Secretary of State Thurston Howell III Hard at Work

[Karl Marx Treatment Center]

"Ringle, ringle
coins how they jingle
make such a lovely sound."

IN THE NEWS - The Current Truth Network, A Tropical Island

Despite previous denials that the Secretary of State has been vacationing the State Department now acknowledges that Secretary of State Thurston Howell III has been vacationing as Egypt's military ousted President Mohammed Morsi.

"Since he's been underway the Secretary of State has been in constant coms with the outside world.

“He participated in the White House meeting with the President by secure phone and was and is in non-stop contact with foreign leaders, and his senior team in Washington and Cairo.”

Earlier a State Department spokesperson said she could not comment on Thurston Howell IIIs whereabouts on Wednesday, but said he is kept in the loop on all the latest developments.

All of which is in complete contradiction to how former aides knew him as a Congressman, saying: "That guy doesn't know the meaning of the word work."

Learn more at The Current Truth Network.

[Chairman Meow]

I have heard that our Great Helmsman is also with our Secretary of State at this undisclosed location. Together with one of our top scientists, they are studying the coconut as the green energy solution to all of our problems.

[Comrade Otis]

Together with one of our top scientists the professor, they are studying the coconut as the green energy solution to all of our problems.

I wonder who the professor is, Secretary of Energy Ernest Moniz?

[R.O.C.K. in the USSA]

Comrade Otis, it's not fair to put up challenges that simply can't be met.

The professor was intelligent, well read, and level headed.

[Comrade Putout]

I have heard that our Great Helmsman is also with our Secretary of State at this undisclosed location. Together with one of our top scientists, they are studying the coconut as the green energy solution to all of our problems.

[Margaret]

So that's how he keeps his hair so full of body and luster. You can do anything with coconuts. He's like the George Washington Carver of coconuts. Telephones from coconuts. Electricity from coconuts. Exotic metals from coconuts. Rocket fuel from coconuts. Even miracle hair tonic from coconuts.

[Macker]

It is said that the Professor was once romantically involved with Carol Ann Martin (nee Tyler), who became Mrs. Mike Brady.

[Captain Craptek]

Comrade Obama has an uncanny ability to select cabinet officials who will take one in the shorts for him when necessary.

[Crystal Moon]

Where did he get this "secure phone"? I thought the NSA put a stop to that and rightly so. He should be using an ObamaPhone just like everyone else.