Saudi Traveling Salesman Receives Beneficial Deportation

Dear Comrades,

Commissars at the White Fortress have announced that a Saudi Arabian traveling pressure-cooker salesman, who happened to be in Boston during the Boston Marathon and coincidentally was hospitalized because of unexplained chemical burns, is being quickly deported by order of Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama in the interests of world harmony and international friendship.

News of his arrest, originally reported by the American Media Collective Office #17 (CNN), was later denounced and the supervisors of this office issued a formal self-denunciation for unauthorized reporting. The Department of Social Justice is now looking for two individuals, who they plan to classify as ‘white racists’ once they are apprehended and encouraged to confess.

“This is not the Saudi you are looking for,” said a Department of Homeland Security officer stationed outside the Boston Federal Detention Center. “You can go about your business. Move along.”

While the Party usually reserves deportation for serious political criminals, such as German homeschoolers, this case of diplomatic deportation was approved by the USSA and Saudi authorities to prevent misunderstandings and potential confusion. The Department of Crime Redistribution issued a memorandum in March that said that Middle Easterners had fulfilled their international violence quota in March through their hard work in Afghanistan, Syria, and Mali, and so no further international terrorism could be attributed to them this fiscal year.

European and American whites, however, have been underperforming in their violence quotas, despite repeated pressure from the Party, including a recent gun control bill and talk of legalizing millions of undocumented workers so that they can partake of even more wealth redistributions.

Members of the Central Committee are discussing alternative plans, including the collapse of the US dollar, so as to motivate whites to fulfill their violence quota and help provide the Party the correct circumstance for imposing martial law, which will speed up the implementation of the Party’s Progressive reforms.

Saudi Jihadists are our allies in the struggle against the Bourgeois! Condemn White European violence wherever you are told it happens!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
 

I am support all camel jockeys!.... Ahabs! We know that the Rightwinger racist haters want to rid the word of all Ahabs, guilty or less than guilty. That is not correct and not something dear leader supports.

"Ban pressure cookers! Support Johnny Ahab and other darker- skinned innocent minorities!" -- you are free to use new slogan.
 

I can't understand this. If you and me send a angry letter to a fellow Marxist in Capitol Hill for not being Leninist enough, the FBI has no qualms about placing our photos on milk cartons in less than 12 hours, but a few Saudis or Chechens leave backpacks in Boston, and all of a sudden no one can show their pictures. How come the unequal treatment?

I denounce the favoritism that Janet Napolitano's FBI has towards Non-Marxist Islamofascists nuts.


 

“These are not the Saudis you are looking for. Move along.”
 

Comrades, should we as a society sanction the use of interrogation and questioning innocent terroristspeople for the sake of self preservation? In a free, colorblind society wereradical individuals people could be given enough love, capitulation, and appeasement theseterrorists people under normal conditions, just might accept us as their close friends. In fact, isn’t it time that we stop using the word “terrorist” which is a totally subjective and downright hurtful label that should not be placed on anyone. Look, there was a time when a young man with dark skin and wonderful dreams of 78 virgins could come to this great nation without fear or questions! Quite frankly, isn’t embracing our differences the most important thing we can possibly do at this time without all this smoke and mirrors about terrorism.
 

Have pressure cooker will travel.



 

Comrades! We should applaud this obvious attempt by Premier Hussein to show Dear Leader Kim Chong Umm-umm-umm what a first class piker he really is. Nobody looks out for a Brother like Barack, and this action on behalf of another Jew hatera valued International partner like the Saudis is intended to make Kim tremble in his cheaply made Nork loafers.

Premier Hussein never wastes a good crisis, and a good bombing with graphic pictures on the intarwebs is a disaster tailor made to show those Norks how to run a Stalinist regime once and for all, especially if he can run that bastard Boehner out of town on a rail and get Tovarichi Nazi Peloski back in charge over in the House. With Commissar Reid still over in the Senate there's no telling what can be accomplished this time around.....

Maybe we can get the Saudis to ritually behead the Boston Bomber(s) for us and post the video on Liveleak.com.....
 

Sheik chic



 

So as not to offend our Mooslim comrades, the FBI should immediately assume the ways of TSA and begin searching and groping all old post-menopausal white women. They are truly cranky and are the only ones who can work a pressure cooker.

FORWARD!
 

As a rule, I am opposed to genocide ... generally.
 

Immigrants - they do the work Americans won't do.



 

Darth Axelrod, who correctly inferred that this was a diabolical act only reserved for Tea Party extremists, is now busily spinning another web by "connecting the dots" associating these two foreigners as indeed group leaders of the rightwing extremist group.

Meanwhile, Bawney Fwank, perpetually assuming a genuflecting position, is still praising Big Gov™ for having an oppprtunity to shine at its best.
 

Dear leader must form a committee to study dangerous appliances, so we, the informed elite, can do investigated background checks into purchasers of such appliances. White foreigners with loaded appliances is a clue to something.... possibly the lack of appliance in Motherland Chechnya ...... and welcoming Americans?!

As we can see, dear leader is already involved in dangerous appliance study group.



 

And speaking of dangerous appliances: What do we actually know about this "so called" Maytag Man?



 

As a formerly avid whitewater kayaker, let me assure the non-whitewater-informed public that being Maytagged is NOT pretty, and can be, in fact, QUITE dangerous!
 

My point exactly! Beware of kayakers with smiles and wrenches!
 

Comrade Craptek, I thought you said "wenches" at first. And I thought immediately of Comrade May Putout.

I don't know why.
 

Comrade ROCK,

I believe you're tampering with my mind comrade. (what's left of it) I could swear she wasn't there earlier. Is this some kind of Cube test? Must I take screenshots of all your posts now?
 

I.M. Craptek

Must I take screenshots of all your posts now?

Comrade - you really don't need to burden yourself.






 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

Comrade Craptek, I thought you said "wenches" at first. And I thought immediately of Comrade May Putout.

I don't know why.
You know why R.O.C.K.!!



 

I'm just sitting on shore enjoying the view and takin' a break from beet processing.