singer, have said that products of conception are subject to termination up to the age of one year post-birth if they prove to be a nuisance an intolerable burden. Some have set the disposability age even later, to 18 months or two years. Myself, I would set the cutoff (pun!) to the age of reason for humans, i.e., 35 or so.

A similar story titled A Modest Proposal by a pre-Cube satirist named Dr. Jonathan Swift (who also famously wrote of a Christian White Male named Gulliver who imposed his self-righteous moral beliefs on foreign cultures) also ran along those lines during the fist half of the eighteenth century. Of course he wrote his parody in jest whereas more enlightened members of The Party ™ are quite serious.
 

RedDiaperette

OksanaTheTerrible

Remember kids, it's only ok to kill them BEFORE they're born!
Au contraire, comrade. Many enlightened academics, such as Peter Singer, have said that products of conception are subject to termination up to the age of one year post-birth if they prove to be a nuisance an intolerable burden. Some have set the disposability age even later, to 18 months or two years. Myself, I would set the cutoff (pun!) to the age of reason for humans, i.e., 35 or so. I assume that you are assuming in regard to the assumable age of reason for good comrades and other true believers, korrekt thinkers, and fellow travelers (especially the traveler in charge of the vodka rations) to be 35 or so. For Republicans and other odious right-wingers who never achieve the age of reason, we must assume that there is no cut off (until we do the cutting).
 

Well they do have the "doorbell ditch" rule till age 13 I think. You can leave a kid at a hospital or church. Personally, it should be ok to kill them until they move out.
 

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El Presidente - running with the herd!
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