Meteor Tax To Help Raise Revenue And Avert Tragedies

As the historical re-election of Barack Obama has forever unshackled Democrat officials from any accountability, the People's government can finally begin to eradicate all tragedies, bad accidents, and even pure bad luck by legislating them out of existence.

• Hurricane? Tax it!
• Mass shooting? Make self-defense illegal!
• Life not fair? Hand out some EBT cards!
• Can't wait a year for Kindergarten? Give Universal Pre-K a try!
• Cruise ship break down? Create a federal board to penalize the corporation!

In addition to these advancements, we propose to introduce the Meteor Tax as a way to combat international meteors caused by American pollution, as well as an innovative source of government revenue.

Should a meteor crash onto your personal property, you will be subject to the Meteor Tax for failing to prevent it from happening, henceforth to be deposited into the Global Warming Tragedy™ fund.
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If a similar Tragedy Tax existed during Hurricane Katrina, the entire catastrophe could have been prevented. The Bush administration criminally neglected to exercise this option. However, with a well-meaning minority president in the White House, we have a unique opportunity to avert future tragedies by enacting the Meteor Tax.

Since meteors crashing into the United States are still rare because American-caused Global Warming has only existed since the early 1900s, we can increase the revenue by applying the Meteor Tax to any object that crashes in the U.S. or flies above it - such as shooting stars, comets, drones, UFOs, or hijacked airplanes. The opportunities are endless.



The Meteor Tax is also a job creation bonanza, as thousands of new IRS agents, astronomers, and even astrologers will be hired to handle the extra paperwork, telescopic observation, and meteor prediction.

Even if meteors remain rare, the busywork required to ensure compliance from each citizen will take many hours to complete. Whether any actual revenue is generated or not, all new federal employees will eventually join the union and vote Democrat, thereby benefiting society in general.


To amplify President Barack Obama's chances for a third term or, hopefully, a lifetime presidency, use these tips for maximum compliance from all population sectors:

• If resistance is suspected, call the Meteor Tax a "fine" instead of a tax.
• If the people do not accept the term "fine," then simply surround yourself with a group of children and refer to it as "expiration of cuts" caused by George W. Bush.
• Divert attention from it long enough for the law to be passed as an executive order without congressional approval.
• If anyone says "You're crazy, you can't stop meteors," simply ask them: "Why are you against this man as President?"

Call your legislators today and voice your support for the Meteor Tax! Never let a crisis go to waste!
 

I can hardly wait to make oodles of money help the poor when I open the FIRST of what I see as being a long chain of state-sanctioned, IRS-approved Meteor Tax Return Preparation Centers, which will be made necessary as my politically-motivated advice wise counsel will make sure that the new Meteor Tax Returns are totally incomprehensible transparent as Dear Leader's Administration. FORWARD!
 

Olga Photoshopova for Senate.
 

Comrades, I am ready to vote for Olga Photoshopova for United States Senate - several times, in fact!

And I have dead relatives who can vote as well!

What say the rest of you?

Running on a Platform of Serious Chainsawing can only help the Party - this could be our next step FORWARD!
 

 

I accept the nomination for Lifetime Senate Term!
 

Comrade Olga, as a Democrat your Senate Term will OF COURSE be a Lifetime one!

May I be so bold as to suggest that Ted Cruz >spit< and Rand Paul >spit< be among your earliest top priorities? They really need to be "cut down to size", if you know what I mean.
 

WARNING: GOVERNMENT

 

Thanks to fellow Comrades I have a whopping three votes locked up for the Lifetime Senate seat. We only need to register several thousand more dead voters (and dogs) to make this dream of the Meteor Tax a reality. Same-day voter registration is another option.

Vote early, vote often!
 

It's all about having the right endorsements...
 

Oppressed masses around the world vote for Olga Photoshopova as their most trusted, fearsome defender.



 

Obama rip me off on Obamaphone - I votin' for Olga this time!
 

I have been doing some community organizing.

 

Remarkably, (or not so) Dear Leader (PBUH), with the careful guidance of The People's Bureau of Land Management has already begun the effort of controlling meteor taxation!

New rules for meteorite hunters unveiled

Fox News

The Bureau of Land Management, under the U.S. Department of the Interior, has issued Instruction Memorandum No. 2012-182. It establishes policy governing the collection of meteorites found on public lands."



 

It only crossed my mind to use dogs to vote. Cats! Brilliant. We're on our way to a Saddam Hussein-esque 100% margin of victory. It's possible we could even get more than that, judging by the 110% voter registration that materialized in some U.S. counties.
 

Any decent dictator worth his salt should garner 110% of the vote at a minimum.
 

Olga Photoshopova

It only crossed my mind to use dogs to vote. Cats! Brilliant.

We cats have long been disenfranchised by voter ID laws and the occasional poll worker who is smart enough to tell the difference between a cat and a human. However thanks to absentee ballots that have been helpfully filled out by our comrades in the Democrat Party, our meow is finally being heard at the ballot box in closely contested elections.



 

Chairman Meow

Olga Photoshopova

It only crossed my mind to use dogs to vote. Cats! Brilliant.

We cats have long been disenfranchised by voter ID laws and the occasional poll worker who is smart enough to tell the difference between a cat and a human. However thanks to absentee ballots that have been helpfully filled out by our comrades in the Democrat Party, our meow is finally being heard at the ballot box in closely contested elections.

meowsharpton.jpg

I jes loove rev al...so does he.

http://rollingout.com/videos/al-sharpton-clears-up-lisa-raye-dating-rumors-speaks-on-occupy-wall-street-protest/