US Financial Industry to Replace Dollar with Food Stamps

As experts ponder the implications of America's stepping-back from world political leadership, finance professionals are openly discussing what the world will be like without the US dollar as the primary unit of international and domestic trade. In the meantime, American businesses are considering the benefits of a new economy based on food stamps.

"While the dollar's future is glum, the food stamp is on its ascendency," said Melanie Carnegie, a senior financial analyst at the non-partisan Cloward-Piven Strategy Institute in Washington, DC. "We at Cloward-Piven are actively working with big corporations, such as J.P. Morgan and Xerox, to get them into Food Stamp distribution programs. We also assist them in lobbying Washington politicians to qualify all citizens for food stamps as a replacement for dollars in terms of purchases and even savings."


According to Carnegie, the number of food stamp recipients in the last three years increased by over 15 million and now represents well over 10% of US households. "More and more people are becoming comfortable with food stamps, and soon I think the public will be willing to give up cash in favor of the EBT card," she said. "This is the change we've been waiting for."

The change is obvious: once relegated to the poor and stigmatized, the Food Stamp is not just becoming more accepted, it is looking very lucrative for many US businesses struggling with a slow recovery and a large pool of potential customers sidelined from the market by unemployment.


"Everyone knows that food stamps stimulate the economy by putting purchasing power back in the hands of the unemployed, but the really great thing about them is that you don't even have to be unemployed to get them," Carnegie said. "Plus, they are not regulated in the same manner as the US dollar is, and so this gives the President more flexibility to increase the supply."

Carnegie added that this flexibility also allows the White House to redirect funds more equitably than private bank accounts and personal finances. She envisions a time when every U.S. citizens will only need one EBT card instead of multiple accounts.

"The credit card will soon also go the way of the dollar," Carnegie noted. "Poor citizens notoriously have difficulty getting credit or managing their debt. But the EBT program allows the government to assist them in managing their finances so that they will always have enough to eat."

Some speculate that the EBT card must also include specifications for purchases, such as quotas of certain products that must be acquired. This will help poor families, who typically have dietary management issues, to make good food choices.


"The EBT will set a 'budget' for a family, telling them what kinds of groceries to buy," said Carnegie. "You may see a time when the EBT will have an associated app for your government-issued phone to guide you to the nearest store, or to the one with the shortest lines. There's no end to the possibilities."

Will the dollar be missed? Many American businesses seem to be pragmatic enough to overcome their sentimental attachment to the dollar in favor of something more profitable.

"Our nation is moving in a new direction and there's no way back," Carnegie said. "Big corporations understand that and are willing to assist the government by providing the technological know-how to make this work."

"Corporate executives want to get in on the top floor of this program to lock in their positions. It is going to happen, and now is the time to act," she added optimistically.


 

Applying for food stamps has never been easier. It has to be true because the government said it.



 

Thank Lenin most of us on The Cube already have our Obamacards™! All we need to do is walk in and flash it, and instant food stamps!
 

This reminds me of the old days in the lab where we trained cute little rats to "press" a bar for food pellets. In the Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ we will "flash" our Obamacard. From lab rats to peasants in a single generation. How progressive!
 

What's even nicer is that most states are issuing EBT cards, or Electronic Benefit Transfer cards that are used just like a debit card, and the comrade's monthly beet and vodka stipend is automatically transferred to the tovarish's account. There is no end to the things a creative comrade can purchase with such a card and there is no filthy capitalist currency to handle either!
 

Yes, Comrade, and the Ministry of Equal Redistribution has put out an educational video extolling the virtues of Proletarian participation in EBT...

Commissar Wahoo

What's even nicer is that most states are issuing EBT cards, or Electronic Benefit Transfer cards that are used just like a debit card, and the comrade's monthly beet and vodka stipend is automatically transferred to the tovarish's account. There is no end to the things a creative comrade can purchase with such a card and there is no filthy capitalist currency to handle either!
 

Newly released Government Food Stamp Enlistment theme song

“Free Ride”

Unemployment is high, job seeking is low
And you're confused on which way to go
Obama’s come here to give you a hand
And lead you into the dependency land, so

Come on and take a free ride (Free ride)
Come on and sit here by my side
Come on and take a free ride

All over the country, I'm seeing it the same
Obama is winning the handout game
We gotta do better, it's time to begin
You know all the answers must come from his pen, so

Come on and take a free ride (Free ride)]
Come on and sit here by my side
Come on and take a free ride

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, free ride

Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
 

Will universal background checks be required?
 

 

There is a slight risk that the use of the cards will lead to inflation ...



 

And lest we forget, Comrade Peloski noted that food stamps help the economy, so we shall look FORWARD to a great and glorious surge in visits to strip clubs and casinos worker productivity, all because of the EBT card.
 

Party elites have escalated the war on parody to new levels. Yes, comrades, this is making our task more difficult. But I stand firm, shovel in hand, undaunted! Hail Dear Leader. Hail Obama!
 

Food Stamery - bah. Humbug. Replace all stamps with bottles of the Peoples Cheap Vodka and all we will happy and more productive. (I know so because I was told so)


 

Quote:

He said the food stamps industry is "encouraging more people to sign up and use your money" and noted J.P. Morgan makes as much as $2.20 per person, per month for each EBT participant in some states.

"As food stamp rolls expand, so do corporate profits," Schweizer said.

Enlisted by class war, these corporations will be turned on by the very demagogues they are partnered with, accused of theft and corruption; demonized and destroyed. When you drink with the devil you get a comfortable chair in hell - until the devil gets tired of you.
 

FINALLY! A currency medium-of-exchange Free Benefit that is backed by the Full Faith And Credit of The Glorious Heroic Peoples Revolutionary Soviet Of Amerikkka! Now we can all breathe easier.
 

Now in the Washington Times

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/ ... od-stamps/
 

Comrade Red,

Did you have a hand in this logo design?




 

What can I say? Life imitates the People's Cube all the time.

BTW, the Wash Times post has a few good comments, and I'd like to post one here:

Food Stamps - the new unearned money. The only way you can get some is by not earning it.

Remember Obama complained that the US Constitution only has negative rights and no positive rights?

In this sense, food stamps are to the dollar what positive rights are to negative rights.
 

Last year during a televised meeting of our local Soviet, one female Commissar commented how "nice" it was that the poor were now able to use their EBT cards to pay their fare on the local People's Mass Transit System, including the purchase of a monthly pass. That enables those tovarichi to easily travel from one onramp to another where they can sit and beg for extra vodka money all day......not to mention ease their travels from one public agency to another and back again.

Truly, we are approaching a Socialist paradise here.....
 

I know of a print shop in the Little Village neighborhood (in Chitcago) that was run by the father of an alderman (who, defying all logic, is STILL an alderman) that printed any sort of fake documentation for illegal aliens at a modest fee. I'm sure printing up foodstamps and EBT cards wouldn't be a problem for them as well.

I just wonder how long it will take some 'genius' to figure that they should start using the same paper as they do for U.S. currency. Nahhh, who cares.
 

This is perfect! Soon Michelle Obama will really tell you what you can eat and can't eat. Once we all have Food Stamps, the government will only let you buy food that Michelle has approved. Next Tuesday here we come!