Romney's Tax Returns Released as Layered PDFs

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As Romney belatedly releases his tax returns, many experts question their authenticity, converting the documents to PDF and examining them for hidden layers. According to Sen. Harry Reid, some of the tax tables used were not in effect at the time of the alleged "returns."

This issue of the New York Times examines the controversial GOP candidate's "taxes" debacle in a series of articles appearing on its front page under the following headlines:

"Silence from Sheriff Joe Arpaio speaks volumes": Mother Jones reporter exposes Republican double standard

47% of likely voters have no idea what a PDF is: More causes for depression in middle-class families

Voter ID on layered PDF still not accepted: Immigrant groups worried

Obscure fringe group demands layered PDF of Obama's College records, selective service card

Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update. 17 local acrobats killed; Adobe evacuates Karachi branch

Special thanks to Tovarichi for the idea!

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I have no idea what PDF means in English either. Must be code for something evil. But I do know what PDF stands for in Italian. It is shorthand for Pelo Di Figa. That is, Hair Of Pussy. In Italian they have an expression. A PDF pulls more than forty angry bulls downhill. Coincidentally, in English it abbreviates into HOP. Is it HOP of the beer, or HOPe of Dear Leader?

Sorry for the babbling, the two comrades in me have been fighting a rough but principled proletarian revolution between them lately, replete of plots and purges.

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Is it true that Romney (the enemy of our brothers "the 47%") keeps his tax records sealed in the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake but the Mormon Prophet has examined them and verifies their accuracy and that they have been paid??

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The glorious day is fast approaching when we will get to REDISTRIBUTE all of Romney's and the 53%'ers ill gotten gains!


That along with QE374 and soon we'll all be equally RICH!


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Thinks a "tax return" is the check he gets from the GuvMint (f/k/a "Obamamoney")

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Have these Romney Tax Returns™ passed the Dan Blather "smell test" for "authenticity" just as the Bush national guard documents passed? Where's Bill Burkett when you need him?!

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I demand the address of the proprietor here!
Once again, the topic and graphics here has caused me to soil my personal garments.
I simply must be compensated for my cleaning bill!

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Pilot to Navigator, Use caution when announcing to the entire Party that you are in posession of "PERSONAL garments." All belongs to the State, redistributed by Dear Leader (PBUH) as he sees to each according to his needs.

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"The Change", comrade Tovarichi, of our Obamanation is so exciting, I lost my place for a moment.

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Am I to understand that Romney uses Tax Tables to mis-compute his taxes? Did he do this intentionally in order to cause a free association in the minds of whte racists with the word "chair", and thus remind them of the despicable Eastwood empty-chair slander at the quadrennial Republican lynching of the oppressed in August? I say "yes", it's obvious this is more racist code talk from the party of "NO!" Damn them and their racist dog whistles, right Chris?

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Speaking of layers, why not call our blessed Messiah: Onion Boy!

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PDF was originally meant to stand for Portable Document Format. But these days it stands for Prog Difference Factor.

You know, like the nun at the Democrat convention who said, "We're better people." I didn't know that nuns no longer considered humility a virtue, only their own hubris, but then we're all in this together, aren't we, progs? Except for the people who have to pay.

And that's what I mean. I'm a prog. Which means that I am de facto superior to other people. Because I say that I am.

Now I'm trying, as we all are, to make it de jure also. We are working for our own set of Jim Crow laws but for free speech.

After all, if the president of Pahkistahn can call for peace by outlawing insults to the Prophet, then the complete quelling of free speech is nigh.

I cannot tell you how happy I am that ThoughtCrime™ will soon be punishable legally. Because it's a crime if I think that it is.

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That Son of a Beach...hiding Tax money in hidden .ai files with locked layers & saving them as .pdf's!...worm your way out of this Mittens...we, the Peoples Republic of Out Of Work Prepress Employees fart in your general direction! We must unite & stop this knowledge of complicated is time to make MS Publisher the Universal Graphics Solution!

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I guess I should introduce myself, this is 'da Fungus & haven't been around this many smart asses since my last family reunion!

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Ohhhhh comrades all this mooslim anger and rage is making me so.. envious and ANGRY! Dammit, kill something!! Burn something!! Smash something!! Yes!! Yes!! YES!!!

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Folks you just don't get it. If we're going back to the Middle Ages, we need a PDP-8, where you toggle in the bootstrap program with toggle switches, which lets it boot using a paper tape. Which lets you into a BASIC interpreter!

This is sheer bliss. What could be better than a KSR-33 reading paper tape? Screw that iPhone. Screw that fancy Intel hardware. What's that Penryn stuff? Gimme a 4004! That's what I want. That's true Prog chic! A 4004!

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Father Prog,

I'll be happy with a couple of old tin cans that still have a bar code on them, connected together with twine. It's more important -- to me at least -- that I have a kick starter for my camel.

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Ah. Your camel. I know what you mean, and I'm winking furiously right now.

My "camel" is an Audi with a W-12 engine. I mean, I can't get to all the impalings, auto-da-fes, and Maoist self-criticism, much less the ritual cleansings without that baby. Would a prole really feel that he'd been done to death in a dignified manner if I, Father Prog, hadn't watched him be impaled?

Bear in mind that if you think that we will eat you last, you've already been eaten.

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Father Prog,

I "hear" what your sayin'. My bumpersticker, which was rush-shipped to me, just in time for the up and coming Obama Famine by Mrs. Al, says "My other 'car' is a camel". She explained to me that a "camel kick starter" is very new technology for the 7th Century crowd, which consists of placing a firecracker up the camel's arse.

The difference between a "camel" with a W-12 and one with a kick starter is you can eat one, but not the other.

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Ah, Whinny, but which one has the energy? I ask you that. Hydrocarbons have lots of joules per kilogram, but think of the fat in a camel's hump. I personally am moving up to the Lexus of camels: the dromedary.

Also please note that in the California of Saudi Arabia, they sell camels for good eatin', and they even let some women drive cars.

That I don't know about. After all, being a prog is never letting anyone do anything he wants to do, except for sex, then it's get off, get off, get off.

But responsibility? Never. That's why we're progs. We hate personal responsibility and we're always aching to put responsibility on other people.

That is after all the very definition of a prog. "It's HIS fault, and bow and scrape to me because my thoughts are Pure, my intentions Good, and therefore the sun shines out my ass. Take it as read."

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Yeah! YEAH!! BURN the PDP8! Death to DEC! SMASH the 40004! Death to Intel!

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Personally I pine for the days of the old computers, which were made with telephone relays. Standard maintenance was taking each relay out, and dropping it onto a concrete floor from a height of one meter. That would knock the grit out of the contacts. But then that would put the companies, Belkin for example, who made relay-contact-burnishing tools out business.

Has Belkin made a deal with Lord O? Bear in mind that the only thing that matters is being in on the con.

That's the only thing that matters. Reality matters nought; truth is an inconvenient happenstance. And it's a happenstance, and not truth. There is no causality, only circumstantial evidence.

Which we can manufacture as we will.

There it is. Move along, nothing to see here, nothing to see here, as I spit on my palms and gleefully go about the necessary effort of depriving others of their rights and properties.

Because I'm a Made Prog, and because the sun shines out my ass. Just because it's my ass.

Don't tell Lord O that though; he thinks the sun shines out his ass.