After much laboring in hidden archives in Moscow, I have learned how we may bring about our Glorious World of Next Tuesday!

First, we must create a Circle of Equality™ upon the ground, and within it draw a Hammer and Sickle. These are the symbols of power that will contain the energy of the summoning.

Now, we must burn a stack of money, for it symbolizes the destruction of wealth concentrated in the hands of greedy capitalists.

Then we set up a red energy-efficient light bulb and power it with a wind turbine and solar panel. This is the glorious future we all seek, and the Green™ energy we are struggling towards.

Next, we surrender our guns to the State and we speak the sacred chant to bring our world into Next Tuesday™.

Proletarii vsekh stran, soyedinyaytes'! Workers of the world, unite! Repeat this 1917 times in the glow of the red fluorescent light bulb and in the smoke of the flaming money, with the boot of the State on your neck, and with the barrel of a rifle pointed at your head - and through the power of socialist thought, we will bring this world into the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™!

Hail Obama!

Dearest Comrade Colonel,

I am grieved to see you are still at Colonel status, since I was presuming you'd be a General by now... please keep up the good work of advancement. We are all proud of ... whatever it is you do.

Secondly, I have provided evidentiary that I, your loyal Fraulein, have pursued the burning of evil capitalist monies. I must forewarn that the burning did not go as planned but there will be plenty of space to expand the soccer field -- for several miles.

I am also hoping Red Square will not miss the monies underneath his stoop... but I am thinking he is willing to donate for the cause!

Comrade Colonel, it's possible you've been hanging out a little too much in time warps and worm holes - NextTuesday™ officially arrived on November 6, 2012!

True, the reich wing teabaggers have so far prevented its full implementation by causing a sequestration and other despicable acts of terrorism against the Party and our Dear Leader, but rest assured - it is here. Just look at Harry Reid's latest sleight of hand to get Diane Franken-Feinstein's assault weapons bill passed! We're in good shape, Comrade - may I suggest doubling the beet vodka rations as we continue the full NextTuesday™ implementation by implementing your most excellent steps above?

PS - Comrade Fraulein - are you related to the fine senator from California?

And just where am I supposed to get the money to burn? Because I'm sure as hell not burning my own! I only burn other people's money.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:.....

PS - Comrade Fraulein - are you related to the fine senator from California?

Comrade R.O.C.K., if I were to disclose super secret disclosures, you would receive a visit from the IRS, FBI, CIA and worst of all TSA malcontent examiners.

All Hail the IRS, FBI, CIA, TSA

We may also add Common Core standards for public schools...

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At what point in this process do we stand in line for hours only to be told that the product we hope to acquire is not available? I already practice this weekly in feeble hope for ammunition, (I might as well turn in my guns to the State), but when will this work for cash at the bank, bread at the bakery, or fuel at the pumps? FORWARD to Next Tuesday!

Meditate on next Tuesday.

Hail Obama!