New ant-Covid measures to include posterior coverings to prevent possible aerosol transmission of the virus as a result of involuntary flatulence.

In a surprise announcement that eerily resembles a spontaneous whim, NIAID Director Dr. Anthony Fauci has announced that Covid-19 has been found to also be transmitted by aerosols and droplets produced by human flatulence just as effectively, if not more so, as via the upper respiratory system.

According to Fauci, facial coverings have been the key to slowing the spread of this deadly virus. But now new measures must be taken in the form of posterior coverings that are clearly visible and are to be worn outside of one's garments to ensure that all are adhering to the mandate in order to keep everyone safe.

Fauci ended his announcement by saying, "There is no such thing as ridiculousness when it comes to public safety and scientific consensus."

President Joe Biden has promised to issue an executive order making posterior coverings the law of the land and those who don't follow the order and refuse to wear these lower masks will face dire fines, as well as social repercussions and public shaming.

President Biden has also pledged that during his next media appearance he and Vice President Kamala Harris will both be wearing thick posterior masks on the outside of their clothing over groin and glutes, in order to lead the troubled nation by example.

Almost immediately after the announcement social media pages have sprung up with calls to listen to science and suggestions to honor those wearing posterior coverings as "national superheros." At the same time they used words like "murderers" and "fascists" to describe those not wearing posterior masks, threatening such "science deniers" with physical violence.

Why stop there?

How about wearing a white band around our arms to signal others that we are not enemies of the state and are vaccinated to avoid disappearing in the middle of the night? In fact, why not heed the whistle of virtue signaling as we could wear a special harness to hold large heavy metal weights making walking impractical and/or enjoy the effect of braces on our legs in solidarity with people who are physically challenged? Perhaps we could also go to a maiming clinic to disfigure our looks to to virtue-signal our solidarity with those who are less physically attractive.

Comardes, the possibilies are endless...

Comrades, just cast your hungry eyes on this Fishmasker's catch.



Filet, dredge in seasoned cornmeal, and deep fry one of these maskfish and feed the whole family.

Just think of hooking a swarmfestation of posteriormaskfish.

Superheroes all have underwear over their pants, and now we know why.

Red Square wrote:Superheroes all have underwear over their pants, and now we know why.

'pelipsky just wondered what seeing the intersectuality of super hero attire in gallery fashion would look like.

Chedoh wrote:
According to Fauci, facial coverings have been the key to slowing the spread of this deadly virus.

Unfortunately, they haven't done much to stop the deadly virus of bullshit. This new mask is unlikely to change that.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:

Chedoh wrote:
According to Fauci, facial coverings have been the key to slowing the spread of this deadly virus.

Unfortunately, they haven't done much to stop the deadly virus of bullshit. This new mask is unlikely to change that.

Perhaps if the bull were to wear a posterior covering?

A noble thought, Comrade Red D. However, like all festering sores, the bubble will eventually burst and the whole country will end up being covered in excrement.

Oh, wait......

jackalopelipsky wrote:Comrades, just cast your hungry eyes on this Fishmasker's catch.



Filet, dredge in seasoned cornmeal, and deep fry one of these maskfish and feed the whole family.

Just think of hooking a swarmfestation of posteriormaskfish.

Thank GREENPEACE™ that these aren't PLASTIC BOTTLES, LIDS, and other assorted, murderous fossil fuel-based junk, polluting our pristine waters! If I didn't know better (and I probably don't), I'd say this komrade is acting upon Dr. Faux-Xi's latest ukase of making sure sea life is properly protected from the super duper deadly, there's-no-way-out, one-way-ticket-to-the-morgue CCPflu Virus™! I surmise by this picture that he's showing us NO sea life will go unmasked; that not even the depths of the ocean are safe without proper protection! And his red gloves are a give away of who he's working for!