An epidemic of obscene hand gestures has spread through kindergartens and elementary schools, forcing State School Administrators not only to take leaves-of-absence due to Post-Traumatic stress associated with watching State Collective Broadcasting news of school violence and then being exposed to gun gestures by pre-pubescent children, but also requiring administrative punishment of students for disregarding the feelings of their Administrators.

The International Socialist Teachers Union, representing all USSA teachers, is demanding more aggressive suppression of violent gestures by students.

Several students have been removed from schools through the USSA, and more are likely to be denounced for this outrageous crime against our loyal and heroic School Administrators.

More Six-Year Olds Suspended for Making Guns with Fingers

While teachers are generally tolerant of obscene hand gestures, making a hand gesture in the shape of a handgun is simply unacceptable. Such a gesture can cause a teacher to think she is under immediate threat of handgun violence, which is the Number One cause of death amongst teachers (after overdoses of psychotropic medications).

The Union has appealed to the Department of Collective Education‘s Directorate for Affronting Behavior Prevention to develop a national curriculum component dealing with gun-shaped hand gestures. It is likely that the curriculum will be integrated into not only the Universal Pacification and Disarmament Plan of the Party, but also will be included in the Affordable Healthcare Act as a category for mandatory treatment.

In the meantime, the Department of Collective Education has promised to document these incidents in the offending children's permanent records. At a later date, they may be included in a new law proposed by Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama called ‘Maria's Law' after Maria Waltherr-Willard, a teacher fired due to her fear of children. Under Maria's Law, children guilty of scaring their teachers will not only be incarcerated, but will have to register with their local State Security apparatuses upon release from juvenile reeducation facilities and have their photos posted on the internet so that school administrators can identify and avoid them.

Stop violence in schools!
Protect innocent teachers from hand gesture violence!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Proletarian Red-noser

The hand (gesture) gun is among the most dangerous and lethal of all guns, which of course are dangerous and lethal in themselves. We must ensure that a complete and total ban on them becomes effective immediately!

He is doing that thing with his fingers again! NEA against school finger violence.

Too bad it's not loaded, huh?

I saw the infamous Agent 86 with a finger gun! It was on TV, it must have been true! With this documentation, we know that all such gestures are preludes to violence. We must act now!

The only korrect finger pointing involves the next finger over, pointed skyward, palm in, and arm extended in the direction of an evil Rethuglikkkan.

More signage will be needed to declare the finger-free zones where fingers are not allowed. Perhaps school stadiums would be the place to start.

We must implement the only State-sanctioned religion, Islam, The Religion Of Pieces, to enact Sharia law on these young hoodlums and have the offending fingers cut off for the greater good and Safety Of The Children™!

Problem solved.
You can thank me later.


We will have to appropriate the necessary funds to fully train all of our loyal brainwashers teachers to recognize those who may be more equal and thus exempt.

Comrade Dig4Utopia's solution is a double progressive entendre. Combining the social justice tool of the French Terror and the behavioral modification techniques of another social justice movement....Islam.

I recall as yesterday a mother's mortification of her two moderate carbon footprinted sons making such hand gestures at each other. Of course the highly embarrassed and flush progressive mother made repeated exclamations that they would never have learned such violent ideation in her household. What confused her was that she regimented the exposure of these children to environmental stimuli to promote their proper indoctrination.

Note the elegant balance of this maneuver. Scored a 10 by the Russian judge.

*Bleep* THIS!