Days after attacking the U.S. Embassies in Cairo and Benghazi and killing an American ambassador and other personnel, Islamic protesters apologized to US officials and presented a peace offering to President Obama, which he graciously accepted in the spirit of friendship and renewed cooperation.

The gift, an exquisitely carved statue of a wooden horse in a style that was pioneered in the Mediterranean countries, is shown below:

While Administration and State Department officials praised this token of friendship, they at the same time condemned Mitt Romney for his attempts to foment an international crisis out of a peace rally that "got a little out of hand."

Speaking off the record, a DOJ official accused Romney of instigating the entire episode for political purposes. "Our investigation is going to reveal that Romney used money from Bain Capital to illegally fund the anti-Muslim film, which got the peaceful folks all upset. The Department of Justice will have no problem proving it."

Former MF Global CEO Jon Corzine agreed that Romney, a former executive officer of Bain Capital, should be in jail for ignoring his fiduciary duty and risking customer money for selfish purposes. "Such a terrible abuse of trust should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law," said Corzine.

Still many preferred to focus on the positive. Speaking from a bunker deep under the [censored] mountains, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sounded optimistic: "I told you so! Smart power does work! We knew these people meant no harm - and we were right!"

Soon-to-be-reelected President Barack Obama, who worked all day at his crisis management center on George Clooney's poolside patio, addressed the media to deliver an important message about Mitt Romney's many gaffes during the past few days, particularly the statement that Egypt was no longer an American ally. "I would never act so stupidly," he said.

Mr. Obama went on to reaffirm his belief that Islam is "the religion of peace," asserting that the only ones not swayed by Islam's friendly disposition are "jingoistic hatemongers, bigots, and Republicans," who are "the real enemy."

The president informed reporters that, as his way of saying "no hard feelings" and to indicate that the apology was accepted, he will honor the wishes of the protesters by installing the peace statue either at Fort Knox or a top-secret nuclear weapons plant. Mr. Obama has requested that sniffing guard dogs be kept away from the statue as dogs are considered dirty and offensive in Islam.

I want to be very clear on this. Some are accusing President Obama of lacking feelings of remorse over the tragedy in Lybia. This is grossly untrue.

Comrades, this is GLORIOUS! We have absolutely nothing to fear,as TSA screens all old ladies and three year olds who will try to get through the perimeter of unarmed Marines guarding the embassy where this will be delivered.

Furthermore, on good authority, FLATUS (who is married to the most voracious consumer of intelligence products without attending a meeting) says that unless this statue is full of fried foods or tamales, it is absolutely safe!

Works every time...

I would like to point out that no soft drinks over 16 ounces will be permitted at the Wooden Horse Gala, and that the only alcoholic beverage being sold - in order to help finance the re-election of B. Hussein Obama, the greatest president in American history - will be official White House Beer™.

In addition, the Southern Poverty Law Center has issued a warning to the highway patrols and police forces in all 57 states to be on the lookout for right wing terrorists and former military personnel who may claim that the gift horse should be be looked in the mouth, as well as elsewhere.

Music at the Gala will be provided by Neil Young and Crazy Horse, in spite of Rethugglikkkan raaaacist claims that southern man don't need him around anyhow.

Of course Obama knows everything that's going on - there are TVs in Las Vegas!

This is another one from Steve Bowers.

Dear Leader and his crack team are on the case to determine who built the chaos in Egypt.

The American Embassy in Egypt will receive a special gesture of apology: an enormous black sphere that recalls the sacred black stone of Islam, with a festive sparkler on top.