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Joseph Stalin the 3rd - on work vacation in Florida

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Hello Comrades. Joe Stalin the 3rd here again.

This week, I am taking a short break from my plan for North American domination. I have decided to visit Florida, the land of retired success criminals. Due to my recent notoriety, I must try to blend in, that's why I bought this shirt. Maybe you are thinking – why would you spend your free time in such a right wing hotbed? Have no fear my new comrades, you know this is a work vacation. The Florida primary is this week and I am working to coordinate our operatives who crashed the billionaire's rally in the city they call Tampa. I also came to enjoy the Red Tide – and - because they eat Cubans here, for lunch.

Look at these scumbags. They think because they hoarded the peoples' money that they get to sit back and enjoy the sunshine, and the bikinis, while the workingman serves them drinks, in coconut shells. I actually like bikinis myself. I'm thinking - our new communist logo for the Peoples Republic of United Democrats should be the hammer---head shark and the bikini. Hah!

My other work for this week comrades is to come up with a plan for a crisis that is facing our new united state. Perhaps you are aware that the Sandman is taking a collective beating in the Democratic primaries. It is difficult to go up against such an established political machine as Bill and his wife.

Where else but kurrent America can you imagine so many people getting behind a couple with such a history? I may enjoy drinking the remains of crushed free thinkers, but even I would never stoop so low as to be accused of raping a woman - and not take credit for it. The popular support that Bill's wife enjoys, especially with women, is exactly the kind of thoughtless sentiment that we need to bring the new communism to North America. These foolettes think that the billionaire is a monster, when the real monsters are siting right in front of them. I'm not sure what's in their water comrades, but we need some - to keep our man Bernie in the race.

My only saving grace with the Clinton dynasty is that they happily received “donations” from China the last time they were in power. Mao has assured me that those so-called donations were not made just because China was impressed with their apparent rape successes, but rather it was to gain a stronger foothold in mainland America for his countrymen.

My solution to the Clinton crisis will have to wait until after I return from my work vacation. And, since I am on work vacation comrades, I will take a moment to share with you a recipe that my mother taught me when I was a child. It is called the workingman's juice. You start with 2 cups of liquified political prisoners. Then add in two cups of boiled thought criminals, without removing the bone fragments. Then a splash of clarified dissenters. Blend it on high for 10 seconds and let stand for 5 minutes. Once the flavors are combined, pour over ice and enjoy. It goes great with human blood sausage before heading out to the beach. But remember, like my mother always said, watch your people work themselves to death before you go out and have fun.

I really have to keep my guard up here in Florida comrades. It's so relaxing. I fell asleep on the beach the other day and had a nightmare that I was having fun with retired capitalist pigs.

When I woke up, I was smiling and waving at what looked to be the old CEO of Enron.

For my work vacation, I bring with me a very special person comrades. I introduce to you, for the first time, the extended future of our new communism - Joseph Stalin the 4th. Unfortunately I caught him playing with a young capitalist at the beach. He asked me for lashings as a punishment - I did not deny him.

Do me a favor my future P.R.O.U.D. party members, the next time you are thinking of casting your vote for an accused rapist's accomplice, I want you to think of the word “free”. What is this… freedom you say? What I mean comrades is the power that the sandman will have to give you free things. Bill's wife has only promised you SOME things for free. Bernie is the only one who promises you EVERYTHING for free.

And try to find me some of that water that Bill's wife's followers are drinking.

In the meantime, I will be here, sitting back working - and hoping to see a retired success criminal get eaten by a shark. Mao is actually here too. He's walking along the beach collecting dead dogs - victims of the Red Tide, for our collective victory roast.

I would like to end this with huge congratulations to Moveon's – excuse me – Bernie's strongman, Mr. Green, for shutting down the billionaire's, and his followers', access to the democratic process in Chicago. Amazing. He reminds me of my grandfather when he was just getting started.

Until next time, Bernie Sanders is your new father and will destroy all of America's social constructs – Marx willing.

Joe.

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Comrade,

Your recipe for "workingman's juice" does not contain any beet - juice. Are you sure it is party approved?

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Minitrue wrote:Comrade,

Your recipe for "workingman's juice" does not contain any beet - juice. Are you sure it is party approved?

Dumbass! The beet juice was in the thoughtkriminals that were processed into liquid. Therefore, the liquid thoughtkriminals satisfy the requirement set forth in the Beet Amendment to the 2nd subpart of section C of Article 55-Y-S of the People's Revolutionary Motherland Constitution of Rights The State Has And You Don't. I expected better from the Direktor of Minitrue!

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Comrade Stierlitz is most aware of the process for this recipe, I'm wondering if your family had a similar one...

I would also point out that a kore ingredient of my mother's human blood sausage recipe is beet stem extract.

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JosephStalinthe3rd wrote:Comrade Stierlitz is most aware of the process for this recipe, I'm wondering if your family had a similar one...

I would also point out that a kore ingredient of my mother's human blood sausage recipe is beet stem extract.

My family would buy a 55 gallon drum of Thoughtweiser a month and on the state-mandated rest and revolution days we'd stick a rubber hose in it and spend an entire day sitting by the fire and drinking from it. It's a wonder we didn't become thoughtkriminals ourselves with how much we drank of it!

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Dumbass! The beet juice was in the thoughtkriminals that were processed into liquid. Therefore, the liquid thoughtkriminals satisfy the requirement set forth in the Beet Amendment to the 2nd subpart of section C of Article 55-Y-S of the People's Revolutionary Motherland Constitution of Rights The State Has And You Don't. I expected better from the Direktor of Minitrue!
I bow my head to your superior reasoning comrade, and will forego my daily beet wodka ration...


 
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