U.S.S.S. Statement

[Colonel Obyezyana]

[Colonel Obyezyana]

The projectile's path:

https://www.breitbart.com/2024-election ... n-attempt/

[jackalopelipsky]

Silence is proof of lack of innocence.

[El Presidente]

The White House Minisitry of Truthiness has released a statement about these fake videos showing the Trump created assassination attempt.

"It's also very insulting to the folks, the viewers who are watching it. And so we believe we have to call that out. We've been calling it ‘cheap fakes.’ That is something that came directly from the media outlets in calling it that, the fact-checkers and calling it that. And so we're certainly going to be really, really clear about that as well. And calling it out from where we are, from where we stand."
- KJP

[Colonel Obyezyana]

The White House Minisitry of Truthiness has released a statement about these fake videos showing the Trump created assassination attempt.

"It's also very insulting to the folks, the viewers who are watching it. And so we believe we have to call that out. We've been calling it ‘cheap fakes.’ That is something that came directly from the media outlets in calling it that, the fact-checkers and calling it that. And so we're certainly going to be really, really clear about that as well. And calling it out from where we are, from where we stand."
- KJP

That quote is from four weeks ago, but the Democrat-owned press has been picking up the slack with ridiculously misleading stories: 

Each of the above headlines is real.

 

[Ellsworth Toohey]

Loud noises at Cho Bai-dim rallies mean two of the 6 attendees farted. Or one did, and Joe filled his depends.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

The loud noises are the oafish efforts by legacy corporate media to deceive the public with misleading headlines intended to sublimate one of the most important events in recent history.

There's never been a time where the mainstream press has stood as naked as it is now, boldly lying to cover its own role in fanning the flames of hysteria and violence.

[Ellsworth Toohey]

The loud noises are the oafish efforts by legacy corporate media to deceive the public with misleading headlines intended to sublimate one of the most important events in recent history.

There's never been a time where the mainstream press has stood as naked as it is now, boldly lying to cover its own role in fanning the flames of hysteria and violence.

Spot on,  my hirsute komrade.
 

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Spot on,  my hirsute komrade.

Hirsute? In this heat? Oh, no, Comrade, I do a lot of whole-body manscaping to keep cool. (Makes it easier to spot ticks and fleas, too.)
 

[Colonel Obyezyana]

I saw this Marxist magazine's cover this morning:

...and I thought it needed an intervention, so here's my easy effort to correct its libtarded lies:

REF: https://www.conservapedia.com/The_New_Republic

[Panem Et Circenses]

Each of the above headlines is real.

The loud noises are clearly why his ear was bleeding.  Loud noises can cause significant hearing damage and bleeding from the ears is a symptom.  It was probably someone's monster truck backfiring.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

The loud noises are clearly why his ear was bleeding.  Loud noises can cause significant hearing damage and bleeding from the ears is a symptom.  It was probably someone's monster truck backfiring.

 

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Hmm. Sloped roof didn't seem to be a problem for these guys:

 

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

This producer of bullshit didn't seem to have a problem with a sloped roof that is, apparently, a serious safety risk for USSS agents who are trained to take a bullet for their protectees.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

This [bull] didn't seem to have a problem with a sloped roof that is, apparently, a serious safety risk for USSS agents who are trained to take a bullet for their protectees.

I have a nearly flat metal roof outside one of my windows. It's safe to walk on unless there's ice on it but it gets very hot in summer.

It's unfathomable that the mentally challenged USSS director presented such a lame excuse when a simple truth was available: the roof gets hot enough to fry an egg:

And even that fact didn't stop other USSS snipers from taking to a roof.

 

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Silence is proof of lack of innocence.

I may be mistaken but didn't somebody once say that silence is violence?

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Comrades, I've decided to offer my services to the USSS as a trainer for new recruits and those who need a refresher. I'm happy to show them how it's done.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

That reminds me: I have to make a supplement to the Super Woke All-Insect Diet chart.

[jackalopelipsky]

That reminds me: I have to make a supplement to the Super Woke All-Insect Diet chart.

The Super Woke All Insects Diet is going to reinvigorate the Australian Outback Cuisine. Dung Beetle Tail on the Barbie. Sunset. Next Tuesday!

KKKK, the Super Woke All Insect Diet Plan, not only saves the planet, but keeps you healthy! Jackalopelipsky is planning on going creole on a bunch of fleas, this coming next Tuesday.

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

That reminds me: I have to make a supplement to the Super Woke All-Insect Diet chart.

The Super Woke All Insects Diet is going to reinvigorate the Australian Outback Cuisine. Dung Beetle Tail on the Barbie. Sunset. Next Tuesday!

KKKK, the Super Woke All Insect Diet Plan, not only saves the planet, but keeps you healthy! Jackalopelipsky is planning on going creole on a bunch of fleas, this coming next Tuesday.

I'd love to get your cricket jambalaya recipe. Cricket is the national passtime here, after all.
 

[jackalopelipsky]

That reminds me: I have to make a supplement to the Super Woke All-Insect Diet chart.

The Super Woke All Insects Diet is going to reinvigorate the Australian Outback Cuisine. Dung Beetle Tail on the Barbie. Sunset. Next Tuesday!

KKKK, the Super Woke All Insect Diet Plan, not only saves the planet, but keeps you healthy! Jackalopelipsky is planning on going creole on a bunch of fleas, this coming next Tuesday.

I'd love to get your cricket jambalaya recipe. Cricket is the national passtime here, after all.
 

No matter your place around equator, there’s always room for cricket!