Texazistan - It has been determined that Ghislaine Maxwell is unfit to train puppies while incarcerated in a low-security prison camp in Texazistan. Puppy training privileges are precious to the women prisoners, but not every prisoner is considered morally equipped to train puppies.

“We do not allow anyone who has committed crimes against animals or minors. That’s because they’re vulnerable populations,” Paige Mazzoni, Canine Companions’ CEO, told CNN. “The goal is to give the puppies love and enough confidence to continue to learn tasks.”

The kind of love Ghislaine Maxwell is currently in prison for is not conducive to training puppies to have the confidence to learn the tasks necessary to become a companion dog for disabled individuals. Prisoner Maxwell's love style would keep a puppy in the perpetual state of leg humping, which has never helped a visually impaired person walk to the mailbox in front of their residence. A puppy unable to stop crotch sniffing cannot advance to learning to sniff diabetic keytones, or the presence of advancing breast cancer. For these reasons, Prisoner Maxwell is unfit to train puppies, while serving her sentence.

Just talking about the presence of Maxwell living in the dormitory style living arrangement of the prison facility will not only disrupt other prisoner's puppy training privileges, but will get them disappeared into the National Prison System. Needless to say, Prisoner Maxwell is not making any friends - human, or canine - while serving her 10 year sentence for sex trafficking minors. Learning to say nothing about Prisoner Maxwell's possible contact with the children of fellow inmates on visitation day is Prison Nonspeak Policy. Prison Moms can relax that at least Prisoner Maxwell will not have a cute little puppy to lure minors into having sex with Prince Andrew, Bill or Hillary Clinton, or some strange guy from Silicon Valley on family visitation days.

All good news for The Collective in Texazistan, comrades!

https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/15/politics ... camp-bryan

The Party reminds us that while puppies must learn to heel, fetch, and roll over, Comrade Maxwell’s training methods involve the wrong kind of obedience school. Her idea of a “treat” is a spot on a flight manifest to a private island — not exactly what a puppy expects when it hears “Sit.”