Chavez's Body to be permanently displayed in Caracas

[Nomenklatura-climber]

Dear Comrades,

Comrade Lieutenant Colonel and President Hugo Chavez's body will be on permanent display in a specially-built mausoleum in the Venezuelan capital of Caracas, according to Comrade Vice President Nicolas Maduro.

The excellent care provided by the comrade physicians in Cuba has left Comrade Hugo's body permanently stabilized, and no embalming will be necessary to preserve his corpse. Like his forefather in Socialism, V. I. Lenin, Comrade Hugo's remains will be encased in protective Plexiglas and placed in a special tomb that will accommodate the thousands of visitors that are expected to flock to his memorial each month.

Brother Venezuelan paratroopers are practicing now for tryouts for the new Tomb Guard Ceremonial Unit being formed by the People's Army. Soldiers who succeed in being assigned to the unit will receive an extra ration of rice and beans per month.

Comrade Hugo, we will carry on your legacy!
The Dream of International Socialism will live on in our hearts!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

[Red Square]

Not only will Chavez's Mausoleum resemble Lenin's, but in the works are plans to recreate Red Square in front of it, complete with the State GUM and decorative snowdrifts over the cobblestone pavement.

In the next 5-Year Plan we should expect the addition of the Kremlin wall, towers, and the building of Supreme Soviet inside.

[Nomenklatura-climber]

[Red Square]

This may become a profitable business. I'm sure we will eventually also see this in Washington DC...

[Nomenklatura-climber]

Comrade Director, Due the cruel Republican sequestration cuts, we may not be able to afford the 'full size' model, and may have to scale back to a 'cremains-size' structure...

[Red Square]

The question on everyone's mind is: Will Hugo Chavez be preserved in Carbonite like Han Solo?

[img]/images/Chavez_Carbonite_Han_Solo.jpg[/img]

[Red Square]

What's next? I hear US Senate has plans to preserve and permanently display senators McCain and Graham.

[Nincompoop]

They are banning alcohol for a week.. Time to fall off the wagon

[$.$. Halliburton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.

You commies.

The truth is Venezuela's hard pressed to fund any such thing as grandiose as that. For the foreseeable future good ol' Hugo's going to be entertaining the masses in the only place Venezuelans can afford.

The adoring masses que up for tacos, laundry day, and Hugo the Stiff.

Maybe the prosperity coming Next Tuesday will afford him something better. Next Tuesday can't come quick enough because he's already starting to get a bit ripe.

[Comrade 9]

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

Meanwhile, back at the Progressive Utopia known as Venezuela, Jesse Jackson has arrived for the funeral, leading a huge throng of American Chavez worshipers. In the original version of the photo seen above (where Comrade Jackson is usually edited out by Rethuglikkkans for their own nefarious purposes), we see the Gang of Three, as the Right Left Reverend Jesse Jackson Sr. leads the Cuban hospital staff in a fisting cheer at Comrade Fidel's bedside, as Fidel gazes with unashamed love at his dear Comrade Hugo.

[ThePeoplesComrade]

There has been a great deal of conjecture about the location of Hugo Chavez, currently. Not all of us agree. Others don't give a rat's behind. I find myself in that camp.

Protestants are certain Hugo Chavez is burning in the pit of Hell for his lying, thieving, murderous ways.

Except for Lutherans who are trumped by Hugo's baptism which is a sure ticket to that great Lady's Aid in the sky.

But Catholics still hold out hope with sufficient donations, candles and a Hail Mary pass.

[Pamalinsky]

Excellent news! Keep it there!

[Pamalinsky]

Ooops! Turns out Comrade Chavez was too rotten to even embalm! So, no permanent public display for the masses. How can this happen in the most Progressive and superb healthcare system in the world, Cuba? Michael Moore assured us of this! Or, was it Venezuela? How come he kept going back to Cuba?

I am, once again, befuddled.

[Captain Craptek]

To Pamalinsky:

In the Land of Prog™ befuddlement is King,
Be not afraid, delusion is our thing.
Ignorance the foundry of belief,
Rejoice, and let confusion ring.

[KOOK]

A depressing UPDATE, Comrades:




Unfortunately for Hugo Chavez's surviving subjects, experts now say they probably won't be able to preserve him for viewing/worshipping by the masses as was done for Lenin because in the case of Hugo Chavez, they waited too late to commence the embalming process -- experts say they should have started more than ten years ago, but you know how slow bureaucratic paperwork is in socialist countries.

--KOOK

[Pamalinsky]

To Pamalinsky:

In the Land of Prog™ befuddlement is King,
Be not afraid, delusion is our thing.
Ignorance the foundry of belief,
Rejoice, and let confusion ring.

To: Comrade Crap:

Wow! I feel so much better now after reading your wonderful quatrain! I was verging on asking impertinent questions, almost falling into the abyss of logic! Whew! This logic thing always frightens me.

What put it over the top for me, though, was the fact that it actually rhymes!
I remember things like: "Bush lied, people died!" et. al., and know this rhyming thing is the absolute proof of…..er….um…truth!

See! I know how this works!

Thanks, Comrade I.M. Crap!