Apr 12: Laika the Space Dog gets statue on Cosmonautics Day

[IronyCurtain]

Perhaps I am too new to the collective and don't want to seem overzealous in the reporting of others so that they may disappear in the night, but, regarding this "comrade" BigFurHat...
is it not noticable that his hat appears to be GROWING? Why, it's approaching Sputnik size.
May I suggest the possibility that this person is HOARDING rations? And why would a person feel the need to store an unequal amount? Surely, this bears further investigation...

[BigFurHat]

Hoarding rations... ya.. sure... hehe... ya... like I would really have a small motorized refrigerator in my hat to store chocolates and caviar... sure.
In my defense, comrades, remember "Objects from the Mir seem larger than they are."

[Commissarka Pinkie]

What kind of cute baby animals--and how many--were brutally murdered to make that hat?

[BigFurHat]

None. This is a living bear cub hibernating on my head.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

But it's springtime, and the salmon are spawning. Don't you think it's time the bear cub woke up and got himself something to eat?

And where's his mother?

Not to mention it's cruel to make him sleep on your tiny head.

[BigFurHat]

My hat is well fed and trained to sit happily upon my well proportioned head.
And if you ever want to do any spawning of your own I suggest you tend to your own babushka- if you get where I am going with this.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Comrade BFH, because you are new I will overlook that last remark; however, I would ask other members of the Collective who have been here for much longer, to warn you of what can--and will--and does happen to proles who mouth off at Pinkie.

That's assuming there are any comrades out there who aren't afraid to speak up for fear it will happen to them . . . again.

[BigFurHat]

Would it help to tell you I was drunk when I wrote that?

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Yes and no. You must consider WHY you are drunk. What, or who, has driven you to drink? Made you miserable? Enraged you? Drained you of all hope (which, according to Obama, you never had to begin with anyway)? RUINED YOUR LIFE, AND THE ENTIRE WORLD WHICH YOU INHABIT . . . with lies . . . failed policies . . . blood for oil . . . the wanton destruction of all rights and liberties . . . Crimes Against Everything!

Whose fault is it, BigFurHat? Whose fault is it always? Who do you blame for everything? WHO?

Say it, BigFurHat. Say the name--the only name--that will get you off the hook every time!

[Red Square]

I would ask other members of the Collective ... to warn you of what can--and will--and does happen to proles who mouth off at Pinkie.

The short answer is "the shovel upside the head." Awww! What'd you that for?

Perhaps I am too new to the collective and don't want to seem overzealous in the reporting of others so that they may disappear in the night

One can't be too overzealous in the reporting of others, comrade. The Party is always behind its members. Watching. Closely. Very closely.

Here is my favorite illustration that describes the warm but responsible relations inside our tight collective.

<img src="/Vashi/pic/image21s.jpg" border="0" width="350" height="210">

ya... like I would really have a small motorized refrigerator in my hat to store chocolates and caviar... sure. ... remember "Objects from the Mir seem larger than they are."

The Inner Comrade is strong within BigFurHat. Let's cut him some slack. His innovative hat-held motorized refrigerator for hoarding food rations has the potential of becoming a state-issue item for privileged members in the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(TM). Besides, his line about "Objects from the Mir seem larger" betray a knack for Party-approved poetry that I'm sure would've melted Pinkie's heart if she weren't too drunk to focus on anything other than the size of the comrade's organs.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Glorious Leader, I am not drunk--or at least not any drunker than usual, considering it's Friday night--and it was precisely because he melted my heart that I cut him some slack and gave him a warning not usually offered to anyone else! (Just ask anyone else, if they can still talk through their wired jaws).

And as for the "size" issue--well, with all due respect, Sir, I am not the one who keeps bringing that up.

[Red Square]

That's one of the best Freudian slips most decadent bourgeois double entendres ever posted on this site. (I'll go check your other posts now for similar ones I may have missed).

[Marshal Pupovich]

Comrade BFH, because you are new I will overlook that last remark; however, I would ask other members of the Collective who have been here for much longer, to warn you of what can--and will--and does happen to proles who mouth off at Pinkie.

That's assuming there are any comrades out there who aren't afraid to speak up for fear it will happen to them . . . again.

Hmmmm, I remember a time not long ago when I was honored to have done so.... then I discovered that my subsidy-loss ratio was not as profitable as I had thought. So for now, I will just keep a close close eye on the market and that hat, and hope it doesn't get any bigger.

[Red Square]

Comrades! Let not this petty bourgeois haberdashery distract us from the main point of this thread - which is to find a name for our People's band.

Is everybody happy with Lubianka Lads? Here are a few more suggestions:

Trotsky and the Mensheviks
Laika and the Rockettes
The Fellow Travelers
Jefferson Hybrid
Stalin Airplane
Grateful Democrat Voter
The Ditch Boys
Climate Report (Not to be confused with Climate Underground, which is a non-profit organization that educates the masses about change)

And, of course, this one...

[BigFurHat]

Frankie Goes To Siberia
Trotsky Trotsky
Guns n' Vodka
The Moody Reds
Steely Vlad
Sha Nyet Nyet

[Superkommissar Maksim]

The Beetles gets my vote

Shot Down U2
Led Spudnik
Lynyn Skynyn
Men Without Ushankas
Georgia Satellites
Grand Funk Trans-Siberian Railroad

[Marshal Pupovich]

Comrades! Let not this petty bourgeois haberdashery distract us from the main point of this thread - which is to find a name for our People's band.

Is everybody happy with Lubianka Lads? Here are a few more suggestions:

And, of course, this one...

Comrade....is there a question that this is the correct name? When I mentioned the Lubyanka Lads, I was not implying that was the name of the group. That is just the term that was commonly used in the MSM which referred to the fact that all of the Famished Four came from the same working class city. Their name was the Beetles. It is an historical fact... Sometimes, I truly do feel like I am the Old Guard Dog here.

Oh, I remember Uncle Beria and Uncle Stalin never quite understood the name, The Beetles, themselves. They kept thinking they were named after the insects that their scientists were trying to develop into super bugs that would destroy the peasantry of the world one day.

[Marshal Pupovich]

In My Own Defense.... and I may need one soon....

I will have my comrades know that I have been busy indeed! But I am also efficient in that I am both protecting the People, and the People's Harvest and satisfying that Friday night rock thirst!



Laika has her radio signals, and I have my musical message! Of course you must know the code to understand it.

[Irony Curtain]

If I had the right to vote I would choose from among:

Frankie Goes To Siberia

Sha Nyet Nyet

Men Without Ushankas

Grand Funk Trans-Siberian Railroad

And contribute my own:

Aeroflot

But alas, I have more pressing problems. I do not want to brag but, no matter what I do I cannot get my avatar down to smaller than 8K. I have tried numerous methods and even phoned my physician after my avatar would not shrink in size after four hours but still no luck.
Does Glorious Leader accept bribes of Genuine Levis Slacks to look the other way while an 8K
avatar slips by?

[Superkommissar Maksim]

If I had the right to vote I would choose from among:

Of course we all have the right to vote, after which The Cubes ultra super secret delegates will make the correct decision for us.

[Marshal Pupovich]

What is this? Suggesting candidate names for the band after the Glorious Red Cube has created a magnificent band poster? Is that not sufficient for you comrades to know which way to vote? Do I have to spell it out for you with a shovel?

[Red Square]

Does Glorious Leader accept bribes of Genuine Levis Slacks to look the other way while an 8K avatar slips by?

Email me the image file for the avatar along with the Levis Slacks and I'll see what I can do.

Make the image larger than the target size and I'll shrink it bring it down to correct size with a team of propaganda psychiatrists at Karl Marx Treatment Center, headed by Doctor of Dictatorship Comrade Otis.

The trick is, the image must WANT to shrink!

[Marshal Pupovich]

Speaking of recalcitrant others in the collective, what do we have to do to cure the signature that is supposed to attach. Sure it promises to do so, but always fails to show.

[Red Square]

I attached Comrade Curtain's avatar today. Hope he likes it.

Pupovich - this is how easily people (and dogs) begin to take things for granted. Remember the time when the Cube functioned without the avatars? They were not in the original intelligent design. But under the wise and caring leadership of the Party and the Polituro we have achieved an unparalleled success in our unstoppable growth and provided the masses with the rights to have their avatars. And now that is not enough and you also want signatures? To stand apart from the others even more? No! This is where we draw the line. Signatures can only be allowed when everybody has one and the same signature - which defeats the purpose of having signatures - which is why we have no signatures.

How much more individuality do you want, Pupovich? How far are you willing to go? Wear a smuggled Levi Strauss jeans costume maybe? Listen to loud jerky music? Eat ALPO Chop House Grill Experience? Where will it lead you? I'll tell you where. In the end you may wind up wearing a pink ballerina dress with a red bow. You have been denounced in this Party organ quite a few times, comrade. You have been purged, yet allowed to return to your Commissariat. Don't shove your luck, comrade!

<img src="/Vashi/pic/image42s.jpg" border="0" width="300" height="238">
"I have to announce that Comrade Commissar has been relieved of his post -- for health reasons..."

[Superkommissar Maksim]

Ha! Pup got bitch slapped.

[Marshal Pupovich]

Comrade Cube, don't judge this Commissar too badly, for I believe I will soon demonstrate my great love for the Party in a way that will leave no doubt.

[Red Square]

That sounds like a fortune cookie. And here we thought all dog food from China had been revoked.

[Marshal Pupovich]

Comrade Red Cube, the deed is done!

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=1901

[Marshal Pupovich]

Ha! Pup got bitch slapped.

Not so, for as you will shortly see, this was just the spur I needed.

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

GASP! Is this what I think it is, Comrade Red Square!? Did you really use "Intelligent Design" in a sentence thus proving that you are one of many among us who deny the truth that all men/women were created by chance and evolved from Macaca!? Are you really that scientifically illiterate!? Sweet Stalin on high! Tell me these are not your words, Comrade Red Square! Please tell me that you did not utter the unutterable! Please tell me that this is some awful, awful mistake and that I am just seeing things due to the Oxycontin that I have been popping and the whiskey that I used to wash it all down! Please! Oh I beg you! I beg you to tell me that the following is not your words and was instead the work of ::INSERT NAME:: who is trying to to sabotage your reputation!

They were not in the original intelligent design

OH HOW MY HEART BLEEDS, COMRADES! OH HOW IT BLEEDS FOR THE TRAITOR THAT FORCED COMRADE RED SQUARE TO SAY SUCH A THING! OH! OH! MY PANTS RUN BROWN WITH MY REVOLUTIONARY EXCREMENT UPON READING SUCH COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY GARBAGE! MY PANTS, COMRADES! MY PANTS ARE SQUISHY AND FULL OF STEAMY REVOLUTION BECAUSE I FEEL AWFUL -- JUST AWFUL! -- FOR THE ONE (OR MANY) WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH WORDS! THEY WILL PAY! THEY WILL ALL PAY! NO ONE HERE USES THOSE TWO WORDS! NO ONE DENIES SCIENCE! SCIENCE IS ABSOLUTE! SCIENCE IS ABSOLUTE BECAUSE THEY PARTY WILLS IT SO!

[Red Square]

Could it be Pupovich that inserted those words into my post? Yeah, it had to be Pupovich....

[Marshal Pupovich]

No Comrade Red Square, I have thrown myself on my own shovel for the good of the Party, but my paw prints are not to be found on that! However, I did go see that counter-revolutionary film "Expelled" just last week so as to be prepared. You know, one must know the enemy so as to defeat them. It was a most interesting and well done film I am sad to report.

[Red Square]

Oh well. Back to the business as usual.

Another name for our band: The Eastern Bloke.

[Commissarka Pinkie]

Speaking of recalcitrant others in the collective, what do we have to do to cure the signature that is supposed to attach. Sure it promises to do so, but always fails to show.

Signatures? You mean as in signature blocks? Oh, we are so not doing that here! Not only do they needlessly clutter up posts--you already see my name and picture up there, is that not enough?--but they are little more than organs of shameless self-promotion, listing, nay, boasting of all the poster's latest accomplishments.

I'm on other boards where members go nuts with those things. Alas, some have more to promote than others, and you can imagine what that does to the self-esteem of those who don't have as many accomplishments. Indeed, some of those boards actually have rules about what you can put in your signature--e.g., no more than three lines--so that everything is uniform and consistent, and everyone is equal, and no one feels more accomplished than anyone else.

Pinkie
Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
Website jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org (blog updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Click here to download my favorite tunes!

"I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

[Superkommissar Maksim]

Pinkie
Commissarka of Vodka, Shovels, Beet of the Week Program, HBO, and Guest Soaps
Awarded the Order of Hillary
Awarded the Order of the Mime
http://www.jumpofftheledgeforpeace.org
The Spring 2008 Collection of Pinkieware--Available Now!
Visit my blog! (Updated hourly with new posts copied and pasted with MimeSwipe)
Click here to download my favorite tunes!

"I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I'm with them." --Uncle Max in The Sound of Music.

<br>How can I possibly compete with a signature like this? Not only must we never have signatures, Pupovich must add bringing up the subject of signatures to his list of charges for pending show trial.

[Marshal Pupovich]

I must confess, I fell victim to a clever trap in the Cubes help page. I mistakenly assumed that since there were instructions on how to add a signature, complete with a check box that was supposed to activate said signature, that a WRECKER was at work here against the Party. Little did I know that the KGB had placed this option there to try and weed out self promoters. Clearly I am in need of increased vigilance.

[Marshal Pupovich]

How can I possibly compete with a signature like this? Not only must we never have signatures, Pupovich must add bringing up the subject of signatures to his list of charges for pending show trial.

There you go! An example of why I found it necessary to heroically throw myself on my own shovel, to breathe new fire into my comrades! Has some in the party grown too lazy that they now require the victim to supply ALL charges against himself? Would you have me be the judge and executioner as well Comrade? Is it not enough that I have provided the start? Or perhaps the Party needs yet another show trial once mine is complete!

[Red Square]

Yes. We trust you wouldn't mind paying for the bullets, as well as for the rent of the trial facilities, and salaries of all trial members, security guards, technicians, and the cleaning lady in a Che Guevara shirt. That includes, of course, their pension plans, medical benefits (with dental), social security, and unemployment insurance.

[Marshal Pupovich]

Comrade Red Square, I would be proud to pay for this.....but of course I will need to stash my contributions and expropriations away to pay the bribes that may prove necessary, or my funeral arrangements, which are quite extensive. Perhaps I can charge it on this Red Express credit card that I found at the Party Pleasure House. You would no doubt recognize the name on the card. Actually, the way things are going, those fees will be going to me since given the laxidasical Party response so far, I will be able to refute the charges and demand reparations upon completion. The Party will owe me for this one day. But I do this For the Party, for the Common Good as I am sure you will see.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

I tend to suspect BigFurHat of keeping his Socialist Wisdom to himself, using it prophylactically. It is our first duty, comrades, to share our wisdom, our knowledge, our experience. For after all, if the world is not made miserable, squalid, and sordidwealthy, happy and progressive by Socialism how will it be made so?

So BigFurHat, be sure to punch lots of holes in it so that the space waves from Laika can fully get to your tin-foil hat so that you may dispense them to the proles.

[Anonymous]

I am worker, do not hear me roar.

[BigFurHat]

See how humble, I left last comment as "guest."
I serve the collective. No special insight or wisdom.
I know what you know, what is good for the collective is good for me.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Uh, yeah, BigFurHat, uh, yeah. My point exactly. In fact with those opinions you have shown yourself to be an excellent progressive. Never thrusting yourself in front of others, always placing your own good at the disposal of others'.

By the way, just for safe keeping. May I have
1. Your social security number.
2. Your bank account numbers and
3. All those card-protection numbers? They're three digits on the back of a MasterCard or Visa, and four digits on the front of the Amex.

I'd be <i>so</i> careful with them. And it's for the People, you know.

[Marshal Pupovich]

But first, don't you think we need to see what is under that hat of his? For all we know, that could be one of the "undisclosed locations" that the Bushitler and Cheney slip away to when the proles come close to serving them the People's Justice™.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

Or it could be Saddam's WMD.

Or the notes of Jayson McBride.

Say, did they ever find all the Rose Law Firm billing records?

[Marshal Pupovich]

I have heard rumors that the eighteen and a half minute gap in the Watergate Tapes and the grassy knoll of the JFK assassination (yes, the entire grassy knoll), is hidden in that hat.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

It's big enough to hide Monica Lewinsky.

Wait. That's the wrong head.

[Irony Curtain]

I have heard it whispered that the Jimmy Hoffa investigation is now focused on that big fur hat.

And has anyone bothered to check if BigFurHat was in The Bermuda Triangle during the disappearance of all those battleships? I mean, what do we know about this guy?

[Father Prog Theocritus]

I'm starting to get interested in that red thing in the middle of BigFurHat's Big Fur Hat. Dirty enquiring minds want to know.

[Irony Curtain]

You and me both, Comrade Theocritus. He appears to be toting his own personal missile firing button!

[Marshal Pupovich]

Notice, he does not deny these things..... most suspicious!

[Irony Curtain]

I am also monitoring him in the CHEvrolet BillAyers thread. Who are his known associates and who has brought him here? He is quite humorous, yes, but I don't recall seeing him at the Yakov Institute For Comedy. Curious.

[BigFurHat]

Hey, I saw a real good documentary movie last night.
It was called No Way Out w/Kevin Costner. Anyone see it?

[Irony Curtain]

Nah...we don't get the new current movies in our sector.

[Father Prog Theocritus]

I only watch party-approved documentaries about Soviet boy meets tractor, Soviet boy falls in love with tractor, tractor falls in love with Soviet girl who looks like tractor, Soviet boy looses tractor, Soviet girl pulls plow for growing beets and potatoes, tractor elected to chairmanship of DNC, all live happily every after.

To watch anything else is bourgeois weakness and worthy of denouncing.

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

I only watch movies starring either Tim Robbins or Susan Sarandon. Everything else is just corporate garbage made by Rupert Murdoch and his corporate cronies.

[Premier Betty]

Movies? What is this movie you speak of? Sorry, Ever since GTA IV came out I have lost all contact with the outside world.

http://www.g4tv.com/xplay/reviews/1774/ ... to_IV.html

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

Mmmm... GTA 4.

[Premier Betty]

It makes me happy in places it shouldn't.

[Chairman M. S. Punchenko]

I know... GTA has that power. I am willing to plop down the $400 for a PS3 now that GTA 4 is out.

[Premier Betty]

It's out for the Xbox 360 also. My fortunate party position has gifted me with both a 60 gig PS3 and a 360 Elite, I'm gonna get it for the 360. After Microsoft cut a multi-million dollar deal with Rockstar Games for the online multiplayer, I'm gonna guess that there might be some advantages to having it on the 360.

Plus, due to the fact that the PS3 uses Blu-Ray, which is slower than the normal laser used by the 360, game developers have started loading huge chunks of the game onto the hard drive to speed up load times. This just fills up the hard drive faster, so until they get that problem fixed, I'm only going to use it for the really good PS3 exclusive games like MGS4, Resistance 2, Motorstorm 2, Killzone 2, Grand Turismo 5, and whatever else comes it's way. It's a great system, but I just don't want to fill my hard drive before it's obsolete.

[Marshal Pupovich]

Ah, my younger comrades.... As for me, I prefer to listen and view KGB interrogation tapes.

[Premier Betty]

That's because you have not yet discovered the glories of video games.

[Marshal Pupovich]

I have seen the kiddo's play some next door. I also have a nephew who is all into games. But when you have rode and camped with SOS MC to Sturgis, they seem so...well, unreal. Sad time Premier. Just 2 weeks ago I met a very nice 1%er, who was my best pal's "road dog." I really liked the guy right off the bat, and my friend told me all sorts of good things about him. Then I call this weekend, and discover he had been murdered a week later. This is the second time I met an SOS guy I liked and within a week, was murdered.

[Premier Betty]

Ouch. Sorry to hear about that.

Now if you were like me, you could just bury your sorrows in video games. Don't think about it as not realistic, but as a representation of technology and how it is progressing. After all, it's gaming and CAD drafting that's really pushing the computer industry.

[Marshal Pupovich]

I prefer to play GTH.... Grand Theft Hillary.

[Premier Betty]

Doesn't sound like much fun. Actually, it kinda sounds painful.

[Marshal Pupovich]

But most profitable.... You have to pay to play your game while I play for the pay with Grand Theft Hillary. provided of course she never figures out Hsu has taken the contributions.

[Premier Betty]

Sounds complicated. But can you do this in it?

[Marshal Pupovich]

With Hillary cash, I can do that for real, without recriminations..

But I have also been here 3 times, and may somehow make it this year, even if in a cage, for my best pal is getting married there this August. There is a short shot of some of my buds running pals here, right after the HA's.

Bikes, babes, and beer....

Explore your inner outlaw....