Comrades, no doubt there have been some talking behind my back about a certain amount of absence on my part of late, and trust me, I have been taking notes. However, I must confess that lately I have been having a certain amount of attention distraction for which I am seeing a doctor about. Of course, the doctor being a graduate of the V. I. Lenin Junior College #1135, I am expecting great results soon. But that has not stopped me from working on the weighty matters of the Party as we near the onset of the World of Next Tuesday™. I would be remiss not to thank certain comrades here again for granting me a head start on my subsidy.

In the meantime, I would like to share a few thoughts that I have been pondering of late that could really be treated separately, but I just thought this would be a good place to muse. However, the first 2 memos are for the eyes of the Inner Circle only, so all other comrades are ordered to proceed directly to #3.

Inner Circle Eyes Only:

1. I have come up with a brilliant new weapon idea for the Ministry of Love labs to begin evaluation and development of a working model. This new weapon can be built upon the basic technology of the Poodle cannon, but I believe has the potential to put a fear in the hearts of the imperialists that remain that will leave them quaking in their bunkers. What I imagine is what I call the Community Organizer Chain Gun. Imagine a chain gun capable of shooting over a thousand depleted Community Organizers a minute! What or who could withstand this withering fire? Please start work on this immediately.

2. Comrades, this is a most disturbing thing to even consider, yet we would be remiss in our duties to turn our eyes to the possibility. I believe it is imperative for the Security Services to begin an in depth study of security. As you know, until we can actually do away with that bothersome Constitution in a way that will not cause insurrection, there is a line of succession that could well determine how much expense we must endure to keep our new found gains. Normally of course, the reactionaries would be satisfied to merely kill the president. However, with the Obama-Biden ticket, they would not dare to stop at the Obama, but would have to eliminate both of them at the same time. In your once in 50 year cycle. that would certainly be sufficient for the would be assassins. However, in these extraordinary times, that would bring us down to Nancy Pelosi, a scenario that no one dare risk. This in turn leads to Robert Byrd. As you can see, it is absolutely clear that while it is highly unlikely that all 4 of these could be hit at once, it is also abundantly clear that we must put a stringent net of security around all of these immediately! But we must also evaluate how much further we need to "drill down" as the reactionaries are quick to shout, to determine the full extent of protection that will be needed to find a level that we can safely say the reactionaries will not target.

All Eyes
3. Comrades, these past few days I have noticed a dangerous and wholly un-necessary degree of thoughtful discussion on a range of topics. Must I remind everyone how the vast majority of thought that has ever been needed was finished long ago in the works of Marx, Lenin, and Stalin? Those few other areas are well covered by the Inner Circle and broadcast as needed by Laika, the Hero Space Dog. Keep this in mind, the more one thinks, the more one exposes themselves to possible ThoughtCrime™. Be alert! Report risky thinking immediately to your nearest Commissar.

4. Finally comrades. let us not be weary in our work. The Glorious World of Next Tuesday is at hand! We socialist-progressive-communists are about to achieve the formally unthinkable! We are buying the former United States of America with the very same capital it made possible through the generosity of such foresighted men as George Soros, those tireless workers at Daily KOS. and millions of useful idiots!

And why Comrades? Because there is Need out there! Because there is a thirst for OPM!

Lets not be weary comrades, there are many out there counting on our victory!

Marshal Pupovich:

Nice to see you again (and your friend?,he so cute). I know that what you say is always the Current Truth, and you are right, of course, to admonish us. I for one, intend to brush up on our glorious Leaders' literary works, immediately. With the snowy season almost upon us, to hibernate and contemplate the Revolution's tenets is a wonderful way to pass the time.

PRAISE TO OUR LEADERS!
CLEANSE YOUR MIND OF THOUGHTCRIMES!
and......
ABOVE ALL, LISTEN TO THE PARTY OFFICIALS, ALWAYS!

yours in Revolucion, comrade,

Che' Gourmet

A stirring and memorable tribute to the Greater Good, Marshal Pupovich! It is good to hear from you again at the top of your game...or on top of...oh, never mind, I also have had difficulty maintaining a consistent train of thought or short-term recall or a balanced checking account.

I think I would like a dish of Kollective Kibbles, but first:

1. Chain gun idea excellent (I AM in the inner circle, am I not, my esteemed Marshal?). Increase impact by one order of magnitude by replacing community organizers with mimes.

2. With reports that Arizona's esteemed Governor with sensible shoes, Janet Napolitano, will be picked by The One as our Homeland Security Czar, we have no security fears whatsoever. My, she has done such a splendid job maintinaning our porous border with Mexico, imagine what she can do on the national stage!

3. Too much thinking is always a dangerous thing...unless it is feeding class envy.

4. My paws are tingling with the anticipation of our glorious Next Tuesday...acutally, to risk sounding pendantic to one greatly superior, it would be Next Next Tuesday, wouldn't it...never mind...as I was saying, we are within reach of our uptopian dream. Mao would be so happy.

5. Prior to your absence, were you not prepared to formally submit a promotion for your humble general? I don't like to strum my own balalaika, but I have been working tirelessly in the cathouses trenches for the Common Good^TM, and in case you haven't noticed the cost of living a comfortable lifestyle has increased lately! Thank you in advance for your good graces...

Pupovich, I too welcome you back. And I trust that your doctor was trained in the very best of Soviet medicine--a paid journey through M. D. Anderson in Houston.

Mousey-Tongue wrote:Chain gun idea excellent (I AM in the inner circle, am I not, my esteemed Marshal?). Increase impact by one order of magnitude by replacing community organizers with mimes.

General, there is an essential difference between community organizers and mimes. Community organizer is shorthand for voter fraud and thuggish intimidation of women and children. Mimes are boiling cauldrons of resentment and black holes of reason. Don't get me wrong--every good progressive needs a mime, just as every medieval court needed a fool. Or a whipping boy.

And General, I like the cut of your jib. "Too much thinking is always a dangerous thing." In more ways than you know, General, in more ways than you know. I can't tell you the number of comrades in their final rest in the south ranch at Rancho de Rio Grande. Let me say that's where the greasewood and sage and mesquite grow the best. Fed on the blood of martyrs. To their own hubris.

General, I cannot step on the paws of Pupovich, but since he's back and doing better, praise be to Lenin, PBUH, I shall second his recommendation for promotion. And upon your receipt of promotion, you shall have an extra ration of beets, an extra fifth of Putinka vodka, and an extra hour until check-out time at the local gulag of your choice.

And you get to check out. That's the main thing.

Che Gourmet wrote: I know that what you say is always the Current Truth, and you are right, of course, to admonish us. I for one, intend to brush up on our glorious Leaders' literary works, immediately. With the snowy season almost upon us, to hibernate and contemplate the Revolution's tenets is a wonderful way to pass the time.

The collective is strong in you Comrade. I see a bright future for you in the Party. Your choice of noms de guerre and avitar was brilliant. One could be tempted to predict you being made a Commissar at some point. However, I hope you will see that the party is flush with Commissars, but we are sorely lacking in gifted chefs. I know there are those among us that are getting burnt out on the Chairman's fried rat on a stick. Being a chef is high praise indeed and carries with it great responsibility. However, have you been issued a sharp knife yet? I am sure I can arrange this as a sign of Party appreciation.

General Cat, I am glad to see you agree that my Community Organizer Chain Gun idea has merit, and I also agree with your suggestion of increasing it's impact with the inclusion of mimes - we need not replace the depleted Community Organizers as ammo, but we will make every 10th round a mime tracer to improve aim! We can see here in our revolution how just one depleted Community Organizer can do to immobilize the enemy, shut down critical thinking, ferment hatred and discord. Granted, not every shell can be expected to be as effective as this, but imagine the effect of thousands of these shells landing on our enemies!

Yes General Cat, I have seen your tireless work, and I did offer a chance for a rise in the ranks. Do you have a particular posting in mind?

While I have your attention.... perhaps you could explain yet one more talent I have observed in the cat beast I took in due to the hurricane knocking out his home. To date, I have merely confirmed the expected talents - sleeping, eating, begging to eat more, shitting on the floor, and lying about neither sleeping nor any other activity. I have since discovered yet one more talent. The cat beast will jump up suddenly and head to my bathroom. As I chased behind to make sure he was not doing talent shitting, I found he was making a bee line to my bathtub and jumping in. There he would apparently barf up some gross thing, and then proceed to eat it! He follows this by "washing himself" with his tongue.

"Talent shitting"? This describes the entire Congress. Thank you, Pupovich.

Most Esteemed Marshal Pupovich -

Your accolades are supremely gratifying to this insignificant prole. The avatar was a collaboration with Comrade Red Square. I could not find a smallish picture of Che'; surely not one with a chef's hat and I do not have Photoshop. Many thanks again, Red Square.

Should the Inner Circle decide that I must be their new Chef: So I will most certainly accept!

I was unaware that the most venerated Chairman dabbled in the culinary arts?
I can see that he was using an older version of the Party's "Joy of Cooking". The recipe for rat on a stick had to be purged some time ago, due to an extraordinary, and as yet, unexplained outbreak of the bubonic plague.

Inform our glorious Chairman to be distressed no more. Che' is here!

As to the choice of knife - As it is undeniably a chef's most revered tool, to have one (Shun Elite 8" Chef Knife w/ powered steel blade and attractive Pakka Wood handle, and only $200USA), would be willingly accepted with pleasure.



BON APPETIT!

your creative comrade,

Che' Gourmet

Commissar Theocritus wrote:"Talent shitting"? This describes the entire Congress. Thank you, Pupovich.

An unfortunate, yet accurate choice of words on my part? LOL

Che Gourmet wrote:I was unaware that the most venerated Chairman dabbled in the culinary arts?

As to the choice of knife - As it is undeniably a chef's most revered tool, to have one (Shun Elite 8" Chef Knife w/ powered steel blade and attractive Pakka Wood handle, and only $200USA), would be willingly accepted with pleasure.

Che Gourmet, I have little doubt that you will be chosen as the Chef to the Inner Circle, as I can not imagine any opposition.

Some time past, there was an episode where competition reared it's ugly head as Commissar Theocritus and SMO tried to undercut the Chairman on rat for his chain of restaurants.

As for your choice of knifes, I was thinking more along the line of one of those set of knifes that are guaranteed to always stay sharp and can be used to cut through a 1957 Cadillac bumper and then slice a tomato, all for $14.99 if we act soon. Is there some reason you feel that this would be insufficient?

Personally, Che Gourmet, I found that my 12" carbon-steel Sabatier was heavy. Then for lighter work I tried a black Kyocera, which was wonderful but I worried about dropping it. Now I use a 12" Kikuichi which I much like.

And Pupovich, I have refreshed my memory on that threat and I don't find--now--any evidence that I had tried to undercut the Chairman on his quality rats.

Personally I am quite fond of rats. I would instead fry up people who work with the Texas Department of Transportation, who think that water runs uphill. (Proof on request.)

The legislature hates them with such a passion that they gave them their appropriations and gave a mandate that they would report on how they were doing with their appropriations.

And then they were given another mandate that they disclose how their mandated disclosure was coming along.

Lenin's truth.

Greetings Comrade Marshal Pupovich,
I read with great interest your missive and as instructed skipped those parts that you instructed me to.

Comrade rest assured that I have no intent in free thought as I find it dangerous.

Comrade under the care of the glorious doctors I suspect you will return to your robust self quickly.

A glorious day is coming comrade, soon those who have chosen a path counter to Dear Leader shall be led in droves to the re-education camps. I look forward to that glorious day.

I await your further missives with great anticipation comrade.

That's the proper amount of suck-up, Radnoskovich. Just right. For that Pupovich will do no talent shitting on your yard.

Comrade Commisar Theocritus, greetings, and thank you for your reply and recognition of my pandering skills, a skill I learned from our firm taskmasters at collective school #1842.

I await comrade Marshall Pupovich's excrement with barely contained excitement. I shall use it in my allotted square meter potato patch, where it shall grow glorious potato's for the Rodina.

Pupovich! Radnoskovich, to prove his everlasting devotion to the People's Cause, is awaiting your talent shitting!

Also, Radnoskovich, have you sucked up to Commissarka Pinkie? Now I love her like a sister but do <i>not</i> let that sneaky broad behind you with her shiny shovel if you've pissed her off. My god, but the English she can put on it. You wouldn't think it to look at her--all those curves you know--but she swings a slow shovel, a fast shovel, and a curve shovel, and sometimes all at once and this being the party there is no strike zone. It's <i>all</i> strike zone with her.

So I recommend some serious lip action on Pinkie's shovel.

And as for me, I hear you ask? Nothing really for me. I'm the feel-good Commissar. I'm all smiles and hugs and pats on the arm. A veritable ray of sunshine for all my fellow comrades.

Until they pass out.

Greetings Marshal Pupovich -

Insufficient??? To prepare beets, potatoes & the occasional rat?.....The $14.99 set would suffice, barely. I suppose I could use them to carve up that rotten, rustbucket kitchen van that won't run on ethanol. But to create sublime, delectable, gastronomic delights for the People's Inner Circle? I leave that enormous decision to you, Sir. You are always so sensible about such things.

Buenas tardes, Commissar Theocritis- So, my favorite muse, you are a culinarian as well, yes? The Sabatier is a useful knife, but only if it comes from Thiers, France. As for the Kikuichi knife; is a most fitting knife for a Commissar of the People. Would you drink Champagne from anywhere else other than Champagne, France? I would kill for one of the Japanese Emperor's finest swordsman's knives. (sighs.....) Useful idiots, those French, but very progressive marketeers.

BON APPETIT!
TO THE PEOPLE'S KITCHEN (also known as the original Hell's Kitchen)

your inspired servant,

Che' Gourmet

PS Kyocera knives???

Greetings Commissar Comrade Theocritus, as to Commissarka Comradette Pinkie, I was unaware that the collective bestowed such responsibility with Comradettes. My latest re-education failed to inform me of this. I shall check my self in to the center closest to me after I have fulfilled the wishes of my current Comrade Commissar, but as you know Comrade, it is time to bring in the beets and potatos. This I do for the glory of the Rodina.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:General Cat, I am glad to see you agree that my Community Organizer Chain Gun idea has merit, and I also agree with your suggestion of increasing it's impact with the inclusion of mimes - we need not replace the depleted Community Organizers as ammo, but we will make every 10th round a mime tracer to improve aim! We can see here in our revolution how just one depleted Community Organizer can do to immobilize the enemy, shut down critical thinking, ferment hatred and discord. Granted, not every shell can be expected to be as effective as this, but imagine the effect of thousands of these shells landing on our enemies!

Yes General Cat, I have seen your tireless work, and I did offer a chance for a rise in the ranks. Do you have a particular posting in mind?

While I have your attention.... perhaps you could explain yet one more talent I have observed in the cat beast I took in due to the hurricane knocking out his home. To date, I have merely confirmed the expected talents - sleeping, eating, begging to eat more, shitting on the floor, and lying about neither sleeping nor any other activity. I have since discovered yet one more talent. The cat beast will jump up suddenly and head to my bathroom. As I chased behind to make sure he was not doing talent shitting, I found he was making a bee line to my bathtub and jumping in. There he would apparently barf up some gross thing, and then proceed to eat it! He follows this by "washing himself" with his tongue.

Mime tracers - genius, my Marshal! Pure genius!

I only live to serve the Party. I was thinking of Minister of Propaganda, in light of my namesake's great skill serving the people only what they need to know when they need to know it. Not that I presume to hold exclusive responsiblity for disinformation, as in Commissar Theocritus and others here we possess an embarrassment of riches in these talents. I suppose I could also monitor licensing and administration of cathouses, given my species and other talents.

Speaking of talents, I cannot comment on the 'whys and wherefores' regarding the above feline mystery. The whole barf/re-eat/barf/repeat process has been a mystery to me, but then I always thought eating had a purpose - nutrition to strengthen one for the Peoples' work. As for skilled excretionary behavior, that depends on the individual feline in question, although we have seen some impressive work performed in this area by the US media in recent months.

My paws tingle with excitement at the prospect of serving The Greater Good in an expanded capacity, Marshal Pupovich! "From each according to his capacity, to each according to his need."

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:"From each according to his capacity, to each according to his need."

Please do not let Joe the Biden see that, for he will think that it is a criticism of the Chosen One, who, although he <i>is</i> a Marxist, cannot be thought by the unwashed crowd to be one. Confusing? Yes I know. It is confusing until you remember that you lie, you lie, you lie, you lie.

Che Gourmet, I confess to not being a good chef but to being a part-time one. In <a href="https://gallery.mac.com/daustins#100378">my own kitchen.</a> To the comrades who have seen this, please forgive me.

Kyocera makes some great ceramic things--notice the name. They have a T-shaped vegetable peeler which is the best. Also they had white-bladed ceramic knives and black, which were so expensive that no one bought them--about $350 for 9". But eBay will let you get one for 1/5 that. And it's so sharp that it can peel a tomato, if you want. (Easier to boil it though.) Don't drop it for it will break.

Of all the knives I've had, Gerber, Messermeister, Sabatier, Henkels, Wusthof-Trident, I like the Kikuichi best.

Greetings Commissar Theocritus, not to be impudent Comrade Commissar, are not those knives used as a capitalistic display of wealth?

Radnoskovich, they would be a vulgar display of wealth except for the fact that, owing to my past performances for the public, I have been rewarded. For example, the Kikuichi knife was a reward from Laika, the heroic space dog, for my ceaseless condemnation of the Rethuglicans. No one has ever bettered my hatred of privilege. So I'm allowed privilege. Get it?

Bear in mind, though, Radnoskovich, that all this privation is for the little people. You know, the ones who do the real marching, who do the real voter fraud. If they get caught, we throw them under the bus. This is where the big boys play.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:And Pupovich, I have refreshed my memory on that threat and I don't find--now--any evidence that I had tried to undercut the Chairman on his quality rats.

Commissar, far be it from me to say who is undercutting whom..... but the Chairman said "Theocritus started it first, Your Excellency! Him and SMO were conspiring to start a "joint venture" to compete against my lucrative soup kitchen scam! I heard them talking about using a higher quality kind of rat and boiling the city water to "sanitize" it for the patrons. I can't compete against that, Your Excellency! I simply cannot scrap the pennies together to offer better rats and clean water for the soup! They will drive me out of business! OUT OF BUSINESS, YOUR EXCELLENCY! I had no choice but to start sewing up Theo's BEQ market... no choice, Your Excellency. I got hookers to feed and another vacation home in Malibu I have to pay for and I just can't let Theo and SMO put me outta' work."

I prefer to think that there was but a misunderstanding, and there was no sense of competition going on here, but then again, would the Chairman say something that was not true just to make himself look good? Never mind....

Che Gourmet wrote: Insufficient??? To prepare beets, potatoes & the occasional rat?.....The $14.99 set would suffice, barely. I suppose I could use them to carve up that rotten, rustbucket kitchen van that won't run on ethanol. But to create sublime, delectable, gastronomic delights for the People's Inner Circle? I leave that enormous decision to you, Sir. You are always so sensible about such things.

Honored Che Gourmet, I was going to ask you to describe in 50 words or less how providing you the expensive sort of knife that you request would further the Party's agenda For the Children™..... You must be reading my mail comrade.... for you answered that question without being asked. Permission is granted for the knife set of your choice. Now of course there may be some delay in delivery, but your voucher number is #42418QE64Z4448.

Comrade Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich, I am most impressed so far with your skill at kissing up. This will no doubt keep you in good standing, that and your well considered words in regard to allowing the Party to do your thinking for you. That is the true joy we bring, that no one need worry about the toils of living other than actually toiling for a living. We will take care of all your needs, never giving too little or too much for you. As you seem to have the need, I would be proud to display my talent shitting for your beet garden.

General Cat, if you feel the call for Ministry of Propaganda meets your needs, I feel that would be most welcome, even though as you point out, there is plenty of that about. But when it comes to propaganda, there really can not be enough paws spreading the Party's story can there? As for cat houses, I see your point, but what would be the impact on the Pup's Party Pleasure Houses and how will your cat houses work For the Children™?

I am glad you like the mime tracer idea. I can hardly wait to see the completed Community Organizer Chain Gun in operation!

One more muse....

Come the arrival of the Obama into the White House.... should we not rename the West Wing to the West Corridor? Calling it a wing just seems it could be racist stereotyping. (I assume the brighter comrades will get the meaning of this without explanation.)

Ah, Pupovich. I see that you are in fine fettle today. All the nutrients from the rats must be doing you a lot of good and I salute you. And the rats would, if they could.

Have you considered my in camera offer of a JV with Campbells for Cream of Rat soup? WE could put Rahm Emmanuel on the label. Or Chuck Schumer. Now there is a can label that no true progressive could match. Although it might start a run on rats.

I confess that it is with a gladsome heart today that I address the collective. Although <i>The New York Times</i> has been downgraded to junk stock by S&P, things never looked better. Newpapers were, we thought, doomed. But after the ascension of the Obama, the Fairness Doctrine will destroy al free speech and there will be, perforce, a revival of newsprint.

No more free speech--which is always bothersome, for how can you tell what these people will say when they won't submit?

Pupovich, do we need to worry about how General Cat's cat houses will work for the Children™ provided that the graft is good? And that they turn out good food soldiers for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday?

Thinking, by the way, is not an option. It is a crime.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Ah, Pupovich. I see that you are in fine fettle today. All the nutrients from the rats must be doing you a lot of good and I salute you. And the rats would, if they could.

Have you considered my in camera offer of a JV with Campbells for Cream of Rat soup? WE could put Rahm Emmanuel on the label. Or Chuck Schumer. Now there is a can label that no true progressive could match. Although it might start a run on rats.

I confess that it is with a gladsome heart today that I address the collective. Although <i>The New York Times</i> has been downgraded to junk stock by S&P, things never looked better. Newpapers were, we thought, doomed. But after the ascension of the Obama, the Fairness Doctrine will destroy al free speech and there will be, perforce, a revival of newsprint.

No more free speech--which is always bothersome, for how can you tell what these people will say when they won't submit?

Pupovich, do we need to worry about how General Cat's cat houses will work for the Children™ provided that the graft is good? And that they turn out good food soldiers for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday?

Thinking, by the way, is not an option. It is a crime.

Good Food soldiers??? I could use some of those Comrade.

PS Your dacha is magnificent, oh great and illustrious Commissar. Che' Gourmet would be most honored to prepare the People's delicacies in such a fantastic kitchen. Truly amazing! The Party has smiled on you, dear Commissar!

Che Gourmet, I see that I mistyped Food for Foot. But was it a Freudian slip? Was I channeling the Great Lenin? Or perhaps the immortal Mao? It was not for nothing that he starved the proles in China, making them eat their children.

And thank you, Che, for the comments on my kitchen. Notice that the sodalite (granite) is blue to go with the blue blood of the rich, white Rethuglican children that we will sacrifice on the altar of socialist harmony and peace.

It's all for the Children™.

Greetings Comrade Marshall Pupovich, I am honored that you chose to respond to my feeble attempt at communication. It is difficult since I struggle to place no thought into my missives. Let me say Comrade Marshall that I feel unworthy of the attention that you have bestowed upon me. I only wish to serve comrade.

Oh and Comrade Marshall, perhaps a suitable name for the west wing might perhaps be The People's Western Corridor.

I apologize in advance Comrade Marshall if you find my feeble suggestion inadequate.

Greetings Comrade Commissar Theocritus, To have such a gift bestowed upon you by Laika, the heroic space dog speaks to the dedication that you must have shown, and the countless hours you have spent in your chosen field. Perhaps Comrade some day you will share with me your glorious and inspirational story.

Comrade if you will permit me, I shall drink a toast to you at the peoples collective dinner this evening. It is a special dinner in that there is to be a bit of meat added to the potato soup. These truly are heady days comrade.

I am flattered, Gruppenfurer. Please dunk the meat in the potato soup an extra time for me, and in the name of the Chosen One.

Why do you not in celebration break out the flatware stolen from Howard Johnson's? These are indeed heady times, when the next president openly says that he will choose Supreme Court nominations for social justice and fairness instead of their ability to read law.

And let us celebrate the death of the Constitution. Is that not what we've been waiting for?

Greetings Comrade Commissar Theoicritus, I will dunk the meat twice, and yes comrade,this will be a good time to use the HO JO flatware. It will be a glorious celebration in the dining hall.

And if I may be so bold Comrade Commissar, it is the brave men like you and Comrade Marshall Pupovich who were wholly instrumental in destroying that burdensome piece of paper.

Thank you, Gruppenfurer. When the Constitution is completely useless, I intend to have a party burning it on Oprah. It will be done by a Wicca coven and the high priestess will be Rosie O'Donnell. She will be dressed, at first, in a white Wicca robe with her steel-toed drillers' boots and as the ceremony progresses they will all be sky-dressed. Which is to say undressed.

Attending will be our Many Titted Empress.

What a glorious vision, Commissar Theocritus! My paws are numb with anticipation of the many glories that await. I think I will be busy that day, however, but will look for the DVD when it comes out.

Speaking of coming out, why are our transgendered comrades not duly represented in our emerging troika? I am thinking of a "I am Pat!" awareness campaign, a la Joe the Plumber Loser. T-shirts, buttons, quick meaningless spots on local morning shows, you know the schtick. It could score some points with our more sexually conflicted comrades while showing the world another dimension of what the One's hopey-changitude will promise our great collective.

Che Gourmet, perhaps you could come up with a confection worthy of the effort...a Pat-ty-Cake perhaps (trite perhaps, but then the people we need to influence are mostly stupid proles). I know your creativity could yield a fabulous flambe or a divine souffle...or whatever.

I should state for the record that I respect all comrades equally regardless of sexual orientation or bizarre preferences, including our most esteemed Chairman. However, I tend to shoot straight, if you get my drift.

Sadly, it seems Marshal Pupovich has again wandered off sniffing the bushes, and has forgotten to reward my faithful service. Such is life in the collective.

I must now attend to party business, my new flamethrower came via UPS today and I can't wait to try it out on some McCain/Palin yard sings...

General Mousey-Tongue, do not think that I have forgotten you and Che Gourmet. He will julienne the Constitution and you may piss on its remains.

Eeeewwww....

Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich wrote:Greetings Commissar Comrade Theocritus, as to Commissarka Comradette Pinkie, I was unaware that the collective bestowed such responsibility with Comradettes. My latest re-education failed to inform me of this. I shall check my self in to the center closest to me after I have fulfilled the wishes of my current Comrade Commissar, but as you know Comrade, it is time to bring in the beets and potatos. This I do for the glory of the Rodina.

Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich:

STRIKE ONE: Unluckily for you, I come here in a very foul mood, having been summoned here earlier today by a source most reliable, only to make a post and discover afterward that it didn't show up anywhere. Whether that was due to a glitch with the computer, the server, the site, or whether in my already outraged mood at being torn from the sweet embrace of a White Russian to come here I forgot to hit the send button, or whether it is the fault of Bush matters not. The fact remains that it happened, and now I'm having to re-post all over again off the top of my head and I never like that.

STRIKE TWO: Your re-education did not fail on any front. Re-education never fails; in fact, it exists because of the failure of failed systems that led to revolution. To say that your re-education has failed is a smear, an attack, a Swift Boating that misleads and misinforms others. Oh, and it's also a thoughtcrime.

STRIKE THREE: You confess to being unaware that female comrades have important responsibilities. What a misogynistic observation to make--not to mention it's also a thoughtcrime. What are you, a right wing plant who assumes that I'll gladly trample over children and little old ladies and adorable puppies and cute kittens to vote for Sarah Palin just because she happens to be female?

I'll bet you think she's hot. In fact, I'll wager you become aroused at the thought of her shooting a moose. Then you close your eyes and savor the delicious image of her preparing the mooseburgers, her slender hands thrust into the crimson softness of the ground up moosemeat, fondling it, caressing it, forming it into balls that she cups ever so lovingly in her hands until she smooths them into flat round patties that she sets upon the broiler, where hot flames lick and lap at the patties, making them sizzle in their own hot juices. Oh, it makes your mouth water with desire, doesn't it?

As for me, when I have to deal with a piece of meat, I use my shovel to whack the balls flat.

Get the message, Gruppenfurer Radnoskovich? Good. Welcome to the Collective.

P.S. I'm glad to see Pupovich and Mousey-Tongue getting along--rather like Bubba and the Obamessiah together on the campaign trail.

Greetings Commissarka Pinkie, Comrade I assure you that I had no intent of offending or dishonoring you. I must have taken too much of the prescription prescribed for me by the collective doctor, oh most gracious and beneficent commisaraka, I have no excuse, please, I do not want my meat balls whacked flat with a shovel. Of course it is fitting and proper that a Commissarka such as your self is given great responsibility within the party of the people.

Commissarka, I must confess to a certain amount of arousal at the thought of the shrew Palin and her hands on the meat. I know that this is not proper. But yes, I have envisioned her lovingly cupping the meet, massaging it into a firm round texture, and then slowly......err, ahem I must check myself in to the nearest re-education camp immediately.

Please Commissarka, if I may, one last chance with you please. I freely confess that I am not worthy, but if you will permit it, I shall make this up to you

Commissarka Pinkie, you know that no one is second to me in my admiration of you, especially when you have your shovel to hand and that mean light is coming out of your eye. Tell me: did you learn that from Our Many Titted Empress? I've seen it before...

Still I admit that you wobbled my tripes when you talked about smashing meat balls with your shovel. This is not the most felicitous of images. Now as a loyal uber-comrade, I have no <i>need</i> for balls, just nerve and brass cheek, so my funk shouldn't be such but I confess I have it and in spades. From a spade. Does that signify an excessive attention to my physical body? I hope not because I've given my all to the Party.

Well, to be fair I've give a lot of words to the party and I've given a lot of other peoples' all to the party, which is what a good comrade would do.

Radnoskovich, about responsibilities entrusted to Comradettes. Remember our Many Titted Empress. She is temporarily vanquished by the Obamessiah, PBUH, but she plans, oh how she plans, on a return to her throne. This will take place of course after the Chosen One's ascent to the heavens, which will happen forty days and forty nights after his image is carved on Mount Rushmore, on top of Abe Lincoln's.

Then Our MTE will ride into Washington on a road covered with olive branches, on her ass. And Al Gore is in training right now to bear the burden.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote: Sadly, it seems Marshal Pupovich has again wandered off sniffing the bushes, and has forgotten to reward my faithful service. Such is life in the collective.

Comrade General Cat, I am saddened that you felt I had forgotten you. Did I not state "General Cat, if you feel the call for Ministry of Propaganda meets your needs, I feel that would be most welcome.... As for cat houses, I see your point, but what would be the impact on the Pup's Party Pleasure Houses and how will your cat houses work For the Children™?"

I thought that was clear enough but perhaps I should have been less verbose. While I think it is fine if you wish to work in the propoganda Ministry, I am just unsure how you would fit in. After all, we already have a Minister of Propoganda, not to mention Red Square, Laika, and others. I was merely wishing to clarify what position you wished. With your military background, I just thought your talents could be put to better use in other areas. Same with the cat house you proposed, seemed like an area already being served ably by the Party Pleasure House. But then again, a little friendly progressive competition might be a welcome thing on this front in particular.

Now if you give me a few days, perhaps I can think of a position that would be right up your alley, Cat.

The Soon to be Ex-Marshall Pupovich wrote:But then again, a little friendly progressive competition might be a welcome thing on this front in particular.

<b>Competition</b>. Pupovich, report for reeducation. Instanter. You know that competition is a four-letter word, like work. And we will have none of it.

Except of for competition for the attention of the Chosen One, at whose right hand we all aspire to sit.

General Mousey-Tongue wrote:What a glorious vision, Commissar Theocritus! My paws are numb with anticipation of the many glories that await. I think I will be busy that day, however, but will look for the DVD when it comes out.

Speaking of coming out, why are our transgendered comrades not duly represented in our emerging troika? I am thinking of a "I am Pat!" awareness campaign, a la Joe the Plumber Loser. T-shirts, buttons, quick meaningless spots on local morning shows, you know the schtick. It could score some points with our more sexually conflicted comrades while showing the world another dimension of what the One's hopey-changitude will promise our great collective.

Che Gourmet, perhaps you could come up with a confection worthy of the effort...a Pat-ty-Cake perhaps (trite perhaps, but then the people we need to influence are mostly stupid proles). I know your creativity could yield a fabulous flambe or a divine souffle...or whatever.

I should state for the record that I respect all comrades equally regardless of sexual orientation or bizarre preferences, including our most esteemed Chairman. However, I tend to shoot straight, if you get my drift.

Sadly, it seems Marshal Pupovich has again wandered off sniffing the bushes, and has forgotten to reward my faithful service. Such is life in the collective.

I must now attend to party business, my new flamethrower came via UPS today and I can't wait to try it out on some McCain/Palin yard sings...

To The Most Fabulous General Mousy-Tongue,

Gracias, my General. Your advance praise for my abilities gives me inspiration! Perhaps an appetizer to start (one that you especially should like). Foie Gras of Rattus Norvegicus on toasted Brioche w/ Blood Orange Sauce! And this is only for starters. I am working furiously (all these deadlines..grrrrrrr..) on the Obamessiah's Victory Party, but the Inner Circle has yet to give me a date, time, place and head count. It makes it very difficult to prepare. I've also been informed that the Obamessiah's demand for fresh, GREEN, and natural foods is non-negotiable. I shall attempt to steal procure whatever is needed, of course ( I could never let the One, down), but I may require some additional assistance in this massive (?) undertaking. I will keep you informed and if you should wish to sample my new appetizer, feel free to stop by the People's Hells Kitchen anytime. Now where did that machete go?

your fawning servant,

Che' Gourmet

Commissar Theocritus wrote:General Mousey-Tongue, do not think that I have forgotten you and Che Gourmet. He will julienne the Constitution and you may piss on its remains.

Commissar Theocritis:

I would be most honored to julienne the blasphemous rag for you, anytime, but alas, I am still waiting on my knife from Marshal Pupovich. I sent in the purchase order in triplicate, but so far, no knife. Perhaps you would speak to the Marshal? I know how busy he is, especially now, since the World of Next Tuesday, is next Tuesday, yes?


your most loyal comrade,

Che' Gourmet

PS Do you require any help with the get-together you're putting on at Rancho del Rio Grande? I saw something about it on another thread? Also, my favorite color is blue

Che, if you want to help by all means do so. I'm currently putting up stakes along the Rio Grande and in the south 40. What wood do you, in your culinary expertise, think would make the best smoky flavor? Being a Texan I quite like mesquite but it's just not tall enough for good impaling.

At least not west of Abilene, Texas.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

The Soon to be Ex-Marshall Pupovich wrote:But then again, a little friendly progressive competition might be a welcome thing on this front in particular.

<b>Competition</b>. Pupovich, report for reeducation. Instanter. You know that competition is a four-letter word, like work. And we will have none of it.

Except of for competition for the attention of the Chosen One, at whose right hand we all aspire to sit.

My Dear Commissar....True, competition is under most circumstances a thing, a concept to be avoided. However, in this case I fear you failed to consider the competition in relation to the goals of the Party. After all, we are talking about friendly competition between the Pup's Party Pleasure Houses and General Cats proposed Cat Houses. Both of these contribute to The Common Good™ and the Progressive World of Next Tuesday by debasing out moded and deleterious so called "morals" while at the same time lifting up comrades spirits. And it should also be clear that all profits from both enterprises go to the Party (less the traditional skim of course).

Che Gourmet, I can attest that the knives you requested were approved and shipped to your last reported Collective address. Surely you did provide the correct address? It would be very bad for you should it be discovered you had provided a bad address to the Party,

Marshal, if by competition you mean the sort of competition that Khrushchev had with Beria, then I submit that you are right. As you may recall, Beria came to call on Khruschchev but without his bodyguard. K. pulled out a revolver and shot him dead.

Very efficient.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Che Gourmet, I can attest that the knives you requested were approved and shipped to your last reported Collective address. Surely you did provide the correct address? It would be very bad for you should it be discovered you had provided a bad address to the Party,

To Marshal Pupovich, Loyal Servant of the Revolution,

I apologize for my impatience. There was an incident in the People's Hell's Kitchen. The knives were delivered, just like you said they would be. I was not in the kitchen, as I was scrounging for mushrooms, so my sous chef, Wolfgang Pup signed for them. When I returned, the knives had disappeared. Since Wolfgang signed for them, she was confronted and admitted to stealing them. (SHe's cute, but not too bright). I was forced to take action, and I must report that I will need another sous chef.(no hurry, comrade). We did find the knives in the root cellar.

I respectfully request permission to fertilize the back garden with her treacherous, treasonous remains. She's stinking up my kitchen, the puta!! I will not tolerate any dissention in the kitchen ranks, Marshal. I hope you concur.

your faithful soldier in Revolucion,

Che' Gourmet

I cannot of course speak for the Marshal; when I try he bares his canines at me. But the Marshal has never been slow to make the best, and greenest, use of the remains of a traitor.

Has anyone heard from Zell Miller lately?

Ah My Esteemed Commissar Theocritis `

I get the picture clearly, sir!

As for ZELL, the turncoat- he's a contributing editor on Faux News (what a demotion).
I did like his op-ed for the Washinton Times (Nov 4/04) when he said: "A foreign policy based on the strength of "allies" like France is unacceptable. And how about secular socializm, heavy taxes, big spending, weak defense, limitless lawsuis and heavy regulation -" that pack of beagles hasn't caught a rabbit in the South or Midwest in years. "

your servant forever,

Che' Gourmet

I still like that old advertisement: "For sale by French Army. 10,000 rifles. Only dropped once."

Au contraire Commissar Theocritus. As we all know, dogs are innocent, therefore, if Che Gourmet's previously trusted sous chef, Wolfgang Pup allegedly admitted to stealing them (and do note that Che Gourmet noted he was not too bright), I could only conclude that there has been some chicanery committed by holdouts of the Bush regime that have gone unpunished. I sent my erstwhile representative, Sherlock Pup, to do a thorough investigation, and his report vindicated the sous chef Wolfgang Pup of any wrong doing. Therefore, it is my hope that Che Gourmet will see fit to forgive his assistant, and to put him back to work immediately. I believe a weekend assigment to the KMRC for canines will be more than sufficient. The poor pup was not sure he could sign for deliveries, and this could have been made more clear to him. He just got nervous when confronted and took the blame. It is a common trait of most dogs you know?

Actually I don't know any dogs. They tend to bark and shit in the yard and if they like me hunch my leg. In fact I've got to admit that I've never know a dog that did anything other than talent shitting.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Au contraire Commissar Theocritus. As we all know, dogs are innocent, therefore, if Che Gourmet's previously trusted sous chef, Wolfgang Pup allegedly admitted to stealing them (and do note that Che Gourmet noted he was not too bright), I could only conclude that there has been some chicanery committed by holdouts of the Bush regime that have gone unpunished. I sent my erstwhile representative, Sherlock Pup, to do a thorough investigation, and his report vindicated the sous chef Wolfgang Pup of any wrong doing. Therefore, it is my hope that Che Gourmet will see fit to forgive his assistant, and to put him back to work immediately. I believe a weekend assigment to the KMRC for canines will be more than sufficient. The poor pup was not sure he could sign for deliveries, and this could have been made more clear to him. He just got nervous when confronted and took the blame. It is a common trait of most dogs you know?

Good day to you Marshal Pupovich

I, of course took your recommendation and sent Wolfgang Pup to the KMRC for the weekend, even though the PHK was humming with considerable activity due to the Obamessiah's anticipated election day celebration, requiring extra effort from all. You plan to attend, yes? I had not realized that Wolfgang was neutered, not a female. I must inform you though, that Wolfgang was indeed informed that he should sign for deliveries in my absence. And yes, he was acting extremely nervous, but I have that effect on the proles when they invoke my wrath.

As for Sherlock Pup's investigation, he is truly an excellent sleuth, having been trained by the best (you, of course). I did not have the pleasure of being briefed, so did he ferret out the Bushitler's minions? Is the PHK washed clean of the unscrupulous vermin?

anticipating a Big party soon,

Che' Gourmet

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Che, if you want to help by all means do so. I'm currently putting up stakes along the Rio Grande and in the south 40. What wood do you, in your culinary expertise, think would make the best smoky flavor? Being a Texan I quite like mesquite but it's just not tall enough for good impaling.

At least not west of Abilene, Texas.

Good Day to you Commissar Theocritis-

I researched the subject and came up with a stake that shall deliver what you require:

Wild Black Cherry- it's a good choice for your area of Texas and a very hard wood. Smells great,imparts a nice smoky flavor and can be cut to "impaling" size easily. Hope this helps??

your servant,

Che' Gourmet

Thank, you Che, thank you. That will do for the top-drawer proles to be impaled, of course. But one must cut costs, you know. I think that I shall still have a use for the creosote-soaked pines for the prolier ones. But I am having second thoughts though about placing my row of impaling stakes on the Rio Grande, and on the South 40. The winds tend to be <i>from</i> the south and there is nothing quite like the smell of creosote heated to burning temperature.

The solution is, I think, creosote to the northeast of Rancho de Rio Grande where the smell of creosote will waft to the home of the Bu$hitler, Midland, Texas. But on the Rio Grande, the Wild Black Cherry. I'll have to replace them from time to time, of course, but that's okay by me.

Oh. Wild Black Cherry. Thyme? I'm just now experimenting with fruit and herb combinations. I once had a very nice lemon shortbread with thyme in it.

Comrades,

You can still use mesquite on the top-shelf Proles al pastor: use a clean, neutral hard wood or steel for the stake but spread the carcase open next to a bed of mesquite embers.

Creosote fires near Midland, Texas will work for Bu$hitler's ranch, but will not have enough stench for his new home in north Dallas. For the Dallas area flaming proles, kulaks, and other enemies of the people, you will need hard plastic stakes with pools of tar or burning tires.

And make sure it is done on orange-alert smog days for the full effect.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Actually I don't know any dogs. They tend to bark and shit in the yard and if they like me hunch my leg. In fact I've got to admit that I've never know a dog that did anything other than talent shitting.

Of all the statements I have made here, none seem to have had the impact on you as "talent shitting," I am honored Commissar! LOL

However, I am sure you have known dogs with far more talents than that. I could of course give hundreds of examples if so needed. Which brings up a question. What pet does the Obama wish to bring to the White House? We know nothing about his animal proclivities do we?

Comrade Pul, I propose that to properly fumigate the Bu$hitler's North Dallas house we roast kulak carcases (I know you're a Texan; spend time in Britain?) on used-tire dumps, burning them. This would serve a multiple purpose: roasting kulaks, disposing of tires; taking the tire-disposal fee and socking it away; and annoying the Bu$hitler. Always, ALWAYS, do maximum irritation for the dollar.


Pupovich, "talent shitting" is an inspired phrase. It so perfectly describes the left's childish, nihilistic, in-your-face, fuck-you rampage across the cultural landscape of America. The people who, paid for by NEA money, lay an American flag on the ground for people to walk on. Or Andreas Serrano's "Piss Christ," a crucifix in a jar of his own urine. I'm not religious but that inflames me for it is a deliberate slap in the face of people who are, and who do not kill other people and most of whom are pretty good people.

Marshal Pupovich, in response to your query of what pet the Chosen One will bring to the White Temple of Adoration, the answer is Joe Biden, the plagiarism monkey.

Comrade Commissar Theocritus, If I may be so bold, I thoroughly agree with you concerning the plagarism monkey. Joe the Biden is truly fitting. Excellent call comrade, excellent call.

He would also be an encouragement for veterinarian plastic surgeons. "Turn your Mexican hairless chihuahua into a poodle. Dr. Barbarosa's patented hair-plugs for dogs. Financing available."

What great timing, Theocritus! It just so happens I know exactly where we can find those hairplugs for dogs.

Just this morning, as I was waiting in line at the polls, I stood behind a woman wearing black knit pants. She must have had enough dog hair clinging to her butt to make a wig.

Too bad I didn't have a lint roller on me; I might've made her bend over to beat her backside with it.

True story. Not a pretty sight, I assure you.

I have a Targus case for my 17" MacBook and my cats Calvin and Hobbes lie on it, while open. A sandblaster might remove the cat hair. Do you suppose that's talent shedding as opposed to Pupovich's talent shitting?

I see something here. Jeremiah Wright's talent damning, ACORN's talent defrauding, Bill Ayer's talent bombing, Bill Clinton's talent lying and we have to give him the Oscar and the Nobel for that talent.

Michael Moore's talent eating. Rosie O'Donnell's talent screeching.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Actually I don't know any dogs. They tend to bark and shit in the yard and if they like me hunch my leg. In fact I've got to admit that I've never know a dog that did anything other than talent shitting.

Of all the statements I have made here, none seem to have had the impact on you as "talent shitting," I am honored Commissar! LOL

However, I am sure you have known dogs with far more talents than that. I could of course give hundreds of examples if so needed. Which brings up a question. What pet does the Obama wish to bring to the White House? We know nothing about his animal proclivities do we?

Good Comrade Marshal Pupovich -
I heard one of the MSM stations say that the Obamessiah will let his daughters have a dog?? Can't confirm that, however.

your pet loving comrade,

Che' Gourmet

PS Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi's talent smirking.


It would be a good move on Obama's part if he did get a First Pet! In general, people have more trust in petowners. I know that I feel that way.

Except Slick Willie who got one after a focus group told him to.

Yes, it is confirmed, he will be getting a puppy for the White House.... but I am starting to wonder about the commitment of Obama. Most people have a pet before they win election. It is almost as if.... as if.... he is just doing this for an image boost.

Aaaaaaargh! ThoughtCrime™!!! Banging head with shovel! Much better!

Pupovich! That is not thoughtcrime. Whatever the Chosen One is by definition right. If, for example, it is found that the Lincoln Bedroom is being used to warehouse body parts of teenage girls, it will be fine. Because we have learned that the Chosen One's past associations do not matter. His fund-raising, by disabling fraud-protection, does not matter. His desire to tax coal companies out of existence did not matter in the coal states of Ohio, WV, and Penna. By definition nothing that he does can be bad.

If the White House serves human eye balls on toast, that will be fine. So Dear Pupovich, you have committed no Thoughtcrime™.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:(I know you're a Texan; spend time in Britain?)

Shh. Not allowed to leak covert agents identities, even if it was just several weeks hanging out in the pubs near the Empire's Naval Bases, buying Limey Tars warm beer and eating haggis and pickled eggs.

"Eating haggis"? Then Pinkie's shovel will have no fears for you, nor even the most aged and desiccated beet. Or a potato that is mostly eyes, reminding this commissar of a certain age of Hubert Humphrey.