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Help for Our Fallen Congresspersons

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Your congressperson needs your help. During this midterm election cycle, casualties are anticipated to be high, very high. Progressive congresspersons are so desperate in some districts, that they're praising Bush! Even liberal Republicans, our most reliable allies and useful idiots have been swept aside by TEA Party advocates whose mouths foam with white anger, racial hatred, and xenophobia (and as soon as we get proof, we'll post it). Old campaign slogans are failing. Redistribution of wealth doesn't even excite college students any more. Teenage girls no longer swoon when Dear Leader speaks. Chris Matthews has even been overheard saying, “What happened to the tingle?” There may not any longer be enough Necro-Americans to make that all important difference on Election Day. This means that many of our comrades in congress are facing the possibility of losing their seats.

Don't you see what's ahead for them? These soldiers of progress, after being cut down in this upcoming midterm election, face a bleak and horrible future. Some of them may have to find real jobs. That's right, real jobs. Like the kind of job where somebody hires you according to your talent, character, ability, experience, reliability, and a host of other discriminatory criteria. Is it fair that a congressperson, once so equal among us, should have to endure something so humiliating?

But it gets worse. You see, some of these congresspersons, now on their own in a bewildering wilderness of reality, may have to spend their own money. They'll have to live within their means! If they spend too much, they might have a check returned, or they might have to sell something, or just wait until they've earned (please forgive my profanity) enough money to buy a new beachfront home, a new jet, a new yacht, or maybe just a crummy new BMW.

Let us remember who they are: these former guardians of the Greater Good, these protectors from achievement, these educators of our children, these worthy recipients of our tribute, in short, these selfless heroes. We can't stand by and let them suffer such an ignoble fate. We won't! No, as they stood for us, let us stand for them!

You see, there is hope for unelected congresspersons. Won't you show how much you care by giving generously to the Blogunov House of Hope? All it takes is a little change, or a lot of change from every comrade. Every comrade who donates will receive permission to wear a ribbon to show how they feel the pain of our fallen congresspersons. Isn't your congressperson worth a few thousand measly dollars? You and I can make a difference. You and I can adopt a congressperson and join our resources to protect him or her from the ravages of reality. Together, we can. Together we will. Give today, and show that you care.

Please make all checks payable to Komissar Blogunov, House of Hope Project.

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Here's $ 686.00 for our plighted congress-peoples. In turn, we at the collective will be having the beet broth every other night for dinner........they are so worth the financial sacrifice.

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Komissar Blogunov-

Somehow you forgot the magic words "Public Servant". Upon hearing those words, us Proles are supposed to swoon with deep admiration for them.

These are the American Nomenklatura.

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How many poor public servants will this feed, Komissar? (sniff, sob)

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"Please expect to be receiving multiple wheelbarrows filled with my bankrolls.

Sincerely,

George Sorass"

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Ah, this does my heart good to see the Collective rally around our most equal Public Servants in their distress. I've got enough now to look for a location either in southern France or in New Zealand to begin construction on the Blogunov House of Hope. Thank you for your selfless giving, comrades.

Alfred, how many calories are in a $10,000,000 Zimbabwean bill?

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Obligatory Comment: In the interest of Party Morale, I bring you Ongoing Recovery Operations of our Glorious Collective. Long Live the Death Spiral! Image

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Obligatory Comment: Due to saboteur related shotages, a triage will be ordered to determine the greatest need for StateCare. Collective resources will be insufficient. Proles are still required to give generously from their allowance. Image

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Comrades, it's time for a moment of silent weeping. It's time to select another ribbon. Because of Bush's policies that have led to record unemployment, our fallen heroes are going to find it that much harder to find work. Yes, work, like the thing where you have to work. For the love of Darwin! Isn't there some kind of government handout for these helpless victims!? You know, just a little to tide them over for a few decades so they can live in dignity while searching for a professorship?

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On a positive note. Comrade Grayson got a new job.
Nice to see him adapt so quickly to life as a despot of the Bu$hitlers voodoo economic's like the rest of us.

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