Newsweek Celebrates the Glorious World of Next Tuesday

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Comrades Sanders, Mamdani, Ocasio-Cortez and two other lowlifes bicycle through a sea of the blood of a free America after the GWONT.

No, Comrades, this is not a parody. Not an AI masterpiece by Red Square or a Photoshop phantasy from myself.

But it could have been.

This is the latest cover of the leftist rag, Newsweek, seeming gleeful and confident that the GWONT is right around the corner. 

Reactions? 

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Comrades, I've discovered that if you wear your rose-colored "They Live" glasses, the REAL Newsweek cover reveals itself.

By placing those glasses over my camera lens I was able to capture this image:

[Colonel Obyezyana]

BONUS PRO TIP

Comrades, changing text on a magazine cover, newspaper front page or an online headline can be tricky. However, an opportunity to merely delete a few words sometimes presents  itself. The results may actually reveal a subliminal message from the headline writer. For example:

Yes, it may appear crass and juvenile, but it also begs the question, "Why didn't the headline writer choose 'releases' instead of 'puts out'?

[jackalopelipsky]

Why are bicycles still the preferred transportation choice of Communists when flying cars exist? Is Newsweek declaring communism is a primitive economic system returning The Collective to transportation machines requiring the user to expend laborious leg pedaling and arm/hand effort?

In my Tesla Y, I never have to pedal with my legs and hardly have to use my hands to steer when traveling. Parking is so easy as the Tesla Y does it all by itself. I simply use my voice to tell my Tesla where to go, not my hands and arms. The Tesla Y even turns off the blinker after making a lane change. Letting the machine cook is exactly what I was promised in my elementary school newspaper, “The Weekly Reader.”

China is producing military tanks that can be submerged off-shore for two hours before emerging to attack shoreline facilities and beach combers and Bernie’s telling Americans a bicycle is the best we can hope for if we vote BLUE?

What kind of primitive economic system promotes bicycles as The Future? Is Newsweek a Luddite news magazine?

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Why are bicycles still the preferred transportation choice of Communists when flying cars exist? Is Newsweek declaring communism is a primitive economic system returning The Collective to transportation machines requiring the user to expend laborious leg pedaling and arm/hand effort?

In my Tesla Y, I never have to pedal with my legs and hardly have to use my hands to steer when traveling. Parking is so easy as the Tesla Y does it all by itself. I simply use my voice to tell my Tesla where to go, not my hands and arms. The Tesla Y even turns off the blinker after making a lane change. Letting the machine cook is exactly what I was promised in my elementary school newspaper, “The Weekly Reader.”

China is producing military tanks that can be submerged off-shore for two hours before emerging to attack shoreline facilities and beach combers and Bernie’s telling Americans a bicycle is the best we can hope for if we vote BLUE?

What kind of primitive economic system promotes bicycles as The Future? Is Newsweek a Luddite news magazine?

I categorically agree: Free-Market societies need bicycles like fish need feminists.
 

[Fodder For Cossacks]

BONUS PRO TIP

Comrades, changing text on a magazine cover, newspaper front page or an online headline can be tricky. However, an opportunity to merely delete a few words sometimes presents  itself. The results may actually reveal a subliminal message from the headline writer. For example:



Yes, it may appear crass and juvenile, but it also begs the question, "Why didn't the headline writer choose 'releases' instead of 'puts out'?

My Dear Komrade Colonel!

S/he/Whatever lives on TikTok, obviously!

Yours

 

[Fodder For Cossacks]

No, Comrades, this is not a parody. Not an AI masterpiece by Red Square or a Photoshop phantasy from myself.

But it could have been.

This is the latest cover of the leftist rag, Newsweek, seeming gleeful and confident that the GWONT is right around the corner. 

Reactions? 

Well, Komrades, the Graphic Arts department at TIME is obviously DEI and H-1B and they are color-blind, medically speaking, on top of it all.

Speaking of "red," what's gone down the Memory Hole but is very apropos here is/are The Red Brigades of Italy of the mid-20th C. The they/them on this cover and the college campus activists today are amateurs compared to that rabble.

Ciao, Bella!



 

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Well, Komrades, the Graphic Arts department at TIME is obviously DEI and H-1B and they are color-blind, medically speaking, on top of it all.

TIME?

If you insist: