The altitude was to blame for Obama's bad debate performance

Comrades,

Glorious news. As our party has been in full panic/repair/blame mode today for our Dear Leader's sub-par performance, we came across this reason from Comrade Gore:



Other reasons I've gathered today:

-Poor Dear Leader was too tired from his presidential duties
-It was the moderator's fault
-Obama won the debate, Romney just doesn't look likable and isn't as cool

We need more excuses, comrades! So I've consulted our groupthink tank - what other excuses facts can we come up with?
 

All the experts agree, Obama won the debate!

All the studies show Obama won the debate!
 

Reuters has uncovered the reason for Barack's poor performance...
too much partying the night before and not enough debate prep!




 

The Vorwärts, I mean Forward thinking of our Dear Leader is simply too advanced for everyone to understand. It isn't that he couldn't answer simple questions it is that all of us are too dense to understand that that is exactly how you answer those questions!

Either understand now or in re-education camps.
 

Why must you ask, comrades? Surely, it was Bush's fault.
 

He inherited the worst debate material since Jimmy Carter. How was he supposed to turn that around in 4 months of preparation?
 

Princess Nookie

Why must you ask, comrades? Surely, it was Bush's fault.

Comrade Michael Moore insists it was Commander John Kerry's fault: "This is what happens when u pick John Kerry as your debate coach." Perhaps it was Bush impersonating Kerry by wearing a ketchup bottle Kerry mask. I'll bet we find the real Commander Kerry tied up in the basemet of his yacht or something.
 

As usual comrade Gore has the wisdomful insight for the excuses reason and we may not! should look no further. OF COURSE it was the altitude. The-One-And-Only-One obviously was required to journey down off of his from on high to the lowly altitude for Him of only 5000 feet. The He-Himself was no doubt sickened being forced to breath the same thick air as that rethuglikkan criminal whose name I will not *spit* spit. To think that The-One-And-Only-One might have even taken into HisPerson some particle of that pollution should have the People™, or at least Sandra, on their knees giving thanks for such a brave and fearless Leader as is The-One-And-Only-One.
 

Comrades, I am losing hope in Dear Leader.

I fear I may need to be re-educated. Where is the nearest gulag?
 

I DENOUNCE MY HOME COLLECTIVE OF COLORADO FOR FOSTERING A REICH WING ALTITUDE!
 

You know what's actually funny? We all know that B. Hussein Obama has been coddled all his life and is a full blown, to the point of mental illness, narcissist. He has surrounded himself with a "team" in DC of yes-men, who constantly tell him he's right, he's the best, etc. And he believes it.

People like that don't tolerate things like what happened last night well. We saw good indications of that when he started stammering. I think there's a good chance that he's going to be so wound up - and therefore so confused - by the third debate, maybe even the second, that he actually loses it in front of 50 million people. His bluff is finally being called, and I really don't think he's going to be able to handle it :)



 

Dear Leader has just announced that it was not the real Romney at the debate last night. No doubt it was Romneys image projected on John Kerry, the beloved debate coach for the Presidential debate preparation. No Rethugglikans have such mastering of facts and numerals. Dear Leader (PBUH) is in control, all is well. Nothing to see here, move along...
 

 

I say it was all of the above, and the prospect of 20th anniversary sex with Michelle later that evening.

Just close your eyes, Mr. President, and think of Ohio...
 

 

I have both the reason and the solution to our dear leader's problems so that he can put that capitalist pig Romney in his proper place next time they meet.
 

Dirty, lying, cheating Mitt Romney is up to his tricks again!

In this video we found him pulling out CHEAT NOTES!


 

NancyPeloski

Dirty, lying, cheating Mitt Romney is up to his tricks again!

In this video we found him pulling out CHEAT NOTES!

Comrade, those weren't cheat notes, but PINK SLIPS for O'bama supporters VIA BAIN KKKAPITAL!!! He actually used... math to confuse Dear Leader about the dastardly 5TRIL TAX CUTS he's going to give all those "rich" people who still have jobs!

Luckily for us we have the Back-up Chair for Round #2.
 

Along with the birthers, I say we give a name to those people who believe that was really a handkerchief.

Henceforth such wackos shall be known as SNOTRAGGERS!
 

There is no chance in h*ll that the cheating rethuglican capilist criminals can match almighty Dear Leader in the 2nd debate, once he's been upgraded to DOHT* techology! FORWARD comrades! KT *Dual OverHead Totus

Kommissar Schweinhund

I have both the reason and the solution to our dear leader's problems so that he can put that capitalist pig Romney in his proper place next time they meet.
 

Obama came in as a solid second place.

That's a silver medal in my book!