Leave Me the F#%k Alone

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

My apologies, comrades, for my long absence from reporting from the Southern Paradise Gulag.  There's been things going on. Not least of which being my health. Regardless, I have not forgotten my allergies,  I mean my allegiance.  Nevertheless, I feel I must express a frustration:

I really don't want attention, which is why I'm posting that I really don't want attention. If I really wanted attention, I'd go outside and meet some real people. But I don't want attention. That's why I spend time on X, posting stupid shit, that nobody cares about. Just leave me the f#%k alone. You're upsetting my equilibrium. Have you any idea what effect that has on my mental health? You selfish bastards don't care about that, do you? Just leave me the f#%k alone. I don't want your attention.

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

[Ivan the Stakhanovets]

Fear not, Comrade; nobody cares. I didn't even read your post.

Minding my own business...

Ivan

[Ivan Betinov]

I didn't read it either. Would help if it wasn't upside down.

[Ellsworth Toohey]

Have no fear Kapitan. I will continue to ignore you.

...but I may be around Kangarooland in March to spy on you.

...for the children, of course.

[Fodder For Cossacks]

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

Komrade

I regret to inform you....



In a groundbreaking advancement poised to redefine global surveillance capabilities, China has developed a powerful satellite system capable of capturing human facial expressions from orbit, marking a significant leap forward in remote sensing technology.
 

[jackalopelipsky]

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

Komrade

I regret to inform you....



In a groundbreaking advancement poised to redefine global surveillance capabilities, China has developed a powerful satellite system capable of capturing human facial expressions from orbit, marking a significant leap forward in remote sensing technology.
 

Hear that ET? Remember when Comrade Jackalopelipsky warned that you, the Mrs. ET, and your goat enjoying an evening in Bernmontistan were already missile targets while yall were enjoying some beet vodka sitting in the seats of your beloved rusted out Lada Riva overlooking the Frozen Falls?

[jackalopelipsky]

My apologies, comrades, for my long absence from reporting from the Southern Paradise Gulag.  There's been things going on. Not least of which being my health. Regardless, I have not forgotten my allergies,  I mean my allegiance.  Nevertheless, I feel I must express a frustration:

I really don't want attention, which is why I'm posting that I really don't want attention. If I really wanted attention, I go outside and meet some real people. But I don't want attention. That's why I spend time on X, posting stupid shit, that nobody cares about. Just leave me the f#%k alone. You're upsetting my equilibrium. Have you any idea what effect that has on my mental health? You selfish bastards don't care about that, do you? Just leave me the f#%k alone. I don't want your attention.

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

You do know they can target the expression on your face…

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

My apologies, comrades, for my long absence from reporting from the Southern Paradise Gulag.  There's been things going on. Not least of which being my health. Regardless, I have not forgotten my allergies,  I mean my allegiance.  Nevertheless, I feel I must express a frustration:

I really don't want attention, which is why I'm posting that I really don't want attention. If I really wanted attention, I go outside and meet some real people. But I don't want attention. That's why I spend time on X, posting stupid shit, that nobody cares about. Just leave me the f#%k alone. You're upsetting my equilibrium. Have you any idea what effect that has on my mental health? You selfish bastards don't care about that, do you? Just leave me the f#%k alone. I don't want your attention.

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

You do know they can target the expression on your face…

That's perfectly fine. The CCP has made it illegal to not smile.
 

[Panem Et Circenses]

Prince Harry? Is that actually you in the kangaroo costume?

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Prince Harry? Is that actually you in the kangaroo costume?

I take personal affront, and abback, to that. My balls are still attached to where they're supposed to be attached. I've, thankfully, never even met Megan Murkyle. All my opinions are Party approved.

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Have no fear Kapitan. I will continue to ignore you.

...but I may be around Kangarooland in March to spy on you.

...for the children, of course.

Thar March towords TWONT is unending,  comrade. Would be pleased to meet with you for a couple of beet vodkas, if possible. Depends on where you're visiting.

For the Children, of course.

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

Komrade

I regret to inform you....



In a groundbreaking advancement poised to redefine global surveillance capabilities, China has developed a powerful satellite system capable of capturing human facial expressions from orbit, marking a significant leap forward in remote sensing technology.

Hear that ET? Remember when Comrade Jackalopelipsky warned that you, the Mrs. ET, and your goat enjoying an evening in Bernmontistan were already missile targets while yall were enjoying some beet vodka sitting in the seats of your beloved rusted out Lada Riva overlooking the Frozen Falls?

I thought that quote was "Keep it and carry it in a shoulder holster" but I'll  defer to the Texanistanian.
 

[Ellsworth Toohey]

Have no fear Kapitan. I will continue to ignore you.

...but I may be around Kangarooland in March to spy on you.

...for the children, of course.

Thar March towords TWONT is unending,  comrade. Would be pleased to meet with you for a couple of beet vodkas, if possible. Depends on where you're visiting.

For the Children, of course.

Still not approved by the missus politburo, but would likely be South Mumbai Sydney & Gold Coast

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Have no fear Kapitan. I will continue to ignore you.

...but I may be around Kangarooland in March to spy on you.

...for the children, of course.

Thar March towords TWONT is unending,  comrade. Would be pleased to meet with you for a couple of beet vodkas, if possible. Depends on where you're visiting.

For the Children, of course.

Still not approved by the missus politburo, but would likely be South Mumbai Sydney & Gold Coast

Ok. I'm about half way between both. It would depend on your method of travel. If you intend to drive from Sydney to the Gold Coast,  lunch/dinner, in Port Macquarie, would be easy to arrange.
 

[jackalopelipsky]

My apologies, comrades, for my long absence from reporting from the Southern Paradise Gulag.  There's been things going on. Not least of which being my health. Regardless, I have not forgotten my allergies,  I mean my allegiance.  Nevertheless, I feel I must express a frustration:

I really don't want attention, which is why I'm posting that I really don't want attention. If I really wanted attention, I go outside and meet some real people. But I don't want attention. That's why I spend time on X, posting stupid shit, that nobody cares about. Just leave me the f#%k alone. You're upsetting my equilibrium. Have you any idea what effect that has on my mental health? You selfish bastards don't care about that, do you? Just leave me the f#%k alone. I don't want your attention.

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

You do know they can target the expression on your face…

That's perfectly fine. The CCP has made it illegal to not smile.
 

Yes, comrade. Thank Madam Mao, scleroderma worked HARD to tighten the jackalope’s face into a perpetual grimace that “passed” as a smile to those with control over my social credit score. Only imaginary gulag friends knew the jackalope’s “smile” was achieved using actual, physical torture.

[jackalopelipsky]

Your corespondent from the Southern Paradise Gulgag (SPG), KKK.

I thought that quote was "Keep it and carry it in a shoulder holster" but I'll  defer to the Texanistanian.
 

The Certitude was seized for appropriation from one of Colonel O’s Memes of Production Power Plants, located in various retrofitted TPC SUB.

And, it goes without saying, of course the way IT’s racked is everything in Texazistan.

[Fodder For Cossacks]

 

That's perfectly fine. The CCP has made it illegal to not smile.

Not to worry, Komrades!

Facial recognition from satellites has been around for some time. The PRC is just catching up! They had to steal the plans first, of course! From us! We invented it! Well, maybe with a little help from convivial Amerikanskii vacationing in Biarritz.

Smile? Give them the Roman salute! But they are Confucians so they really don't get it. Whatever. We don't care what the PRC thinks. 

Besides, it's Made In China! What could go wrong!

Yours


 

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Prince Harry? Is that actually you in the kangaroo costume?

I think that's Prince Harry in the Kangaroo court. I could be wrong. 

[Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt]

Prince Harry? Is that actually you in the kangaroo costume?

I think that's Prince Harry in the Kangaroo court. I could be wrong. 

[jackalopelipsky]

Comrades!!!

All this chatter, chatter, chatter, about balls. Who's got them. And who's future is a dodge ball projected drone to the head, comrade. This comrade is without balls - however, Mr. Lipsky...

G. Gordon Liddy, of WatergateMaxxing famously stated:

"As a convicted felon, I am prohibited from owning firearms. Mrs. Liddy, on the other hand, has never been convicted of anything. She owns twenty-seven, some of which she stores on my side of the bed."

This quote was frequently used by Liddy during his radio career to highlight the irony of his legal restrictions while advocating for gun rights.

Who reconnects us to BALLS, as Liddy's required surgical reduction due to their size!! Which reconnects us to the size of Trump's BALLS. And what's in the news? The BUNKER beneath TRUMP's BALLROOM!!!




BALLS and BALLROOM - into the hopper TPC SUB Analytical Intelligence of Jackalopelipsky produced this Space Dog Desk TELEX

Official Communiqué from the Central Committee of The People's Cube
Comrades of the Proletariat!

Hear the glorious decree from the depths of the TPC SUB, the revolutionary stronghold of "true" progressive thought!

We hereby announce the imminent construction of the TPC Ballroom—the most luxuriant ballroom ever constructed in the history of the class struggle! The TPC SUB WH COMPLEX announces BALLROOM expansion plans. Bunker Ballrooms are the top roof garden real estate, comrades. The opportunity to touch grass, and see beauty and great monuments marking valorous events. To see light in the darkness. Gardens, walkways, out the windows of The TPC SUB WH Complex BALLROOM and the interior.... to die for. #ballroomtrending

Spearheading this historic endeavor, Ivan the Stakhanovite—Ambassador to Texazistan and Director of Tractor Barn #2 —begins immediate bulldozing the designated land for TPC SUB BALLROOM, Landscape Gardens, and parking lot area. Tractor engines roar! Let the earth tremble! Like it's having to be done in Texazistan right now, because people break immigration law.



"Stop breaking Immigration Law. Besides, we could use those tractors on the TPC SUB BALLROOM site, but, either way we're billing hours on those diesels. Plus expenses!! My crew don't work for nothin', commies!!!" Ivan reportedly expressed from undisclosed table at a reputable TPC SUB WH location.

BALLS, comrades.
And
BALLROOMS!!!

Colonel Obeyezana is currently requisitioning the finest raw materials known to socialist science: the noblest stones, the most loyal woods, and vast quantities of corrugated sheet metal of every grade and finish. Chips and Tile designs meeting his requirements manufactured. The assembly of TPC SUB WH COMPLEX BALLROOM materials is a monumental endeavor. Transit Organization alone requires the exactamantatude of Colonel Obeyezana.

Meanwhile, Comrade Margaret embarks upon her shopping as a diplomatic trade dealer to source soft furnishings for TPC SUB BALLROOM. Craftsmanship in construction of soft furnishing industry's Forest Brigade are locating woods through Colonel Obyezyana's Mission Control and Direction. Data. Data.

Every plant and critter capable of use in the fabric/linens an average bunker ballroom expansion would require, only hopes to meet its quota to be used in service at the new BALLROOM being erected over the TPC SUB. Margaret is looking at some of the most advanced UV-ray and stain protectants created. Dye Recipes meeting Margaret's TPC SUB MAHA Standards will be exacted, for duplication requirement to meet the vast requirements of this BALLROOM. Trims to be woven. Comrades can follow Margaret's search for hand and eye quality in soft furnishings for a ballroom being broadcast through a TPC SUB special subscriber podcast.

And what is a ballroom without sustenance worthy of the TPC SUB revolution? Jackalopelipsky shall oversee the Test Kitchen Research Brigade, tirelessly exploring beet recipes in the enlightened manner of our MAHA predecessor, Booker T. Washington. From borscht of the highest order to beet-infused delicacies that nourish both body and ideology, the TPC SUB BALLROOM tables and kitchens plate up the best approved menu items. Select recipes can be downloaded @TPCSUBWHMAGAZEEN each month for your own Tractor Barn Lifestyle re education protocols and consumption alerts.

Upward, Comrades!

We're building the finest roof garden and BALLROOM at the SUB!