The ancient "Food Pyramid" to be replaced with the more up-to-date "Food Lenin's Tomb".


Obama Administration getting ready to ditch the Food Pyramid

CBS wrote:SAN DIEGO (CBS 8) - The Obama Administration is getting ready to ditch the Food Pyramid, a symbol of healthy eating for the last two decades. In its place, officials are "dishing up" a simple, plate-shaped symbol, sliced into wedges for basic food groups and half-filled with fruits and vegetables. Beside the plate is a smaller circle for dairy, suggesting a glass of low-fat milk or perhaps a yogurt cup. The revised pyramid is part of the administration's crusade against obesity, led by first lady Michelle Obama.

Comrades,

The reason is the most basic. Have you ever seen anyone eat a food Pyramid?

The Major agrees!

Hooray! At last we have an administration that understands what the priorities are. Huge unemployment? Not a problem. Sky high debt? Debt is good! Fat kids? The shame, the shame......

oh spit. Here is the only food pyramid worth pyramiding.

I never liked the food pyramid, the sharp corners would get stuck in my throat.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:I never liked the food pyramid, the sharp corners would get stuck in my throat.

Most loyal comrade, perhaps, this is just a suggestion... perhaps not attempting to consume entire pyramid at once, would be a remedy?

Do plates have the same mystical properties as pyramids? I always ate my pyramids adorned with crystals and a tarot deck.

Let us hope that Dear Leader includes at least 70% of the daily recommended allowance of hopechange.

You listenin' Maksim (who I hate with all my heart)?

This is a special fruit with an odor that's a constant reminder of the past 2-3 years. By edict of the Regime™.

Whinny, I see that man is eating durian. I have a cookbook featuring dishes like panda's-paw stew and it's written by Durian Gray I believe. It is as full of lies as any 30 seconds of Dear O'leader's speeches, but then they don't expect to be believed.

A bas with the realists. I want what feels good, as long as I am told I'm special and you pay for it. I learned this from Katie Couric, before she took CBS news even lower than it was before. How could she do that? It was a respected venue of loony left propaganda and if she'd just husbanded it right, we might not have had Faux Noise.

ConservativeMuzhelozhstvo, fellow comrade, do not make sport with Moochelle's food pyramid. I know that she's trying hard. She's very trying.

I recall seeing her get off Air Force One in shorts. I recall seeing Laura and Barbara Bush and Nancy Reagan get off Air Force One. And I even recall seeing our Many Titted Empress getting off Air Force One. No one had shamed the office of the president of the United States more than Moochelle, even our dear MTE. And she tries. She's also very trying.

This is the woman who wrote a senior thesis at Princeton about the difficulties with her negritude. She complained that people told her she didn't have the grades to get in, but then she was writing from the place that she didn't have the grades to get into. Such chutzpah. But that's a prog's middle name, unless it's red-faced shouting and irrational accusations.

I kept on waiting for her story about how difficult it was to come out to her parents as being black. After all, it must have been a shock, to hear her.

What's that old joke? It is better to be black or gay? It's better to be black because you don't have to tell your parents.

If you're Moochelle, you can structure a life on your pity-pot and then you can marry a Chicago thug dedicated community organizer, who will get you a cushy job at over $300K a year with the University of Chicago, a position that was created for her and which ceased to exist when she moved to Washington to reign over us.

So let's let her have her food bit. It's really just about all she can do. Except look like a strumpet while being the First Lady.

I'm gonna miss the pyramid - can I still shape the stuff in my homeless cart into pyramids?

Father Prog,

Actually, it's a woman eating the durian, and a brave one at that. I don't know if you ever experienced one of these horticultural abominations, but if you ever had, it would be something you would never forget.

Imagine for a moment 95°F with 89% humidity, a large table in the sun with these... horrors piled high. And that's not all: right next to this table of torture is a wet market with ice-filled tables displaying fresh fish, tiger prawns and other assorted squid and octopi, alongside tables of weird vegetables, fresh meat and chicken hanging on hooks unrefrigerated. And the smells all meld together as one unmentionable, indescribable fetid stench that even death itself would choke on.

No better "fruit" can more accurately represent the fetor and horror of the past 3 years than this irrepressable mutation. O'leader's speeches are like this "fruit". Rational people flee on instinct. O'leader's 'supporters' would stick around and inhale deeply until they faint.

Michelle has replaced the “My Pyramid” with “My Plate.” The round shape goes well with the famous Obama logo.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1394099/Obama-eats-2-chili-dogs-fries-day-wife-Michelle-unveils-new-dietary-guide.html
And maybe I have a dirty mind, or maybe my reading comprehension skills aren't what they used to be, but this particular reference to Michelle sort of threw me off for a moment:

The First Lady is renowned for her toned arms and vegetable patch,

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

The First Lady is renowned for her toned arms and vegetable patch,

Fodder for Jay Leno.

Whinny wrote:And the smells all meld together as one unmentionable, indescribable fetid stench that even death itself would choke on.

Very nice, Whinny; a good turn of phrase.

I'm rather awed, actually; I was saying to everyone

1. He could bore drying paint.

2. Democrats are proof that you cannot choke on hypocrisy.

But that bit about death choking on something is rather fine. Bear in mind, though, that as Made Progs, we're all about death-in-life.

Father Prog,

You're absolutely correct that as Made Progs™ we cannot ever choke on hypocrisy. That would be like denying the blood that runs through your veins carrying the things that give life. Rather, democrats will choke on other things that, well, normal, sane people wouldn't give a second thought about. And the reality-based things that deserve a good choking on are laughed at and ridiculed and mocked. That's what keeps a good Prog mind sane and lubricated.

Whinny, I quite agree.

And, bear in mind that's 4:28 am when I write this, I wonder if the modern Democrat could do a smash-up job standing, or lying, or sucking, in for Linda Lovelace. After all, it's obeisance that matters. Obedience to US. Because we're Made Progs™.

But then I just don't know. My hero, Harry Reid, is accused of not having had a thought in decades but I say, nay, nay--he's just progeriffic. He never gags on hypocrisy.

Is it brain deadness, or has he just lied so much in his life that he simply doesn't know he's lying?

That's the beauty of progitude though; no matter how many millions you kill, it's someone else's fault.

Yeah, I'm not seeing the fortifying, nutritious, delicious beets and Stoli anywhere in the new government scheme.

CM, someone with Photoshop skills could make that up.

In fact, there could be various versions of My Plate--I mean, if it's MY plate, then it should have MY stuff on it--which for me would include vodka-filled chocolates, chocolate-flavored vodka, chocolate covered beets, and beet cake with chocolate filling and vodka icing.

Michelle's Plate would have the lobster, spare ribs and tamales that you don't want to stand in front of when she's around, and Barack's Plate could have his ice cream and chili dogs and chewing gum.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: [highlight=#ffff00]Michelle's Plate would have the lobster, spare ribs and tamales[/highlight] that you don't want to stand in front of when she's around, and Barack's Plate could have his ice cream and chili dogs and chewing gum.

Commissarka Pinkie,

And the rest of us—that is, those of us who have the distinct privilege of not only getting to vicariously participate in MOO-chelle's and B. Hussy's ravenous gluttony over foods we only get to see pictures of in cook books, AND are doubly privileged to pay the tab with our tax dollars—get that [highlight=#008000]Soylent Green™[/highlight] stuff that you have showing euphemistically labelled as "Vegetables".

Commissarka Pinkie, I am in an admiration of Your My Plate, and I must say it's remarkably similar to mine, other than the Tequila Jello and People's Kimchi which hold places of honor on My My Plate.

I shudder to think of what's on Mikey More Moore's My Plate...

Pinkie, did you know that Moochelle, the exquisite vulgarian, has hired Bobby Fly to make her lobster tamales?

And Pinkie, since this in in camera, I have decided to come out of the closet and say that I prefer Bombay Sapphire Gin, or rather Mumbai Non-conflict Sapphire Gin, to Putinka or even Stoli. Now I know, I know that this seems heretical but look at the way the Brits are going. They're going down the tubes too, so why not?

Today I was listening to that arch-criminal Rush Limbaugh and he said that we had to look closely to see if Dear O'Leader is meaning to drive the country into a ditch or he's just pretty goddamned stupid and arrogant. Well, Rush didn't say that but I figured out he meant to.

How in the world did that get out? Dear Odimbo has surrounded himself with people who have never done honest work, who have been governmental or university parasites all of their lives, who who know more than anyone else.

To the trained eye of a Made Prog, it is perfectly obvious that the Thief in Chief intends to drive the country into a ditch, because even in his dimness he realizes that he cannot even understand the ideas that were in the heads of the Founding Fathers, and when he thinks that he might, he curls into a foetal position screeching, "Make it go away! I'm the biggest thing in the universe! There is nothing better than I am! I'm the ultimate affirmative-action baby! I'm the stupid child of a stupid white hippy chick and all I have done all my life is work my look and have people shove their arms up my ass and make me a marionette.

"I shouldn't have to produce results because I'm Barack Hussein Obama. The least qualified person to be elected to nationwide office in the history of this country and I know I'm great because all of the little Weinerdicks in CBS, ABC, and so forth tell me that I'm great.

"And when I kiss the mirror, I tell myself I'm great.

"I was editor of the law review but I didn't publish anything.

"Bill Ayers wrote my two books.

"Oprah was smart enough to bail on Jeremiah Wright but I'm the world's biggest solipsistic, arrogant dimbo and I stayed and stayed.

"Because he hates America and America is bigger than I am, so it must be destroyed.

"What's two and two?"

Father Prog,

There is so much current truth in what you say. Some people out there say you need to have the "right tool for the job". For example, you wouldn't use a screwdriver to set a nail, nor would you use a hammer drill as a drywall screw gun. But MOO-chelle—in all her magnificent, progilicious brilliance—has turned that timely idiom upside down on its face by taking on the thankless chore of becoming the Republik's Food Nanny™. When the job requires setting an example, there is nothing better, and more "proggy", then just uttering to the masses what they should do while she does the opposite. Some say the example is "hypocrisy", but real progs understand the role a democrat 'Linda Lovelace' deals with that nonsense, and follow accordingly.

"I shouldn't have to produce results because I'm Barack Hussein Obama. The least qualified person to be elected to nationwide office in the history of this country and I know I'm great because all of the little Weinerdicks in CBS, ABC, and so forth tell me that I'm great. MMMM, MMMM, MMMM! The FIRST EVER Affirmative Action president demonstrates how it's done not based on merit, or qualifications, but on skin color alone!

"And when I kiss the mirror, I tell myself I'm great." MOO-chelle tells him otherwise.

"I was editor of the law review but I didn't publish anything." It's SO progilicious when you can say anything you want to and people believe it on its face!

"Bill Ayers wrote my two books." He also should have written up a birth cert, too, while he was at it.

"Oprah was smart enough to bail on Jeremiah Wright but I'm the world's biggest solipsistic, arrogant dimbo and I stayed and stayed." [d]Oprah didn't see any profit in staying, but B. Hussy never heard a single sermon in the 20+ years. No, really! He said so!

"Because he hates America and America is bigger than I am, so it must be destroyed."He's a prophet; a messianic harbinger of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™! He understands you can't put new wine into old wine skins. First you have to cause the rubble before you can rise from the ashes like the Phoenix of Progdom.

"What's two and two?" To him it's 14-trillion.

There are times when one wonders if Moochelle has something which Tony Weiner would like to have. Or at least a bigger one.

I ought not make fun of Moochelle; a vulgarian as crass and self-entitled as she is is hard to come by. Most people need generations of indolence, either on the government dole, or in a union--but I repeat myself--to feel that self-entitled.

I wonder if I can modify the surgical procedures in Jiffy-Lobo to beef up the self-entitlement. That's what's really missing, you know.

We need an industry which processes fractious proles, and turns them docile, to their masters, the Made Progs, the water carriers for this new, stunning adventure in American totalitarianism, but these people, on seeing a camera, especially from Faux Noise, need to be more aggressive in their demands.

I, Father Prog, promise that I shall never rest until everyone in America is entitled from the moment of birth.

If they get to birth.

Oh, even then. Some abortion clinics give the late-term ones, you know where they stick Meztenbaum scissors (I knew that old Prog senator was good for something) into the head of a fetus, which they kill and pull out of the woman's womb.

Then they wrap it in a blanket and give it to the not-quite-mother to hold so she can "bond" with the lump of protoplasm that she just had murdered decided it would be inconvenient for her to keep.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:I, Father Prog, promise that I shall never rest until everyone in America is entitled from the moment of birth.

If they get to birth.

Oh, even then. Some abortion clinics give the late-term ones, you know where they stick Meztenbaum scissors (I knew that old Prog senator was good for something) into the head of a fetus, which they kill and pull out of the woman's womb.

Then they wrap it in a blanket and give it to the not-quite-mother to hold so she can "bond" with the lump of protoplasm that she just had murdered decided it would be inconvenient for her to keep.

Father Prog,

Indeed they do! There are some glorious pictures of the procedure—and aftermath, that are simply... well, inspiring! How touching it must be for the not-quite-mother-to-be to be "bonding" with a blob of bloody goo missing certain characteristics that would define it as something other than... well, a bloody blob of goo! That could have been another "George Bush", or "Rumz-feld", or "Dark Lard "Chain-me"! Just think: no more "[sauer]Kraut-hammers", "George Wills", "William F. Buckleys", or "Michael Medveds"! Isn't this really all about the eugenics of progdom and selective breeding?When science arrives at the point where they can detect the "prog gene", watch out bible-thumpers!

I'm sure when they're busy at work, scurrying around like little demons running with scissors at your friendly neighborhood Planned Parenthood Jiffy-Bort™, they're out in the back where they throw the scraps and carnage couting each one as a "conservative that coulda", but didn't.

All the entitlement, you see. A baby is not a human; it's a choice. Now in the first trimester one might argue that it's not viable and doesn't have say the brain functions needed to survive without being so horribly crippled that it never has human interaction. One MIGHT argue that.

But I insist on late-term abortions when there is no doubt that we're killing a human being.

What about what I have heard is the Jewish statement? A child can be killed until its Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah. Then it's an adult. Until then, the children are property.

Let us expand that. Anyone who is not a Prog has not become a full human being and may be eliminated by the decision of any board or high-ranking party member.

That way we could stick Metzenbaum scissors into Rush Limbaugh's head.

He doesn't need to be around, asking difficult questions and noticing things.

The worst thing is that he catches our lies. Just how sporting is that?

Anyway a lie is nothing. We use words to mean what we want them to mean.

It's the emotional veracity that counts. Never forget that: our emotions trump facts and other people have to pay when facts confound us, so that we are not made aware of our completely insane and unworkable Weltanschaaung.

Thanks to Comrade Red Square for adding the visual agitation. I regret that I am too poor for PhotoShop.

Let's not forget the carrots ...
... and the stick ...

And no happy meals, dang it!

Did Moochele send a runner to Five Guys to get Dear Leader's approval on this, or did she just once again follow the ways of the MTE and assume "We are the President" and set policy?