Will Joe Biden be chosen to sit at the right hand of the Messiah? Is he to be the handmaiden of the political redeemer? Her Excellency, Governor General of the PCVA Kaine, and some idiot named Evan Bayh have all been told that they will not be chosen to accompany the Messiah on his mile-high ascension.

Who will it be and can we really take marching orders from someone like… *snickers*… like… *giggles*… JOE BIDEN!?

Longing for Her Excellency.

PEOPLE'S UPDATE: The Messiah has blessed Joe Biden. Joe Biden to become Co-Messiah as Hillary Rodham Clinton is cast down to People's Hell. All Hail the People's Used Car Salesman Joe Biden!

Is it just me, or does anyone else look at this picture and think of Anthony Perkins in "Psycho"?

PURGE HER! PURGE HER! PURGE HER!

Phsycho indeed. All welcome Comrade Norman Bates for Vice Obama!

Our Empress has been relegated to being a US Senator!! How will she cope with the humiliation and rejection?
Comrade Biden will be a valuable attack dog for His Excellency. He will show the world the depth of deception that McCain has in store for the sheeple and the world.
Well done, Comrade Biden!! By the way, what kind of deal can you make for a new limo for Chairperson Punchenko??

Yes, I agree, Komrade Zarkof. Co-Messiah Biden will be a big help when Barry meets other world leaders. It is nice to know he will have someone to hold his hand when appeasing Putin and Ahmydinnerjacket.

He can't really be "Co-Messiah" can he, Chairperson? Surely there is only one Messiah, one Obama, and Biden is merely His Prophet? Or something like that.

Maybe he could be keeper of the keys, a fisherperson of people. Or something like that. I honestly don't know where I get these ideas. Honest!

One of the greatest windbags ever to become permanently elected to the politboro, an agent of change for sure!

Yes we can?

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Maybe he could be keeper of the keys, a fisherperson of people. Or something like that. I honestly don't know where I get these ideas. Honest!

You get such ideas from the steady stream of Christofascist propaganda that is broadcasted on loudspeakers outside your collective, Commissarka Pinkie. Bush and his forces of darkness will stop at nothing until we all convert to his silly and intolerant superstitions.

I guess we will need to check the Book of Goremon to confirm Biden's place in the Trinity of the Obamessiah. Perhaps he is the Holy Washington Insider?

Comrades... must I point out that the Empress still has not had a silver spike thrust through her heart? Chairperson, you more than most know how dangerous it can be to underestimate the Empress. I have a bad bad feeling about this Obamessiah cult. I smell Rove!

Empress? What Empress? I know of no such thing. After watching Obama's latest celebrity-ladden video I can confirm that my mind is a blank slate with no such memories of any Empress, horn-dog husband or gawky daughter.

Comrades and glorious members of the party! I humbly submit my first posting to my fellow party members of glorious democratic workers paradise, for I am shocked and amazed at the imperialist Bushitler media for it's lies that I have discovered on Algores creation this afternoon.

Thier treacherous words can be found here: https://tinyurl.com/5vq7w9

Beware these words or you too will be duped by these falsehoods.

The Lord Messiah has a "Lack of Confidence"??? The Lord Messiah does not believe in his purest of hearts that he cannot triumph over the evil McSame? How can these shameful lies be printed by the Associated Press, spokespeople of the evil ones? How low will they go in the defamation of the co-messiah?

Welcome, Comrade Moose! The People's Cube welcomes all creatures, entities, fictional characters and the deceased to partake in the great task of undermining America. You will work hard, Comrade Moose, to help us advance the Progressive World of Next Tuesday. I suggest you tell us stories of your hardship in ANWR and how the pipeline has killed your family and left you with a stagnant living wage and lack of health insurance. The People must know!

Maybe Biden is Peter? Biden did denounce the Messiah 3+ times.

That's what I was thinking, Chairperson Meow, though I swear I have no idea where I get these thoughts. Should we call him Simon Joe? Or just Joe Peter? Or would that put him in direct competition with the Obamessiah? I think we should consult Theocritus about this, since he's overseeing the Cult of Obama's Penis.

To make matters even more confusing, I think I just heard a cock crow.

Thank you Chairperson Punchenko, your distinguished devotion to the People's causes is an inspiration to us all. I am sorry to disappoint you, Comrade Chairperson, but this modest and humble servant of the people ekes out his meager worker's existence in the great People's Democratic Republic of Michigan.

It is a workers paradise like no other thanks to the long benevolent rule of our progressive leaders working in harmony with the great and benevolent AFL-CIO, and of course the great leader of our biggest city, his Excellency Lord Kwami – who is a personal friend of the Messiah and has been in his holy presence many times!!

Our magnificent progressive paradise stands as a shining example to the other fifty seven states of the United Socialist Republic. We have been blessed with many years of fair and balanced progressive rule with only minimal interference from the evil minions of the Bushitler.

Did you know that on the map of our great People's Republic we are honored by our leaders to have our borders drawn in shape of the clenched fist that is the rallying cry for oppressed people everywhere in the world? Why only recently here in the People's Democratic Republic of Michigan we had a successful free and fair election, where we were blessed by our leaders and given not one but two choices on our ballots? We feel compassion towards our red state brothers who are forced by their deceitful and corrupt leaders to have to make so many complicated choices.

It is such a splendid and glorious place thanks to so many years of our progressive rulers that I feel compelled to hoard my precious carbon credits and attempt to write an essay about their grand accomplishments, there are so many to tell.

Your Humble Servant

Comrade Moose

Well, no matter who received the glorious honor of being Messiah Obama's vice, he/she/it is sure to be overshadowed by the greatness of the ONE!



Well, no matter what loser dimwit agreed to join Obama's Cult of Crap, the "Messiah's" resume and experience is sure to look unfavorable next to the dope's.

I would like to make a special welcome to Comrade Moose myself. I must admit, I have been a fan of yours for many many years, that is at least, until I came out of the closet so to speak, and embraced my Progressive side. Then I had to call to question the dastardly things you and your sidekick did to the noble Boris and Natasha. But I take it you have now seen the light yourself! Welcome to the Cube Comrade Moose. You may collect your blunt shovel from the guard.

Welcome Comrade Moose! May your service to the Party be fruitful and inspired. After your indoctrination, you will find that the Way, the Truth and the Light of our Messiah will show you the path to the Glorious World of Next Tuesday.

Just try to avoid any swimming lessons from Comrade Ted Kennedy.

he/she/it

Comrade Opiate of the People, referring to another person as "it" is hateful and demeaning! You are guilty of a thought crime and may need to be purged! https://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/ ... r-slaying/ Report to the nearest re-education center immediately! Now who was this "Empress" person? I don't recall any "Empress" or "HER" for that matter....

Comrade Ivan....clearly you are new to the Collective or I would surely have to denounce you for promoting exclusiveness, The collective has long recognized He/She/It relationships. Would you deny the right of equality for those who eschew sexual or platonic relationships with human beings preferring instead to seek companionship with non homo sapiens ? Are you a speciesist? Then what of our even more progressive comrades such as the Chairperson who perhaps due to their concern for the polar bears etc. also value their relationships with appliances so as to keep down their carbon footprint, Are you an appliancist comrades?

Did everyone hear Hillary wasn't even an option for the Obamasiah? Also, the smile of Joe could sell crap to a cow.

Marshal Pupovich wrote: The collective has long recognized He/She/It relationships.

Comrades, since the subject of "Its" has been brought up, let us not overlook the most victimized of all the inanimate victims of this corrupt capitalist society: ACRICs (Anatomically Correct Rubberized Inflatable Companions.) Now, ACRICs have been treated with scorn over the many years; relationships with them were not to be acknowledged in polite (or even impolite) society and they were literally used by their human cohorts and merely cast aside like yesterday's party balloons. They have been subjected to cruel and insensitive jokes by all races and creeds and if their names were mentioned at all, it was in a risible and pejorative manner. But in truth, I would wager that many of us in the Party have found associations with them at least on an intermim basis. After all, Comrade Breshnev was a wonderful man, full of the Revolutionary Spirit, but he had a face that could stop a contraband Swiss clock. If ACRICs were good enough for a hero like Comrade Breshnev, are they not good enough for you?

Comrades, it is time to end the decades of prejudice and antipathy towards ACRICs! I propose an emergency plank to the Party platform to make ACRIC's rights a topic for the next Congress. I further demand that economic compensation be provided to ACRICs for any offenses committed against them, no matter what shape or form they may have taken. I also ask that jokes, slurs or other verbal assaults perpetrated against ACRICs be considered a Hate Crime, punishable by whatever means the Party can dig up. And finally, there should be FREE healthcare for ACRICs at the gas station or tire repair center of their choice! Let us not let the air come out of this trial baloon, Comrades. Justice for ACRICs NOW!

Comrades, we are getting distracted in our giddy glee over the Obamessiah's most exciting announcement. Yet, what does it mean?

Simple, when you quiet your mind and allow the collective mensch to infiltrate the cerubellum, permeate the cerebral cortex, and mingle in the medulla.

Obama is THE LIGHTWORKER. Biden carries the spare BULBS. And a backup teleprompter. See, it's so easy...

In truth, many have prophesied to this fact, calling Biden a Lightweight. They were right!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I think we should consult Theocritus about this, since he's overseeing the Cult of Obama's Penis.

Yes, indeed, Commissarka. I am in charge of all the little pricks that attach themselves to the Obamessiah. I swear I don't know where I get these ideas but at times, deep in the night, I wake to find Calvin and Hobbes stealing my breath. Or is that Bruno trying to smother me with a pillow? Things are confused today, because I'm still giddy from the choosing of the COP of Joe.

I do see, however, a challenge. The entire stage of the convention will have to be engineered to prevent the Biden from slipping off the stage. In all of history there has never been an oilier person. In fact,

The American Heritage Dictionary wrote:smarm·y (smär-mee)
adj. smarm·i·er, smarm·i·est
1. Hypocritically, complacently, or effusively earnest; unctuous. See Synonyms at Biden, Joe.
2. Sleek.
[From smarm, to smear.]
smarm·i·ness n.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: In all of history there has never been an oilier person.

Obama and Comrade Pelosi be praised! The Party has finally found some OIL! And without drilling in ANWR!

I am told that the Anointed One's Athletic Cup Bearer had to have his hair plugs done three times because they kept sliding out. And he doesn't have to put Vaseline on his lips to smile.

But, putting Biden's personal vanity aside for a moment (granted it may require a forklift lifting crane to do so), the Progressive Party now has the TWO smartest people in the universe running for President! I know, Biden was originally supposed to be in charge of vice, but Obama introduced him as the "next President" the other day and the all-knowing Messiah is never to be questioned. Now, one may say, "Opiate, is this not a logical impossibility? How can there be TWO SMARTEST people in the world when the sense of the English superlative implies an unsurpassed level of something, i.e. ONE?" To that person, if he or she were foolish enough to say that out loud, I would reply: "Fool! Party has doubled its gifts to you and all you can do is stammer reactionary riddles? Go back to shovelling!"

Opiate, I do take your point. We could qualify this along the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. We cannot know who is the smartest person is at the same time. When we look at the Obamessiah, PBUH, he is the Smartest Person in the World. But when we look at Joe the Biden, his Serene, Oily Highness, he is the smartest person in the world.

His Serene Smile says it all, doesn't it? Those teeth. Those eyes. That <i>nose</i>. Those hairplugs. The Total Package.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Opiate, I do take your point. We could qualify this along the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. We cannot know who is the smartest person is at the same time. When we look at the Obamessiah, PBUH, he is the Smartest Person in the World. But when we look at Joe the Biden, his Serene, Oily Highness, he is the smartest person in the world.

His Serene Smile says it all, doesn't it? Those teeth. Those eyes. That <i>nose</i>. Those hairplugs. The Total Package.

An excellent hypothesis, Commissar. Quantum physics can help explain much about the Obama alternative universe. Heisenberg himself could have observed about Obama that the more we know about what he SAID about (issue of your choice), the less we can predict about what he WILL SAY about (issue of your choice) and vice-versa. If only Stephen Hawking had a better speaking voice, he would be the ideal choice for President Obama's first Press Secretary.

Perhaps we can explain the observed phenomena this way: Obama and Biden both inhabit different multi-dimensional hyperspaces which normally do not intersect except in our 3-dimensional universe (lucky us.) Of course, Obama's hyperspace has more dimensions than anyone else's. Now, Obama is the smartest fellow in his hyperspace as Biden is in his. We mortals can only see in 3 dimensions so when we look at each of them, they both appear to be the smartest in our world simultaneously! Unfortunately, we will probably need Hawking to explain the hair plugs.

Opiate, I think that I can weigh in on the function of the hair plugs. They are quarter-wavelength antennae for the hyperspace electromagnetic radiation. Or what we <i>perceive</i> as electromagnetic radiation. For the Obamessiah communicates with his other dimensions using the parts of Einstein's Unified Field theory that no one else has ever managed. Gravitational waves.

Our Many Titted Empress thought that she had mastered gravitational waves, but no: it is true that when she dropped a sandwich it would orbit her ass. But the Obamessiah is capable of thinking His Most Pure Thoughts (PBUH) and adjusting the interior of the sun so as to regulate the sun spots and <i>that</i> is how he made the oceans recede.

Whereas Joe bin Laden, which has been elided to Joe Biden, smiles his most perfect toothy smile, PBUH, and all the Great White Sharks sue for peace.

Truthfully, the REAL scientific mystery is how Obama and Biden will be able to cram two HUGE egos into one campaign. I will not offer odds on this, but it would not suprise me in the least if Biden withdraws from the ticket before the election, citing "family problems" or "health reasons". The real reason will be that there is only room enough in the Obama campaign for ONE huge ego, and it ain't the one belonging to the Senator from Hair Club for Men.

I love it. I can't figure out the calculus of it, though. Their egos are huge but also each one has a basic disconnect from reality: Obama thinks he's done things when, and I'd never think I'd agree with Geraldine Ferraro, he's gotten a free ride. And the Joe Bin Biden's quoting of references. My lord. Not only a huge ego but also just bad taste.

I can hardly wait.

I miss Her Excellency so much, Comrades. So very, very much.

Where is Godzilla? Where is Mothra? Where is Megalon? Where are the Japanese monsters when you need their leadership? Now <i>that's</i> class.

But do not worry, Meow. Our Many Titted Empress will never die unless someone shoves a copy of <i>Atlas Shrugged</i> down her throat while she is lying in a coffin that she paid for with her own money.

And it's not like she's going anywhere, Meow. She's going to stick around like herpes on a character defect.