Part 2.


Barry: I read the two books.

Bill: Honest?

Barry: Well, I skimmed most of the first one.

Bill: Which one?

Barry: I don't know, I can't tell the difference.

Bill: We'll come back to the books... You know, I spent a lot of time on them. It would have been nice if you made some effort to read them.

Barry: Come on, Bill, no long face. If the Harvard Law Review couldn't make me read the crap they wrote – and I was the head of the damn thing.... I'm not a reading man - I'm a talking man. That's my magic.... What did the Law Review do, anyway?

Bill: It's not important. Do you know who Marx is?

Barry: Groucho?

Bill: No, Karl.

Barry: Right – the funny guy with the painted-on moustache.

Bill: That's Groucho.

Barry: So who's Karl? Wait – he was he the guy who didn't talk but played the harp.

Bill: No! Karl Marx is the father of Marxism.

Barry: Oh, oh, oh. Now I remember. You know, to this day, I could never figure out why do they call that whole thing, “Marxism.”

Bill: Because Marx invented the philosophy. I have this feeling that one day there'll be "Obamaisms."

Barry: What do you mean?

Bill: Never mind.

Barry: That's the dude Jerry Wright kept telling me about, and I still don't get it. The way Jerry talks about that guy, you'd think he was Allah.

Bill: He's Allah to us.

Barry: Jerry?

Bill: No – Marx. If you get elected, you'll be expected to follow the principles of Marx.

Barry: As in being a “Marxist.”

Bill: Correct. Look, this won't be easy. You'll be under tremendous scrutiny.

Barry: I can handle scrutiny. What is scrutiny?

Bill: It means to be under examination. Except by the news media, your case. Except the Fox News Channel.

Barry: There's a news channel about foxes?

Bill: Never mind - just stick to the script and the rest'll be taken care of.

Barry: George again, huh?

Bill: Yes, George again.

Barry: Man, that dude must have more money than Elvis.

Bill: If you stick to the teleprompter dialogue we write, we can pull this off. But there'll be times when you'll have to ad lib, so we've got to go over a few things.

Barry: Ad lib - the woman's movement?

Bill: No, ad lib it means to talk off the cuff.

Barry: Cuff?

Bill: It's an expression - it means to speak contemporaneously – without reading anything!

Barry: Hey – I'm just the talker, okay?

Bill: The trick is going to be to implement as many laws and policies as possible before enough people truly catch on to what we're doing.

Barry: What language are you talking? What the hell's “implement?”

Bill: Jesus... It means to put in force.

Barry: Oh – implement. I knew that. Like a farm tool implement.

Bill: Have you ever heard of “quantitative easing?”

Barry: Of course. It's a laxative - Michelle takes it when she overeats.

Bill: It's not a laxative. It's about spending.

Barry: You should see how much we spend for Michelle to eat.

Bill: Forget the laxative! The strategy will be to induce a recession then convince enough people that spending will be the way out it - by the time enough people figure it out, we'll have fundamentally changed the economy of the United States.

Barry: Man oh man - you sound like those guys who claims Oswald didn't shoot Kennedy.

Bill: Trust me, he didn't.

Barry: Bill, if anyone knows, it's probably you. So who was Kennedy, anyway?

Copyright 2011 Robert Fine