Condensed version of Obama's SOTU

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The toiling workers and peasants of the American Union marked the historic 7th Obama government year with new successes in economic development and unparalleled advancement of the people's well-being and cultural awareness. It was the most audacious, revolutionary year of my auspicious, historic presidency.

Guided solely by the Party and its beloved leadership, America has become ideologically pure and organizationally integrated, with the leader as its one and only center. We have largely overcome factionalism and opportunistic ideological trends of all hues. My only regret is that there still remain isolated hotbeds of Republican resistance, who are doing tremendous harm to the unity of the revolutionary ranks.

This is one more reason why the American workers, peasants, and unwashed toiling intelligentsia must continue their selfless, historic struggle to achieve the single-hearted unity of the nation centered on the leader, by carrying out, without an inch of deflection, the lines and policies put forward by the leader.

Our enemies continue to spread lies, saying that Obama came to America to work the issues Americans just couldn't care less about. This is not true. What can be more important to American workers and peasants than gay marriage, global warming, war on women, and bringing more Muslims into this country? Enthusiastic support from American toiling masses has allowed me to make America a global leader in all of these areas.

And in the last year of my presidency, it is my will and determination to turn America into an economic giant and a civilized nation at the earliest date possible. Under my wise leadership, vast networks of roadways will crisscross America for the enjoyment of all. Automobiles will no longer be just the playthings of the idle rich, but will be there for everyone. And before this year is over, public schools will be available for free to every child in every corner of America.

Next, our plan is to start developing all the cultural sectors including sports, literature, film-making, and popular music as appropriate to a civilized nation, to open up a new heyday of civilization in the 21st century. Already, as a result of the people's heroic struggle and the Party's caring leadership, films produced by studios in Hollywood, California, are gaining international recognition. But there's more! Songs performed by American workers and peasants can be found at the top of global music charts and are being downloaded in record numbers by international listening masses.

All economic indicators are also up. Due to our careful central planning, we have completely eliminated unemployment. The population of workers out of the workforce has gone down from astronomical ten million to merely ninety-three million. The miraculous success of ObamaCare is also born of the heroic and selfless struggle of our people, who turned out in the general offensive for their country's healthcare. The costs of healthcare for the workers are now dramatically down from the previous annual 2.3 trillion to only 4.1 trillion today, and are projected to go down more further faster!

On the international front, America's standing in the world is the best it has been in decades. Worldwide polls show that the liking and respect for this great nation has risen from a meager 62% before I took office to a whopping 7% today - a magnificently dramatic increase by any measure. Make no mistake: this new respect for America is the result of selfless, devoted efforts of the Party and its leaders to struggle for the victory of world peace, which has brought us global stability the world has never seen.

Domestic peace, too, has been greatly advanced. Again, the numbers inspire full confidence in the final victory over our enemies. Only victory and glory is in store for those advancing under my leadership.

In sum, the State of the Union is stronger than ever and you have every reason to be optimistic and proud of the wise central planning and guidance of me, who has made this nation the most prosperous and powerful on this planet.

You may stand, clap, and thank me now.

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The more condensed version:

Everything is still Bush' fault.

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The sound of one hand doing something and I don't want to even imagine what.

For the sake of pleasing one's eyes in the most equal way possible ™, I have put myself to work in the Gulag to find something worth posting.And I have, komrades!

Amerika Fikken Ja!

Image In other words, congratulations, Americans! You have managed to stay blind to your oppressors to the very end, and now you are going to get some NEW oppressors! Golly, that sounds fantastic!

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Dear Leader is so great! He brought peace upon the world! He gave us all jobs! He is our happiness! Without Dear Leader there would be no happiness! Without the Obama US there would be no happiness! I am SO PROUD of Dear Leader and the Glorious Things he has done for us!

I am saddened to the point of suicide of others and myself to know the fact that Dear Leader is going to be gone. It makes me want to retreat to my safe space, but even then I'll never be truly safe unless Dear Leader is leading me Dearly.


I decided to have a visit over to RT. I clicked their State of the Union article. I found some of the best comments I've ever seen about Obama and the SOTU. They take the words out of my mouth:

  • It's a green faced lie! -Anon Wibble
  • When collapse is near, the lies become more and more delusional. -Serg Derbst
  • Obama is such a joke, its no longer funny anymore. -Alex P
  • Wall to wall weasel words from the biggest weasel since Nixon. -Johnny derp
  • Pathetic drivel by Obama, even the pausing in between every sentence made no impact on anyone, pure tripe . -Martin Riggs
  • White house pulp fiction.- Hilarious. -Kaptain Amerika
  • Last speech of man who starting
    From change and ended in deep debt -Andrei Kuznetsov
  • Exceptionally pompous. -Diego Prendergast
  • By "most durable" he means sinking like a brick. -Jethan Roderet
  • Muricans are the only ignoramuses who thought his phony-baloney bullsh!t had correlation to actual facts. -ru bear
  • Soon, even the densest brainwashed imbeciles will have to realize Obomba is incapable of speaking a single word of truth. -Тимоти Блокер
  • Is there any doubt now that poor old Obama has slipped into the role as America's favourite comedian? Look at the stooges in the background photo shots salivating and frothing at the mouth, hung on every word the comedian says. Obama should be nominated for his outstanding comedy in film, television and stage. -Tassie
  • The US job miracle:
    Everybody has 2 or 3 part-time jobs in catering, big box stores, bars, on the street, or in strip joints, or the erotica businesses. -Kaptain Amerika
  • Did anyone in the know really expect this chump to quit lying all of a sudden ? -Ben Dere
    • reply to above comment: No way, it would tarnish his standard bearing, unpolished image! Like his predicessors,he too will take his lies to the grave. -George Bowling
  • Obama : "The US is the most durable economy in the world".

    ... and lest not forget ay Obama, the Titanic was also the unsinkable ship wasn't it ?

    As the USS Economy continues sailing full steam ahead, on a path straight into the ocean's biggest icebergs. An iceberg called 'Debt' and another called 'Deflation' -JerryBear
    • reply to above comment: Yeah it's durable... It's bent out of shape, and it can't snap back up anymore!!! -George Bowling
  • It will be interesting if China & Russia will call on the debts that America owns them. -Roger Wee
  • USA is a circus tent. -Colonel Von Strohm
    • reply to above comment: An open air circus tent but the Yanks think they have a tent because the government tells them the tent is there and the media agrees. -mickeydee555
There's also another article here with more comments. You'll have to sort through them but you'll find some really good ones.

As for if I watched the State of the Union address, I probably watched all of 55 seconds. Mainly because I could tell that it was going to be yet another package of lies and propaganda. Also because I can't stand Obama the bloviator, and I certainly can't stand being lied to and being spoon-fed propaganda.

But didn't the clapping sound canned like a laugh track? It was immediate and it sounded the same each time, it didn't have the build-up, even slight build-up that is expected from clapping. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was canned, the SOTU is a big government propaganda opportunity anyhow, and what better propaganda than groupthink from the politicians who are respected by the complete idiots that the government would like to have?

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This glorious transcript goes to the Mother Page!

Long live the toiling American masses, united single-heartedly around the invincible party, the People's Democratic Party of America, and personally around their glorious and magnificent leader, Comrade Barach Huseinovich Obama!

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I still think Dear Leader will somehow triumph and win a third glorious term! Great days ahead for Amerika.

[highlight=#ffffff]SOTU 2016 [/highlight]



Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:Everything is still Bush' fault.

Yes, I believe that many Americans would agree; we need more Bush. In fact, I bet right around half of the American people would say that they need more Bush.

I think that fine articulate young man did well with his STFU speech.