Archbishop Desmond Tutu to Go to Hell

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

Comrade Archbishop Desmond Tutu stated recently to officials at the United Nations that he's hoping to go "to the other place", rather than to a "homophobic heaven".

Several members of the Tea Party and various Bible-based churches affirmed that that shouldn't be a problem, and that - based upon his life so far - he won't have to go out of his way to get exactly what he's hoping for.

Tutu, like our own Dear Leader President Barackzebub Husseinovich Obama a winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, was observed carrying an umbrella on a sunny day, beneath a sky filled with rainbows. Several people noticed a somewhat sulfuric smell surrounding the archbishop as he walked by with his umbrella, leaving smoking rainbow footprints, but most assumed that it was probably just due to some rotten eggs he'd eaten recently.

[Fraulein Frankenfeinstein]

(ummm, I am thinking he is already living there)

Why would anyone want to go to homophobic places when place of home and comfort is so available and easy to get a good seat? Tu is on the correct path!!

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

Tu is on the correct path!!

I suppose so, but it never rains in Southern California Hell.

[Comrade Pistov]

The People's Party will surely give him brownie points for his rejection of that precious eternal destination reserved for those who are virtuous in life. He will garner additional Honour for ignoring the Will Of the Supreme Being which the Party ideologist in it's collective wisdom denies any existence thereof. What we are discussing here is an eschatalogical non issue. Are there any who remember that auspicious year 1984, when the newly installed Archbishop of York declaimed that He did Not believe in God, and a lightning bolt set York Minster alight? Were it not for the skills of the senior Canon who fought the fires of London during the blitz, that great Church would be nought but ruins today. I can only deduce from this and the Party Ideologist would doubtless agree, that since Tutu has not been struck be lightning that the matter is moot. Ergo God does not exist as God, but is manifest in the Collective Will. And as Bishop Tutu expresses a desire to be among those he finds agreeable in the afterlife, we of the Membership Committee of Hell will confer on this matter. We can certainly use the amusement he might provide. I'm open to recommendations. Which ring should we put him in and what calumnies should he be made to suffer? How about a Charlton Heston film festival to begin with?

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

Comrade Pistov, should we deduce that - by carrying an umbrella (which could certainly double as a lightning rod) under a sky filled with rainbows - Comrade Archbishop TuTu is, in fact, daring the Almighty to strike him with lightning?!?

He IS looking up at the sky with a somewhat daringful look!

[Comrade Pistov]

Ah, Comrade R.O.C.K. The thought of seeing fried prelate is of a sporting interest. I think, (and God knows I shouldn't), that Tutu is not mindful that he is shielding himself from that gaylo may precipitate his fall from gayvor. Where for he ought to close it, and should the storm come he will then turn to mud. And his entrails and detritus would be laid bare for all to gaze upon it and say, "Holy Shit!"

[Pamalinsky]

Comrade R.O.C.K.,

You've done it again!

All I had to do is login and observe your headline to be filled with a belly full of laughter!

Upon further observation of other Comrade's replies, I almost lost consciousness from laughing.

Good one, all of you!

I really needed that.