News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive)

[Margaret]

Democrats discover a "pursuit of happiness" clause in constitution, claim it means everyone has a right to healthcare

[Rock Tsar]

Thanks for the idea Margaret.

Democrats declare "pursuit of happiness" obsolete: "Why pursue happiness when we give it to you?"

[Margaret]

UN: 2010 was warmest year on record for AGW proponents trying to fend off lawsuits for fraud and misappropriation of funds

[Margaret]

Obama's choice of General Electric CEO Orin Boyle to chair the new President's Council on Jobs and Competitiveness will help Obama understand the business perspective when planning the economy

[Margaret]

President Obama orders nation to "build and invent stuff."

[Margaret]

Obama learns that his Cabinet isn't a piece of furniture, accidentally bumps into them in the hall

[Margaret]

Obama proposes national lottery tickets to "win the future" - proceeds to finance new government spending

[Margaret]

A small change to the sidebar, OA:

Historical revisionists: "WTF?"

Actually, that's not a revision of the Obama administration.

Never mind.

[Margaret]

"I've heard rumors that a few of you still have concerns about my new health care law."

~Last words of King Loius XVI just before being led to the guillotine
TPC Bigbook of Quotations

[mi]

New York Democrats denounce Charlie Chaplin's mockery of a foreign leader as insulting and disrespectful to the city's German minority.

[Margaret]

Obama says his favorite Ronald Reagan quote is: 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.'

[Margaret]

Obama says he's thinking of growing a beard just like Ronald Reagan's

[Margaret]

Obama says his favorite book is Ronald Reagan's book about capitalism - Das Kapital

[Margaret]

Obama says he broke down and cried when he visited Ronald Reagan's grave in England

[Red Square]

Margaret - perhaps you can write a short piece on Obama and Reagan?

I think this Time article can be easily rewritten (and shortened) in line with your ideas - https://www.time.com/time/politics/arti ... 79,00.html

I'd do it myself but I'm tied up with another story right now.

BigFurHat already did the illustration - https://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=57742

[Margaret]

Short piece on Obama and Reagan:

Our 12 year-old girl president puts on grownup make-up in effort to be popular

[Margaret]

"The ruling on ObamaCare is unconstitutional. If government can make you buy a car it can certainly make you buy health insurance," says Vice President Joe Biden.

[Margaret]

Obama administration holds New Orleans federal judge in contempt of Obama for ruling Obama administration is in contempt of federal court over drilling "permitorium"

[Reiuxcat]

Obama admits that the public's view of Michelle is not a fun house mirror image. Her large butt is that wide.

[Margaret]

The purpose of the Deficit Commission was to be a conversation starter, says Obama

[Rock Tsar]

Wisconson teachers care so much for their students that they don't have to teach them.

[mi]

Obama: we are all Libyan public employees now!

[Margaret]

Democrat senators offended by America's new pejorative for Democratic senators: Fleebaggers

[mi]

Obama: we are all Libyan public employees now!

Err, come to think of it, it was, probably, Joe Biden, who said that...

[Margaret]

The Congress shall have power…. To regulate mental activity commerce with foreign nations, and among the several states, and with the Indian tribes

[Colonel 7.62]

Bad weather leaves Midwest covered in white snow. Al Sharpton denounces weather as racist; demands diversity in snow.

[Margaret]

Obama awards Wisconsin Democrat legislators the Medal of Fleedom

[Margaret]

Obama threatens sanctions against Wisconsin

[Margaret]

New York Times corrections page:

The article Regulation Lax as Gas Wells' Tainted Water Hits Rivers of Feb 26 incorrectly stated that radioactive elements from natural gas drilling waste water are causing high incidents of cancers among the local populations and that irresponsible and criminal policies by unregulated drilling companies are responsible for knowingly dumping poisonous contaminated waste water into local drinking water supplies thus causing horrible birth defects, cancer and untold human suffering among the local populations; these statements should have stated that the natural gas industry is highly regulated and has done an exemplary job maintaining high standards in every regard. We regret any confusion.

[Margaret]

Obama administration cites New York Times article on the dangers of natural gas drilling to call for a natural gas drilling moratorium until new safety regulations can be crafted

[Rock Tsar]

Obama Administration arms US agents in Mexico with audio tapes of the President talking about how evil guns are.

[Margaret]

If there is anyone with money we can shake-down, this country is not broke, says Michael Moore

[Margaret]

The Democrats shall secede again! and find themselves with nothing like in Wisconsin

[mi]

Media accidentally left locked-up in Joe Biden's closet.

[mi]

Ten days into bombing, war-opponents still struggle to register LibyaBodyCount.org.

[mi]

Christians-for-Obama: St. Matthews went back to his good work as a tax-collector.

[mi]

As the French troops close in on Côte d'Ivoire's President, Code Pink condemns the France's "War for Chocolate".

[Margaret]

Obama blames the Apple iPad for his low poll numbers

[Margaret]

Obama vows to name his new government-built high speed railroad The John Galt Line after seeing and taking to heart lessons learned after watching Atlas Shrugged last weekend

[Margaret]

After seeing Atlas Shrugged last weekend Harry Reid promises to introduce his own Anti Dog Eat Dog legislation

[Margaret]

Nancy Pelosi says she has "a big crush" on James Taggart after watching Atlas Shrugged last weekend

[mi]

Syrian jury finds, protest outside mosque would breach peace.

[Margaret]

The Obama campaign's new "Hope, Change, and Leading From Behind" slogan proves to be true for the Obama campaign as new polls showing Obama behind indicate

[Chedoh]

Atlantis security forces struggle with protesters that fear their city will become a destination for jihadist due to location of Osama Bin Laden's body. Insensative Tea-party extremist boast "It's a good place for all terrorist!"

[mi]

Experts agree: shooting an unarmed elderly alleged terrorist in the face is more humane and less un-American than using waterboarding to locate him.

[mi]

Reincarnated Ted Kennedy spotted off of Martha's Vineyard.

[Margaret]

Foreign policy mixup leads to Obama order that helps the US

[Margaret]

Please oh please don't run Huntsman against Obama, fearful Democrats beg Republicans. Republicans ask: who the hell is Huntsman?

[Margaret]

Obama administration demands secrecy on how it implements its "transparent government" policy

[Margaret]

Harry Reid decries Republicans' strict budgetutionalism; 'We Democrats believe in a living breathing budget that evolves as society changes - today, tomorrow, the next minute, the next election.'

[Margaret]

Political activists against voter ID discovered to be teens in elaborate scheme to avoid being carded at popular area nightclub

[Margaret]

Rep. Weiner (D) asks the people to remain calm. No need for an official investigation or the FBI to get involved in "prank." Magnanimously forgives whoever it was. Just wants to get back to the important business of the American people.

[Margaret]

Unidentified area man discovers stacks of the Republican Rightwing Racist Codebook on side of road, returns them to address of the printing house on inside cover: DNC Press

[Margaret]

Global happiness index compiled by Peoples Cube researchers shows The Peoples Cube is best and happiest website, has healthiest babies, most bountiful beet harvests, enjoys wisest leader

[Margaret]

Sarah Palin, ambushed on her midnight ride across country, warns her mainstream media captors that Americans have been alerted that they're under attack and they stand ready for battle

[Margaret]

Democrat Weiner tired of jokes about his name changes it to Whinner.

[Ivan Betinov]

Pelosi reverses stance, vows to go hard on Weiner.

[Margaret]

In answer to his critics for basically seizing the reins of industry and usurping free enterprise by directing all important aspects of the economy through his administration Obama said: "I'm not trying to make this some kind of backward Communist country of the past, I'm making this a forward Communist country of the future."

[Margaret]

In desperate effort to cut government waste Obama consolidates all Federal websites into his easy to use Obama For America 2012 website

[Margaret]

Obama 44 fundraiser plays to nearly empty house at 44 dollars a seat, Democrats future Obama 44 fundraisers to pay voters 44 dollars each to attend

[Margaret]

"The American private sector must lead the recovery," Obama said as he signed a new executive order ordering the American private sector to lead the recovery.

[Margaret]

There will be no ObamaCare waivers after 2013, instead we will offer 'special services,' said a unidentified administration official.

[Margaret]

Huntsman Who, the Ronald Reagan of our generation, vows to be a very very very efficient policy-wonk collectivist technocrat if elected President

[Margaret]

"WE ARE THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION AND WE HAVE A RIGHT TO INTIMIDATE ANY CONGRESS WITH FLAG-DRAPPED DEMAGOGUERY BY RHETORICALLY SCREECHING AT THEM 'WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?' AS IF THE ADMINISTRATION IS AMERICA WHEN THEY DEBATE AND DISAGREE WITH US!"
~Hillary Clinton, June 2011
TPC Big Book of Quotations

[Margaret]

Senate Democrats that passed all the legislation of the last few years now accuse the GOP of trying to sabotage the economy

[Margaret]

Obama in press conference. On Congress: "I'm not the one on vacation all the time. I'm a leader. Congress is the ones on vacation. I'm not on vacation. That's what you are but what am I?"

[Margaret]

Obama was flabbergasted to be told today that the corporate jet tax break he has been vilifying was part of his own 'stimulus' package and that he had promoted it for job creation in the aerospace industry

[Margaret]

Sean Penn rushes to Cuba to be by the side of Hugo Chavez in his time of need

[Margaret]

Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds the US Constitution is an expensive outdated regulation framework that is wasting trillions on inefficiently regulating the federal government - recommends it be rewritten by the Obama administration

[Margaret]

Attorney General Holder warns he'll revoke the medical license of any doctor that surgically implants jihadist bombs resulting in mass murder

[Margaret]

Summer fun looks up! Labor Dept. revises June jobs numbers up from 18,000 new jobs to loss of 26,000 jobs

[Ivan Betinov]

DNC eyes Romney as possible nominee for 2012

[Ivan Betinov]

Obama breaks sippy cup in White House budget tantrum, demands meeting be moved to Camp David.

[Margaret]

Taking a page from the Reagan years President Obama announces new era of Glasnost and Perestroika

[Ivan Betinov]

Hoping to sway what he perceives as the Tea Party core, Obama compares himself to Nathan Bedford Forest.

[mi]

Organization formerly known as ACORN rebrands itself as MODErN. Plans the "More Debt Now!!!" march on Washington.

[Ivan Betinov]

Obama reveals Debt Ceiling plan: Do nothing, blame Bush.

[Margaret]

The Peoples Cube denies ever hiding "supercookies" deep inside your computer and nobody can prove anything anyway

[Ivan Betinov]

Vacation? No! Obama to join toiling workers in cranberry bogs of Martha's Vineyard.

[Superkommissar Maksim]

Obama announces plan to ward off further economic “Bad Luck”. Every American will receive a government issued good luck charm, providing that Congressional Republicans don't block funding for the 420 billion dollar program.