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Gavin Newsom: "For Your Own Good"

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Sacramento (TASS) – In a press conference today, Gavin Newsom, the Governor-for-life of the People's Дemocratic Яepublic of Кaлiforиia, announced that he is extending the stay-at-home lockup, er, lockdown until the end of May…2025. Additionally, he is elevating the crime of appearing in public without a facemask to a capital offence. With normal due process already revoked during this ongoing pandemergency, the use of deadly force to deal with those scofflaws has been authorized. The newly formed Noro Kalifornia Virus Detail (NKVD) will be roaming the streets with orders to “Shoot to Kill” anyone with an exposed nostril or labium.

“It's a harsh measure, but we need to teach these ne'er-do-wells that we mean business. Don't they understand it's For Their Own Good?™ Anyway, it's only temporary. I'll give folks back their supposed ‘inalienable rights' whenever I decide they are properly subservient. Besides, it's for the children, or something.”

In a parallel measure, anyone stepping outside their cell, er, home will now be required to hop on one foot during their excursion. “It's scientifically obvious that this will reduce the amount of virus transmitted back into your home by 50%. You should all be thanking me for doing all of this heavy thinking for you. Just don't let your mask slip while you're doing all that bouncing around. I've got some NKVD officers with itchy trigger fingers!” he concluded, winking at the assembled MiniTrue agents in the audience.

- SK

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Dear me, this gives the Kommissarka of Michigan a great deal to live up to. It is indeed a veritable Kompetition of Kindness, is it not?

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RedDiaperette wrote:Dear me, this gives the Kommissarka of Michigan a great deal to live up to. It is indeed a veritable Kompetition of Kindness, is it not?

The DPRoC does its best to lead the way!

- SK

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Chief Designer wrote:
RedDiaperette wrote:Dear me, this gives the Kommissarka of Michigan a great deal to live up to. It is indeed a veritable Kompetition of Kindness, is it not?

The DPRoC does its best to lead the way!

- SK

So many choices in the Kompetition of Kindness Profiles in Leadership in opposition to Trumputler's Dominion. Trumputler just wants to hook yo babies and family members on Chloroquine because he's just wrong for Amerikkka and wants you to just want to die to visit one of his Hotels.

'pelipsky


 
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