USDA Has Updated Its Nutrition Pyramid

[Colonel Obyezyana]

USDA has updated its Nutrition Pyramid by turning it upside down.

However, the USSA is sticking to its old pyramid chart (at least until Next Tuesday™).

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

I'm Ivan, and I approve this message.

[jackalopelipsky]

RE: Kollective Pyramid

Question - are we eating bugs and worms like prisoners in a NOKO ReEducation Camp and just not talking about it to non Kollective inmates, or what? I think there should be some gecko tail meat in the Kollective’s Food Pyramid, just to keep things real.

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

Silly Rabbit,

Protein is for Party™ Officials.


Mind your own beets.

[jackalopelipsky]

Silly Rabbit,

Protein is for Party™ Officials.


Mind your own beets.

So, is this your Tractor Barn #2 takeout, Mr. Ambassador?



Can’t Bob be the jackalope’s uncle, too? Equity would at least share some cream gravy….

[jackalopelipsky]

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

A proper chicken fried steak should be large enough to require its own zip code, and it should be visible by satellite imagery.

I'll be stopping at Uncle Bob's next time I go through Belton for (cough) further investigation.



Disgraceful.  Not so much as a beet peeling on the table.

[Red Square]

I see no Jackalope in that food pyramid. So it's not mandatory foodstuff - and that's a good thing, at least for some of us.

A prole can't be too picky, or else. In the words of the classic from Jumping Jackalope Flash:

I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread
I was crowned with a spike right through my head

[jackalopelipsky]

I see no Jackalope in that food pyramid. So it's not mandatory foodstuff - and that's a good thing, at least for some of us.

A prole can't be too picky, or else. In the words of the classic from Jumping Jackalope Flash:

I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread
I was crowned with a spike right through my head

This is so comforting, Red Square.
Jackalopelipsky, isn't pyramid food-stuff. She's just a soul tortured Russian version of an American Gulag Archipelago surfer.

Howabout that CFS Ambassador Ivan's prepared to sacrifice himself for through further investigation? Beef's back on the menu, comrades. And, not just some Ol' Texazistan Meat Vodka some productive gulag prisoners distilled behind the Battery Acid Reclamation Plant.

[Red Salmon]

Most Equally Esteemed Comrades,

I was pleased to be excluded from the Party Approved ™ Collective Dietary Guildlines.  However I noticed the evil USDA new pyramid has a photo of a slab of flesh from one of my relatives.  I will be in hiding until the excitement wears off.  

Red Salmon

[Colonel Obyezyana]

I was pleased to be excluded from the Party Approved ™ Collective Dietary Guildlines.  However I noticed the evil USDA new pyramid has a photo of a slab of flesh from one of my relatives.  I will be in hiding until the excitement wears off.  

Comrade, you're not off the hook yet.

A Taiwanese friend once told me the Chinese themselves jokingly say, "The Chinese will eat anything with four legs except a table,"

But it isn't true, as you can see from the PRC's official food pagoda:

Make sure your hiding place doesn't contain crates of fortune cookies and barrels of MSG.
 

[Red Salmon]

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

I might be listed twice on The Chinese Food Pagoda!  Fish AND Revolting Abomination FromThe Deep.  (I may need new business cards!)  Either way, it doesn’t look good for Comrade Red Salmon.  Perhaps I’ll swim North through the Bering Sea to the Arctic Ocean.  Hide out among the discarded Soviet Era submarines.  My cousin Blinky The Three Eyed Fish lives there.  To paraphrase the insipid bumper sticker, mutate or die.

Revolting Abomination From The Deep,

Red Salmon
 

[Dr. Chicago]

Comrade,

Everything is delicious when you are starving washed down with glorious beet vodka.

I remain,
Dr. Chicago

[Panem Et Circenses]

Where does soylant green fall on the new chart, I wonder...

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Where does soylant green fall on the new chart, I wonder...

Greens.

 

[Red Square]

USDA has updated its Nutrition Pyramid by turning it upside down.

Flipping established charts, maps, and pyramids upside down is problematic, but not impossible.


 

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Flipping established charts, maps, and pyramids upside down is problematic, but not impossible. 

Argh, the clock hides Hawaii. There be Pineapple Upside Down Cakes.
 

[jackalopelipsky]

Saw the line “If You Can Read This, You Need More Protein” on the back of prepared meals food truck in Houston traffic.

That Food Pyramid flip has put thinking on the map!

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Saw the line “If You Can Read This, You Need More Protein” on the back of prepared meals food truck in Houston traffic.

That Food Pyramid flip has put thinking on the map!

Fish is high in protein and The Three Stooges knew it (even if Moe didn't know his taxonomy). 

LARRY: Fish is good brain food.

MOE: Yeah, you oughta eat a whale!