The New People's Airlines: Save Time, Money, and Climate!

Aircraft that had gotten a second life after being converted into cargo freighters, now get a third life after being converted to passenger-stuffing flying vats

Hi, The People's Anthony Sullivan here for the latest, and greatest State-approved breakthrough in airline innovation!

As airlines are getting more and more cramped, we here at the Cube fast-tracked the process; introducing, the People's Airline!

When you first see our innovative, ground-breaking aircraft fleet, you might think, "they're all just cargo freighter planes, complete with bare floors." No, foolish comrade! These are planes that have been carefully innovated to fit even more passengers in, specially designed at our Karl Marx Treatment Center.

With the state-approved loading method, we no longer have to suffer letting the passengers in one-by-one. In a time-saving innovative procedure, all ticket holders are crammed into a special multi-person cargo loading truck and inserted all at once through a large, patented cargo door.

Never again think about extra leg space, seat belts, or folding tables. Our revolutionary design provides plenty of space at the top of the pile, closer to the ceiling. Conscientious fellow passengers are expected to act responsibly and self-rotate, allowing everyone to enjoy the roomy accommodations at the top every five minutes or so, raising awareness about the struggle of their comrades at the bottom. Frequent turbulence-assisted revolutions of the aircraft provide for an equal rotation of passengers on a regular basis. It also provides for a unique and unforgettable inflight entertainment.

What are you waiting for? Book a state-approved ticket today and fly with us to save time, money, and the environment. You will absolutely never regret flying with us or else!
 

 

Captain Craptek

Is this your new advertisement campaign to draw in more gullible victims eager customers?

You good boy, you deserve to brand the DC-10-30 above! (on a serious note, I removed the "Avient Cargo" logo, but couldn't come up with a "People's Airline" livery) Surely you will not disappoint, as you haven't with this (presumed) ad!
 

 

Captain Craptek

Nice!

You are now promoted to PR/Marketing, and can fly our fleet to your pleasure, if you like flying, that is.
 

The people's Anthony Sullivan

Captain Craptek

Nice!
Cut from the shoulder, ground chuck ranges from 15 to 20 percent fat and was favored by our tasters for its "rich" flavor and "tender," "moist" texture. The best choice for burgers. Tasters found ground sirloin a bit "dry" in burgers, though it did have "good beef flavor."You are now promoted to PR/Marketing, and can fly our fleet to your pleasure, if you like flying, that is.



*Thanks to the keen eye of Comrade Betinov
 

No windows, that's a nice touch too.
 

The Kitchen Aid meat grinder attachment is a steaming pile of crap. It is flimsy, slow, and tends to merely mash the meat instead of actually grinding it. Not only is this filthy capitalist trying to invade the Cube's purity with his filthy capitalist advertising, he is advertising a shoddy product. Double plus ungood.
 

Ivan Betinov

The Kitchen Aid meat grinder attachment is a steaming pile of crap. It is flimsy, slow, and tends to merely mash the meat instead of actually grinding it. Not only is this filthy capitalist trying to invade the Cube's purity with his filthy capitalist advertising, he is advertising a shoddy product. Double plus ungood.

My dear comrade, this meat grinder is not part of this. I only sell what the state tells me. If the meat grinder that's not even a part of this airline is crap, take it to the superiors.

Unfortunately, you have a point with these products being suspiciously kapitalistic; is the state trying to float itself with kapitalism?
 

The people's Anthony Sullivan

Unfortunately, you have a point with these products being suspiciously kapitalistic; is the state trying to float itself with kapitalism?

Lest we all forget, Comrade Karl himself postulated proved that capitalism is an inevitable stage of economic development which is necessary to raise the class consciousness of the proletariat and set the stage for communism.

Therefore, the state's engagement in capitalist activities and enterprises is required for us to reach the Wonderful World of Next Tuesday™.
 

Imperatorskiy Pingvin

Therefore, the state's engagement in capitalist activities and enterprises is required for us to reach the Wonderful World of Next Tuesday™.

Eh








Rumour has it "The Glorious World of Next Tuesday" was getting worn...
 

The people's Anthony Sullivan

Imperatorskiy Pingvin

Therefore, the state's engagement in capitalist activities and enterprises is required for us to reach the Wonderful World of Next Tuesday™.

Eh


Rumour has it "The Glorious World of Next Tuesday" was getting worn...

Comrade,

You mustn't listen to the mutterings of the discontented. If the voices persist seek your nearest Jiffy-Lobo^tm center and ask for their Spring Special. (they tell me it's nearly painless)

Dr. "call me in the morning" Craptek
 

This has been posted before, but it never hurts to remind us of the true people's heroes of aircraft design.

Introducing... AirBust!


 

Red Square

This has been posted before, but it never hurts to remind us of the true people's heroes of aircraft design.

Introducing... AirBust!



Oh goody!

This happens to be a KLM Cargo plane (note the window-less fuselage)!

We can make space for this ridiculousness brilliance in the fleet!