What Caused Lindsey's Sudden Illness?

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Comrades, Senator Lindsey Graham has died after "a brief and sudden illness."

Can anyone guess the cause of his sudden illness?

Given his unabashed position on Russian aggression and his presence in Ukraine, here are three possibilities:

One should get all proper immunization shots before traveling, but unfortunately there is no "sudden illness" vaccine to protect against what pops up in Europe from time to time. Just ask Victor Yushchenko. 
 

[Red Salmon]

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

Was Senator Graham near anyone with an umbrella?  Also, are castor beans readily available in Ukraine?  Asking for a friend.


Abomination From The Deep,

Red Salmon

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Was Senator Graham near anyone with an umbrella?  Also, are castor beans readily available in Ukraine?  Asking for a friend.

You're asking the right questions (for a friend), Comrade.
 

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

Zyklon B?

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Zyklon B?

Beware of Germans who say they have a "gift" for you—the German word for poison is "gift."
 

[jackalopelipsky]

Was Senator Graham near anyone with an umbrella?  Also, are castor beans readily available in Ukraine?  Asking for a friend.

You're asking the right questions (for a friend), Comrade.
 

Isn't it true that GOOF GAS was VART'd on American soil, and that just the other post thread day TPC SUBWH was just lamenting the cartoon character "Mr. Big" was taken out by a bar of Upsidaisium, not polonium'd, as we'd been Mandela'd to believe by Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale? Lindsey must have taken that Upsidaisium Bar to the heavens, because nobody would have used something like polonium to actually "kill" someone.
Hit replay on the Lindsey Mandela Video. You won't see Hillary's mean streak any more.

Now, the VART's GOOF GAS deployments say Mitch McConnell is recovering nicely in a secret underground chill room.

It's like there's this steady assault on what a comrade is supposed to believe.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Hmmmm...     compare headlines.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Was Senator Graham near anyone with an umbrella?  Also, are castor beans readily available in Ukraine?  Asking for a friend.

You're asking the right questions (for a friend), Comrade.

Isn't it true that GOOF GAS was VART'd on American soil, and that just the other post thread day TPC SUBWH was just lamenting the cartoon character "Mr. Big" was taken out by a bar of Upsidaisium, not polonium'd, as we'd been Mandela'd to believe by Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale? Lindsey must have taken that Upsidaisium Bar to the heavens, because nobody would have used something like polonium to actually "kill" someone.
Hit replay on the Lindsey Mandela Video. You won't see Hillary's mean streak any more.

Now, the VART's GOOF GAS deployments say Mitch McConnell is recovering nicely in a secret underground chill room.

It's like there's this steady assault on what a comrade is supposed to believe.

You're in luck, 'pelipsky—some real GOOF GAS just appeared in the Senate:

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/0 ... r-appears/
 

[jackalopelipsky]

Was Senator Graham near anyone with an umbrella?  Also, are castor beans readily available in Ukraine?  Asking for a friend.

You're asking the right questions (for a friend), Comrade.

You're in luck, 'pelipsky—some real GOOF GAS just appeared in the Senate:

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/0 ... r-appears/
 

Well it’s about time for some luck, Colonel O.

But correction—A Goof released methane gas in The Senate. This goof must be arrested and sent to gulag camp for demethanation processing. Immediately. Do regulations mean nothing, comrades?

GOOF GAS is from the inventors of polonium, but as clearly specified in our WH Training Film, delivers chaotic stupidity when released in a “closed environment” such Congress or the VART audience, making them the tools used to increase Goofs’ popularity, even as they methane up The Collective.

If that’s not reason enough to suspect the VARTs of being agents of Mr. Big, looking for Americans to GOOF GAS into mind putty up the Diwali methane pipeline??? I clocked the pink/red thing the VARTS had going on as they passed real GOOF GAS like it was an umbrella of loaded polonium. Brains waiting to be body bagged litter the streets in some areas according to unnamed sources seen exiting the back TPC SUBWH hatch.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Hmmmm....more suspicions;

https://www.breitbart.com/clips/2026/07 ... t-autopsy/