"Bing" Laden Croons Your Favorite Muslimus Al Qa'erols

Well, Comrades, the Marxmas's stockings have been hung up with care, in hopes that The One soon will be there. Time once again to sit shivering by the non-existent fire with a cup of cold potato peel nog and spread some Marxmas/Muslimus (for the Muslim in us) cheer with our old friend ....... "Al Bingle"



INFIDELS

Infidels ... infidels ...
Christ worshippers are blaspheming
Boom a loom (boom a loom)
To their doom (to their doom)
Soon it will be Judgment day

Christian sidewalks
Dhimmi sidewalks
All befouled by unbelief
In the air there are bleatings of falsehood
Ears are ringing
Christians singing
Out a message so vile
And from every church steeple you hear

Infidels (infidels) infidels (infidels)
Blasphemy time in the city
Boom a loom (boom a loom)
To their doom (to their doom)
Soon they will face Allah's rage

Christian church fronts
Even store fronts
Claim Allah has made a son
As the mushriks* bow down to their idol
Hear the bomb blast
Sirens rush past
Allah's truth will prevail
And above the commotion you hear

Infidels (infidels) Infidels (infidels)
Christ worshippers were blaspheming
Boom a loom (boom a loom)
To their doom (to their doom)
Now they will taste Allah's fire

*(one who places other entities, such as Jesus Christ, on same level as Allah)



SHI'ITE WONDERLAND

Believers wail, are ya listenin'
On their backs, blood is glistenin'
A beautiful sight
They're frenzied tonight
Walkin' in a Shi'ite wonderland

Gone away is my plain shirt
Here to stay's a blood stained shirt
We sing a sad verse
As the bleeding gets worse
Walkin' in a Shi'ite Wonderland

On your forehead we can make some blood flow
And pretend that you're Imam Hussein
You'll say "Are you Sunnis"
We'll say "No, man"
We've been beating ourselves
For hours with this chain

Later on, we'll be poundin'
On our chests as we're houndin'
The evil Yazid*
And his unholy deed
Walkin' in a Shi'ite wonderland

On your forehead we'll increase the blood flow
And pretend that you're the 12th imam
We'll have lots of fun with Mr Imam
Until he goes back into hiding once again

Later on, we'll conspire
As we scrub down our attire
To treat unafraid
The skin that we flayed
Walkin' in a Shi'ite wonderland

*(Umayyad Caliph who ordered the beheading of Hussein)



SHARI'AH LAW IS COMIN' To TOWN

Oh you better watch out
You better go pray
Better cover those arms
Or your skin we will flay
Shari'ah Law is comin' to town
We're making a switch
And lashing you twice
We're gonna shield the world
From falsehood and vice
Shari'ah Law is comin' to town

We'll cleave you if you're theivin'
We'll stone if you're unchaste
We'll know if you've hid your heart from Truth
So submit for Allah's sake

Oh you better watch out,
You better go pray
Better steer clear of those friends
Who are gay
Shari'ah Law is comin' to town

With a Ramadhan fast
And a happy Iftar
Lots of Hamdu lilahs
And Allahu Akbars
Shari'ah Law is comin' to town
You cannot eat pork
Or drink alchohol
You cannot take Spike
For a walk around the mall
Shari'ah Law is comin' to town

The gals will all wear burqas
To hide their tempting flesh
You won't even see their alluring eyes
Because they'll be covered by a mesh

So, you better convert
You better not try
To evade the jizyah
I'm telling you why
Shari'ah Law is comin'
I said, Shari'ah Law is comin'
You know, Shari'ah Law is comin'
TO TOWN!!!
 

Ahmed the Imam was a jolly jihadi
With a filthy cloak and a lice filled beard
And two eyes that could not see
Oh Ahmed the Imam
Was a weak Hadith they say
He was made from dirt
But believers assert
That he came to life one day
There must have been some kindly jinns
In that old turban they found
For when they said "Allah Akbar"
He fired his AK all around
Oh, Ahmed the Imam
Was as alive as he could be
And the children say he could laugh and slay
Even better than you and me

Ahmed the Imam
Knew Mosssad was on its way
So he said "Let's go
And we'll throw some stones
At the Zionist swine today"
Down to the checkpoint
With an AK in his hand
Firing here and there
Behind the boys in the square
Saying "Hit me if you can"
He told the boys to start throwing stones
To cover his heinous plot
And he forced the boys to keep it up
Until one of them got shot
Oh, Ahmed the Iman
Had to scurry on his way
As he waved goodby
He said "Don't you cry"
Your friend's with Virgins today
Yeah, he'll meet the Virgins today
He's gone .. to Al Houri .. TODAY!!
 

You know Ali, Dhimmi, and Osama bin Laden
Abu Nidal and Ayman Al-Zawahiri
But do you recall
The best dead jihadi of all


Akmed the Dead Jihadi
Had a very tricky fuse,
And if he ever pulled it,
You wouldn't think it'd blow.
(Like a bomb vest)

All the other Jihadis
Used to laugh and call him names;
(Like Infidel)

They never let Dead Akmed
Blow up in Jihadi flames.
(or a fatwa)

Then one dusty Ramadan,
Imam came to pray,
Akmed with your fuse not tight
Allah wills you die tonight

Then how Jihadis loved him
And they shouted Victory
(Allah Akbar)

Akmed the Dead Jihadi
You blew to infinity
(like nothing)
 

HERE COMES TWELFTH IMAM

Here come Twelfth Imam
Here comes Twelfth Imam
Right up from Twelfth Imam well
Ali and Hussein and all the Rashidiin
Unleashing the hounds of hell
Infidels praying, believers slaying
All is merry and bright
So cover your women and say your prayers
Cause Twelfth Imam comes tonight

Here comes Twelfth Imam
Here comes Twelfth Imam
Right up from Twelfth Imam well
He's on a mission straight from Allah
So don't follow that old Dajjal*
Hear the Zionists submit and lament
Oh what a beautiful sight
So dive under your bed and cover your head
Cause Twelfth Imam comes tonight .. Tonight!
Cause Twelfth Imam comes tonight

End of days .. end of times .. For the unbelieving swine
As The imam comes your way .. Today!

Here comes Twelfth Imam
Here comes Twelfth Imam
Right up from Twelfth Imam well
He doesn't care if you're Jew or Christian
If you stop being an infidel
Imam knows we're true believers
That'll keep us safe for the night
So keep your hearts from feeling fear
Cause Twelfth Imam comes tonight

Here comes Twelfth Imam
Here comes Twelfth Imam
Right up from Twelfth Imam well
He'll come 'round when oppression and chaos
Make life on Earth a hell
Perfect justice will come to all
Once Imam makes things all right
So let's give praise to Allah above
Cause Twelfth Imam comes tonight .. Tonight!
Yeah Twelfth Imam comes tonight

End of days .. end of times .. for the unbelieving swine
Here comes Twelfth IMAM!!

*(Muslim Anti-Christ who appears at same time as the Twelfth Imam)
 

Deck the halls with parts of Ali,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah
Come now and join Jihadi,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah

Don we now Jihad apparel,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah.
Roll out old Mohammed's Koran,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah

See the blazing infidels
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah
Strike your swords and then behead them
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah

Follow in Jihad's death venture,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah
While I tell Paradise's pleasures,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah

Blown away Jihadis passes,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah
Hail Allah, new lads and lasses,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah

Sing the chorus, all you greeted,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah
Headless infidels are defeated,
Allah, Alla lah, Allah, Allah
 

al-Lat, al-Uzza and Manat (My harem) wish to extend their affectionate graces to this delightful exposé of the "infidels". (adj., n.), from M.Fr. infidèle, from L. infidelis "unfaithful," later "unbelieving," from in- "not" + fidelis "faithful" (see fidelity). In 15c. "a non-Christian" (especially a Saracen)
 

A thousand welcomings to you, Market Grilled. So you've hooked up with al-Uzza, have you -- you lucky bastard. I hear she's a real pre-Islamic, barbarian goddess of fertility in the sack. I hear she really lets you "go into her fields as you will" (Surah 2:223) But always use protection with her; that woman is capable of spawning entire Arab tribes

Seeing as how New Year's is approaching, perhaps it's time for "Bing's" annual New Year salute

Hamza! Arba'ah! Thalatha! Ithnayn! Wahid .....
'AAM JADEED SA'EED

Should all the Zionists be blown up
And brought to Allah's Fire
Should all the Zionist's be blown up
For Allah's vir-gines
For Allah's vir-gines, Shaheed
For Allah's vir-gines!
We'll smash the cup of kindness yet
For Allah's vir-gines
 

Callmelennie

But always use protection with her; that woman is capable of spawning entire Arab tribes



Not only that but she also insists on naming every male child Abraham, which conflicts with one of the causes I take much interest in, it being the Prevention of the Spread of Abes.
 

Comrade Director, don't you mean "Deck the walls with BOWELS of Ali" ... or would that ruin the spirit of the Islamas season?

In actuality, comrades I'm not really responding to Comrade Groucho at all. After all, it's a year later, for Barack's sake. (Look at the year) I simply need to post some stupid thing to bump "Al Bingle" to the top of the Karaoke
 

Callmelennie

Comrade Director, don't you mean "Deck the walls with bowels of Ali" ... or would that ruin the spirit of the Islamas season?

In actuality, comrades I'm not really responding to Comrade Groucho at all. I simply need to post some stupid thing to bump "Al Bingle" to the top of the Karaoke A most excellent suggestion..
 

Comrades - allah be praised this Malcolm X mas




Away in a manger with goat that he led
The little mohammed grabbed him by the head
The stars in the sky looked down where they lay
The little mohammed a-twirl in the hay

The cattle are mooing the poor goatlet shakes
But little mohammed no crying he makes
I love thee mohammed though you make me cry
And stay by my saddle till morning is nigh

Be near me mohammed I ask thee to stay
Close by me forever and love me I pray
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care
And take them to heaven with blessings from CAIR.
 

How did I manage to miss this thread last year?!? My infidel bosom is a-quiver with shame, comrades. Truly glorious Islamas Qar'ols!!

May your 72 virgins be well fed, and may all your Marxmases be red!
 

On the first day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
A launcher for my RPG

On the second day of jihad my mullah gave to me
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the third day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Three blind shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the fourth day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Four howling mobs
Three blind shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the fifth day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
FIVE I. E Ds
Four howling mobs
Three blind shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the 6th day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Six imams stoning
FIVE I. E. Ds.
Four howling mobs
Three blind shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the seventh day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Seven swords a swinging
Six imams stoning
FIVE I. E. Ds!
Four howling mobs
Three Blind Shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the eighth day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Eight maids a-tempting
Seven swords a swinging
Six imams stoning
Five I. E. D's
Four howling mobs
Three blind shayks
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the ninth day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Nine AKs blasting
Eight maids a-tempting
Seven swords a swinging
Six imams stoning
Five I. E. D's
Four howling mobs
Three blind shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the tenth day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Ten houris pleasing*
Nine AKs blasting
Eight maids a-tempting
Seven swords a-swinging
Six imams stoning
Five I. E. D's
Four howling mobs
Three blind shaykhs
Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the eleventh day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Eleven snipers sniping
Ten Houris pleasing
Nine AKs blasting
Eight maids a-tempting
Seven swords a-swinging
Six imams stoning
Five I. E. Ds
Four howling mobs
Three blind shaykhs Two Taliban
And a launcher for my RPG

On the twelfth day of jihad, my mullah gave to me
Twelve bombers bombing
Eleven snipers sniping
Ten Houris pleasing
Nine AKs blasting
Eight maids a-tempting
Seven swords a-swinging
Six imams stoning
Five I. E. Ds!
Four howling mobs
Three blind shayks
Two Taliban
And a launcher .. for my RPG

*Houri -- Arabic word for the Celestial Virgins
 

Wallahi, comrades, is it Muslimas (for the Muslim in us) season already? Time to blast Al Bingle back to the top of the Karaoke.

This year, with new and improved "Twelve Days of Jihad"
 

I'll fly home this Christmas
Health Care plan's decreed
Drink cocoa with pajama boy
And always think of me

Christmas Eve will find me
With Pelosi schemes
I'll keep my own health care
It's my father's dream

I'll fly home this Christmas
You're in misery
Drink cocoa with pajama boy
And always think of me

Christmas Eve will find me
Where the sunlight gleams
You'll be screwed this Christmas
It's my father's dreams
 

Let's all sit back, comrades, and sip our potato peel nog as "Al Bingster" croons a whimsical ditty cheerfully celebrating the latest December snowfall in Cairo in 112 years. And yet the pitiful, foolish, hate-filled Deniers still, STILL claim that Man Caused Global Warming is a hoax!!! What more can The Leader do to convince them?



Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But your veil, my dear's, delightful
Got me horny as a Grand Pharaoh
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Oh, my camel is still snow sheddin'
And Al Gizah's right for sleddin'
Doesn't happen much in ol' Cairo
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

When we finally get to the mosque
How I'll hate bowing down in the snow
But if my forehead gets nipped with frost
A double barrakah* is bestowed

Oh, the snow pack is not yet melted
And Abu Hool* just got pelted
Go skating on the great Nile-oh
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

When we finally get to the mosque
How I'll hate bowing down in the snow
But if my forehead gets nipped with frost
A double barrakah is bestowed

Oh the weather aint been this kooky
Since the days of King Farouqi
But if Allah does will it so
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow


*(Barrakah -- Islamic credit for performing a good deed or an Islamic obligation that is applied to the debit of a bad deed in Allah's scale of judgment. This snowfall actually happened on a Friday, so Egyptians really did prostrate in the snow. Abu Hool -- Arabic name for The Sphinx)
 

Dumb they call me pajamama's boy...
Our new health care ain't free Pajamama's boy
Enforced by his decree, Pajamama's boy
As if he was a King, Pajamama's boy
Pajama boy Pajama boy

Drink some cocoa too Pajamama's boy
When he comes

Plaid pajamas, Pajamama's boy
These have footsies too Pajamama's boy
I'm on my mother's plan, Pajamama's boy
Decreed by Barack the King, Pajamama's boy
Pajama boy, Pajama boy

Can I squat here, said Pajama boy
On my bum?

Michelle nodded, Pajamama's boy
The press and libs kept quiet Pajamama's boy
Sat on my bum for them, Pajamama's boy
I drank my cocoa too Pajamama's boy
Pajama boy, Pajama boy

Then they smiled at me, Pajamama's boy
Me on my bum.
Me on my bum.
 

Well, the Marxmas' stockings have been hung up with care; in hopes that The Leader soon will be there. Time once again to pretend that I'm writing a serious post when actually all I'm doing is bumping "Al Bingle" back up to the top of the Karaoke
 

'Twas the night 'fore Ferguson, when all through the hood
The gangstas was stirring, all up to no good;
The six packs were stocked by the local stores there,
Unknowing tomorrow they would be bare;

The gangstas were all hidden under their hoods,
While visions of new big screens danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I poppin' caps,
We was chillin' down with our cop killin' raps,

When out in the street there arose such a riot,
And heard breaking of glass that shattered the quiet.
Throwing bricks through windows and fires in a flash,
They tore open store fronts and carried off stash.

The moon on the breast of this media show
Gave the lustre of respect to people below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Al and Black Panthers bringing distrust and fear,

With that little old liar, so slimy and slick,
I knew he was bringing us more racist schtick.
More rabid than wild dogs his media train
He dog whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
Sharpton and his crew for the since fallen boy
"Obama! now, Holder! now, Jackson! and Shabez!
On, Dyson! on, Touré! on, Shelia Lee Jackson!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now lie away! lie away! lie away all!"
 

Most amusing, Comrade Director. This should not be buried under 18 other posts; you really should start a new thread with this. It has more than its fair share of equality; indeed, the degree of equality shown here is almost unequaled

Moreover, it is, as The One is wont to say, running just a "smidgeon" afield from the original idea of Bing Crosby as a singer of Islamic carols
 

These songs are very equal. Or, in American, they're awesome!
 

By the blood of St Menses, Comrades, is it once again the season for the Winter Solstice Celebration Formerly Known as Christmas? It appears my stint in the People's Ward for Cardiac Refurbishment and Rehabilitation has played havoc with my memory!!

That being the case, it is well past time to once again pretend that I'm writing a serious post when all I'm really doing is tripping the mechanism to boost "Der Binghazi" back to the top of the Karaoke for the fifth year in a row.


(PROG OFF -- For newer comrade viewers, the seed for all this was implanted in my Islamophrenic mind five years ago when the month of Ramadhan coincided almost perfectly with the Christmas season)
 

 

It's the most blasphemous time of the year
With the Jews dreidle-spinning
While Christians are sinnning "Allah has a peer."
It's the most blasphemous time of the year

It's the crap- crappiest time of the Fraud
With the infidels smirking
And strange, happy shirking* that Isa's a god
It's the crap, crappiest time of the Fraud

There'll be alchohol toasting
Not heeding signposting
Of peril-ing down to the Fire
There'll be stories of mangers
And ignoring the dangers
Of stirring up Al Rahman's ire

It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much molar-gnashing
And instant heat-rashing
As End Times draws near
It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be shariks* for roasting
Blasphemers are toasting
For failing to walk the True Path
There'll be mercy-implorers
Who now see the horrors
For stirring up Al Rahman's wrath

It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be much Mahdi-dodging
Too late for dislodge-ing
That Son of God smear
It's the most wonderful time of the year

*(Shirk, sharik -- Polytheism. To Muslims, the idea of Jesus as the Son of God is blasphemous. Isa - the Muslim name for Jesus, who is merely a prophet)
 

My dear, dear Comrade Callmelennie --

I just wanted you to know that I have escaped the Gulag and am on the run...
Shhhhhhhh! Please don't tell anyone!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ... and carry on! :)
 

Googie

My dear, dear Comrade Callmelennie --

I just wanted you to know that I have escaped the Gulag and am on the run...
Shhhhhhhh! Please don't tell anyone!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ... and carry on! :)

I was worried... I hadn't heard your cage rattle in a while
 

PROGG OFF: I've run out of ironic things to say as to why I'm write this post every year. You know why. It's the only way to bump this up thread to the top of the karaoke ... so I can surpass 15K hits.

And away we go ....
 

Callmelennie

PROGG OFF: I've run out of ironic things to say as to why I'm write this post every year. You know why. It's the only way to bump this up thread to the top of the karaoke ... so I can surpass 15K hits.

And away we go ....
My dear Comrade...I think it's beginning to snow...snowballs of ideas. :)