Uncle Chuck's Big Origami Folds End Shutdown

[jackalopelipsky]

Origami, the ancient art of folding paper into funny shapes, has been Senator Chuck Schumer's most trusted method to lead Senate Democrats. Senator Schumer's goal has always been to transform a flat, 8.5" x 11", boring sheet of printed paper into a finished, three-dimensional pretense through various folding techniques.

"The government's legislation papers provides Senate Democrats with endless ways to fold those pages into funny shapes for The People's™ government enjoyment. Learning the correct legislative paper folds prevents The People™ from focusing on the useless legislative mindtwaddle® printed on the paper while providing all participants with their own substantive origami lawn furniture. Melania's Rose Garden Club furniture is nothing compared to this Schumer origami lawn furniture that even Gavin Newsom would find suitable for folding up in while conducting a MSMDNC media interview," Chuck Schumer swore to origami paper artist, Margaret Brennan on her Sunday Newshead Show

Classic Schumer Origami moves are:

• Economic Valley and Hardship Mountain folds
  
• Squash Incentive fold
  
• Insider Trading and Outside The Beltway Reverse folds
  

Origami legislative paper folding is a process of precise folds Chuck has developed to lead Senate Democrats in the art of folding public opinion to believe a Democrat folded paper tiger is somehow a fearsome legislative creature.

Look for more Schumer Origami folds to Democrat Legislative Victory, just in time for Marxmas!

[jackalopelipsky]

This comradina has tesseracted upon Chuck Schumer’s Origami folds across unnecessary paper and came up with her own legislative moves.