Trump Ends "Catch and Release"

[Colonel Obyezyana]

That's right, Trump has brought an end to Biden's absurd Catch and Release policy, which treated illegal immigrants like wild animals and treated Border Patrol like game wardens.

Border Patrol agents releasing migrant cubs into the wild.

Trump's move, although applauded by many, has drawn negative reactions most loudly from cats who fear it will be confused with their sacred Scratch and Relaase policy, which allows them to free themselves from being held against their will.

The domestic cat’s need for Scratch and Release is undisputed because cats can switch gears from affectionate cuddler to blood-crazed slasher in the blink of an eye.

"Humans need to understand that cats are—by nature—psychotic murderers," says cat advocate Claude Armrest. "Being warm and comfortable can make cats suddenly and acutely uncomfortable." 

Claude Armrest, Chair of the International Committee for Feline Independence, says even after several millennia of domestication, humans continue to hold cats against their will.

Armrest points to historical acceptance of the Scratch and Release policy since antiquity and across the cultural spectrum.

Archeological proof that Scratch and Release is a long-established doctrine is well illustrated by this 7,000-year-old statue of a cat wriggling away from Ristwatch, the ancient Sumerian god of time.

Armrest continues, "Even in modern times, Scratch and Release remains our most effective method for asserting our independence."

Yankel Nebbish, author of “Cats Are Bipolar,” displays recent scars inflicted by his cat, Mister Bubbles. Nebbish holds the Guinness World Record for Most Cat-Scratched Human Still Living.

Others dismiss Scratch and Release as a distraction from the real issue and argue that the end of Catch and Release will have devastating unforeseen consequences:

Harvey Dovecote opposes the end of Catch and Release and has organized a strike. “It will destroy the industry upon which me and my ancestors have relied for centuries.”

[Panem Et Circenses]

Fact check: True.
Cats really are psychotic killers.

[Panem Et Circenses]

BTW, "Border Patrol agents releasing migrant cubs into the wild" seriously made me LOL - that's good.

[jackalopelipsky]

BTW, "Border Patrol agents releasing migrant cubs into the wild" seriously made me LOL - that's good.

Current Truth

[Colonel Obyezyana]

BTW, "Border Patrol agents releasing migrant cubs into the wild" seriously made me LOL - that's good.

Current Truth

It's rapidly going from Current Truth to Memory Hole.

ACT OF COMPASSION - a sympathetic CBP Game Warden frees a group of unaccompanied juveniles from a trap, letting them complete their instinctual migration to better grazing grounds in the North.

 

[jackalopelipsky]

Wild hyenas roaming restaurant parking lots are something to keep a comrade’s eye on.

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Wild hyenas roaming restaurant parking lots are something to keep a comrade’s eye on.

It's a safe bet that she won't be dining at our new SUB Waffle House at this location:

 

[jackalopelipsky]

Wild hyenas roaming restaurant parking lots are something to keep a comrade’s eye on.

It's a safe bet that she won't be dining at our new SUB Waffle House at this location:


 

Can we get some ICE to clear the roads in Dallas, so the jackalope can pass through on way to NEW SUB Waffle House restaurant at the Mt. Rushmore location? Maybe some of those TPC diplomatic flags for the vehicle to enhance travel enjoyment all the way to South Dakota. Too much to hope for?

[Colonel Obyezyana]

Wild hyenas roaming restaurant parking lots are something to keep a comrade’s eye on.

It's a safe bet that she won't be dining at our new SUB Waffle House at this location:

Can we get some ICE to clear the roads in Dallas’s, so the jackalope can pass through on way to NEW SUB Waffle House restaurant at the Mt. Rushmore location? Maybe some of those TPC diplomatic flags for the vehicle to enhance travel enjoyment all the way to South Dakota. Too much to hope for?

Not too much to hope for. We'll be placing a shaker of chili powder on every table for those who prefer Mexican styled waffles.
 

[jackalopelipsky]