Barack Obama: the Second Lady of the United States

The White House is denying reports that the U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama had joined the Queen of Qatar on a high-end shopping spree in New York, spending $50,000 at a luxury lingerie boutique, closing off Madison Avenue and loading the presidential truck with $600 corsets and thongs from the Agent Provocateur store - at a time when most Americans can hardly afford Hanes underwear.

Director of communications for Michelle Obama called this story "100 per cent false, " claiming that the First Lady only stopped briefly to buy himself herself a fitted baseball hat and a pair of yellow construction boots. "The lingerie was intended for the Second Lady of the United States, who trusts the First Lady's impeccable expertise in executive undergarments," she said.

So who is this Second Lady of the United States? Candid snapshots below give a clue, suggesting that America today has no sitting President - but only First Lady Michelle Obama (FLOTUS) and Second Lady Barack Obama (SLOTUS).
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Answering further questions from the press, Director of communications for Michelle Obama explained that the deep and lasting relationship between the First Lady and the Second Lady is based on enhanced, mutually satisfying buying experience, expert advice, and the highest level of discreet customized service.

Since their first shopping date at Victoria's Secret, Michelle has become Barack's professional advisor with advanced knowledge of garments and trends, as well as of Barack's taste in lingerie color and texture.

Hence the confusion in the media that incorrectly reported Michelle buying underwear with the Queen of Qatar. Rather, Michelle was buying underwear for the Queen of Couture.

 

 

Members of the ruling class always have other members of the ruling class as mentors. I wonder if President Obama was an intern for President Clinton in the 90s? He would've looked fabulous in Monica's blue dress.

Cigar, anyone?
 

ROTFLMAO!!!!!
 

Your right, Blokhayev....... Mao would be rolling on the floor !
 

So that's why he was riding a girl's bike....
 

It all comes together, doesn't it?
 

We're not alone! A third-party leaked image:




 

The Second Lady should take great interest in today's crock of bad cabbage that passes for morning news. The highlights were of course such heady discussions such as the two actors from Three's Company making up after 30 years of animosity and the Second Lady's continuing total fabrication that Super PACs and Citizen United are new bourgeious creations.
They should have Mugabe on to describe how the British continue to oppress Zimbabwe.
 

Oh. My. God. I opened this thread and guess who was standing behind me looking? Bruno, of course. Bruno.

He looked at the picture above and mused. "You know, Theocritus, when Barry was here at the Rancho and I gave him the drag lessons, he did pretty well, when I could get his attention away from his college brackets. And look! He did learn how to have his feet cross over each other when he walks. That makes his ass sway just right.

"And I don't think that he had to use any foam rubber to get a good woman's ass. Do you think it could have been those estrogen pills that I gave him? And also, I gave him this "It's from http://www.boobsforqueens.com.

"You know, Theocritus, he didn't take that along? And now I see he doesn't need it."
 

Please forward the nomination as "Our Lady of Perpetual Prosperity".
 

I don't want to change the subject but speaking of womyn, has anyone seen Obama's grandmother in the news...............
I wonder if Darwin ever worked in that part of the world.
 

Obama's true love: burlesque. After all this fame as the Second Lady of the United States he'll finally get top billing at the better seedy dives on the skid road circuit. His act has nowhere to go but up. Talk about a Cinderella story!
 

I see this as the Obama Redemption Tour. Have you seen His Oliness with his feet on the White House furniture? Including the desk, a gift from England, made a British warship? Well, I'd have had it made into kindling, but the Bitter Clingers howled.

How better to distract people from the image of him with his feet on a desk?

And I'm sure that this makes perfect sense, like spending our way to prosperity and sobering up by chugging Everclear, because in my heart I feel it makes perfect sense. Because, all together now, "Reality is what we pull out of our asses at 7 AM."
 

A few more of those pics and you'll have enough for a calendar.
 

Comrade F.P. Theocritus..... Funny you mentioned the Obama Redemption Tour, our Party is looking for people to help! We need more fake criers, fake fainters, fake homeless people and precocious children to as shills again during Obama's speeches. (Obama's 3 wars have already supplied the dead soldiers).......he should have just gave the desk back to England like he did the bust of Churchill, he could have made it a two-fer and gotten rid of the desk to boot.....his gifts were really much more distracting than his feet, remember the DVDs he gave Gordon Brown that didn't work and the iPod he gave the Queen??...... His brother in Kenya was much more appreciative of the iPod Obama gave to him even though he didn't have any electricity in his hut to run it......
 

PR, you are inspired! We need Potempkin People! That's it! Rent Potempkin people!

If there's success and greedy capitiTOList pigs are making money, and incidentally hiring people, then we need to have people who are reliably surly, resentful, and infinitely self-entitled.

And so you know how hard it is to get them? I mean, we have the entire self-esteem industry: the NEA, because self-esteem means never having to teach, and the safety net, which is generous enough that hamburger flipping is despised, unless you're going to eat the burger.

But despite our best efforts, there are still some people who would rather do for themselves, and I HATE THAT.

So we need a reliable source of resentful, nasty, churlish, loutish trash and until we can clone the Obamas, we need to have Potempkin People.
 

Comrade Father Prog T. For the edification of lowly proles please use the proper vernacular in place of the phrase "Potemkin People." The Party approved term for Potemkin People is now "Occupiers" and/or "Union Astroturfers" (means the same really).....
 

PR, being by training a mathematician and computer scientist, I am using the root class of both Occupier and Union Astroturfer: it is Potempkin People. Every instantiation of say an Occupier results in a new object which on existence, sends messages to the other instantiation of Potempkin People, and all of them send a message up to the class Soros which then issues the marching orders.

Each instantiation has its own methods of course:

Occupier.Shout(TheCurrentTruth)
Occupier.Shit(FoodGivenYouLastNight)

and here's the big one

Soros->Occupier.Destroy(OtherPeoplesProperty)

The only trouble though is that they are by definition non-deterministic. Oh hell, just plain pusillanimous. I swear to Lenin these are the weakest-headed red-diaper babies that I've ever seen. Really, in my youth, I'd demonstrate for DAYS on nothing but thin potato soup and a few moldy beet rinds. But no, these people need Starbucks.

What's the world coming to? Where's the rage? I wanna feel the RAGE!
 

Father Prog Theocritus

PR, you are inspired! We need Potempkin People! That's it! Rent Potempkin people! .............

We need a reliable source of resentful, nasty, churlish, loutish trash and until we can clone the Obamas, we need to have Potempkin People.

Theo, here's our labor solution !




" Potemkin People Extrordinaire "

They even have their own T-shirts, for cry'n out loud !
( They've also been trained to get on the bus all by themselves. )
 

Father Prog: You're right, the unfettered rage is gone. It has been replaced by self- absorbed, myopic, wimpy, cry baby shit-fits. The wonderful untapped mindless (but oh-so malleable to our cause) rage is clearly missing. Before giving all my free will and thought to the state, I was a mere Potemkin Person myself. Back when I was still evolving into the beautiful mindless automaton that I now am, we use to have to snort our coke cut with baby laxative off mirrors ripped from the public latrine walls instead of vegging out on designer drugs . We didn't just shit in the streets, we shit and then smeared it on our faces and threw it at the "man." (Sniff) ..…I clearly miss the rage too…..
 

And here's the bit of really painful nostalgia. Remember the fun of busting up other people's property? The glee of wanton destruction? The reckless burning through of OPM.

Now that I am the Madest of Made Progs, it seems that I have accumulated a few exiguous assets. Carefully stolen, mind you and only from RethugliKKKans. And I rather want to keep it.

Well, I have toiled very hard over the past decades. I never let a good deed happen without taking credit for it; nothing bad ever passed without my remarking that it was Bush's fault. Even when he was at Yale it was obvious it would be Bush's fault and I started back then.

What I have I earned, just as John Kerry earned what he has.

Oh. That's right. He didn't. He just married it.

Like Teddy Kennedy earning what he had. Oh. That's right. He didn't.

Like Pam Harriman earning what she had. Oh. That's right. She didn't.

Well, it's mine and it's going to stay mine.

Hear and believe, Oh My Fellow Progs: there are two classes of money: the money in my pocket and the money which has been unaccountably delayed in finding its way into my pocket.

That's it.
 

Yes, those were the good ole days……. While we are reminiscing, do you fondly recall when our MSM had to hide our agenda behind a thin facade of "fairness??" Gone are the days when Walter Cronkite use to woo the masses with his hypnotically soothing voice all the while subtly steering their thinking in our direction with masterfully crafted biased reporting. It has been replaced by the likes of the ham-handed Rather who blatantly tried to pass false documents on Bush. It was of course Bush's fault that those lies about him were lies. Dan Rather, Larry O'Donnell, Ed Schultz (et al) all have the subtly about them of a stinky fart during Salaat.
 

Details keep pouring in:





 

PR, I urge you to become a devotee of MSNBC on the weekends. We go from the gloriously insane Lawrence O'Donnell ("Some people say there should be a public option. I think there should be a global public option!") to Rachel Madcow, who looks over her hoodie-ed shoulder and says--some bit of tantrum.

Then they go to prison documentaries. What a segue. As you know, in music when you change keys, you have to modulate. There is no modulation needed between Rachel Madcow and a maximum-security prison where one prisoner has "triple murderer" tattooed along his jaw line. One the right. He has another crime on the left jaw line.

As soon as you're getting comfortable with the Chicago-thug-style prison politics (David Axelrod could bite their legs off), then on comes Chris Matthews, his leg just thrilling to the glories of Lord Obambam.

Again, no modulation needed. From the glorious politics which leads inexorably to the prison camp or at least a re-education camp, to the prison camp, back to the politics.

Only in America.
 

Mrs. Red Square

Answering further questions ...

I dare say FLOTUS is quite envious of the fetching image of FLORS* even though I'm sure she doesn't know you're still using your "before" picture.

--KOOK

*FLORS: First Lady Of Red Square
 

It's good to see that the Second Lady knows how to dress up for one of Spitzer's One Act Plays!
Who calls TOP!?
 

You know, the JFK, Sptizer, Clinton, Edwards and Rep Weiner One Act Play boys could have all made a movie about Pelosi and named the movie after the battleship U.S.S. TORPEDOTITS
 

Need I say more?

Makes you wonder just what the word is on that box to His left, doesn't it?
 

They say that Bill Clinton was the first black President. Now they can say that Barack is the first woman President.
Bill moved to his office to Harlem. A security guy said that Bill had 25 women a day show up at the White House wanting to see him. He said it was horrible. I wonder how many show up at the Harlem office. The media won't report that anymore than they will report Communist activities.
I wonder how many gay dudettes are showing up at the WH that security has to turn away.
 

Too funny.

Does this make my ass look big?
 

HELLO KITTY!!!!
 

1IDVET

Too funny.

Does this make my ass look big?
"Does my big ass make my ass look big?"
 

INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH EYE CLEANER
Use whenever photographs of the Obama's begin to cause eye pain...
 

It's the USSA Torpedotits, sir. I'm personally having the entire Navy rebranded to the United Socialist States of America.

As long as we have the money to float a navy. Soon, by Lenin, we'll have our navy down to doing training exercises with the Libyan one.
 

Father Prog Theocritus

Oh. My. God. I opened this thread and guess who was standing behind me looking? Bruno, of course. Bruno.

He looked at the picture above and mused. "You know, Theocritus, when Barry was here at the Rancho and I gave him the drag lessons, he did pretty well, when I could get his attention away from his college brackets. And look! He did learn how to have his feet cross over each other when he walks. That makes his ass sway just right.

"And I don't think that he had to use any foam rubber to get a good woman's ass. Do you think it could have been those estrogen pills that I gave him? And also, I gave him this

"It's from http://www.boobsforqueens.com.

"You know, Theocritus, he didn't take that along? And now I see he doesn't need it."

Most Equal old friend. Yes I have had Questions about Obumbles, and who truly wears the pants.
 

Include tranny history in Obama's latest Mockumentary ala Laura Ingraham.

http://keyboardmilitia.com/2010/06/17/c ... ional-law/
 

This is why Obama is so unbelievably stupid on the law.
This carp does not go on in a real law school.

http://keyboardmilitia.com/2010/06/17/c ... ional-law/
 

The Looking Spoon:

It's a good thing liberals think gender is an artificial construct, then this shouldn't offend them...


 

Comrade: As made progressives we should not be surprised. For a very long time we have hidden the truth about the Wookee, that in fact, her husband was so weak he cries like a little girl when he does not get his way. The reason his transcripts are seal is because it was such a wimp, they felt sorry for it. As for mooch if she can't beat you up, she'll just breath on you...
 

Confirmed: Obama WAS our first woman president.



 

I wish I'd seen this when it came out; I needed the laugh when Comrade P**sy was in the Oval Office.