April 1st is International Workers Fools Day

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Comrades! If we are to believe bourgeois historians, April Fools Day is rooted in religious traditions. In 16th century France, forward-thinking pagan and atheist activists who attempted to celebrate New Year in April, were ridiculed as "fools" and harassed by the reactionary Christian Church (a transnational cartel and a monopolist producer and distributer of the opiate for the masses).

A few dark, oppressive centuries had passed before the victorious progressive science revealed the reality of April Fools!

Image Oppressed April Fool activist devours capitalist means of production

Everybody knows by now that the true history of the world has always been about the struggle of oppressed minorities who have been bettering the society by destroying things, refusing to work, and fighting the ruling classes by any other legal and illegal (by bourgeois standards) means.

April Fools was the day when capitalist oppressors, religious bigots, racists, male chauvinists, and environmental polluters celebrated their hegemony over the exploited non-unionized minorities by laughing at them, calling them fools, and making them them do "fool's errands" (work for a living).

Image An impoverished oppressed minority representative ridicules imperialist Bush.

Today, however, the joke is on them! Armed with the winning theory of Marxist Historical Inevitability, progressive people of the world are laughing at greedy capitalists and their minions who attempt to pursue happiness in the post-modern world of shifting paradigms, social justice, and affirmative action. They continue to act as if they are still the ruling classes and cultural hegemonists, and the reason they don't realize that their days are over, is that they never bothered to read Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, or Gramsci!

Where are their community organizers advocating capitalism? Where are their street activists and massive rallies? Where are their grass roots philosophers in Hollywood? Where are their bourgeois propagandists in the academia? They have none - because they are the fools in today's world! They deserve to be harassed, ridiculed, and sent on "fool's errands" (productive work), as more enlightened and progressive segments of society continue to destroy capitalism through political activism.

The irony of social progress is that the formerly oppressed have become the leisure classes, pursuing happiness by voting for breads and circuses, and generally living off the taxes paid by the former capitalist oppressors - who have become the despised fools in today's politically correct world.

Also see the progressive Islamist view of April Fools here.

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First to write a comment, suckers!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha...

YEAH! Communists for Kerry is back---rock on!

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march... march ahead...
Why march when you could be carried on one of those elevated seat thingies by the proletariat? As I always say, if you don't want to do something yourself, get someone else to do it for you!

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Speaking of April Fools, this formerly tractable tool of progress has gone out of our benevolent control due to a loose screw. The screw in question used to hold the radio implant that was tuned to the same frequency as the one in Dan Rather's inner ear, both receiving regular transmissions from Laika the Space Dog.


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Red Square wrote:From the People's Cube archives:


But we must always remember that this would be a very powerful historical farce for the Greater Good. Otherwise, this poor soul will have to go back to channeling Luciano Pavarotti in a second-rate production of Boris Goudonov.

How sad a fate is that, I ask you? The next thing you know this poor man will be swabbing his face with a handkerchief and croaking some aria from the opera amid catcalls and European whistles of displeasure. Pushkin should be spinning in the grave at the very thought! (The opera was based on one of his dramas.)

I think the grain-based spirits have affected this missive. I'm still searching for some honest potato vodka...

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I think for April Fools day we should give gifts to our foreign allies; things that they might laugh about; things that they might see the depth of our humor and rush to our aid and protection; howabout.... an IPOD? oops. too late. April Fuckers!

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I feel so good being unemployed at the moment. If I work, I feel so foolish, not to mention oppressed by my evil bosses. If only I could get more people to feel the same at my jobs, we could get government hand-outs, and sit around doing nothing.

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Work and pay taxes, the joke is on you!


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Red Square wrote:Speaking of April Fools ...

Having been up to my eyeballs in alligators since April 1, 2010, I have discovered that for me April's Fool Day has become April Fool's Month. But I see that our leader has wisely decided to also extend April Fool's Day by loudly announcing his support for drilling for oil (while wisely quietly explaining that such drilling must be preceeded by a careful period of study and research on how drilling will be tantamount to raping Mother Nature and while also lining up stalwarts such as Olympia Snow, Susan Collins, Joe Lieberman, John McCain and Lindsey Graham to "reach across the aisle" to support our wise Cap & Trade proposals).

Thus, being insightful enough to understand his strategy, I have recently begun denouncing him for "caving" to the Mother-Earth-Rapers by supporting "drilling."

Indeed, if I am correct (when have I been known to be incorrect?), he has wisely decided to extend April Fool's Day into not only to April Fool's Month but also into 2010 Election Fool's Campaign, which -- if such campaign were to be successful-- will then officially end with a new November Fool's Day, to then become known as the former "Election Day."

It's such a brilliant strategy. By the time of the Election, all voters (other than Tea-Baggers, of course) will think he has become a Right-Winger. All true progressives will understand his faux-rightism manifested by faux-right positions such as faux drilling, faux budget "balancing," etc., and will thus vote for him. The rest of the electorate (except only for that tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny minority of voters knowns as "Tea-Baggers") will vote for him as a reward for his having adroitly "moved to the center."

In posing as his faux opponent on his faux-proposal for "drilling," I feel so invigorated. For me, I can feel Mother Earth moving-- especially during "Lights Out."

--Gorbels Cube